Welcome to the official Laguna Biotch podcast where I (Kelli) take you for a trip down memory lane. Going through each episode of Laguna Beach and The Hills I offer all of the background secrets I have learned throughout the years.
I also cover Very Cavallari, pop culture, and anything else you can imagine.
With Heidi's birthday party coming, you know that it's about to be a big ol drama fest! Will Audrina be invited to the party? Will Lauren and Brody finally kiss? There are so many things that could possibly happen!
Brad & Jen
Bullying in the work place
Well, Lauren does a great job at a photo shoot and gets to go on a date with a new hottie. Heidi has a pregnancy scare and Spencer takes it surprisingly well.
- Justin Bieber and Lyme disease
- Jessie James Decker Drama
- Very Cavallari
- Meghan & Harry
- Floribama Shore
Well, the summer is over and we are on to season two of The Hills. Lauren didn't go to Paris, Whitney did (she didn't really but okay), Heidi has a new man, and Audrina is enemy number one! A lot has changed in Los Angeles and we are getting set up for a season full of drama!
-One Tree Hill
This is it, the end of season the first season of the iconic series The Hills. Lauren is offered an internship in Paris but is supposed to spend her summer with Jason. What on earth will she choose? There is also an appearance from someone who meet in the later seasons that I completely forgot about! Heidi is excited to be single, Audrina is just as excited. Remember everyone, always choose Paris.
- Floribama Shore
- The Challenge
- Camilla Cabello
- Pop culture stories of the year
Well, the time has come for Heidi and Jordan to officially be dunzo. After she realizes he doesn't really speak to her in the kindest manner she admits that she can no longer be with him. Lauren gives her bestie some advice and drops one of the most iconic quotes in the entire series while she is doing it. This episode is a very Heidi heavy episode with a lot of tears flowing. We also find out some interesting news about Lauren's summer, she wants to spend it with Jason in a beach house! How will Heidi feel about that?
-Romcom life update
- A look into celebrity "blinds"
- Very Cavallari Christmas Special
It is Lauren's 20th birthday and all that she wants is a drama free night with Jason! Will that happen? Come on, we all know that there's no way a birthday can go down without any drama. Jason spins into a jealous rage when he finds out that Lauren had to work with male swimsuit models. The whole episode revolves around Jason and his jealousy. There's definitely trouble in paradise.
-I also get into the Very Cavallari drama that is starting to heat up on social media
-Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon
-What I'm watching
-Dealing with the holidays
-My 10 years reunion
The holiday season is happening on The Hills! What did Jason get Lauren for Christmas? Will Heidi get the puppy she's always dreamed of? The anticipation is killing me! No holiday can go on in Los Angeles without drama though, right? Jason and Lauren get into a pretty serious fight after Lauren gets a phone call from an ex crush. Jason spins into a jealous rage but realizes his mistake after Jordan yells some sense into him. Will he make it to be Lauren's first real New Years kiss?
-Going to a party and not knowing anyone
-Dealing with the holidays
It is Heidi and Jordan's six months anniversary but unfortunately, Heidi has to work! She finally gets to work at clubs but it is ruining the anniversary that she had planned with her main man Jordan. What is a girl to do? Speaking of what is a girl to do, Lauren forgives Jason for being a clown at his birthday so they're on good terms again. Lauren is very busy with Whitney dealing with a DKNY/Teen Vogue fashion show. When one model fails to show up though, guess who steps in to take her place!
Also covered on this episode
-My Kohls experience
- Pete & Kaia
-Holidays being tough
-RomCom life update
Lauren and Jason are back on but she has to work on his birthday! Can you believe that Lauren has to work on her boyfriend's birthday? Well, neither can she. If you want to have a fun drinking game while rewatching this episode (on hulu or Amazon Prime) I highly suggest you take a drink every time she mentions Jason's birthday. While she works he plays gold and then they head to his birthday dinner. Will it crash and burn? Will he be rude about her missing the day part of his birthday? On another note, Audrina has a date with a model named Danny and Brian is very jealous about it.
As always I tackle a few different things other than Laguna and The Hill. Well, kind of. We talk about Mischa Barton and how I am worried about her, Heidi Montag and her wine bottle, and Jelena.
I give some advice about how to survive a holiday party at work, how to try and have healthier relationships with addicts in your life, and how to grow an Instagram page, among other things.
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If there is one thing that is for sure, it is that Heidi really hates her job. This episode is all about how Heidi wants to quit because it is not what she thought it was. The other half of this episode? Lauren goes back to Jason, that's right. Even though she saw him kiss Jessica, Lauren wants to give it one more chance. Did she change the bad boy? Will Jason kiss another girl in front of her? All of that is very much up in the air.
I also talk about Jenelle Evans, Brody and Josie, along with a few other key topics!
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Heidi starts her job with Bolthouse Productions and it isn't exactly what she thought it would be. Full Time? Having to stuff envelopes? Horrible! Lauren gets to fly to New York but it isn't the trip that she expected and when she comes home she has an unexpected call from a ghost from the past. Audrina and Brian go out on a date, so how does that go? There's a lot to get into in this episode!
