Jes Live.
By Jes Live.
Jes Live.Dec 05, 2018
Episode 15: Being a Mom
What Motherhood has Taught Me.
- I am going to mess up and that's ok.
- I don't know everything and that's ok.
- I need help and that's okay.
Being a mother is the most rewarding and overwhelming titles you can hold. I wanted to share some of the things that I have learned over the past 4 years with you all for someone who may need it. I am new to this but believe in such a short time I have learned the importance of asking for help, being present in the moment and not stressing over things. I was one of those mom's who that I had to do everything on my own but I quickly became stressed out so I had to learn to lean more on other people and be willing to ask for help because most people don't know you need help unless you say something. I am forever evolving as a mother but I just wanted to share what I have gone through that taught me a very valuable lesson.
Episode 14: Becoming a Mom
Episode 13: The Effect Social Media Has on Your Life
Episode 12: Moving Past Fear
Are you afraid of something? Not the known like water, heights or dogs. I am talking about fear of the unknown. Fear of going after what you want in life. Fear of starting that business because you may fail. Fear of leaving that toxic relationship because no matter how bad it is, at least it's known and predictable. Fear of applying for that job you really want. Well I know that fear all too well. I have let the fear of the unknown crapple me so much in life that I am fed up with fear. I am tired of not trusting or believing in myself to see something through because I might fell. Hell what is failure anyway. In 2019 I am putting fear behind me and going for everything I want in life unapologetically because I owe it to myself. It is my home that this episode inspires you as well to no longer live in fear and make a conscious effort everyday to go after the things that you want in life and face fear head on.
Also 2 podcast that I want to highlight this week are from 2 of my college friends. Ms. LaQuisha Nelson: Black Girl Abroad and Ms. Derreka Shelton with Black Rose Educators #TeachersHappyHour. Head over and check them out as well. They have some excellent content. Ms. Nelson discusses her experience with living abroad and Ms. Shelton looks to assist new and seasoned teachers with navigating their roles as advocates for the kids.
Episode 11: Why is Sexual Abuse and Rape are being normalized?
This week we are discussing the topic of trending topic of Sexual Abuse and rape allegations that have been in the headlines of news and social media to try to understand why feel that they can or deserve to assault other people. Three of the headlines I will be discussing is the incident where the the 29 year old woman in vegetative state since she was 3 years old gave birth in December 2018, The backlash from the series called Surviving R. Kelly and the new incident where Jasmine Eiland was raped in the night club in Atlanta Opera. What goes on in the mind of a predator and how to deal and heal from the trauma of sexual abuse.
Instagram page: @JesLivePodcast
Resources for victims of sexual abuse:
https://www.rainn.org/national-resources-sexual-assault-survivors-and-their-loved-ones
Episode 10: Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!! I just wanted to create a quick podcast to check in with my Jes Liv Family. I haven’t forgot about you all, there has just been a lot going on and a lot in the works. It is important to be that I am speaking on topics that are prevalent to what’s going on and over the past few weeks between the holidays, me being sick and deciding I needed some me time to rest and just be, I hadn’t had time to get around to recording a podcast. Jes being real, lol. But no seriously, I have been brainstorming on what I want to do for the new year and I am working on creating a series and inviting guest on to speak about those topics for each specific topic. I have been procrastinating because it requires me to get out of my comfort zone and just ask, I am afraid they will say no, even though I know they probably won’t, I know what you’re thinking, that’s crazy right… But it’s my truth and one of my flaws I am working through. So I have 3 series that I am looking into working on 1) Health & Wellness- Speaking on the importance of taking care of your overall physical, mental and spiritual self. 2) What About Your Friends- speaking on the importance of having strong people in your corner and also inviting my 3 besties on to speak on the evolution of our friendships and what they have going on.3) Boss Women- A discussion on women who are doing their thing in their business. What inspired them to do and I they keep going). So even though I am delayed with posting a podcast, I am still working behind the scene to provide you all with great content to you all. I have also created a Linktree, Youtube Channel and Instagram account specifically for my podcast so make sure you all subscribe. Thanks for all the love and support, I truly appreciate it.
