Living In The Third Degree With BPD
By Brad S.
** I do not have any professional experience with mental health all my knowledge is from my own research and living with someone with BPD. If you love someone who has BPD, remember...
“Love and understand them, because they find it so hard to understand and love themselves” - 2020 Brad
If you have questions or would like to be a guest on an episode, Email: thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com
Living In The Third Degree With BPDAug 28, 2021
#81 Is Rational Reasoning an oxymoron?
Some examples of effective ways that has worked in my relationship situation.
#80 Unlocking The Demon Within BPD
#79 The absence of compassion can lead to BPD thoughts.
Of infidelity from the person with BPD because they figure if you're not acting loving towards them and offering loving words that you must be offering all that to somebody else so that can be a huge trigger and either end up with them splitting or slowly leading into a much bigger and explosive argument either lasting the normal time that your person splits or any longer period of time.
So this is views and suggestions for my personal experiences in regards to the subject.
#78 Splitting and effective ways to control the argument.
#77 Lying, Impulsivly, Deflecting and Not Sorry.
#76 Dealing with Anhedonia when Combined with BPD.
#75 A BPD Favorite Person
#74 A defanged rattlesnake will still strike!
#73 An Unconventional Approach with Loving Tactics
#72 BPD Triggers of Love AND Hate...
#71 Characteristics of BPD during an argument.
#70 What have you got to lose? Try this suggestions to help turn BPD 180 Degrees.
#69 IMPORTANT: I have proof someone with BPD can do a 180!! Yes, even after 11 agonizing years!!!
#68 IMPORTANT EPISODE!!! This is about a Surprising BPD change for good and 8 Days of Heaven!
I DO NOT have any answer at all, I have not researched yet how this is possible but in the past and as with anyone with BPD, when stress or emotions are introduced they are known to split to avoid, deflect and distort reality to avoid dealing with the emotion, BUT to my surprise with her and to my surprise to how BPD works, she had experienced the most traumatic events over the past 6 months which she was turned away, abandoned, pushed away by friends, family and even her children... She lost every material possession she owned including her place to live, her and
there can be a significant change for the better for themselves and for the people involved in the life of the BPD because I have seen the sadness of the worst for my wife being inflicted with BPD and seeing such a good human being with so much love and caring not only for me but everyone in her life including strangers!
There has been over a 100 things I have said and done weather it was actions, words, songs etc. that in the past would have triggered an episode being small to a full blown episode which in the past made me walk on eggshells and even then it was a crap shoot, and with the most traumatic events she sustained over the past 6 months from losing her home, every possession she owned including her pets, being homeless, being pushed out and abandoned by her friends and even own child and feeling lower than ever in her life and finally contemplating suicide and landing in the behavioral health ward twice at 2 separate hospitals in less than a month and coming out of it being the most thoughtful, amazing human being that I have know and grown to love then being robbed of all that because of BPD taking over her mind, but if all this that happened to her, someone diagnosed with full blown BPD, even I thought it was could to either suicide or that I would be the devil in her mind to hate and see to it that her presence was never to be around me and forget me forever, yet to my surprise she has subsided her BPD and has been more loving, thoughtful and super amazing than I remember ever in years and years even before her diagnosis of BPD, I cant explain it... I have to research more on how this might have turned a 180 for the better, but until then, Im ever so grateful and thankful and want to take advantage of every blessed minute of this amazing woman that I gave my heart to 34 years ago, and if her BPD surfaces I still will be there there to love her and support her as I have always tried my best, but even more now than ever!
THERE IS HOPE OUT THERE! Trust me when I tell you that if she is capable of Turing a 180 ANYONE can do it!
#67 Their last interaction is how they perceive you.
#66 360 degree of hate and negative emotions
#65 fueling the demon
#64 Trauma Bond Relationship Signs
#63 A war during a nuclear disaster!
#62 Interview With My BPD Wife! - PART 1
#61 Trying a different approach when accused will give you a different result...
#60 The Hypochondriac BPD
#59 My 9 Hours In Heaven
#58 My Secret Digital Identy
#57 Anticipation and Impatiently Waiting!
#56 Listener Email "Taking teasing to another level into his own hands!"
#55 Writing a letter to your loved one, with the useful outline...
#54 After 6 weeks of heaven I was sent to hell! #WTFONCEAGAIN
#53 Back together again! (for now...)
#52 My visit after almost 3 months Also being our anniversary of 34 years
This episode deals with the incidents on my last visit at my wife's house after almost 4 months of not seeing her and having her ignore any of my phone calls text and attempts to visit her it lasted less than 72 hours of her sending me away once again only because I repeated myself twice which is part of her delusions that if I'm repeating myself I'm repeating it for somebody else other than her, PLUS we met June 20th 1987 so this was our 34 year anniversary!
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS ******* Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#51 First Interview! With my son Matt speaking about growing up in the dynamics of a BPD family
#50 Honey You Foiled My Plan!!!
This is a few tips and tricks you can try to use that work for me when you're being accused of something before it actually happens it's kind of a reverse psychology but letting her know however she wants to take it but to look at reality and it can prove if you're guilty but also it can prove how much you really love him/her.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS ******* Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#49 Bite your tongue and bite the bullet!
I'd like to give some advice to win somebody with BPD or even doesn't have BPD and when they're accusing you rather than blasting back at them and having an unnecessary argument try to take these tips that I'm giving you it's worked in many times that I've had arguments with my wife about her accusing me of cheating I'm not saying it'll work 100% of the time but even if it works once that's one less fight you have to have with somebody that you love.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com
******** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS *******
Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#48 Listener Email Telling me it's not my fault for being abused
This is a very special episode to me, this is a listener who's email I read on a previous episode and he tells me the abuse is not my fault even though I have blamed myself even publicly. I want to thank him for his thoughtful response!
