Jacks and Viv: Unqualified

Fingers crossed, there might just be a light at the end of the tunnel. As vaccines start to roll out, Jacks and Viv start to think through what a post-COVID world will look like when the pandemic starts to show itself out. We can't wait to hang out with our friends again, but what's the proper social protocol now? Can we hug people again? Does anyone even remember how to hug people?? WHERE DO MY ARMS GO??!!

Wine: Robert Mondavi Private Selection 2018 Cabernet Sauvignon and JoieFarm En Famille Reserve 2017 Chardonnay
Cheese: Happy Belly Provolone and El Pastor Spanish Herb Cheese

Alright, as a follow-up to our 'things we're really good at' episode, we thought it was only fair to counterbalance with a, 'things we're terrible at' episode. From cooking, to having general self-control when it comes to any type of food, it turns out.. there's quite a lot that we're just not great at. Hopefully you are also bad at these things.. so that we seem less like losers. Grab some wine too - but be careful not to spill and make a mess.. because it happens a lot to us.

Wine: El Terrano 2016 Albarino and Barokes Bubbly Rose
Cheese: Happy Belly Marble Cheese Sticks and Cello Mayan Cocoa Coffee Rubbed Fontana

Parents. They're supposed to be the ones to guide you in life. Pass down their knowledge and wisdom. But....Santa Claus? Not swimming 30 minutes after you've eaten? You need a husband???!!!! Our parents love us (or at least, we think they do), but MAN can they lie. In this episode, Jacks and Viv run down the list of lies their parents told them as kids... and into adulthood.

Wine: SIMI Sonoma County Chardonnay and Steel and Oak Blush Rose Saison
Cheese: Babybels and Jalapeno Monteray Jack Cheese

The day has finally come. After fighting off elbow-less weirdos and homeless suitors, ages of searching all the dating apps, Jacks is finally the plunge. Yup. She's moving in with her boyfriend. In this episode, Viv answers Jacks' burning questions on how to cohabitate with her SO without killing each other. Viv doesn't really give the best advice, but that's all Jacks has, so it is what it is. Let's hope their boyfriends don't kick them out after this episode...

Wine: Field Recordings 2015 Fiction Red and Secret Society Cabernet Sauvignon
Cheese: More 365 White Cheddar and Mango Ginger Stilton

Which do you celebrate?

Galentine's Day - you give props to your gal pals for sticking by you through thick and thin! You share life updates, whether it be promotions, breakups, a new recipe or an unmentionable experience in the bathroom. When you're drunk, you know your friend will get you water or hold your hair back when you need to throw up. If you're Jacks, you know Viv will be nearby, recording your drunken dance to Britney Spears and sharing it with you months later when you least expect it.

Valentine's Day - usually there's food and maybe flowers involved? And probably a Hallmark card..

And if you're like Jacks and Viv, you celebrate both! In this episode, they try something a little different and play one of those obnoxious Valentine's Day games that couples do. (No, not a pervy one!) You know, where you ask each other love questions? Welp, that's what gets attempted in this episode.. get ready for a little Valentine's Day Q&A with Jacks and Viv!

Wine: Viva de los Andes 2017 Cabernet Sauvignon and Play Winery 2017 Merlot Cabernet Franc
Cheese: 365 White Cheddar and Vello Mozzarella

So.. we're bad a lot of things... like, a LOT. BUTTTTT there are some we actually are REALLY good at. In this episode, Jacks and Viv regail us with tales of triumph. If you want tips on how to drunkenly remove makeup, inhale way too many nuggets or hide your disregard of personal hygiene, Jacks is your girl! What's Viv good at?

Well, let us tell you.
She is really good at this.
Yes, it's a Haiku.

Wine: Luna Vineyards 2017 Mille Baci Pino Grigio and Truck 59 Ciderhouse Rose Cider
Cheese: Babybels and Garcia Baquero Iberico

Welp, we kicked 2020 to the curb!!! And here we are, 2 weeks into the new year and.....it's not any better. Hmm.. So with another round of stay at home orders and extensions on state of emergencies, Jacks and Viv are now pros on how to stay somewhat sane and have questionable fun during quarantine. In this episode, they share all the best hacks (tried and true!) and ideas (not great) that will keep you amused and entertained while staying safe at home. And NO, it’s not just drinking wine. Well, maybe.

