Two Jons Don't Make a Right
By Jon Daly
Two Jons Don't Make a Right May 03, 2022
That's That Me Sklarspresso
Double Jons, Double Sklars, forming like Voltron with the Fartvan as the head! Is it a double match made in Double Heaven or double Hell!? The hilarious Sklar Brothers hop in the Fartvan for a sizzling drive around Hollywood. Randy and Jason crank it up to 10 and keep the Fartvan rocking from start to finish. Mile after mile, they crack up the Jons, who both simply can't get Kenough! With the Sklars you can't turn wrong, and with the Jons you cant turn right!
Glazin' WeHo w/ Mike Glazer
The very funny stand-up Mike Glazer hops in the Fartvan to evangelize West Hollywood with The Jons, and man, I think I'm convinced. I've never heard anyone truly enjoy WeHo, unapologetically, this much. I lived there myself, I had a hard time! Mike's clearly thrivin' and I'm truly jealous. They should pay him for this podcast!
2 Jons 1 Ron (Funches)
Buskin' with Brian Huskey
The voice you know by heart, Brian Huskey hops in the van and the world itself begins to unravel around it. Chaos in the streets, mishaps during the coffee run, all the while attempting to outrun the long shadow of IBS. Huskey's voice is so prolific, It's hard not to feel at home listening to him chop it up with the Jons. Kick your feet up and enjoy some AAA level pipes.
Steven McDonald (Redd Kross, Melvins, Tenacious D) Takes The Wheel
Redd Kross and Current Melvins’ Steven McDonald is a foundational part of LA's punk scene, and a brilliant songwriter and guitar player. Redd Cross’s new Double Album, “Self-Titled Album” kicks ass, and Steven was generous enough to give The Jons an early listen. The album soars to heights untold. Held together with harmonies Steven and his brother Jeff McDonald blend together so solidly it allows the band to explore the entire matrix of rock music and yet, remain Redd Cross. The album has many twists and turns, not unlike the twists and literal turns this episode of Two Jons Takes. Like no other episode before it: it contains driver-swaps, spontaneous hitchhiker pickups, and Steven eventually taking the wheel of the FARTVAN(!) and yet it is all held together with a beautiful tapestry of lefts, and no rights. Truly a groundbreaking episode.
The CHAKI FUNK WIZARD Hollywood Forever Cemetery Walking Tour Episode
Two Jons CLASSIX! John Gemberling
Another installment of Two Jons CLASSIX!
Comedic genius and flaw focusser John Gemberling joins the Jons for a no-rights, all lefts drive and is a bigtime Ned Nitpicker, challenging the Jons' grasp of their one sacred rule at every curve! The Jons stand their ground, but are audibly shaken (not stirred)! And the rest, as we say Mr. Bond, is Two Jons history and will forever be canon to the lore.
We Need to Talk About Kevin Seccia
An extremely funny Jersey roughneck, Kevin Seccia is thrilled to hang on his favorite podcast, and it shows! The Jons are so emboldened by Kevin's powerful vibes that they... and I can't believe I'm saying this... actually dip into North Hollywood. The stories are gripping this episode, and what's even better: they NAME NAMES. Extremely famous people be cautioned; you may just be put on full-blown-blast in the Fartvan this week. You've been warned...
Two Jons Meet Joe Wong
2 Jons, A Jane, and A FedEx Hub
The fabulously accomplished Jane Marie hops in the van with an agenda folks. Never before have we seen such wanton chutzpah from a guest, and the Jons are just eating it up. Watch in wonder as our Jons are put to actual work, double and triple tasking full-blown missions. All the while dishing guests, fetching quests, and turning lefts.
Ben There, Done Rodgers: Two Jons with Ben Rodgers
Two Jons, one Zach Cregger
Nick Krollin’ Around With 2 Jons
Hollywood Todd Barry
Picture this: It's the rainiest day in LA for the last 20 years. The Jons are behind the wheel of the Fartvan. They have a full tank of gas and as good as it gets guest Mr. Todd Barry.They stop at the famous "the Grove" and walk around in search of margaritas, only to settle (happily!) for some Arnold Palmers. Todd razzes the Two Jons and is very characteristically acerbic. Todd is staying at Hollywood and Vine, where she broke my little bottle of... Love Potion number 9. How fitting that the guy needed the love potion no. 9 to get hard, and now the Hollywood/Vine area is littered with dick pill stores. And piss. Quite a witches brew! A lot like this episode, which has been known to "aid performance". And again we didn't and don't turn right.
