Welcome to The KunikaRathore Audio Show, hosted by woman entrepreneur, CEO, vlogger, and speaker Kunika Singh Rathore. Everything thing we go through everyday is an opportunity that can be bagged by a method or rule wether it’s mental health or business. You will learn those methods or rule here with me. On this podcast you will find episodes of #AgencyLifeWithKunika show on marketing, branding, technology and business and on another series #MentalYouWithKunika is about the basic mental issues to the major mental breakdown anything that is making us uncomfortable but we don’t talk about it.
There is a whole logical cycle to delete a memory obviously the one we want to delete is the bad one. In this episode I am sharing the whole legit process of that with the science behind it. Now quickly hop to the episode :)
It’s ok to have a new dream
It is ok to have a new passion
It’s ok if it is not working out
It is ok if the job you have been dreaming about since your school days doesn’t excites you anymore
It is ok if you are 40 and want to start over again
But it’s not ok to still being there after knowing that you don’t belong to that place
WE all have some guilty pleasures or habits in life that we really want change or delete but It doesn’t seems so easy as it sounds
It can be of eating, drinking, smoking or staying with negative people.
And There is a tomorrow that we all have that never comes when we will actually start working on changing these habits.
And I am not saying that I have always been so pro in this, I also have been through this cycle
Where I also used to think or fool myself that I can drop this habit anytime. But in reality the only things that used to get dropped is the idea to try drop my habit.
Ok I think it is a lot of criticism for now let’s jump to the topic
before I get into the process I wanna you to know we can never delete a habit just like that from our life, It took a large amount of time for your brain to build up this habit. once we learn it then it is there in our nervous system .
Now your head must be popping up with some questions
and the answer to all the questions is one that we don’t need to delete it from inside. We just need to change it .
And I haven’t discovered this solution it is from a book that was written after a careful study and research
So we just don’t directly jump into doing something
But there is a 3 step procedure we or our brain follow to complete any task.
We start from cue then routine and then reward
So to start anything activity we need a cue and then we do the routine we have set to receive the reward after completing the task
let me give you a very basic example for this let say we eating food - we start from feeling hungry which is the cue here and then we eat food the routine and satisfaction we receive after that is the reward
But how can we stop this cycle ?
Changing the routine that’s where we need to work and we call it Habit reversal therapy
We need to find the craving that is driving our behaviour and what reward we receive after the routine
And change your routine according to them
Let’s say you have a habit of smoking so
If you want to stop smoking ,ask yourself, do you do it because you love nicotine or because it provides a burst of stimulation or structure to your day or a way to socialise ?
And if because of the stimulation then replace the routine with
a quick sets of pushups or Stretch
Find another routine that can provide king of similar rewards. And replace it with the current
But remember this therapy can help you to change your habit but you have to be disciplined and consistent with the new routine.
It’s impossible to understand women
You can never know what’s going on inside a women’s
they don’t say what they actually mean
Girls can talk for hours
A happy woman is a myth
Women asks for equality but also wants special treatment
And many more like this that women gets to hear from every second person and I am not saying that these are not true they all are but not the way people say it or think
and in this episode I am going to give you that another view of some of these statements that people give like if they are getting paid for it.
And also about how to understand women
What they say or do and what they actually mean?
from now our Friday episode is going to be a little different.
I want to make it a little interesting for you people
so From now instead of having a normal conversation episode we are going to have a Friday activity episode
where I will give you task to work closely with you to make you smile and feel enough and after completing the task you have to send me your videos, texts or picture messages anywhere we are connected through and I am also attaching the links to connect with me at the bottom of description :)
So Let’s start from today -
It’s father’s day this Sunday so this Friday activity is going to be for all the loving fathers and for their unconditional love.
As we all know. that Father’s are not really good at expressing love or care but nobody loves you or cares for you more than him and he has it’s own ways of showing it.
They are the real Santa and the super hero for us :)
They always keep our needs first and try to give us the best life possible. He made us what we are today and don’t ask us anything in return. We usually praise mothers more when it comes to sacrifice, love or care but I think father is not anyway behind in that it’s just he does everything silently.