Wine: Banshee 2018 Cabernet Sauvignon and Callaway Celler Collection Cabernet Sauvignon
Cheese: Whole Foods Provolone and Balderson Smoked Cheddar

2020 is almost done (WOO HOO!) Considering we spent pretty much the entire year in sweat pants and aspiring to be nothing more than a potato, a lot of our goals for this past year flew out the window along with our plans to socialize, travel and put makeup on. So as this dumpster fire of a year concludes, Jacks and Viv share some of their top contenders for New Year’s resolutions for 2021. 

Wine: Darioush 2018 Duel Cab Sauv Shiraz Blend and XOXO Botanical Peach Orange Blossom
Cheese: Greenbank Farms Sharp Cheddar and Queens Castle Wensleydale with Mango and Ginger

"He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake.."

Ahhh.. the jolly fat man in red pajamas… no, we’re not talking about your drunk Uncle Jerry, but none other than Santa himself! In this episode, Jacks and Viv discuss the enigma that is Santa Claus, and share all of our burning questions. From how he enters a home, to his Christmas Eve flight path choice to how he collects elves and whether or not he needs to pay taxes. And seriously, with all the cookies and candy canes, how does he not have diabetes yet? Grab your boozy eggnog and buckle up - this one’s a must-listen!

Wine: Andretti 2018 Chardonnay and Babe Grigio with Bubbles
Cheese; Lactalis Brie de Paris and Benton Brothers 5 Year Village Cheddar

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas..."

It's officially DECEMBER!!! And that means singing along to Michael Bublé's Christmas album, decorating the tree and every available space in your home, and throwing out the horrid scale (calories don't count until January 1st right?). In this episode, Jacks and Viv share their favourite family holiday traditions from reindeer games to DIY martinis (as Jesus intended) and more. So refill your eggnog and rum and tell Santa to hold off until you're done with this holly jolly episode of Jacks and Viv!

Wine: Oyster Bay Sauvignon Blanc and Esquimalt Wine Company Kina-Rouge
Cheese: Tillamook Habanero Jack Cheese and Murgella's Burrata di Puglia

We think we speak for everyone when we say “WTF was wrong with this year?” Well, how much time do you have? Who knew we’d spend this year in Quarantine and spraying and praying the COVID germs away? But, not everything about this global pandemic was Godawful. Stay with us here! For starters, now we can keep far, far away from people we don’t like and revisit pop classics while washing our hands. In this episode, Jacks and Viv reflect on all of the good things that came out of this dumpster fire of a year.

Wine: V. Sattui 2018 Reserve Stock Carsi Vineyard Sauvignon Blanc and Joie Farm Noble Blend
Cheese: Artikaas Smoked Gouda and Kirkland Goat Cheese

It's been 1 year of Jacks and Viv!!!! Here we are, 27 episodes in and with a pandemic going on around us! Crazy! 

Since all of us responsible and kind individuals are wearing masks in public, we have to admit, sometimes it is hard to rely on only our eyes to convey a message. So instances of awkward eye contact have increased tenfold. Have you ever sat in a waiting room and locked eyes with someone seated across from you? What about at the urinal? Eye contact with someone there must be super weird. (Because how would we know...?) In this episode Jacks and Viv explore all the weird times to make eye contact and just how damn awkward it can get for all parties involved..

Wine: Veuve Clicquot Champagne Brut and Frind Estate Winery 2019 Rose
Cheese: Organic Valley Feta and Garcia Baquero Iberico

Remember when you were in your 20’s and if you needed a costume idea you just added the word “slutty” in front of anything and that’s what you would go as? And now if it’s not warm or comfortable, it’s not touching your body. (Break out the onesies!!) Halloween parties used to start at 11PM and now if there’s no charcuterie platter and there’s no guarantee that you’ll be in bed by midnight, it’s not happening. ⁣ ⁣ 

In this episode, Jacks and Viv take a look back at Halloween when they were younger and what this spooky holiday is like now that they’re not so young. So toss away the candy corn (seriously, does anyone like these?) and grab your boo’s (he he he) and enjoy episode #26. Halloween In Your 30’s.