I also go into why Kelly and Kristin had a falling out and my thoughts on the Jen Bunney and Lauren fall out.
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What happens when Heidi gets a job and decides to quit school? Well, Lauren isn't very pleased with her bestie to say the least.
I find out what happened to the cast of Buckwild, I give some luke warm tea on Audrina's new man, and catch you up on my rom-com life.
Shannon Ford formally of Very Cavallari currently of @ProbablyShannonFord joined me this week on the podcast! It starts off with us ordering our Pad Thai which was supposed to be just us sound checking, but I decided o keep it because it was a very natural conversation about food, spice, and sex. During the podcast we talk about how she really felt about her "villain" role on Very Cavallari, how to get over a friend breakup, what song would describe her, among many other things. We also get to find out which Very Cavallari cast member she would want to be stuck in an elevator with.
This podcast was brought to you by two bottles of champagne and a shot of tequila.
We are now onto The Hills, arguably one of the most iconic reality shows of all time. Will Lauren get the internship at Teen Vogue? Will Heidi be able to stay in school? Who in the world is Audrina? There are so many questions!
Truthfully, the first episode of the series is very quick but a great way to introduce us to Lauren's new life in Los Angeles.
I also give my thoughts on Ronnie, The Challenge, and an update on why my RomCom life is dunzo.
That's it, Laguna Beach is officially dunzo. Well, there is that season 3 but I have decided not to take a deep dive into it. We go over the final episode of Laguna season 2, we laugh, we cry, and we realize how old we are because there is a payphone.
On top of Laguna we talk about the national treasure that is Brittany Snow, the Carter Family drama, along with a few pieces of advice from myself.
Now that Fight the Slide 2005 has cleared, it is time to come back to reality. Jason did in fact kiss Jessica, Lauren really did witness it, so how will she deal with it? She will throw a party and invite everyone except for the two of them. Even Kristin is invited!
I also spill a lot of Very Cavallari tea and talk about the controversial 9/11 post that Kristin put up.
-I am very sorry for the random placement of Alex singing Hello, I forgot about it and then had to add it-
Okay, now that I got that PSA out of the way, let's talk about some PDA! What does the cast of Laguna do when there is a really bad landslide in their town? They create a benefit called Fight the Slide 2005! As you can imagine, nothing in Laguna can be done without some drama and this episode has plenty of it.
LC watches Jason kiss Jessica then continues to run a fashion show after it, Dieter is ready to fight Jason but doesn't and Jessica is pretty positive she never had a chance to even kiss Jason. This episodes walked so every other episode of reality TV could run.
After the episode I talk a little bit about what I call the "dark days" of my early 20's and then hope to remind everyone that they are not alone.
All good things must come to an end, like high school. The gang graduates and it is way more emotional than season 1, don't fight me on that. We find out what everyone got for graduation gifts which is the most important thing. Will Casey and Alex M make up? Will Kristin gain the freshman 15?
Things are just starting to really heat up in Laguna though, and by in Laguna I mean between LC and Jason. Will he change for her?
On another note, I talk about the Backstreet Boys concert, Trisha and Aaron, Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes, and answer the question about Kaylor (well kind of).
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A little bit different than the typical Laguna podcast but as a Swiftie I felt it was my job to talk about her newest album Lover. It came out almost a week ago but I wanted to be able to really listen and enjoy before dove headfirst into the album!
I hope you all enjoy!
What better way to start a summer than with a BBQ at the Conrad Castle? Let's add some burgers, red solo cups, and a jacuzzi. Wait, who is LC dating?! The whole entire world of Laguna is shaken when we find out who is macking on LC. They find each other really cute though. Oh and as for Kristin? She doesn't have time for boys, she is too busy checking out her new car!
As far as the rest of the episode I go into why I think my friend's boyfriends don't like it, how I accidentally started some Instagram drama, and I give you an update on my rom-com life drama, or it's actually becoming a drama, I think.
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Well it's finally here, the last dance for all of the seniors that will be graduating. Will Talan ask Kristin to prom or is it a proposal? Will Alex M be cool with Jason taking sophomore Cami? There are so many questions that we need answers to! I give a little behind the scenes info of who was really dating who during this time and there are even sound clips! We are moving on up.
I also dive into the Kaitlynn, Brody, and Miley saga, I am still not totally sure what's going on but I am here for it. You will also find out why I feel like my life is currently a Rom-Com.
It is finally here, the fiesta is here! Alex H and Kristin throw a raging fiesta but decide to leave a few people off of the guest list. Kristin also does something when she's not thinking right. We get a little Stephen and LC moment in San Fran! It's definitely a very fun episode with just the right amount of drama!
I also go on a bit of a rant about how I feel about each of the Teen Moms.
Well, for starters lets talk about the fact that Kristin is going to San Fran to see Stephen and isn't going to tell Talan! What is going on with that? Casey spreads a sick little rumor about Alex M and Alex M takes my spot as one of the MVPs of the whole season, along with another brunette you guys may know.
Other than the episode I talk about the Heidi and Justin Bobby Christian song, how to deal with one sided friendships, Taylor Swift of course, and my Chelsea Handler moment over the past weekend.
