Keep Them Coming with Open the Doors Coaching
By Kristen Thomas
Original theme song and production by MKoussa
Cover art by Fuller Creative, LLC
Open the Doors Coaching, LLC logo by Dazium Design Studio
Keep Them Coming with Open the Doors CoachingDec 05, 2019
Ep. 94 - Q&A: Staying wet, uncut guys, and sexy initiation
Today's episode is a Q&A session. I've had people write in questions they'd like answered, including:
"What are some of the ways to stay wet? I get wet easily but can't stay wet after we've started."
"How is sex/blow jobs/hand jobs different when a guy is uncircumcised? What do you have to do differently to work with the extra skin?"
"How do I say it (initiate sex)? The only way I can truly think of is 'wanna go upstairs'?"
Mentioned in the episode: Text me at 339-900-2304 to ask me anything privately with #AMA, ask a question to be answered on Keep Them Coming with #podcast, or subscribe to updates with #subscribe. Powered by Texty.
Sign up for the SFW or NSFW Dirty Bird email lists.
Ep. 93 - Jesus Stole My Power with Stephanie Carey
Her book is forthcoming, but Stephanie Carey joined me to share a glimpse into her story behind Jesus Stole My Power. She shared how she changed from a sheltered purity-culture riddled girl to a women who's learning more and more how to stand tall and own her life and especially her sexuality. To anyone out there who ever worries they are "being punished" for being a sexual person, you'll want to hear this interview.
Mentioned in the episode: The Pitch Kansas City, Linda Kay Klein's Pure
Ep. 92 - Do these 13 things if you want a great sex life!
In this solo show, I explore some of the things I've found in practice are characteristics of couples who aren't feeling connected in the bedroom. There are ways to build a great sexual connection that has you and your partner craving more. Want to have a better sex? Do these 13 things according to The Gottman Institute.
Mentioned in the show:
Dipsea - try the Audible of audio-erotic 7 days for free.
My upcoming online workshop - C*ckworship! Get your tickets for the July 29th, 2012 virtual workshop that will change how you approach sucking a D!
Ep. 91 - Dungeon Etiquette with Mistress Elliot
Mistress Elliot is well known in our community, and we can call her the Queen of Naughty. She owns a private dungeon The Black Dog, so of course I needed to have her on Keep Them Coming! I've talked before about BDSM and kink on the show, but Mistress Elliot provided some great insights into several kinks, as well as dungeon etiquette. She explained some of the old and new protocols AKA the rules, so that people understand better what they may be in for, and into. If you want to explore BDSM, you need to listen to this episode!
I enjoyed getting to know more about her story - swinging, her midlife meltdown, letting go of body shame, hard realizations, how she healed her trauma, owning two good boys through her "benevolent dictatorship", and why we love doing couples/relationship work with clients. I can't wait to go to her dungeon and roll around on the red velvet furniture while I watch some scenes. I admit it - I'm a voyeur!
Check out the book Tribe by Sebastian Junger
Find Mistress Elliot at healingkc.com or on FetLife look up Mistress Elliot or The Black Dog in Kansas City. Email her at me@mistresselliot.com
Ep. 90 - Pandemic Porn Stars Pt 2 with Johnny Araña
I enjoy releasing episodes on June 9th! I mean it's 6-9. It's my favorite day of the year. Happy 6-9 if you happen to be listening on release day, if not, I hope you got to enjoy the day properly! My guest today is a friend of mine. His name is Johnny Araña. He tells a lot of stories of course, about what he's had going on with this pandemic porn star lifestyle, how he got into it... He's just like doctor, girlfriend. He didn't just do this because the pandemic MADE him. Certainly he's made some great money off of it and being able to pay his bills, but he wanted to do this before the world shut down. It wasn't just the pressure of the world changing, his story really is just one of capitalizing on talent and opportunity! He also tells some hilarious stories about being a bull in the swinger lifestyle.
He's also a former lover of mine, and he's one of the few people out there who can give me two thumbs up on my skill level and what I bring to the table, and I think he said something along the lines of like, ah, yeah, you are exactly the person who should be teaching a workshop about c*ckworship. If you missed my last workshop, Johnny Araña gives me the full vouch.
Find Johnny Araña on Twitter @JohnnyAranaXXX
Ep. 89 - International Whores' Day with Kaytlin Bailey
I'm so excited to have Kaytlin Bailey return to the show. You can check out her first episode, The Oldest Professional with Kaytlin Bailey on Ep. 79. Kaytlin's back for a second time because today is Sex Work Day, also known as International Whores' Day.