Jon, Jon, Jon(ah Ray), and Alex Winter
Nick Wiger is not LEFT out
2 Jons and a Jessy (Hodges)
Hamm in the Van
Delvin' the 'Dena with Seth Morris
Night Crawlin' with Emily Altman
Glendale to Los Feliz with Gil Ozeri
The Deep East with Beck Bennett
Browsin' The Bank with Rob Zabrecky
The multi-cross-disciplined talent Rob Zabrecky joins the Jons for a jaunt around Burbank AND BEYOND. Rob's from The Bank, so he knows the spots, the history and most importantly, the goss. It's a different kind of episode, where the Jons are only driving the Fartvan in an academic sense. When you have someone as connected to the city as Rob, it's clear who's actually driving in the truest sense, if not literal.
Fartvans West (LA) with Megan Amram
The legendarily hilarious Megan Amram joins the Jons for a leap into the the unknown: West LA - a part of the city you simply have no reason to visit if you don't have health insurance. Megan's resume would overburden the "episode description" field I'm typing in, but I WILL SAY she's responsible for the "Today was the day Donald Trump finally became president" meme you will likely see in your Twitter timeline until the site finally dies. I'm not 100% on the "Wagons West" reference in the title but if you've read this far, now you know.
Two Jons Classix: Aparna Nancherla
In honor of out dear friend Aparna's book release, we're releasing a re-release of our famous episode "Two Jons Does Pasadena with Aparna Nancherla". Buy "Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome" at your local bookstore for yourself and as gifts for friends. Buy them up until there's none left. Or right.
"Two Jons Do Run the Light" with Adam Scott
The brilliant and L.A.-Based Adam Scott hops innie the FARTVAN to drive the wrong way down some one-ways in service of left-turning. Now with 50% more runtime, you'll Party Down even harder with this Severance Starrer, with the convo cutting straight to the bone on the hard-hitting issues of the day: Where are we? (driving)? Who's seen which Broadway plays? Does Daly love the Red Hot Chili Peppers TOO much? What was it like for Adam to be in (PROJECT). This Adult Swim Golf Classic reunion listens like butter. Sop it up with your ear-bread until there's none left, and we'll continue to only turn that way!
Beatin' the Heat with Max Silvestri
The heinously funny Max Silvestri dons his invaluable HEAT(1995) t-shirt as he joins the Jons for a couple laps around East LA. Not coincidentally, we make a pitstop at the Police Museum in Highland Park to find out once and for all: did a real bank robbery inspire the movie, or did the movie inspire an real bank robbery? The answer may surprise you!
Two Jons Murder Mitchtery w/Mike Mitchell
2 Vons Don't Make a Ralphs with Mary Elizabeth Ellis
Jon, Jon, Joe Mande and Noah Garfinkel: Drivin' and Strikin'
Potentially the most action packed episode yet, Joe Mande and Noah Garfinkel are two of the funniest writers working, or rather, not working (because of the WGA strike). There's never been more numerous, or intense left turns than in today's episode. Figurative, literal, paranormal... the pivots are frankly shocking. And it's all done so effortlessly, until violence breaks out in the Fartvan. Listen, learn, and turn left. Support writers and support the strike, it affects all of us!
2 Jons Uber Pool with Kristen Schaal and Nick Thorburn
Jons/Wain with David Wain
Magnolia with Carl Tart
…and the Two Jons are Ridin’ through The Valley, and the Good Girls are Home with Carl Tart. You knew it had to be comin’, but the Two(2) Jons finally brave the San Fernando Valley with the indomitable, prolific, Carl Tart. From the West Burbank Popeyes, to Keys on Van Nuys, the Valley represents a lot of different vibes to a lot of different people. Annexed in 1915, the San Fernando Valley represents the Louisiana Purchase of Los Angeles history. It doubled the size of the city and raised Los Angeles to the level of a city-state possessed of its own agricultural region. You’re gonna find out just how much history our Jons have out here in the wild north-west of Los Angeles proper: sites, locations, triggering memories of friends' anecdotes. This episode is an onion, layers upon layers of earned wisdom and as always, a sheer void of right turns.