Wine: Darioush 2019 Viognier and Joie Farm 2019 Chic Fille Hagerman Gewürztraminer
Cheese: Boursin garlic and fine herb Goursay cheese and Arla Feta

Jacks is only 25 years old and Viv only weighs 120lbs.
Both.. are... not... lies.
Ok fine. They are. But not by much ok??
Oh Gaawwd.. ok, we're lying by a lot.
This one is all about the big lies that Jacks and Viv tell, from disliking pop culture and pop music to their relationships with guys and alcohol.  So grab a drink to have with this episode and don't let their growing Pinocchio noses push your glass off the table.

Wine: Andretti 2018 Zinfandel and Domaine Bousquet 2018 Organic Malbec
Cheese: Happy Belly Monteray Jack and a delicious cheese that came in a birthday charcuterie platter but Viv threw away the label.

We've said it many times before, and we'll keep saying it... Adulting is HARD. When we were younger, we had full-on meltdowns in a grocery store, we didn't have to "hold it in" until it hurts... we just.. wet our pants. In this episode of Jacks and Viv, we lament about all the things we used to be able to get away with when we were kids, that we just can't anymore as adults. I mean, we could still do them.. but the disapproving glares and unwanted  social media attention is probably not worth it.

Wine: The Holy Snail Sauvignon Blanc and Lake Breeze Pinot Gris

Cheese: Rumiano Family Fontina Cheese and.. well, a delicious white cheese that we can no longer name.

Sometimes, life is just a bit of a bore. Maybe you're buying groceries (because you're an adult, and if you don't do it, you won't have snacks!!!) or maybe you're just stuck following your mother around in a department store. Jacks and Viv share tips and tricks they've collected over the years to make these mundane activities just a little bit more entertaining. Sure, that might mean being drunk AF while cleaning or yelling "MARCO!!!!" in the aisles and really hoping the other person won't leave you hanging because people are staring now. So grab your wine and cheese, practice your accents, punch a buggy and join us for another fun episode of Jacks and Viv!

Wine: Francis Coppola Diamond Collection Claret Cabernet Sauvignon and La Vieille Ferme White Wine
Cheese: Le Gruyère from Switzerland and El Pastor Spanish Valencia Orange Fresh Log Chevre 

What do we want to be when we grow up? In this episode, Jacks and Viv muse over their dream jobs if money (and calories) were no object. Some dream jobs seem normal. Like becoming a wedding planner or a cooking show host! Some jobs... not so much. Think professional paper folder. Yes, for reals. And while Jacks and Viv dream of being ladies of leisures, in reality, they're busting their asses trying to make it in this crazy world. Maybe one day..... *sigh* a girl can dream.. of eating wayyyy too many hotdogs and getting paid money to do it.⁣⁣

Wine: Meiomi 2017  Pinot Noir and XOXO Rosé
Cheese: Spring Koe Gouda Creamy Red Wax and Zanelli Italian Provolone

We're baaaaack! With all this time that Jacks and Viv has had during quarantine, you know they've gone down a heck of a lot more rabbit holes! What kind of time suck things have they been up to? Well.. there's pinkity-drinkity pranks and Breaking Amish bingo... and just so much more! Join us for Part 2 of Rabbit Holes and buckle up for a whole new round of weird.

Wine: 2016 Neverland Cabernet Sauvignon from Santa Barbara County and Backpack Wine Cheeky Rose 

Cheese: Kerrygold Kilaree Cheddar and El Pastor Spanish 6 month aged Iberico

VOTE JACQUELINE MURCHISON AND VIVIAN CHAN FOR PTA PRESIDENT AND VICE-PRESIDENT!!!

Seriously though, can you picture it? We'd have posters up around the school, we're passing out cupcakes that are iced in campaign colours (yes, we'll have a gluten-free option) and you know we're sending your kids home to you with "VOTE FOR JACKS AND VIV!" flyers.