Kaytlin provided me with a bit of a legislative update, letting us know what's going on around the country, and she discussed how her organization is helping promote sex work and the decriminalization of sex work across the country through art. Ultimately this podcast episode is just a good conversation between two people who like talking about sex and are confident in our support for sex workers.
Find Kaytlin on Twitter @OLDPROinc or sign up for The Old Pro newsletter. Check out her fabulous show The Oldest Profession Podcast too!
Ep. 88 - Pandemic Porn Stars Pt 1 with UrChaoticGf
My show today is the first part of a two-part series that I am doing about Pandemic Porn Stars. So I was really happy to welcome UrChaotic Girlfriend, AKA Dr Girlfriend, to the show. She's a Twitter friend who I watched make a transition. You know, when the pandemic hit, a lot of people had the office jobs, the 8-5s, but that shit wasn't working for everybody, not just the idea of going into the office, whatever the pay was, things like that. A lot of people decided to just make a change. And, you know, I love to tell people's stories, especially when it involves sex and intimacy! So of course I wanted to find out what it was like to make that switch to doing online sex work. We talked about what it's like to have your nude photos leaked online and to get doxed, and how she took control of the situation after that. You may also be surprised to learn how much work it actually takes to be an online sex worker. We got into some of the nitty gritty about how she's built her business, because legit, it has a business, no matter what you think It's a fucking business.
Find her on Twitter @urchaoticgf
Ep. 87 - Moving on from a pandemic divorce with SelfCareCEO Kristin Summers
My interview today is with Kristin Summers, who is the CEO of MindStar health. That is a self-care app that she's developed. She had a divorce at the beginning of the pandemic. So we talked about her post divorce, sexual awakening, and you know how she navigated those waters during the fucking global pandemic. She learned a lot about herself while dating. She's like a lot of people who didn't do a lot of dating before she got married. A lot of people in the Midwest settle down young and you know, then your thirties or forties, it should be all about exploration, but a lot of people struggle with that.
I hope you find some inspiration from Kristin's story. I think one of the more important aspects of our conversation was talking about authenticity and how you not only have to learn about yourself and you've got to learn how to show yourself to other people - You gotta learn how to show up.We talked about the law of seduction and how she's done some online sex work. That's gotten quite popular since the start of the pandemic and it's probably not what you think it is.
Yes, it's a long episode, but worth it! Find MindStar through Instagram as she get's ready to launch.
Ep. 86 - Can you be a kinky feminist? With Lida Rubanava
We discussed how many people struggle with being 'okay' with their sexual identities or kinks because of society/conditioning/shame, and how integration can help work through what your true beliefs and boundaries are. We asked and answered the question - can you be a kinky feminist?
Find Lida Rubanava at rubanava.com and on Instagram @fearlesslida
Ep. 85 - Visibility Matters with Suzanne Wheeler
My guest today is Suzanne Wheeler. I have been after Suzanne for a while! I wanted her on my show pretty much since I started it. In fact, she was on my list that I compiled when I was thinking about potential early guests. So here I am now episode 85 and it is Transgender Day of Visibility, and I finally have her on the show. Suzanne is the Executive Director of the Mid-America LGBT Chamber of Commerce, the only Transgender Woman leading a Chamber nationwide, but she is so much more than that. Suzanne is an ambassador for the gay community here in Kansas City, making sure that businesses are represented and promoted and has even had a hand in some national policy. We discussed her transition, some of the interesting work that she's done in her life, and we talked so much about all that stuff, we didn't even get around to TDOV, which this year is being on March 31st.
Transgender Day of Visibility is an annual awareness day, celebrated all over the world and it's dedicated to celebrating the accomplishments of transgender and gender non-conforming people, while also raising awareness of the work that still needs to be done to achieve trans justice. (Via GLSEN.org) You've heard me say it on my show before, but if you're a new listener, here's what I think... I am here to help with sexual liberation and there can be no true and full sexual liberation without racial, social and economic justice. Trans justice is a part of that.
A little bit of news for myself. I'm on new social media platform. Catch me on TikTok @coachKristen.
Ep. 84 - Painful Sex No More
I truly want people to have painful sex no more. By the way , to the male listeners of this show, this is going to be good information for you to know as well so that you can know how to support your partner, or if you yourself have pain during intercourse. If this is something you or your lover has been ignoring, and it's time for solutions. In this episode, I will walk you through steps for reducing pain or eliminating it all together.