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/jeslivepodcast
Instagram: @jeslivpodcast
Episode 8: Forgive and let it go!
You don’t want to go into the New Year with baggage from the past. Carrying the weight of holding on to a grudge, being angry, upset or bitter from things that happened in the past will do you more harm than good. Holding onto the Should’ves, Would’ves, and Could’ves , and What If’s of life will literally drive you crazy and stunt your growth. Thinking of everything you could’ve done. As you replay in your mind every detail you could’ve changed, every word you should’ve said, every action you may have done if you would’ve known “xyz.” Just let it go and free yourself of that burden. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, but it is important to remember that as you press forward with your new goals.
How do you work on forgiving yourself and others?
• First you have to acknowledge the pain of the situation. Some of us are so in denial of things and suppress situation that we don’t want to even deal with forgiveness because the situation is too raw and painful to deal with.
• Own your emotions. Rather the situation made you angry, upset, made or hurt. You need to acknowledge those emotions in order to be able to properly deal with them,
• Release the expectations you have of righting the wrong that was done to you. It happened, nothing you can do will change what took place, and all you can do is release yourself for holding onto the getting justice….. I heard one of n “The Oprah Winfrey speak on forgiveness. She stated that, Forgiveness is letting go so that the past does not hold you prisoner.” She noted that, Forgiveness is giving up hope that the past could have been any different.
• Be mindful of your boundaries so that the situation does not occur again. You cannot control what a person will do to you but you can control your thoughts and action so whether it’s with a significant other, family or yourself. You have to let it be known that I will never allow myself to be put in this situation again because I love myself too much.
• Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Is just simply freeing yourself from being bound by the thought of what happened.
• Show kindness and compassion. We are not perfect, give yourself a break for making a mistake and give others a break as well. Yes some people intentionally do things to you, but half of the time, they don’t know any better. They have not learned how to deal with their feelings so they lash out and hurt others because they are hurt. We all are unpacking or own things from the past and learning how to deal with life so have more compassion and patient with people.
These tools will help you release the hurt and move forward into the new year being a new and better version of yourself by not letting what happened to you define you but build you into your greatness, knowing that everything that has happened to you, the good bad and ugly has shaped and molded you into the person that you are today.
Connect with me on social media:
Instagram at @ms_moniek
Facebook: Jessica Pates
Please like, comment and rate my podcast to help me grow the Jes Live. Podcast by allowing people to easily find it. Thanks
Episode 9: 2018 Wrap Up & Setting 2019 Intentions
Can you believe that 2018 is almost over? Only a couple of days left until the New Year is upon us. What did you accomplish in 2018, are their things that you are still working on from 2018 or let fall by the wayside? How can you better prepare to see complete your goals for 2019.
This week I will give a quick wrap up on the things that I accomplished and let slip in 2018 and what intentions I have already started to work on for 2019 (which I am both excited and anxious about) and will see them through. We will also discuss some barriers that people typically run into when setting goals, or what I have now replaced with the word “intentions,” and also discuss 4 simple tools that will help you follow through on your intentions that you set out.
Thank you Jes Live listeners for coming along on this journey with me. As I have discussed previously, this was something that I talked about for a while but was living in fear and doubt. In September after much hesitation and contemplation, I decided to go for it and man has it been an exciting and learning experience for me. It is my intentions to grow my podcast in so many ways in 2019 by expanding my podcast to invite guest, co-host to the show and add a live video recording podcast as well as so much more. I hope that you continue along this journey with me and I hope that I have enlightened you in some way shape form or fashion to get out of your own way and Jes Live.
Episode 7: Jes Do It!