Neither of us are parents at the moment, and have no plans to be one any time soon... but we know what kind we want to be when we "grow up"! In this episode, Jacks and Viv talk about what kind of parents they hope to become - and yes, wine o' clock plays a leading role (as it always should). Will one of us be a Tiger Mom? Who plans on embarrassing their kids with dad jokes (or is it mom jokes?) Find out in Episode #19. The Parents We Want To Be.

Wine: Honig Vineyard & Winery 2019 Sauvingon Blanc and  Villa Teresa Prosecco

Cheese: Greenbank Farms Jalapeno Jack and Kirkland Double Creamed Brie

Happy Birthday Can-eh?-da and Amurrrrica!

And as per tradition, when there's a birthday.... there's DRINKS! Oh right, And gifts! From Jacks, you get a whole freedom dollar and from Viv, you get Justin Trudeau speaking moistly! As a bonus gift, (because we love you!), we're gifting you another podcast episode! We're talking about all the weird gifts that we've ever given or received. We're not talking about a shirt in the wrong size.. we're talking sex toys and rings (which we'd love to get nowww.... but not when we're 14!) So raise your spicy Caesars and your Bud Lights.. cheers to Episode 18 - The Weirdest Gifts We've Given/Received!

Wine: De Chanceny Cremant De Loire Rose and Osake Junmai Nama Sake
Cheese: Whole Foods Swiss and J.L. Kraft Cheddar (wow... we went with Whole Foods and Kraft.. seriously, any creameries out there that can help 2 sisters out?!)

Father's Day is just around the corner, so we're taking this episode to talk about our dads! They've given us lots of random advice and life hacks over the years, from Pop Murch's calorie counting logic to Papa Chan's countdowns to very distant milestones, we're sharing their random tips and tidbits with you! What do you do if your kid needs a hair cut? Or worse, what do you do if your kid chops off her own hair? What tricks do you pull to get your kid to talk or eat? Do Cheetos really taste better stale? Join us in a celebratory podcast where we toast to our fathers - and hey now we're actually drinking legally!

Wine: House Wine Rose and Therapy Wines 2018 Ego
Cheese: Smoky Park Smoked Gouda and Cheese strings

If you're like Jacks and Viv, you've probably been stuck at home for much longer than you had wanted/planned for. Perhaps you're at home spending almost ALL your time with your significant other (and thinking "if we can get through this, we can get through anything!) or you're single and REALLY ready to mingle (and can't wait for COVID-19 to go F- itself so you can mingle IRL) Whichever it may be, know that you are not alone. Jackie has resorted to online dating from home, not sure how exactly that will work for her and matching with some questionable characters. Viv is quarantining with her boyfriend and hoping to keep the romance alive and burning without burning her kitchen down. Check out the latest episode of Jacks and Viv - it goes great with dinner delivery or quarantine snacks!

Wine: Line 39 2018 Sauvignon Blanc and Gold Hill 2016 Chardonnay
Cheese: Organic Valley Sharp Cheddar and Parmissimo Parmigiano Reggiano

We have a secret. While we pretend to be well-adjusted adults, there are (a lot of!) things that we never learned.. or did we just black out and not pay attention when it was being taught? Probably the latter. Anyways, now here we are, the (semi) self-sufficient grown ups you see today. In this episode, Jacks and Viv confess to some of their biggest knowledge gaps, hoping you're in the same boat. Because it's ok to not know how to change a tire right? And is knowing how to sew a rice bag frog, really a skill we need as an adult???

Wine: Russian River Valley 2016 La Crema Pinot Noir and Outlaw 2016 Chardonnay
Cheese: Whole Foods 365 Sharp Cheddar and Agropur Normandie Double Creme Brie

Damn kids with their fidget spinners and TikTok videos!! They'll never know what life was like before smart phones and google maps. In this episode, Jacks and Viv lament over how good today's youth have it, and talk about all the hardships us millennials have had to endure growing up that they'll never need to experience. 3 Words: Dial Up Internet. So buckle up friends, because we're about to throw down some serious #firstworldproblems. (And when we say buckle up, we mean grab your cozy arm chair and cover your buckling knees with a wool blanket, because yes, we're going to sound soooo old in this episode.)