Ep. 83 - Living unLESHed with Alesha Bowman
I was thrilled to have Alesha Bowman, Owner of unLESHed+, on this episode of Keep Them Coming! Alesha is founded her brand in 2017 to cater to the lifestyle of a plus sized woman. She is way more than just a clothing resale store! We discussed events she's hosted like Trap Burlesque, Poolpalooza, and her plans for a weekend festival celebrating all things for bigger bodies. Of course I asked her about dating! We got into some deep topics about race, dating, authenticity, going Dutch, and fetishization of black and plus sized bodies. "There's a fine line between admiration and fetishization," she says.
Find Alesha Bowman and her shop unLESHed+ at 4243 Troost Ave, KCMO again beginning March 19th, 2021 or online at www.shopunleshed.com, Facebook, or Instagram.
Ep. 82 - Can't Buy Me Love with Darcie Elizabeth
You can find Darcie on Instagram and Facebook, as well as her website. Her book, "More Money More Power?" is available in March. Visit her website to pre-order your copy.
Ep. 81 - Filter Off with Zach Schleien
I don't know any single person that's tried internet dating that isn't frustrated with most of their experiences on swipe apps. Enter a totally new experience for you to try! I'm joined today by Zach Schleien from Filter Off. Filter Off is a totally new way to approach those first dates. It's virtual speed dating, so rather than swiping you get to video chat with your potential matches. When was the last time you got 5 first dates in a night while hanging at home?
Find Filter Off at getfilteroff.com, or on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
Ep. 80 - Sensate focus and the power of touch with Gigi Chaurand Kammerer
Connecting through touch is important for both solo and partnered play. This episode dives into the power of touch, how to ask for what you want, and what really is sensate focus all about. How do you get your mind and body ready for better experiences? How do you ask your partner for something different and get what you really desire? Gigi Chaurand Kammerer, a yoga teacher, Reiki master and fellow podcaster, joined me for a conversation all about how to apply sensate focus in practical ways.
Find Gigi at mysonandmoon.com. Her podcast Portable Magic is available anywhere you listen to podcasts.
Ep. 79 - The Oldest Profession with Kaytlin Bailey
The Oldest Profession, or sex work, is something that has fascinated me ever since I wrote a paper about Mata Hari. Guest Kaytlin Bailey and I discuss some of the ways sex work is portrayed vs how it is in the real world, what decriminalization means for sex workers, how we can work to decrease exploitation in our culture, and much more. She's a stand-up comic too, so you're in for some serious laughs!
Kaytlin Bailey is the host of The Oldest Profession Podcast and Founder of the #OldProProject. Keep with her work on social media @kaytlinbailey, @oldpropodcast, and sign up for the Old Pro Newsletter. Go to the website to get your tickets for the January 25th event mentioned in the episode.
Ep. 78 - An Honest Conversation about Pregnancy & Sex with Dr Kelsey Beach
Dr Kelsey Beach is back for her third appearance on Keep Them Coming! This time, she's preggers! As one of my most fun and real guests, I knew she's talk about the not so Instagram worthy aspects of being pregnant. While there can be many wonderful things about expecting a baby, there's a lot that people don't talk about, that your doctor doesn't understand, and your friends are afraid to tell you. So tune in to this episode for the good, the bad, and the ugly about what to expect. We discussed bodily shifts, vaginal secretions, libido rollercoasters, and boobs. Lots of boob talk on this one.
Find Dr Kelsey Beach at Encore Therapy, or on Instagram.
Ep. 77 - Mom, sex, and the pandemic
Ep. 76 - What's next for burlesque with Petite Renard
Fangirling can pay off. I reached out to a burlesque dancer I've admired on Instagram for a while and Petite Renard was more than happy to chat with me on Keep Them Coming. We dished about some of the behind the scenes drama, the drive to create a sexy yet intellectual show, and what's next for burlesque in COVID times and beyond. Whether you've never been to a show or you miss supporting your favorite local dancers, this episode will give you some insight, make you crave live entertainment again, and perhaps get you a little turned on.
Find Petite Renard on Instagram @petite_renard
Ep. 75 - Read Me with Dr Lanae St. John
I'm joined today by Dr Lanae St. John. She's a sexuality educator and an author, and I was so pleased to be able to host her on my show and talk about her book. I know Dr Lanae because of our affiliation with Sex Coach U. This was such a wonderful conversation about how do you have "The Talk" with your kids. This wasn't a how-to guide about ages and stages. This is really about some key pillars that she feels are necessary for parents to be able to first process themselves - things like communication, consent, respect, pleasure, and fantasy. We also answered it a listener question -one of my listeners found out that her twelve-year-old even after they had a talk about it has still been looking at porn. This is not the first time I've had people reach out to ask the question of what do I do about my kid looking things they really shouldn't be looking at? And especially with as much screen time is some kids are getting right now with lockdown, maybe you're needing to have some awkward conversations.
