La Vie En Kreyol

This episode is sponsored by Babancourt Rhum! 🥴😂

On this final segment, Naphtah reveals that there’s levels to getting kidnapped in Haiti. Rich forgets his church shoes at school and all hell breaks loose. Izzy shows love to her favorite mais moulen plug. Ruth lets it be known that beatings/punishment were community-oriented when it comes to Haitians and Sparkle remembers her friend “Billy” the goat (he was delicious 😂). 

“Yo manjè l!”

The girls (and Rich) are shocked to find out that Barnes —of “Celino and Barnes”— passed away in 2020. Rich breaks his silence and recounts the tragic trauma of a cancelled birthday. Naphtah starts an èpis war and declares that Ruth’s mom is the ultimate èpis plug. Izzy shares that she’s been babysitting since she was 8-years old and Sparkle questions whether or not she’s the brother she’s never had. 

The hosts and their guests discuss Haitians’ relationship with other Haitians. Richard finds a wife and a scam. Naphtah shares with the audience how to properly scam. And the girls discuss the one volume that all Haitians have: loud.

Some nonsense and a teaching moment.

The girls discuss the comparisons between cultures: philandering grandfathers, dismissive parents and the belief in a spiritual world but the refusal to call it what it is—voudou. Fenix and Alina get some Haitian points. Izzy talks about having to salye her teenage aunts and uncles. Ruth shares the tea on how to get to the elders and Sparkle discusses her father’s non-relationship, relationship with voudou.

I mean, who would we be if we didn't discuss food?

The girls are introduced to the Spanish translation to “periodt!” Alina puts her father in check about Haitian people. Fenix recalls her first time visiting a plantation. Crystal asks a question for educational purposes. Izzy lets it be known that El Diablo salsa is where it’s at. Ruth bigs up all the Haitians at the Waldorf and Sparkle reveals she is allegedly *whispers* part Dominican.

We back!

Thanks for stickin' beside us!

The girls let a Jamaican [@trevstarzz] describe how Haitians are when they get bad and boujee.

The girls (and Harold) talk about the unspoken beef between Haitians and Black Americans. Ruth reminds her guests that people from the Caribbean are also the descendants of slaves. Harold calls Europeans savages. Azalia is certain (actually sure) she’s Black. Sparkle talks about escaping traumas; Izzy agrees. And, everybody agrees that Columbus ain’t shit.

Is a New York Haitian the same as New Jersey Haitian? Is a Mississippi Black the same as a New York, Harlem Black? @haroldishere & @azaliaism weigh in. Tune in to find out more!

Who made the potato salad? The girls discuss the relationship between Haitians and Black Americans. Azalia [@azaliaism] and Harold [@haroldishere], the two chosen Black Americans, share their Black experience vs. a Black experience in Kreyol. The girls reveal, to our Kreyol impaired friends, that Haitians put peas and beets in their potato salad.

To Michaël Benjamin:

Thank you for your countless contributions in the Haitian community, for repping the culture & for always putting Haiti on your back.

Rest In Peace Mika Ben.

Ruth's mom drops a proverb gem.

The girls drop a proverb mixtape. Ruth introduces the certified Haitian question asking strategy. Sparkle gets her mom’s proverb tattooed on her forehead and Izzy wins the Proverb Olympics.

The girls look for a new third host. Ruth gets on her soapbox about beating children. Sparkle fights kids and Izzy threatens Timmyson.

The girls share some helpful and not so helpful advice.

The girls discuss the ten Haitian advice commandments. Izzy reveals her mom is her best friend. Sparkle shares childhood advice from her grandmother and Ruth explores the usefulness of childhood advice. 

Ruth questions if she’s Haitian enough for this conversation. Izzy proves that she is Haitian enough and Sparkle reveals she’s a COVID denier. The girls agree that sleep fixes everything.

Haitian remedy e-book coming soon. 

The girls discuss the important role insults have to play in Haitian culture. Sparkle discusses how her mom used to call her dummy. Ruth and Izzy call Sparkle a dummy.

The girls discuss their favorite daddy memories. Sparkle discusses her father’s ice cream obsession. Izzy remembers her father packing her lunch…ables. Ruth gives Haitian sons extra Haitian points and plots her ascent to heaven.

This goes out to you. This goes out to you. This goes out to you and you and YOU!

Sparkle discusses her Haitian name theory. Ruth gets the burden of having a hyphenated name off of her chest and Izzy puts the audience on to her multi-generational tradition of “Is”.

Izzy shares her own turtle neck trauma. Sparkle laughs to mask the pain and Ruth is absolutely mindblown.