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com
******** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS *******
Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#47 Men Hurt Too!
Men by societies standard are supposed to e strong, not cry, deal with not being loved or having affection, that is all women stuff right? WRONG! Men are equal with needs and hurt and sometimes leads to suicide because of having to hide or suppress those feelings of shame.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ****** **
AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#46 A new approach when looking for forgiveness
After listening to many other podcasts and reading material not just on BPD but marriage in general I have some tips that I picked up in pieces to put together in one episode to share with you.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com
******** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR MY LISTNERS *******
Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#45 Connecting the dots Part 2
We dont understands all the time how to communicate with our loved ones and its even harder with BPD! I have put together some facts and personal feelings into making wrongs into rights, it maybe be too late for mem, but I hope it's not for you.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ****** ** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#44 Connecting the dots correcting wrongs to rights
We dont understands all the time how to communicate with our loved ones and its even harder with BPD! I have put together some facts and personal feelings into making wrongs into rights, it maybe be too late for mem, but I hope it's not for you.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ****** ** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#43 All black and white ignoring the gray
no matter how much you speak or write to someone with BPD about anything between the black and white they will ignore due to there is no middle ground with BPD.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ****** ** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel! https://www.amazon.com/hz/audible/mlp/membership/plus?ref_=assoc_tag_ph_1524216631897&_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=pf4&tag=eggshellpod09-20&linkId=c2ccdbcfbc874edb7e88243891afdc1d
#42 Emails that listeners send in to thank me
#41 Paranoid Delusional Stories (Part 3)
My wife had paranoid delusions and it would be the silliest noise, sound or situation that would send her into a whirlwind and argue sometimes embarrassing us both in public and sparking a stormy fight that sent me sleeping in my car or elsewhere. This will be just one of many collections of stories that I will include in my collection.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#40 A look into season 2 - Starting with Family and children affected by BPD
I figured I would start with Family and children affected by BPD, with the statistics of my listeners age group and emails that I have gotten Im surprised that I mostly hear about a girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife but very, very rarely talk about family life and/or children involved and the impact that BPD has had on them or even the fact of listeners who were affected living in a household with BPD affected one of their parents or even one of the children being diagnosed with BPD.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#39 Listener Email: His Girlfriend has Paranoia and delusional episodes.
This episode is about a listener who his girlfriend had paranoia and delusional thoughts and actions and related to my mentioning how my wife had the same actions and he requested that I record episodes sanded on this subject.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#38 BPD the Cancer of the mind that keeps living
This episode is how I compare someone that is diagnosed with cancer, they are given a time that their life might expire and both of you are prepared and see the physical downhill of losing their life, but with BPD it takes their life away from you mentally but they continue to live on just like being an empty shell of someone you don't know anymore! After my wife was diagnosed I slowly saw her slipping away into someone I didn't know after 34 years being completely a stranger and Finally someone completely different.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#37 Runaway Thoughts, Perceptions and Misconceptions with time
This episode touches on my thought that the longer that me and my wife were apart from an argument that the time apart collected negative boundaries that makes it harder and harder to return back into her life even when the negatives have nothing to do with me.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#36 Paranoid Delusional Stories (Part 2)
My wife had paranoid delusions and it would be the silliest noise, sound or situation that would send her into a whirlwind and argue sometimes embarrassing us both in public and sparking a stormy fight that sent me sleeping in my car or elsewhere. This will be just one of many collections of stories that I will include in my collection.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#35 When their favorite person is someone else
Most people with BPD have a favorite person which I use to be my wife's FB but since we separated and got a divorce she had a new FP and even thopugh it was a 6 month fling this person has threatened the polic on her, called her every name in the book and begged her to stay away but she is obsessed with this person and it is inhibiting us getting back together because she wants more than anything for this FP instead of me.
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#34 Putting yourself in their shoes by trying alternatives
These are a collection of some tips that I gathered by researching online or listening to audio books that I have tried in situations with my wife (who has BPD) and they have worked many times and I wanted to offer them to you. If YOU HAVE BPD: I would suggest that you think of situations in the past or that may arise and try turning the tables and think of the examples I put in place and IF YOU ARE A NON-BPD maybe you should try these tips if you care enough about the person in your life with BPD and if you ant to end a cycle of the same outcome.
These tips may not only help upcoming situations BUT they may end a situation that is a reoccurring situation but you can try to end the cycle with a new approach for a better outcome.
Good luck to all and remember... If you have BPD, you are still a good person, you are special and beautiful! You are loving, caring and compassionate but what might make you question all these good things about yourself is people with BPD generally have a more harsh side then people who don't so with the over the top tantrums, the nasty harsh things you say to your partner it may overshadow the good person that you really are, so if you want to feel better about yourself and have a happier and healthier relationship you need to work on yourself and then the good in you will shine!
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
*** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!
#33 You can't change someone else, no matter how hard you try!
It's true that you cannot change someone else, but you can change yourself and how to cope and work better with the person with BPD as well as changing the circumstances and the situation to an extent. But I have always believed that when 2 people love each other you don't always have to sacrifice because its easier to compromise.
This episode also has some tips on little things I have done to help add some spark into the relationship which does NOT always have to be with a partner who has BPD, listen and you will see it can help ANYONE!
****** Please feel free to send me an email with questions, comments or feedback to thirddegreepodcastnh@gmail.com ******
*** AUDIBLE.COM SPECIAL FOR LISTNERS *** Click the link below for a special for our listeners! ONE FREE MONTH of audible.com and 2 FREE AUDIBLE BOOKS which are YOURS TO KEEP FOREVER even if you decide to cancel!