We need to talk about how to prepare them for real world relationships one day. How do they build respect with other people? How do they understand pleasure? All these things and more... you'll seriously love this episode. And even if you don't have kids listen to learn more about yourself or how to help young people that you have in your life.
Mentioned in the episode:
Dr Lanae St. John can be reached by email or on Facebook and Instagram. Her Book "Read Me: A Parental Primer for 'The Talk'" is available at local bookstores and online retailers. Go to her website for more information.
Want to try DipSea? Dipsea is the first audio platform for sexual wellness. They’re working to put healthy sexuality into the same sentence as exercise and meditation when we talk about living a whole, happy life. Our mission? Empowering you to tap into your sexuality on your own terms. Go to dipseastories.com/selfcare for 25% off an annual subscription (they offer a standard 7 day free trial you will be able to use before committing).
Ep. 74 - The Paris of the Plains is kinky AF
Today's episode is all about Kink in Kansas City aka The Paris of the Plains. Yes, for a long time, KC has been known for it's wild side, and Vicky joined me today to help me learn more about what's available for people. Whether you're just getting started moving from fantasy into play, you're curious about kink but don't know what's what, or maybe you're already into it and you don't know where to go for a dungeon or community. She's got the answers for you. So just check the show notes below for all the groups she mentioned in this episode.
Consent Kansas City – Created to provide education and fun to the community. Hosts KC’s largest munch- Why Not Wednesday, monthly parties on 3rd Saturdays of the month, semi-annual Fetish Pop-Up Shop, Community Kinky Campout and more! Fetlife: consent_kc (page) / Consent Kansas City (group) https://fetlife.com/groups/71405
AHS Kansas City – Alternative Human Society D/s lifestyle resource & support group since the early 90s. Monthly meetups 3rd Fridays, monthly parties on 1st Saturdays, annual community Kinky Campout. Fetlife: AHS Kansas City
BKKC – Black Kink Kansas City – Love and encouragement of people of color. Increasing visibility and inclusivity in KC. Monthly meetings 4th Friday of the month. Fetlife: bkkc816913
The Hellfire Club KC – Provide an environment in which people can openly discuss and practice protocols. All welcome to attend. Monthly meetings 2nd Friday of the month. Fetlife: The Hellfire Club – Kansas City
Petplay Corral – 1st Friday of the month. All welcome to participate or observe. Fetlife: Message IX Kansas City & they will connect you with the current team
CG/l Kansas City – Littles group for all Bigs, littles, ABDL, etc. All welcome to participate! Monthly parties 3rd Friday of the month. Fetlife: CG/lkansascity
Poly Discussion Group – anyone curious/practicing ethical non-monogamy. Usual meetings 3rd Sundays Fetlife: Message FeistyRedGoddess and/or ZKiltedFlogger
MAsT – Masters And slaves Together – Interested and/or practicing Power Exchange. All are welcome. Monthly meetings last Wednesday of the month. Fetlife: MAsT: Kansas City
KC Pioneers – Levi-Leather club in Kansas City,MO. They promote the leather lifestyle through social events and community service. Regular meetings, education nights, and parties.Facebook: KC Pioneers. Website: www.kcpioneers.club Fetlife: KC Pioneers
RSG of KC - Rope group that holds occasional events and an annual Rope Camp. Fetlife: Rope Study Group of Kansas City
Scouts of Submission - Designed to provide an outlet for s-types to develop life skills & lifestyle skills and serve the community. For anyone identifying as an s-type. No gender restrictions. Can be a badge seeking scout or just a attendee of classes/events. Semi-regular meetings
Fetlife: SOS_KC
Subspace_KC – Forum for support and education of all s-types and bottoms. A mission to create a safe space for all s-types regardless of their label to find support and community engagement. Regular meet-ups. Also have an active chat group on Dischord: message sassmissive for link.
Fetlife: subspacekc
The Meat Locker - It is a group for gay/bi men to socialize, learn, and be around others like them in the kink community. Message Consent Kansas City to receive a link to the dischord chat.
Ep. 73 - Let's FINALLY talk about sex
It is pretty common for couples to not talk about sex. But why? Why is it so hard for some people?! Kristen dives into a few of the reasons why, and how to get past it, especially if you've been together a while and never had The Talk.
Ep. 72 - Tap that feminine energy
Tapping into feminine energy isn't just for female identifying folks, it's for everyone. This episode with Dave Witcher is about feminine energy and its ties to sexual energy, creativity, and much more. He left the tech sector 5 years ago, and we talked about his journey to living the life, from a dark night of the soul to finding peace. Dave and Kristen's talk about how to use this energy to empower your entire life.