Wine:  Josh Cellars 2018 Chardonnay and Toso Estate 2018 Malbec

Cheese: Rumiano Jalapeno Jack and Alexis de Portneuf Brie

It's Jacks and Viv Episode 13 aka the Baker's Dozen episode! (And that's about how many donuts Viv has been consuming during this time) Just like everyone else, we are all stuck at home in quarantine and going through our quarantine snacks like there's no tomorrow and our summer beach bodies are a far distant memory. In this episode, Jacks and Viv give an update from their couches and regale us with tales of how they've adjusted to their stay-at-home orders and their new 'normals'. Jacks has been adapting to a new routine and dealing with unwanted house guests while Viv can't stop eating and has PTSD from cutting her SO's hair. Life is rough and it's a trying time for all, so grab a glass of wine (or a Quarantini!!) and let Jacks and Viv entertain you.. because besides baking bread and doing puzzles, what else could you possibly be doing?

Wine: 2018 Blondie Sauvignon Blanc by Dry Creek Valley and  Emotive beverages Chill Out White Wine

Cheese: Gossner Foods Muenster and Black Diamond Cheese String (it's the marble one so it's fancier!)

We've all been there. 

You know... gone down the rabbit hole like Alice in Wonderland?

Except, there's no tea party and no rabbits. Instead of just hunting for a quick and easy blueberry muffin recipe, you've now spent into hours scrolling through the endless Buzzfeed playlist. It's now verryyyy late, no muffins have been made and you have work in the early morning but... just... one.. more... video.... ooh! Is that a new Carpool Karaoke video? Thanks, James Corden. Thanks a lot. And now with all of us staying at home and being a little bored, hours of going down the internet rabbit hole has turned into days. Where am I? What day is it? Who cares! There's a new Dr. Pimple Popper video!!!! *click*

Jacks and Viv get together to confess their most beloved, and let's be real, embarrassing internet rabbit holes. One of us is OBSESSED with Dr. Phil while the other can't stop watching Baby Panda Sneezing. Tune in to find out who's who in this latest episode!

Wine: Kendall-Jackson Vintner’s Reserve 2017 Cabernet Sauvignon and Garland Crest 2018 Shiraz
Cheese: DaneKo creamy Havart and Kirkland Goat cheese (Seriously, yay Costco!)

Hindsight is 20/20 right? Jacks and Viv are getting old and are now full of regrets. So in this episode, they're reflecting on their past (gulp!) and pulling a Cher - getting all "if I could turrrrn back ttiiiiimmme..." From food (is it bad that McDonald's is comfort food?) to fashion (jelly shoes and butterfly clips WILL make a come back!!)... Jacks and Viv discuss all the advice they wish they could have given to their younger selves.

Wine: Angels & Cowboys 2018 Sonoma County Rose and Swurve Rose Sparkling Sangria
Cheese: Merlot Bellavitano cheddar-parmesan and Woolwich fig and balsamic goat cheese

Did you catch the season finale of The Bachelor? (If not, you missed out on reality television GOLD!) Bachelor Peter's mom, Barb (who turned out to be the true MVP of this crappy season), called out Madison for showing up 3 hours late to meet them, not apologizing for keeping them waiting and then admitting to not being fully in love with their son. Uh... RUDE!

Well, we want to help you avoid being a Madison and become a real winner, so in this episode of Jacks and Viv: Unqualified, we're sharing with you all our tips and tricks on how to impress the parents. You've met him, you've trapped him and now he's bringing you home to meet the fam (OMG - a hometown date!) Have no fear - Jacks and Viv are here! We'll make sure you not only impress the hell out of them, but that they immediately join #TeamYou! and begggggg him to give you the final rose. 

Wine: Presto Lambrusco sparkling red Italian wine (Woot! Wine in a can!) and Jacob’s Creek Moscato
Cheese: Woolwich Dairy Inc. Triple Creme Goat Brie and Balderson’s Smoked Cheddar

We already told you we're unqualified to be giving any advice, yet we keep getting asked dating questions.. as if we're experts. So.. we figured, let's jump on this train with a Dating Series and our first stop is an "Ask Us Anything" episode! We crowdsourced questions from our listeners and had our GBF, JJ, play Anderson Cooper and ask us. So if you've ever wondered if we'd rather be dumped by being ghosted or via a post-it note, best pick-up lines or what weird first dates we've been on, then you know what to do - grab a glass of wine and join us for another episode of Jacks and Viv!