He sacrifice and adjust all his life to give us whatever we asked for or not asked for but he knows
He is the one who choose our happiness over his own
He will wear anything but will het us the best clothes or the one we want
He Gave us the best education possible
Who always taught us to live with respect and
Who smiled when we did something great and taught us the lesson when does something wrong
Who made me what I am today
So Let’s just be a little more nice to the human being who has been so good to us even when we were not and taking all our tantrums and sometime our frustrations when it’s not even because of him.
Okay so let’s hop on to the activity because this will never end.
So the activity is - make him smile.
I am giving you 3 options here just select what you can and let’s make our power pillars smile.
- Cooking one his favourite dishes if you know how to cook
- Arrange a movie date with him but at home of his choice
- a good massage section for him wihile Talking to him about his life when he was young and share a little about yours or take any suggestion from him about something he is proud of
Most important tell him that you love him and appreciate for what all he has done for you and no one can take his place :)
And do share your picture, story or video with me so that I can show it to my dad and make him smile too.
So before I really start crying let’s end this episode here and go and celebrate it with his and this time his happiness over ours and his smile over everything
Let’s make him smile :)
Voice message link - https://anchor.fm/kunikarathore/message
Instagram - @kunikarathoree
Nowadays everyone tells each other that you should love yourself and it is the ultimate peace
And let’s accept this that we are also one of them and we also tell people the same thing that how they should love themselves
Yes we all know that how other people should love themselves but did we realise that we don’t know how to love ourselves
so do you really think this is self love ? Shouldn’t it be about ourself first
Aren’t we faking it all the time ? Or fooling ourselves ?
okay let me ask you this - tell me something about yourself ?
And it’s not an interview so don’t give me your biodata , I am asking about what you like ? What makes you happy ?
And I am looking for and answer that defines you
And If you were blank the second I asked this question to you then you know what it is all about
and some of you might not be able to answer this question right now because that’s something you have never given a thought about
and that’s one steps towards knowing what self love is actually about
It is not our fault here actually we have seen this all our life just around us, nobody ever talked about what self love is and that we are enough,
Instead we have seen that you always need someone else to feel loved
Our families always taught us that you will feel happy and complete once you have someone in your life to love you care for you
you need a partner to be happy,
We have learned to be dependent on someone else for even the basic decisions in our life
When we were young it was our parents and after that it is our partner we just need someone to decide for us that what we are going to do with our life
And we never got a chance to think what we love or like ?
And I am not saying that you should live alone shouldn’t be in a relationship or shouldn’t get married that is also important but I am saying that you should not do it for care or to be loved or to take decisions
It should be an ad on to what you already have or to share it
But how to love yourself suddenly when the whole life we have been doing just opposite to it
So self love is not a one day thing you can’t change a habit that you have been building for years now
It is a journey where you will gradually learn to fall in love with you where you will be enough for you and ready to take your decisions and being responsible for it
but you need to give some time to it
Let’s start with introducing ourself to us
asking us - who we are ? What we like or dislike ?
And here we need to be very much honest with ourself
N Add one by one to our routine whether it is reading, cooking, dancing or anything
One thing at one time
and give it 21 days
then add another thing and keep on adding one in every 21 days interval
And never change or adjust for anyone let them accept you as the real you :)
Then start disconnecting yourself from the people not everyone at one go but gradually and spend that time with yourself
And slowly decrease the time of you being available for everyone every time
I mean be there when they need you but not for the one who talk to you only when they need you
Prioritise your things
so write everyday what you want to accomplish and don’t write 100 things
Start with few and start with the ones that you can complete early.
Note your growth and celebrate every small thing about you.
and yes the most important just forgive yourself for all the mistakes and accept your short comings and focus work on your strengths
And when you will become parent just keep in mind to teach your child that love starts from self.