Ep. 71 - Expanding your position repertoire
What do you do when you're stuck doing the same positions in the bedroom over and over again? How do you talk about it with your partner? In this episode, Kristen explores why it's important to change it up, how to get past the awkwardness of discussing sex, and how to keep it interesting without feeling like you're constantly coming up with new ideas.
Mentioned in the episode:
SFW email newsletter for the curious. You can put any email address here you like.
The Dirty Bird NSFW email newsletter. This should be your personal email because it will definitely have adult content.
Ep. 70 - How does race affect your dating life?
Keep Them Coming is back after a brief summer break! Monique Waters LMT joins me to have a conversation about dating and race. In this very frank talk, we share experiences, fears, red flags, and so much more. We discussed the fetishization of black and brown bodies, what it means when you exclude races from your dating profile, and how to have talks about race with your partner, especially when you have different backgrounds.
I believe that talking about race - the nuances of our experiences, the day to day realities, the what ifs, the lessons left to be had - is very important, now more than ever. I was so glad to have Monique on the show to talk about what her life is like as a black woman who is single in the Midwest. Find her at MassageAmaniandSpa.com or on Facebook.
Also in today's show, I gave a review for a product at the end! You can find the Lisenwood Wedge Pillow set from several online retailers.
Ep. 69 - The Joy of 69ing
From the history of the the phrase to how to better enjoy the position, no matter what's between your legs, Kristen has information and advice to help you get the most out of 69ing. It's June 9th, what better day to talk about one of her favorite sex positions?
Mentioned in the episode:
Anne-Josèphe Théroigne - Female French Revolutionary who had an interesting life and coined the term soixant-neuf.
Ep. 68 - Celebrating self-pleasure during National Masturbation Month
It's my masturbation month episode for 2020. May is National Masturbation Month and some people have asked me, "how did that get started?" There's certainly a month for everything these days, so I researched and shared it's origins. I found this sex toy company called TENGA who does research into masturbation and I divulged some sexy deets from their 2019 Self-Pleasure Report. I also discussed sex toys to make masturbation more fun, especially for men, lube, and some thoughts on what parents can do to help their kids understand self-pleasure.
Ep. 67 - Releasing through rope play with Bird Girl
I was incredibly honored to have a new friend that I made on the internet on my show today. Her Instagram handle is @KCBirdGirl, but just for short, we'll call her Bird Girl. Bird Girl participates in rope play. She shared some of her experiences at a recent roleplay conference happened before the shutdown, of course. And she talked about having to really show up and be present and just be her true self. She had to work through some imposter syndrome. She shared how she finds that rope can be very meditative and actually mentioned using mindfulness techniques during her sessions, during her , what we call, scenes. We also tried to debunk some myths, especially when it comes to sexuality and BDSM. I think you will be just as fascinated by this conversation as I was because I don't really participate in road place. This was all new to me. A couple of quick things I want to mention.
First off, I have a new service offering. I am now going to be offering not just hour long sessions, but also 30 minute sessions. So, if because of the shutdown, you're looking for some support, some help with your sex life, send me a message. Kristen@openthedoorscoaching.com. It's also National Masturbation Month! I'm sure my next episode is going to be about masturbation, but if you can't wait until then, you can actually go back to my second episode, which was almost a year ago. That's right! I have been doing Keep Them Coming with Open the Doors Coaching for a year. If you'd like more of my content besides the podcast, follow me on social media. I invite you to please join my email newsletter, especially my not safe for work newsletter, The Dirty Bird. Please remember to subscribe, rate, share this show.
Mentioned in the episode: NARIX or North American Rope Innovation Exchange - A rope conference
Ep. 66 - Stay home and masturbate
We are still under a stay at home order, so the CDC has politely asked us to stay home and masturbate. Not just the CDC, several state agencies have put out requests for people to be more cautious with their sexual activity. Right now, a lot of people are not staying at home currently with a partner, so that has had some effects on people's buying habits. And of course, specifically what I'm talking about is sex, toys. Vibrators, dildos, sex toys, all the things are flying off the shelves.
I don't really know anybody at any of the big toy manufacturers, but I do know a Pure Romance consultant, so I had my friend and neighbor, Kelly Jackson on again. This is her second appearance on Keep Them Coming and we talked about what she has seen during this lockdown. We also talked about mutual masturbation, some of the health benefits of masturbation, as well as how to introduce toys into the bedroom, especially if your partner's not quite so keen on having a toy during intimate times. And we had a moment in our fields where we talked about what we hope to see as far as some cultural shifts after COVID.