Two Jons does Pasadena with Aparna Nancherla
The lovely and talented Aparna Nancherla joins the Jons on an excursion to Pasadena. Home of Van Halen, Jackie Robinson, and Sirhan Sirhan. How will they navigate this old-money suburb (which is the headquarters of America's aerospace industry) without the ability to turn right? Is it possible they've bitten off more than they can chew? Will they be disappeared by the Pasadena Police Department like so many interlopers before them? One thing's for certain, right turns remain OFF the table. In this sea of Teslas, who's to say exactly how dangerous that is? Be amazed at the wildlife they encounter, confounded by the grumpiness of the local street vendors, and bring your $25 entry fee for the flea market where I saw Logan Paul once. Pasadena is truly another world for our Jons; the textures are alien and the tension is extreme. It is, after all, personified by the Big Lebowski himself in the eponymous film.
Two Jons Do Make a Night with Jason Mantzoukas
The Jons are back with the brilliant Jason Mantzoukas, who made the ingenious suggestion that we pick him up for the podcast AFTER DARK! That's right cool cats, this Two Jons takes place during the SEXY NIGHTTIME. LA at night is like jazz. The traffic has it's own rhythm, flowing like a trumpet line against the thrumming bass buzz of humans in clubs and bars, making out, wearing sexy outfits, day trading and farting. Jason and The Jons bebop up to the Sunset Strip, the piano heats up into a blistering solo, many neon signs are visible, cutting lines in Tall Jon's vision as he plays the FARTVAN like a sax, moving in and out of traffic like Coltrane at Newport '67, reinventing sound with his eyes closed, the Jons make a rhythmic left at Doheny and end up highhattin' it to Larchmont of all places. But that's where jazz can take you... All places. This episode is pure night, and you can feel it. Hard and soft like the wind. Like when you pass the La Brea Tar Pits and get a whiff of the tar. Or is it just the asphault the Jons are turning left on, still hot from the day? The podcast isn't over till we turn right. Right Jon? Cymbals crash....
3 JONS DO MAKE A RIGHT? with Jon Gabrus
Kurt Braunohler Takes the Jons to Jersey Mike's
Jersey Mike's, anyone? This week the Jons are joined by the hilarious Kurt Braunohler for another drive of lefts. Kurt insists the Jons stop at Jersey Mike's and the ever-hungry Jons are more than happy to Hoag it up with Kurt. God Bless the good people at Jersey Mike's for helping us and being cool with us recording in their location (we did not ask). The Jons and Kurt all dig into their hoagies. Conscious of their mouth sounds, the trio hovers in the podcast "Goldilocks zone". Not too hot, not too cold, but juuuuuuuuust right... which is a direction we'd never turn!
Johnny Pemberton X No Rights Crew
Jon and Jon are back with another guest named John. Ny. Johnny Pemberton, actor comedian and fan of the popular band Korn. Jon Daly and Johnny found themselves in Africa recently and went on Safari together, seeing animals, having their minds blown, and proving that 2 male friends can go on vacation together and get to know each other better. Tall Jon crushes the driving in this episode, turning ONLY left. He's gotten so good he could probably do it sightless, but for now we'll settle for doing it rightless!
Sarah Silverman Is All We Have Lefts
Jon and Jon journey into the gritty Hollywood Flats with their guest, the hilarious Sarah Silverman. The enormous line for Funko Pops is seen once again. What fascination do people have with these? Are they as cool as the people the gang talks to think they are? The Jons and Sarah don't really get into it. Instead they stop at an abandoned McDonalds, followed by a functioning McDonalds, ordering typical fare. Sarah a small fries, Jon D a Diet Coke and an apple pie. Nothing for Tall Jon, though he paid for it all like a gentleman. The Fart Van once again provides perfect studio quality sound for you to enjoy. It took a while to get right, but we just take lefts!
John Gemberliing Fights For Rights
Essential Baby Beebo and Newly Svelte Veinman John Gemberling joins the Jons for a leftless tour of the Los Feliz hills, and all the way to Burbank. They see a disappointing blimp (Pics on 'Gram) , a deeply unhealthy coyote (P.O.G.) and almost all of what Mr. Gemberling terms "Our Disgusting City" - Los Angeles. We talk about life, performance, John's hardscrabble Upper East Side upbringing, and we even take a new sort of right turn* with a left-leaning approach that ends up being an even truer left. For The Jons it was a delight! For John Gemberling? A Rite of Passage... Which we'd never take !!!
