jumble
By sidney
check out the youtube channel: www.youtube.com/channel/UCJC6HqYAISBWUeY_ZsikbNQ
visit the website at bit.ly/jumblepod!
support the podcast (pls I'm poor) at patreon.com/jumblepodcast
jumbleAug 06, 2023
such a fun age: book review
In this episode I'm taken on a rollercoaster of happy, sad, angry emotions as I review Such A Fun Age by Kiley Reid. In this book chock full of racial undertones and complicated relationships, I find myself empathizing with the experiences of another lost and confused young black woman.
how to cut your hair
In this episode, I read my own writing and reminisce on why it is that I write in the first place.
link to anthology: https://girlswritenow.org/2023anthology/
I got rejected from my dream school: bonus episode
This episode is dedicated to the sanitation workers that saw me crying while I walked my dog last week.
I got rejected from my dream school
I got rejected and it sucks. It doesn't suck as much as I thought it would, but regardless, it still sucks.
link to gradcafe: https://www.thegradcafe.com/
before I let go: book review
To end off Black History Month with a bang I read Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan and each time I read a book by a Black author I find myself more enthralled by the ways they articulate concepts that I've grappled with for my entire life. Sometimes I've been grappling with them without even being conscious of it. I love seeing myself represented in stories but I love seeing my life represented in stories even more.
a rant about my future
Grad school results are coming out soon and it's all I can think about. Will I get rejected and cry on the floor for the next 10 business days? Can I even fantasize about getting acceptance without inevitably getting my heart shattered? Either way there's only two outcomes: rejection or acceptance. And only time will tell.
new years resolutions I've already failed at
I made some resolutions sure that the new year would be the perfect time to fulfill them, but it's been a lot harder than I thought it would be. Anyways, all I can do is keep trying everyday until I get it right.
youtube video: https://youtu.be/bFfKJkBOcis
beige: december's anthem
The future is filled with endless possibilities and I honestly can't wait to see which one of those possibilities become my reality.
hair depression
Sometimes I feel like I let my hair define who I am as a Black woman or even just as a person too much. To the point where it impacts my mental health. Hair depression sucks and I wish it didn't control my perception of beauty as much as it does.
confronting people again
I just can't seem to keep my mouth shut these days. In this episode, I talk about the after effects that confrontation has on me because if it's one thing I've learned from confronting people it's that the hardest part of confrontation is not always the act itself.
affection: november's anthem
November: forever known as the month that went by too fast when it was over, but somehow time wouldn't move fast enough while it was happening.
pretty privilege
Are Black women the only women who don't have pretty privilege? From FKA Twigs and Suki Waterhouse comparisons to Meghan Markle's struggles in the Royal Family it feels like none of us can catch a break!!!! And I'm just tired.
Suki Waterson Articles: Vanity Fair & Into The Gloss
vulnerability: bonus episode
Girls like me are trying to stop pretending that we don't cry....
vulnerability
I used to hate showing emotions. It felt embarrassing, disgusting, and repulsive. But my real problem with emotions was that it felt too revealing. In this episode, I talk about my journey of allowing myself to be more vulnerable in life and all the ups and downs that come with it.
funny you should ask: book review
Who doesn't love reading a short and sweet romcom in autumn? I for one am utterly obsessed with this genre so this week, I reviewed Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman. A mix of endearing, relatable, and romancey moments, this book stole my heart and I would gladly let it do it again.
write what excites you
Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to write the next big thing and I forget why I started writing in the first place. In this episode I remind myself to write the things that make me laugh, cry, and cringe instead of trying to write what I think other people would want me to write.
hello! october's anthem
the spooky part of October is not knowing what you want to do with your life...
all my plants are dying: bonus episode
I'm trying my best not to kill my plants, I pinky promise.
all my plants are dying
I am obsessed with house plants. And like all people who are obsessed with house plants, I own an obscene amount of them. But, with my collection of plants that once brought me so much joy dying around me it's made me do some inner reflections on myself. Why is it so hard for me to get the motivation to do something I once loved so much?
if cats disappeared from the world: book review
After reading Genki Kawamura's If Cats Disappeared From the World, I can safely say that my journey reading translated books has been very interesting so far. Tune in to both a non-spoiler and spoiler review of the book to hear my thoughts. And although this book wasn't exactly what I was expecting, I'm very much looking forward to reading my next translated book.
being in your twenties is scary
I've only been in my twenties for two years and it's already beating the hell out of me. The highs are really high and the lows are really low, but I think as long as I wake up every day and try my best (whatever that ends up looking like on that day), I surely, hopefully am headed in the right direction.
sweet: september's anthem
Low quality audio, high quality times! Thank god September is over, it was a bumpy one...
writer's block
I haven't written a single creative word since May. I'm frustrated, disappointed, and confused because all I want to do is write and the only thing I spend my time not doing is writing. In this episode I try to get to the bottom of this ridiculous situation by talking it out.
what if I fail?
Failure is inevitable in life when you put yourself outside of your comfort zone, but that doesn't mean that it hurts any less... In this episode I grapple with failure once again along with the burnout that comes with working as hard as you can your entire life.
I'm sick of following the rules: bonus episode
No matter what I do, I'll never be able to control how people judge me. So instead I'll just live my life however I feel like it.