That’s all for today guys
Hope this helps
Keep listening and sharing with the people who you think need to hear this and believe what I said -
love K !
one thing that we master while becoming an adult is hiding how we actually feel.
so when someone ask us “How are you ?”
without giving it a thought how you are actually feeling in that particular moment your answer would be “I am fine”
And the most weird part is that the one who is asking you this would also be expecting this only
Nowadays nobody is actually interested in knowing how you feel and somewhere unconsciously you also know this because you are also a part of that league
there are times we actually feel low from inside, will spend all day having a proper noted discussion with our mind about it
and still won’t share it with anyone
But sometimes all we actually need is to talk
Talk about all the discussions that are happening inside us.
Sometimes all we need is someone who just can listen without judging us or who can tell us exactly what we already know but denying the whole time
it’s true because we become so much biased when it is about us
So we try to find every possible reason to stick to that thing and sometimes not even need that reason
And we are so weird that when we feel bad we do certain things that will make it worse listening to sad music and relating ourself to it
and it just doesn’t happens when we feel bad but also when we feel good
Nos we don’t do things to make us feel better
We still manage to turn anything good into bad
by making a proper list in our mind that how it can get worse and will feel worse for the things that haven’t happened yet.
I mean even if things turn out bad as per any. one of the way from your list says
Then don’t you think so you are going to go through the same pain twice
So shouldn’t we put our mind to rest and let the things actually happen and let us embrace that little surprise
and what if something good happens
we think We don’t share because somewhere we don’t want to go through that pain or embarrassment but actually we are already going through it by thinking about it
then why we don’t share
what is the actual reason behind that
The reason is we don’t want to let people know the effect they make on us
We somewhere feel that being in pain or showing that we care will make us look weak and people might not value us the way they do
But if they do value you more because of the same reason that you care.
It needs to come out to let you feel free.
and Its ok to feel bad
It is an emotion that exists in you. But it’s not the only one
We complicate things by giving them more attention than they require
Just ask yourself can you do something about it if yes then do it and if no then accept n let it go
Move on to something else
You know what you actually can control is you so change yourself.
And one mistake we all do is that we don’t communicate
I mean if they don’t know what the problem is then how can you expect them to fix it just share
Not asking you to share every small thing you are going though like your stomach cramps but to share how they made you feel just communicate
And don’t tell every second person that what kind of problem you are having with them but to the ones who really are effecting you
And if you don’t like something speak because that’s how you can fix it
And I want to give you the three best advices
If you really want to happy and in peace.
if you are putting special efforts for anyone don’t expect something in return but you can expect the basic rituals of every relationship that’s a must.
And give every relationship it’s freedom to explore don’t bound it with rules
And third everyone and everything people, work, passion or hobby is a part of your life don’t make it your life :)
So guys communicate.
is it right ?
To ask someone for help
telling someone the truth
Taking first step towards somebody
Saying sorry first
To let it go and leave
To not to make any efforts
To have sex before marriage
Is it right ?
This is the question we keep asking to ourselves in different ways from initiating a conversation to the big life changing decisions
We try to just fit into the right or wrong we have seen or heard from the people around us
is there anything like universal right for every situation that everyone will accept
is there any team sitting somewhere who is deciding the right or wrong for everyone and releasing the guidelines time to time ?
I know it sounds funny but in everyone’s head there is those 4 people or the society whom they don’t even know
make a huge impact on the decisions they make.
But I believe there is nothing like right or wrong
It’s what you believe or like
let me give you a little real view of it
For some people smoking is not right and for some it gives them peace
For some wearing short clothes is not right and for some it’s the the way they like it or feel comfortable in
For some having sex before marriage is wrong and for some it’s another way of showing love
So who is wrong or who is right ?
Cann’t decide right ?
right is different for everyone according to their beliefs or likes
Some people just say it out loud and most of the others just accept what society decides for them.
Where do you see yourself between these two ?
It’s your life and shouldn’t you be deciding what you should do with it ?
Why to do something just to be accepted
Don’t you think so your decisions should be based on what makes you feel happy or allow your conscience to be in peace
If it is right for you then it is right no matter who thinks what
It’s your life and only your are responsible for it
any decision you have taken keeping your happiness on priority is right
you are not being selfish at all
to spread or give happiness to the people around you
Don’t you think so you should be happy first ?