Wine: Perle d’Aurore Rose by Louis Bouillot from Cremant de Bourgogne

Cheese: Celebrity beet and chive goat cheese

Jacks and Viv are in the same house!!!! And in this episode, not only are we sharing a bottle of wine and our cheese, we're sharing our stories and experiences about all the things that we no longer have time for. We're getting older, we're getting impatient, and sometimes, we just want to go full 'Karen' and ask for the manager. From bad customer service, or worse, NO customer service to washing dishes and washing our hair, we discuss (or maybe it's complain about) it alllllll. So raise a glass, kick up your feet and relax... since you're not going anywhere and dealing with line-ups. Cheers to all of us who are turning into this generation's 'Karen' and may you all get your meals and groceries delivered.

Wine: Trapiche Broquel 2017 Malbec 

Cheese: Yellow Door Creamery Monteau Alpine semi-soft ripened cheese and El Pastor Spanish red wine soaked goat cheese (thanks to our favorite Costco cheese flight!)

Crying your face off.  A spur of the moment haircut. Revenge body. Naming bait after your ex. Exercise (did somebody say extra fries?) Whatever it is that helps you get over your ex after a breakup.

Because breaking up is already hard to go through, we want to make sure you don't go through it alone. We got you! And we got all the do's.. and probably a lot more don'ts.. that you should/shouldn't do when you break up with someone. We're sharing all the things we've done to help us get over an ex.  We promise, no exes were harmed during this podcast, but we don't promise they weren't outside of this podcast either.

Wine: Frog's Leap 2018 Sauvignon Blanc and Cedar Creek 2016 Merlot

Cheese: Chas and Co. Challerhocker Raw Milk Cheese and Balderson 2 Year Aged White Cheddar

Apparently the  "hair tie pants expander" life hack we shared in Episode 1 was life changing for some listeners. (Guess we're all hitting up those AYCE sushi joints!) So we're back! And after a fun filled trip to LA for Disneyland, we were armed with expensive souvenirs, slight tan lines and more life hacks to share with you.

In Episode #3, we share our tips and tricks that get us through the struggles of daily adult life - from how to score free food and drinks to the various uses for floss. Have annoying kids nearby? We'll help you get rid of them! Nervous about a date? We'll tell you what we do! Want to make millions and get sponsorship deals recording a podcast? Uh..... we're working on it...

Wine: Cannonball 2017 Cabernet Sauvignon
Cheese: Wellspring Creamery Goat Milk Brie and Kirkland Goat Cheese from good ole Costco 

Like early 2000's Usher once sang "These are my confessions.." 

Ever had things you've been holding onto over the years that are just eating you up and the only way you can move on is to share it with someone close to you that you trust? Or in our case, why not share it with all of you? Time to grab the wine and get some things off our chest because it turns out we're not exactly the angels that we'd like you to perceive us as... From joy rides to petty theft, we air our dirty laundry on Episode 2! 

Wine: Cupcake 2017 Chardonnay and a South African Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot Blend

Cheese: Drunken Goat Cheese and Parmigiano Reggiano 

Adulting: (noun) the practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks. Well crap.  Nobody told us that adulting was going to be this difficult. This week Jacks and Viv discuss all the struggles about being an adult.  From packing on the pounds to wearing super comfortable underwear, becoming a responsible dog/human parent or just turning into that cranky old lady who side eyes "hoodlums" - we discuss it all! And of course, we do it all over cheese and alcohol. Because being an adult means enjoying the finer things in life, or really just eating whatever's in our fridge and drinking whenever we want to. 

Wine: Sonoma Coast Pinot Noir and Nude Vodka (reppin' our homes through our alcohol choices) 

Cheese: Organic Goat Cheese from Whole Foods Market and Mild Cheddar from Costco (hey - it's our first episode. We're on a budget.) 

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