I'm sick of following the rules
Lately I've been feeling so restricted by what people think I should be doing with my life. By what I think I should be doing in life. But I'm sick and tired of dealing with everyone's expectations of who or what I should be so I think I'm just going to live everyday aiming to be as happy as I can be with the life that I'm living.
stay for a while: august's anthem
I don't know where life is taking me and everything is scary but at least it's almost time for hoodie weather.
before the coffee gets cold: book review
tune in to my first ever 10/10 book review of Before the Coffee Gets Cold by Toshikazu Kawaguchi to learn more about the book that I will literally be thinking about until the day I die.
fourth wing: book review
This week I reviewed Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros which has been all over my instagram feed lately. I wanted to see what all the fuss was about because people were ranting and raving over this book. I give a non-spoiler review and the beginning of the episode and a spoiler review at the end of the episode for those who have and haven't read the book.
reading slumps
A reader's worst nightmare is realizing that they are in a reading slump. It's the worst thing ever to realize that you don't find joy in the one thing that you used to look forward to everyday. From figuring out what causes reading slumps to brainstorming ways to escape them, this episode is all about what to do when it's a struggle to get through even one page in a book.
Links:
college roommate stories
having roommates in college is literally a roller coaster. Like a ride that you can't get off for literally 9 months. It'll make you scream, cry, and maybe even laugh. Either way you'll come out as a changed person, for better or worse.
80 degrees: july's anthem
It's too hot outside and I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm ready for fall already.
I'm embarrassed by my hobbies
I feel some type of way about talking about my hobbies because it feels embarrassing to be associated with them. In this episode I talk about distancing myself from my interest in reading, listening to Kpop, and watching anime or Kdramas.
book tropes
Pick your poison: strangers to enemies to lovers? Or childhood friends to lovers to strangers? Mafia books, age gaps, amnesia, pregnancy, and forbidden love are inescapable tropes in books these days. Some are loved and some are hated, but why do we even care so much and are they limiting creativity in books as publishers increasingly focus on meeting the demand for trending tropes?
life after college: bonus episode
Sometimes all you need is a good song to cope with the fact that you are unemployed.
life after college
life after college is like some sort of weird limbo where it feels like you're just waiting for your real life to start. But what does that even mean? I mean, aren't we in our real adult life right now? Even if we don't have jobs or live on our own?
Instead of waiting for life to start, I think about the ways that we can enjoy the life we have right now instead of spending all this time worrying about what the future holds.
Links:
anxiety: bonus episode
Take a deep breath. It will work out, so don't stress out baby ;) .
anxiety
The thought of dealing with my anxiety everyday makes me nauseous. How ridiculous is that? Feeling anxious about being anxious. Regardless of how ridiculous it is, in this episode I talk about the ways that anxiety impacts my daily life and I try to see if I can pinpoint the moment that it all began.
Links:
teach yourself to feel attractive
Learning to love yourself is hard. And it's even harder to know where to start when trying to learn how to love yourself. In this episode, I talk about some steps that I took on the journey to loving myself with all of the embarrassing moments that accompany teaching yourself how to feel attractive.
links:
aeao: june's anthem
It's so weird to be so aware that you're leaving a phase of your life that you will never be able to go back to. Sometimes in life a chapter of your life ends without you realizing it and other times you are so painfully aware of it that you can't help but wonder what will be waiting for you in this next chapter. It's scary, it's exhilarating, it's overwhelming. It's what change feels like.
links:
memphis: book review
Oh yeah! I'm reading more books by black authors and reviewing them. I had a whole lot to say about the book Memphis by Tara M. Stringfellow in this episode as I discussed scenes in the book that shocked me to my core and others that left me wanting more (oh my gosh that rhymed).
links:
alone but not lonely
What is the difference between being alone and being lonely? Sometimes it feels like the line is so blurred that it makes it difficult for me to enjoy spending time by myself. But honestly, being alone is when I feel most at ease.
links:
getting better at confrontation
Do what you need to do to protect your happiness.
Making sure that I protect my happiness sometimes requires confronting others by advocating for what is right or even just standing my ground when I tell my friends that I don't feel like going out today. Regardless of how major or minor each confrontation is, I always find myself dealing with a mix of anxiety and guilt that I can't seem to shake every time I end up in these situations.
Links:
god of sunsets: may's anthem
Graduated college and feeling scared/excited, but always reminding myself to take risks that push me out of my comfort zone (not too much though lmao).
is reading romance books embarrassing?
I like reading romance books more than I would like to admit. Why do I feel kind of embarrassed to admit that reading romance novels is one of my favorite things to do these days?
Links:
Romance Novel Cover Trends Article
outgrowing friendships
Outgrowing a friendship is painful for everyone. It's painful if they've outgrown your friendship and you haven't. It's painful when you've outgrown it and they haven't. And somehow it's still painful even when everyone has outgrown it at the same time. But even amongst the discomfort that the pain brings during this time, there's also a sense of excitement when you realize that outgrowing a friendship means that you are one step closer to figuring out what kind of person that you want to be.
Links:
struggling with acne
There was a time when I was repulsed by my reflection because of my acne. I've worked really hard to come to a place when I feel more comfortable in my skin, but as I look back on my journey to get to this point I remember how difficult it was to get through each day knowing that I hated the way that I looked. In this episode, I give skin care recommendations, discuss the pros and cons of using accutane, and think about the effect that my acne had on my self-confidence.
Links:
the future scares me: bonus episode
If I close my eyes and the sun don't shine will I be okay? If it was my last day on earth would I be okay?
I think so. I think I would be.
the future scares me
oh my god, I'm graduating college and I'm not following any of the plans that I laid out for myself when I was 17 years old. Suddenly I don't know the difference between what I actually want for my life and what I think I should want my life to be like and I'm literally having an existential crisis every 2 hours. The future is scary and exciting and I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm trying to go but god I hope that I get there in one piece.
Links:
seven days in june: book review
Links:
bit.ly/jumblepod