It is more like if you have water in your glass then only you can pour it to other people.
So the next time you ask yourself this question instead of thinking about the acceptance of the people around you think is it going to make you happy
But what if we are unable to understand what is right or wrong
whenever you don’t know or get stuck just see the situation through three parameters :
- Is it going to get me peace or happiness
- Is it going to teach me something good
- Is it going to get me money
And if it is a yes for any of these then you know why it is right :)
But still it is right for you only.
It will be wrong if you force someone to do what you think is right
Whether it’s your parents, partner, friends or colleague or anyone
You can suggest and leave it up to them to make the decision
But choose what makes you happy and it will come out right to you.
That’s all for today Guys see you on Friday now :)
Hope this helps.
Yeah that person exactly that person who is still running in your mind - doesn’t care about me
and there you go - again you woke up late
It’s not right but it feels perfect
How did she got so many followers so early ?
Should I tell mom that I don’t wanna study but dance
I can’t ask him to to stop doing this, I am not that control freak partner
She won’t let me do it if I will ask her n I am not doing anything wrong
Let’s do it tomorrow with fresh mind
Finally It’s Friday, where are we going after office ?
Wait sorry we are still in lockdown.
So these are some of those few unsaid words that always cross our mind but never our mouth
except this Friday point I miss my office days sometimes.
Anyway so these little conversations with our mind or heart we never share with anyone
because we somewhere have a fear of being judged
or we think that it’s not that important
but these unsaid wishes keep running in our unconscious mind
which hit us when we are alone specially at night
which is our minds favourite time to exercise overthinking
which slowly converts them from little not so important wishes to a reason for depression or anxiety
And we still won’t talk about it because we think “I am not mental or psycho I don’t need help for this it’s just a thought I am cool”
and it will still live inside you and willm become stronger and soon unmanageable as well
so I thought why not I put some light on it.
So here I am with my series “mental you with kunika”
where I will be talking about our day to day unsaid wishes or major mental breakdown
and will share some exercises, solutions or just a little talk that can gradually put all this to an end.
And very important I would love to take up your suggested topics or I say “unsaid wishes story” and help you work on them.
You can hear me every alternate day and I take-up the responsibility to listen to you n make you smile :)
I know it will add value to your life
Keep listening and sharing to help people and increase my listeners as well.
When was the last time you googled something and the second you left google and open instagram or facebook you can see the ads in the middle of your feeds giving you the options for what you did search for
Yes that’s what I am talking about
Ok I know this is something you might have heard before or this isn’t something new but next thing I am gonna talk about is
have you ever thought how google was able to tell all your social accounts that this is what you wants even before you could open your app ?
That’s modern marketing I mean that’s what I like to call it
Okay let’s talk about the shoes video ad that made you emotional
Yeah I know it sounds so weird how a shoe ad can make you cry ?
but that did happen and we call it a successful creative video production
Hmm did you check that hoarding or banner when you could go out
where nothing was written but you were able to get the message
What do you think you are that smart or the brand is
it’s our creative team who made their way to your mind with art of designing
Let me ask you this way
Nike - why do you think or get a feeling of an athlete when you hear this name
That’s the power of branding.
that’s how they wanted you to remember or attach yourself to their brand
These are the very small but relatable briefs of what companies like mine do but behind everything you see there is a huge team that works together to make any campaign or project successful
So I thought why not share all the methods with you that we all have learned while working with the great brands like Apple, Bose, Emirates, Unilever, horlicks, and so on…
Here on this series - its about you with kunika you will find everything about what a company and it’s member does from getting the client, pitching for what they want, developing a marketing plan, writing the script or designing the hoarding and delivering the final assets
and specially the role of every team member to make any project or campaign successful.
My team will be helping me in this with their years experience in the industry
Be ready to hear me every weekend to learn and apply it from the Monday itself.
Hope it will add value to your life
Keep listening and sharing to help people and increase my listeners as well.