Ep. 65 - The Walk Must Go On: How the 32nd Annual AIDS Walk KC manages change during social distancing with Eric Thomas
Eric Thomas is the Board President of the AIDS Service Foundation. He came on the show to tell me more about the Foundation as well as AIDS Walk Kansas City. With COVID-19 and Kansas City's stay at home order, we're certainly not going to get thousands of people together for an in-person walk. We talked about the pivots that they're making to still be able to service their organizations that help people in the region, not only with their diagnosis, but with living full healthy lives with HIV and AIDS. We also talked about how there is such a different understanding between generations of HIV and AIDS and some of the stigma as well as the U = U campaign and what that means for our new understanding of living a life with HIV. I couldn't help with what's going on in the world discuss some of the things that I wish could have happened in the early days of the HIV epidemic. It's kind of strange talking about one pandemic when you're in the middle of another one.
I hope what you'll get from this episode is that there is a lot of hope. There's been a lot of research over the last few years, and there are people in the community who are out there dedicated to making sure that there is prevention, there's treatment, and that there's resources for everyone in our community. I hope you not only learn something about this organization, but you learn something about HIV and AIDS today. There's still a lot of stigma. There's still a lot of misinformation, miseducation, and just a lack of education , and of course, educating people about STIs and human sexuality is what I am here on the planet to do, so I hope you enjoy our conversation.
Ep. 64 - Vegan sexuality, cannabis, and thriving in high stress times with Shelley Fritz
Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear back from you, Kristen@openthedoorscoaching.com is my email or send me a direct message on any of my social media channels. Please rate, like, and subscribe this podcast and share it with anyone that you think might benefit from hearing it. I always love and appreciate hearing from my listeners, especially right now when we're all practicing social distancing... Call it physical distancing. We can still keep socializing. We just got to find different ways to do it. So if you want to reach out, please do so.
For anyone that is interested in coaching sessions with me, I am now offering 30 minute and 60 minute virtual sessions. I can coach you from anywhere thanks to technology. I work with couples and singles. Again, shoot me an email if you would like some more info.
Mentioned in the episode:
Shelley Fritz can be reached at ShelleyFritzHealing.com or shelleyfritzhealing@gmail.com
Russel Brand and Brené Brown interview on YouTube
Mic the Vegan and Female Erectile Dysfunction
The Game Changers – Film about plant based eating and athletes
Weed The People – Available on Netflix
T. Colin Campbell Center for Nutrition Studies
Ep. 63 - Courting is back : Tips for phone and video chat dates
I want to talk about how courting is back! Basically, unless you are married or living with your significant other, everybody is in long distance relationship mode. So this episode is for you, whether you are single and you are on the dating scene, or you are in a relationship but you're currently separated, this episode is to help you all out.
Ep. 62 - Cancer and the Kinky Girl
This episode is special to me. I interviewed one of my oldest and dearest friends and we just went completely off the rails talking about whatever just is kind of came to mind. You're really gonna feel like a fly on the wall between two best friends just go into town and telling sex stories - some that are hilarious, some that are cringe-worthy, some that were just really good learning lessons. But the main topic I had Kelly come on to talk about today was her experiences with cancer. She's had a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy, and I really wanted someone's perspective on what it's like to keep your sexuality going after you've had surgery and change like this in life.We talked about femininity, kink and BDSM, and what dating was like when she was going through treatment. And it didn't necessarily slow her down, but she definitely had to alter her thinking and gain some perspectives that she could move forward as a sexual being after all of this.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 61 - Getting busy during a state of emergency
I live in Kansas City, Missouri, and on Thursday 3-12-2020 our Mayor declared a state of emergency. Any events of a thousand people or more are banned, canceled, whatever. Who knows how far this is going to go, but we like to party here in Kansas City (it's also known as the Paris of the Plains), so a friend of mine is going to host a party at his office today. And of course he posted in the event on socials, "Will Kristen be talking better sex stuff in small groups? Come find out." Someone asked, "Will she be teaching us how to safely have intercourse with our sick partners? I'm asking for myself in hopes that I meet a man with a cough." I like a girl with a good sense of humor. Thank you for that question and I'm happy to answer in this episode.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 60 - Pegging, Part 2: a female perspective
Pegging, Part 2: a female perspective. This episode was a hell of a lot of fun to record. I learned so much. My guest, HardToHandle is going by a pseudonym because while we are talking about pegging, she's also going to talk about her cam work, as she does live cam work online. That was a really fun conversation talking about some of her experiences with camming and how she is building that into a side hustle. We told some funny dating stories, some good, bad and ugly ones, including some stories about oral sex gone wrong and a story about champagne and anal play. So, I know you're going to enjoy this episode.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 59 - Pegging, Part 1: A male perspective
My guest, Tim, came on this show to discuss a lot of aspects of his sex life, his marriage, and his relationships outside of that. We talked about pegging, rimming, and basically all things anal play, non-monogamy, amateur porn, BDSM, and so much more. I've said on my show before that I do not believe that monogamy is the only way to structure a relationship. So, if you are a monogamous person, I would simply encourage you to approach this episode with an open mind. I am not here to judge how anyone lives their lives. I am simply here as a facilitator for honest conversations about what we actually do in the world when it comes to sexual expression and gratification. Let me know what you think about this conversation with Tim. You can email me Kristen@openthedoorscoaching.com or DM me on any of my social media channels, but I think you'll enjoy this conversation as it really is an honest and unique look at what it's like to find fulfillment for something that you really enjoy when your partner simply isn't into it.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 58 - Let the bra revolution begin!