1. Start my writing down what you want to do. You don't have to know specifically what you want to do, but get those big thoughts out of your head so you can actually see what you're thinking about. Journal it, create a vision board or write some notes in your phone.
2. Start researching what it will take to accomplish your goals. Talk to someone whose doing what you want to do. Read a book, Google or YouTube it.
3. Surround yourself around positive people who are doing positive things and have a positive mindset and who will hold you accountable when they see you slipping or wanting to give up on your dreams.
4. Stay positive. It's so easy to self doubt yourself or think about everything that could go wrong. When you feel that you are beating yourself up, combat those thoughts with positive affirmations, listen to motivational speakers (they have a variety of them on YouTube). If you really want to change you have to be willing to believe in yourself more than anything.
5. Put in the work. A lot of us say that we want to be great or we want to do something different, start a business, lose weight or whatever but we are not willing stay committed. When the road gets tough, you heat a speed bump or a pothole on your road to chasing your dream you have to keep going. It that takes reevaluating things, taking a different route, or whatever it maybe. Figure it out and keep going.
6. Finish what you've started. We build our self confidence when we see things though. Often time we set out to accomplish goal but stop when it gets hard. That leads us to second doubt ourselves because we never see anything through. Be committed to finishing what you started. Don't stop until you start to see the things you've dreamed about.
Episode 6: Depression & Anxiety: The importance of mental health awareness
Ways to Deal with Depression and Anxiety
1.Talk to someone- Rather it’s a family, friend or love one, it is imperative that you reach out to someone.
2. Medication and Journaling- Studies have shown that 30-minute mindfulness meditation sessions are better than drugs or counseling alone for depression. Journaling also allows you to get those thoughts out of your head and puts them somewhere else.
3. Change your environment- Go outside and go for a walk. Or sit on the porch or patio. Go to the park and play with your kids. Let that sunlight hit your face. Do something that is going to change your current mood and get you focused on something else outside of your thoughts.
4. Exercise- Allows you to relieve built up stress and tension. Consult with your physician first before you start doing rigorous activities.
5. Speak to a therapist. There is nothing wrong with going to see someone to discuss the issues that you are having.
Episode 5: Thanksliving
From being alive, having a roof over your head to your family and friends that you get to spend this holiday with.
Start the morning off by making a list of 5-10 things that you are grateful for. Then spend the next 5 minutes sending out individual text to those you you may not be around for the holidays and tell them why you are grateful for them being in your life. It can be short and simple. An example could be, "Good morning mom, I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for always being there for me when I need you. Hope you have a great day. Love you." Tell the ones you are around on Thanksgiving why you are grateful for them. No group text message, sending individual text add a personal touch especially when you tell them what you are specifically grate for.
Be present in the moment, with the holidays it can be hectic but enjoy the chaos that's going on and on allow it to make you upset or irritated.
For those if you all you have loss a loved one an the holidays are a difficult time for you, I want to encourage to get out of the house and enjoys the family and friends around you and when you feel yourself getting down and sad change your setting, call someone and go do something that can take your mind off of it even if it's just for a little while.
If you have to work for the holidays or can't get to your family for whatever reason. Reach out to somone close to you,, go catch the local parade or volunteer passing out food. Or even make small gift bags for the homeless and passed them out on the corners. If doesn't have to be costly just by some sandwich meat, bread, brown paper bags and a case bottle water. Make the sandwiches, and put them in the bag and pass them out as you drive around. You can even buy some $1 gloves or cozy socks and at that to the bag.
Whatever you do just be thankful for what you have and those around you and spend the take in a grateful spirit.
Enjoy the time you have with the ones you love because tomorrow is not promised and be blessed ♥️♥️
Episode 4: Learning How to \u000AEffectively Communicate
Episode 3 Ridding Yourself of Negative Self-Talk
Episode 2:Self Care
24 Days of Self Care Challenge link
www.aniacakes.com/2017/08/12/31-day-self-care-challenge/