Coffee with Kym

Today I talked about ways to pick a therapist. I speak a bit about my own experiences picking therapists and how I went about it, ranging from "go to therapy because someone said so" to "I'm ready to change some things in my life". Picking a therapist is hard, and you are not stuck to the first person you choose. Therapists understand that the relationship is crucial and they may not be the right fit for you. 

*Looking for therapists*

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A brief chat about how we show our love and compassion to others in our lives- specifically friendships. 

Learning to communicate with your romantic partner is hard work. Constructive I statements (set up as I feel __ about __. I need __.) can help you speak gently to someone about things that you need changed.

You are doing what you can in this very moment. Keep doing your best and offering yourself the grace you offer others even when you think you don't deserve it.

Learning to love yourself is hard, but I believe in you! Developing a sense of self and an identity all starts with finding the language to describe you.

Today we are talking about a very basic scribble art activity. This is designed to be approachable by all individuals and very simplistic in nature. You'll take 30 seconds to draw, eyes closed, a bunch of scribbles on your paper. After you open your eyes, look and see what comes to mind. This is designed to be something enjoyable, not something that requires high skills. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out! :) 

This highlights a simple mindfulness exercise that you can do anywhere at any time. It is an activity of connection and creativity to strengthen your ability to imagine and connect with that creative child within you. 

Today we talk about your history with art. What does it meant to you. The primary questions I ask are:

-What was the role of art in your life as a child?

-What beliefs did your family have about art?

-When you were a child what type of art did you do?

-What were any negative experiences you had with art as a child?

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Today I encourage you to just TRY an art exercise. Super simple drawing lines on paper with various pens/markers/pencils. This is a very low risk activity in just getting used to different art materials. I encourage you to give it a few minutes of your time, maybe listen to a good song and just give it a run. 

Today we're talking about all the different art-making *stuff*. I talk about the different tools of art ranging from the structured/rigid pen and pencil world all the up to the cool world of alcohol inks (my favorite). I encourage you to wander into an art store some day and just pick out one thing that looks interesting and play with it! (Or go outside and find cool things in nature to make into cool things that look neat.

Today we delve in to the broad topic of Expressive Arts Therapy. I'm a certified expressive arts therapist (cheers App state for offering such an awesome certificate program). In this episode I talk about what it means to bring art into the office and express your inner world beyond words. It's a pretty cool process! 

Today's episode is about the other side of the coin from negative feedback loops. Positive feedback loops (started by a catalyst of some form) elicit change and a push to a new negative feedback loop to a new homeostasis. A positive feedback loop simply means you are moving through the process of change! So, it may be uncomfortable, but know - you are making changes in your life and that is awesome! 

*Bunchy - a term once used by one of my mom's preschool special ed students to refer to their pants being wrinkled and twisted about their legs.

Today's episode is about starting a day feeling off and working on finding a way to bounce it back to a good day. I talk about grounding ideas and ways to return to homeostasis (your stable neutral). This (in marriage and family therapy world) is called a negative feedback loop. It is behaviors that return you back to that neutral. (It sounds bad, but it isn't I promise. If I could figure out how to link pictures on here I would - instead I will post one on my instagram for y'all to look at as how I visually represent negative feedback loops. 

Today I talk about my (second) favorite processing technique - train of thought writing. This is a pretty basic technique wherein you simply write out everything you're thinking. No filter, repetitive words are fine (and encouraged if that's what you're thinking). The beauty of externalizing your thoughts onto paper (or a word document) is that you can throw it away/delete it/burn it/what have you. The point is once it is out of your head and on a physical item you can manipulate it how you want. Edit your thoughts, throw them away, etc. I highly recommend you try this. It's pretty fun on less anxious days to let it all out and then throw it away or annotate your own thinking. 

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I decided to share my anxiety with you all today. This goes into my thought processes around anxious thoughts and what I do when I'm going through them. It is the process of reminding myself that I'm only human (previous episode for more on that), and that pushing away things like my anxiety won't inherently solve them. 

This episode is a small chatter about something I call thought webs. I'm sure there are other terms for it, but this is just what I've always called them. I focus on talking about how we get caught up in specific thoughts and through externalization (writing the thoughts down) you can give yourself the power to work on changing them. Invisible thought battles in your head are challenging and very hard to overcome. If you write things down it become easier to challenge the words on paper. 

This time I wanted to talk about this super broad topic Anxiety and my experience with it. I will provide further commentary on anxiety at later dates. This is a broad sweeping experience of anxiety in my life and how I cope with it.

This chat talks about how art and society are interconnected and shape one another. I explore the dynamics of anger and representation in the process of art.

This coffee chat goes into the dynamic of embracing geek-hood (my words for myself). Embracing the creative individual and what the arts has to offer as a process of expression.

Today's coffee chat is about gratitude and what it means to create a world of acceptance and validation. I talk a bit about the experience of the quick shut down of passion and the choices of making others feel accepted and seen. 

Today's episode focuses in on cultivating a life of celebration, gratitude, and love. I wanted to explore how we look at our worlds and use words to shape our existence. 

*Please note that I really try to keep things gender neutral but default to saying "you guys" as an inclusive. If you as a listener find this to be intrusive and something you really don't like, please let me know. I am trying to adjust to saying "y'all" as I do frequently, but it is definitely a hard habit to break. 

In this episode I briefly discuss my struggle with the intersection of professionalism and makeup. I have never been a makeup wearer and struggle with wanting to put it on my face every day. I am choosing to be bold in my desire to divert from the cultural norm and not wear makeup in my day to day professional setting. I also do my best to address the privilege I have in choosing to make this change and not put myself at too much risk in today's society. I am aware of how many dynamics play into the role of makeup and professionalism and all sides of the cube for my trans and GNC family. I did my best to strictly speak from my perspective as I can't imagine the way the world is shaped for others. As Always, would love to hear from y'all about your world experiences. 

*Title: Bob the Builder reference.

Today's episode is focused on building *things*. I am working on building a private practice in the therapy world. It is also a focus on forgiveness and acknowledging that these things build slowly. It is not an immediate reaction situation.

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