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It is Cabo round two for Kristin and the rest of the cast! We step back into the same hotel and gross clubs that we did the season before. The only difference is that Jessica and Alex M get into it rather than Stephen and Kristin.
This is honestly A+ television and I am more than happy to cover it!
So here we are three episodes into The Hills Reboot and I don't think that I am loving it. Instead of breaking the episode down scene by scene I kind of just ramble off how I feel, what I like and what I don't like about it.
What happens when Jason and Alex become official, well, it doesn't go well. There's a bonfire which means drama, Cami walks in on something, and Jason continues to be the worst. Okay, well Jessica kind of becomes the worst too!
I talk a bit about The Hills: New Beginnings and friend issues.
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Well, Jason and Jessica are officially over which means Jason and Alex M can officially be together. What does Jessica do? She calls him a million times while she is in Mammoth with her friends! Kristin and Talan flirt, Alex H calls her out, and Lauren finds out Stephen took Kristin out on Valentine's Day.
I also talk about what would happen if it was a true teen drama with hot snowboard instructor Johnny.
Okay, I also dive into the Taylor Swift stuff, just a little bit, talk about my first concert, and a few other things!
"Lost in space Audrina face"
Jemmye from Real World and The Challenge joins me to talk about The Hills Beginnings! We are both surprised by our favorite cast member so far is, how we feel about the whole Audrina and Justin Bobby thing, and Brody being the victim in all of his relationships.
We also talk a bit about The Challenge and Taylor Swift. We really had no choice.
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Want to know my guesses for The Hills Reboot? I tell you at the end! First we need to find out what happens in Laguna when Stephen shows up on Valentine's Day and how Jessica handles the break up with Jason.
Just like bonfires, if there is a dance in Laguna there will be drama! What would you do if your date was bringing your enemy to the dance? I will tell you what I would do, sit outside and be upset just like Jessica did! I break down Alex asking Jason to Winter Formal and why Laguna Beach wasn't allowed to film on school property!
I also talk about expanding the Laguna Biotch brand.
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This is the episode where you realize how truly awful Jessica and Jason are together, and now sneaky Alex M can be. We also get to see a very drunk Taylor and Talan have a chat where she has some choice words when it comes to her feelings about Kristin.
I also talk about living alone for the first time and how I feel about The Hills reboot!
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What happens with Kristin and Lauren have a birthday party on the same episode? Well, Lauren goes to Mexico with Stephen and Kristin has her eyes on Talan. There is also drama between Taylor and Talan, looks like love triangles are the in thing with Laguna forever.
I also talk about my move, social media, and then a few other things!
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Jessica, Jason is cheating on you! Things start to seemingly heat up between LC and Stephen along with Jason and Alex M. We also get to see Jessica take shots in the backseat which is very exciting. I also get into how I am planning on handling Very Cavallari next season!
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This week we roll into season 2 which we all know is the best season of the three! I break down the first episode drama, we find out what some of last seasons favs have been up to, and I also talk a little bit about the season finale of Very Cavallari!
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It has finally come, the season final of season 1! There is a bonfire, there are tears, and of course the iconic moment with She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5 playing in the background. I also tip toe around the #FreeBritney movement and talk about my Taylor Swift experience that I will talk about for the rest of my entire life!
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After a wild senior year, the summer is finally ending and Trey is the first to go. I break down the episode that has Trey saying goodbye to childhood pet, the town he loved, and all of his best friends. It's a real emotional roller coaster. I also end up breaking up the Spiedi and Stephanie drama, what I think Taylor Swift is doing, and how the Kelsea Ballerni concert was!
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I am so excited that Reagan from Very Cavallari joined me this past week! If you didn't know I was on her podcast Relatable with Reagan and Jennica last week and she returned the favor! Jennica wasn't planning on joining but I am sure glad that she did! Listen to find out how Reagan ended up on Very Cavallari, her favorite Nashville spots, and why you should always leave your IPad at home if you're planning on going to a bar.
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As we go on, we remember, right? The crew tackles graduation day which leaves room for very little drama! There is a lot of skateboarding, graduation gifts, and it's just a great day. I totally forgot to quote Lo saying "Everyday is a fashion show" and I will never EVER forgive myself. At the end I talk a little bit about what is going on in my life and why this podcast was a bit messy.
Colby Dee from Very Cavallari joins me to chat about everything from Very Cavallari (duh), to crying, to Kelly Clarkson, to her own music! Listen to get a little bit more insight about her issues with Kaylee and how Kristin Cavallari is as a boss!
I go over the last prom for LC, Lo, Stephen, and the rest of the crew! After I break down the episode I talk a bit about Very Cavallari, hint at some potential podcast guests, and my loyalty to certain cast members.
This episode is a very Christina and Morgan heavy episode where I talk about her Broadway audition, her birthday, and how LC and Lo were on the I forgot you list. I also talk about the nasty DM I received and if Laguna was filmed in 2019.
If there is a bonfire in Laguna you know that means there is going to be drama. This week we take a deep dive into the second episode of season one where Morgan doesn't get into her dream school (or does she), Trey hosts and AYA open mic night, Kristin and Jessica cook! Let's get into it!