Brendon Walsh Joins Jons
Jon and Jon are joined by hilarious standup and World Record Podcast cohost Brendon Walsh to chop it up on another lovely leftless drive that remains drama free... Until a Hollywood garbage man goes apeshit and puts the whole crew in danger. Jon gets angry, but Jon stays cool behind the wheel, stalking the garbageman with the impotent rage of Michael Douglas in Falling Down, only to do nothing about it because of the machine of power he felt churning behind it, like Michael Douglas in The Game. He looked a mid-podcast road rage confrontation right in the face and said "that'll do, pig." Was he wrong? Some would say there is no right, which is our whole thing, baby!
Never Turning Right Around Town with Paul Scheer
Paul Scheer joins the Jons on another Right-free driving-spree around East L.A. and thereabouts. Driving around with the Jons can be intense, but Paul holds his own, matching the Jons quip for quip as they find some choice vanity plates, break the law (wrong way on a one way) to avoid turning right, and finally, throw their full-throated support to the elites. If you wanted to judge us, you’d be well within your rights… but we don’t make those! Enjoy the episode!
Molly Lambert of HeidiWorld podcast fame!
2 Jons are back with the brilliant LA Native Molly Lambert from the amazing, sleazy Heidi Fleiss podcast "HeidiWorld". Molly talks Hollywood history, takes the Jons to Heidi Fleiss's old Hollywood Blvd. storefront for her line of women's boxer shorts, they see a lady with tons of garbage duct taped to her car and Jon D plugs his new album, Ding Dong Delicious. Tall Jon is a safe driver. However, if he gets pulled over, he knows his rights, and also knows NOT to take them on the podcast! We ONLY turn left!
2 Jons Don't Make a Right 3: Hollywood Huebel
Hollywood's Rob Huebel joins Jon and Jon for a leftless romp through, well, Hollywood! Billboards are discussed, a terrible mural is mocked, and Tall Jon has a foot infection. Sometimes life is more wrongs then rights, which is something these guys don't take!
2 Jons Don't Make a Right PILOT
This is very, very special. 2 Jons Don't Make a Right didn't start fully formed. In fact, the idea to incorporate "guests" at all basically occurred to us in this episode! We're calling it the "Pilot". There is an air of excitement, of fun, delirious naivete that pervades this episode as Jon and Jon drive around Hollywood hammering out what the podcast will be, setting rules, cutting up, and trying to get the podcast exactly right. Or is it exactly LEFT? Because they don't make rights! Enjoy!
Ep. 15 "ConRATulations" - with Tom Scharpling
Jon is joined by legend Tom Scharpling to review mob murderer Sammy "The Bull" Gravano's podcast "Our Thing".
Formerly the underboss of John Gotti, Sammy The Bull is currently a podcaster, and eternallly a rat.
My Dog Sleeping, Looped
5 minutes of my dog sleeping. Some birds chirp here and there. Guaranteed to soothe!
Ep 13: SOPRANOS PODCAST REVIEWS-AGOOL Pt. 2 - "Finn on Finn Action" - With Will Janowitz
Finn DeTrolio himself, Actor, writer and Sopranos castmember Will Janowitz joins Jon to review Sopranos podcasts "CUT TO BLACK: A Sopranos Sit-Down" and "IN AT THE END: An Obsessive Analysis of The Sopranos". Truly an episode you 'can't refuse'!
2 Jons Don't Make a Right Pt. 2 - with Kulap Vilaysack
Jon and Jon are joined by actor and comedian and podcaster Kulap Vilaysack for a right-turnless drive where they 1. Get into a car accident and confront the other driver and 2. Heckle an anti-mask protest and then Jon feels bad about it but ultimately, fuck it right? Or fuck it LEFT? Becasue two Jons DON'T make a right is the podcast.
Ep. 12 "Dan Klein, Jon Daly and Ben Shapiro" - with Dan Klein
The boys are back! Jon hosts the hilarious writer and comedian Dan Klein (Bible Bros. Podcast). The boys take on the task of listening to an episode of a podcast by conservative take-maker and argument winner Ben Shapiro.