With a title like "let the bra revolution begin," you might think that this episode is just for the ladies, but let me tell you, it is not just for breast owners. Gentlemen, I think you'll enjoy this episode because, I mean, come on... We talk about boobs, a lot, about boobs, a lot about tits. I even strip down and get fitted for a bra on this episode. So if you want to hear me talk about my tits, you'll enjoy this episode. But beyond that, Kerry Phillips is an entrepreneur. She has started her own fashion business, Firebrand Revolutionary Bras. We talked about the history of bras and their evolution, how you can make your own, how to make a bra fit properly, and we discussed an upcoming event called Bra Couture KC. I know you will enjoy this episode if you like talking about boobs. Feel free to send me anytime about episodes at Kristen@openthedoorscoaching.com.
Ep. 57 - Sitting with pain with Victoria Henderson
My guest today shared some very personal stories of abuse while brief and short on detail, some listeners should consider this their content warning. Victoria Henderson is a burgeoning life coach, a trauma survivor, and a student of the universe. I gave her that moniker. She did not give that to herself. I think that thats that's a great way to describe her. And I think you will too, after you listen to our conversation, she dealt with abuse from both family and partners, but the bulk of our conversation focused on healing and moving forward. I want to thank her for telling her story so perhaps, you know, for some of you listening, you can hear the hope in her words . I want to thank Allen Little, who is a life coach who introduced us.
Mentioned in the episode:
Find Keli Jackson at grownupsexed.com
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 56 - Pageantry and transparency with Miss Black Trans International Nyla Foster
Nyla Foster is a youth advocate, community leader, and political activist. She is the reigning Ms. Black Trans International. She sued the state of Kansas and won, making national headlines and she helps LGBTQ youth in crisis in Kansas city. We talked about her trans experience, what good sex is like, sex parties in Atlanta, and staying in her feminine energy. This is not a conversation to be missed!
Mentioned in the episode:
You can find Nyla at www.nylafoster.com, Facebook as Nyla Foster, or Instagram as @AfroPrepster
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon
Ep. 55 - Sex and dating after divorce with Timmy Gibson
Timmy Gibson, who is a fellow life and relationship coach here in Kansas city was on this episode of Keep Them Coming. I asked about his perspective about something - since he used to be a clergy person, I asked him what he thought about post-divorce celibacy. It was just an interesting topic to explore with someone who used to be a minister. We talked about divorce, building new lives altogether and even some of the stigma that that can hold for us as relationship, dating, and for myself, a sex coach. We talked a little bit about our perspectives on failure versus things just ending.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can find Timmy at Timmygibson.com
Ep. 54 - Clearing For Launch with Jennifer White
Have you ever felt completely stuck? As in, just paralyzed with fear and indecision, whether it’s about your relationships, your business, or both? Jennifer White is a fellow coach and entrepreneur and her focus with Clearing For Launch is not on launching new companies, but rather helping guide people through decision making to get some forward motion. We discussed ways we think gaining clarity can help your sex life and relationships. We also chatted about what effect relationship quality has on entrepreneurs and lessons learned from being intentional over the holidays.
Mentioned in the episode:
Jennifer and her company Clearing for Launch
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon and hear exclusive content from this interview.
Ep. 53 - Mojo Rising with Jessica Rousseau
Ayurvedic health counselor and entrepreneur Jessica Rousseau came on Keep Them Coming to talk about sex! Sexual energy is such an integral part of relationships for most people. We talked about seasonal cycles of our intimate lives, how pelvic floor therapy and coaching helped her overcome vaginismus, and we revisited the notion of the patriarchal mother (Ep. 48 Mama Sutra with Natasha Ria El-Scari).
Mentioned in the episode:
Find Jess on her website vedajess.com or on Instagram @vedajess or Facebook
Ep. 52 – Resolutions for your Relationship
As you head into a new year, a new decade even, there are some things you may want to consider before setting goals for you and your partner. Assessing the state of your relationship takes care and compassionate communication. I walk you through how to not let it turn into an argument, how to pick your priorities for a stronger relationship together, and how to keep that change going well beyond winter time.
Mentioned in the episode:
Mating in Captivity – Esther Perel
The 5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman
Hold Me Tight – Sue Johnson
The Power of Vulnerability – Brené Brown
Come As You Are – Emily Nagowski
Small Changes Big Shifts and Dr Michelle Robin – smallchangesbigshifts.com
Ep. 51 - Let's talk about sacral chakras, baby!
Christi Clemons Hoffman is a lifetime intuitive, teacher, and consultant whose passion is connecting people with their spiritual team. She’s a Reiki master, does hypnosis, and lives in Kansas City. We discussed our sacral chakras and how we often hold a lot of tension in that area due to shame and trauma. We also talked about how you can pull energy from your lovers, how you need to find someone who’s energy matches yours, as well as what akashic records are. You can catch Christi speak at the Good Living Expo (https://goodlivingexpo.com) or find her podcast on her website at Radiate Wellness (radiatewellnesscommunity.com), which is on iTunes, Google Podcasts, and more.
Ep. 50 - Advocating for Authenticity with Cici Glasgow
Cici Glasgow is the Outreach and Education manager at the KCAVP. This non- profit organization provides dedicated services and advocacy to LGBTQ+ victims and survivors of violence. She is also a member of Alpha Psi Kappa fraternity which is an organization for masculine of center lesbian women in various identities. She is also one of the hosts of Lez Be Real, a queer women identified podcast. CiCi has dedicated her life to liberating her community in any facet possible. Freeing herself from her traumas while dedicating her life to eliminating oppression in others’ is what she’s all about.
Mentioned in the episode:
Lez Be Real on Stitcher
Ep. 49 - Making Moves with Karla Martinez
Friend, fellow single lady, and total boss babe Karla Martinez joins me on the show today. She’s the co-host of Domingo-ing, a Spanglish podcast, creative writer, and strategic decision maker AKA corporate strategist by day, so of course we had to dissect some things like making the first move and qualities that we find desirable in a modern man. We also talked about what makes us swipe left or right, why it is so difficult to talk about sex and sexuality to our parents, and how to maintain friendships with the opposite sex.
Mentioned in the episode:
You can support Keep Them Coming via Patreon and hear exclusive content from this interview.
Ep. 48 - Mama Sutra with Natasha Ria El-Scari
In this powerful conversation about parents, kids, and sexuality, I was joined by author, poet, feminist, and all around super badass Natasha Ria El-Scari. She recently wrote a book called Mama Sutra, Love and Lovemaking Advice to My Son. Her son came to her and helped her see she should write about the honest and detailed discussions they had, because children are little sexual beings who will one day grow up to be fully functions sexual beings, so long as they are given the tools to be good lovers. Her book is filled with practical sex advice that some people learn the hard way, such as clipping your nails, what's penis size all about, and grooming of body hair. We discussed releasing taboos, dismantling the patriarchal mother, and coming to peace with the freak in side of us all. Seeing a mother as a sexual being, one that kids can learn from, teaches them agency, consent, desire, and how to give and receive pleasure.
Mentioned in the episode:
Natasha Ria El-Scari can be found on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
Visit her website at www.natasharia.com for more information about her work and how to contact her for readings and events.
Ep. 47 - Finding Love During the Holidays
Some people think it’s a terrible time to try to date. However, as a dating coach, I disagree! Have a listen for ideas about where to meet people, how to date during the holiday season, and what do do if you’re in a new relationship.
Ep. 46 - Dating app year end review with Miss Ugly Shoes
She's back! Lauren AKA Miss Ugly Shoes joins me again for a review of all the top dating apps and sites out there. She even shared some stats that one of the sites sent her. She totally nerded out with her research, and I was glad she came on to share what she found, along with some personal experiences. Of course I tell some stories, too! We got a little tipsy enjoying some eggnog together, so have fun laughing along with us, or at us, whichever.
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Ep. 45 - Mark your calendar if you want more intimacy
Many couples struggle with having the amount of sex and intimacy that they want. But how do you start having more sex? I offer a simple perspective to shift your mindset about scheduling sex.
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