Lazy Parenting with Stephanie Kennedy

From Covid to the Freedom Convoy to now, the war in Ukraine, our children have been inundated with some very hard things in 2022.

We have to address these topics with our kids. We need to check-in and make sure they are ok. 

Today I share some ways, those of us who might not know where to start or what to say can begin.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email.

Today we continue the topic of proactive parenting vs reactive parenting and how the 3 big ideas of Lazy Parenting can be used to combat the challenges of getting our kids to listen to us and getting our kids to bed.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email.

Today we continue the topic of proactive parenting vs reactive parenting and how the 3 big ideas of Lazy Parenting can be used to combat bad behavior.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email.

Confession time - I used to be a yeller. I yelled as a coach when I was a teen working with children and then I yelled as a parent at my kids. My temper has always gotten the best of me. So how did I end up with 4 kids and never having to raise my voice at them through their tweens and teens?

Well, I had to change from being a frustrated and reactive parent to being a positive and proactive one. I had to recognize that my childrens' misbehavior was ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS a way of them trying to tell me something. And, that is where we have to agree to begin. You have to agree that all your child's behavior is communication. If we can start there, we can work to end the yelling in your house too.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. 

Today I have a challenge for you. A challenge that if you take, I can guarantee your relationship with your tween or teen will be shaken up for the better! It might be hard...but I believe in you. You can do it. The payoff will be HUGE!

It's been TWO years! Two years since some of our children have been in school, back to their sports, back to their friends, and back to their pre-pandemic life. Expecting them (& ourselves) to just jump back in is foolish. Some of our children haven't been around anyone other than us!

Today I talk about SCAFFOLDING or scaffold parenting as a strategy to consider as we try to fill in the holes or teach the missing skills our kids might have from growing up in the middle of a pandemic.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Today is part 2 of a discussion around our phones and how we and our family use them.

The conversation moves into HOW to bring up the topic of phone addiction and compulsive behavior with our family. How do we communicate so that they hear what we have to say and don't get defensive and shut down?

 The conversation stems from an episode of "The Chalene Show" hosted by my internet mentor, Chalene Johnson. An incredibly gifted communicator who gives us the language to address this difficult conversation. There are tons of practical takeaways and I hope to hear from you about how they have worked in your family.

Our phones are an important and vital part of our lives. I get it! And they are important to our kids as well. 

But, let's take an honest look at HOW we are using them. Today I dive deep into this topic and share some ideas I heard from one of my internet mentors, Chalene Johnson. I describe in detail, why YOU need to follow her and WHY I admire her so much. Then, we talk about FOUR ways to curb our compulsive use of our phones and how to help our kids to stop it too.

Hey, Lazy Parenting podsquad! Today is Valentine's Day and I am sharing some easy and quick ways to show love to your kids today and every day! 

Today is the last episode in the series on LOVE and how do we know that our kids know we love them?

If you haven't yet listened to episode 64, be sure to go back and listen to that one first. I go over the key idea of unconditional love and why it is such an important piece of this conversation. Today I am diving into the final love language, #5 so you can see if one of these is your child's primary love language. Remember, even if it isn't, showing our kids love in all five ways is vitally important if they are going to grow up and understand that different people express and share love in different ways. And, most importantly, help them understand that someone else's love language might be (and likely will be) different from their own.

Today I am continuing the series on LOVE and how do we know that our kids know we love them?

If you haven't yet listened to episode 64, be sure to go back and listen to that one first. I go over the key idea of unconditional love and why it is such an important piece of this conversation. Today I am diving into love languages #3 & #4 so you can see if one of these is your child's primary love language. Remember, even if it isn't, showing our kids love in all five ways is vitally important if they are going to grow up and understand that different people express and share love in different ways. And, most importantly, help them understand that someone else's love language might be (and likely will be) different from their own.

Today I am continuing the series on LOVE and how do we know that our kids know we love them?

If you haven't yet listened to episode 64, be sure to go back and listen to that one first. I go over the key idea of unconditional love and why it is such an important piece of this conversation. Today I am diving into the first 2 love languages so you can see if one of these is your child's primary love language. Remember, even if it isn't, showing our kids love in all five ways is vitally important if they are going to grow up and understand that different people express and share love in different ways. And, most importantly, help them understand that someone else's love language might be (and likely will be) different from their own.

Valentine's day is coming up next week and I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about love and our kids. 

If I were to ask you if your child feels loved, I am sure you would say 'yes". But, how do you know this? Like, really, HOW do you know this?

This week I want to talk about the importance of our children REALLY understanding our love for them and I'm going to encourage you to do a deep dive and have a reality check on ourselves about how we are showing our kids that we love them. 

Wrapping up the series on "how to get your kids to listen to you" today with TWO bonus tips!

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

If you struggle with getting your child to listen to you and do as you ask, it is likely that there are some bad habits that are going on in the house. And by bad habits, I do mean your bad habits. Listen, I will always tell it straight. If we as the parents don't take responsibility as the leaders of our family then we are failing our family. 

Now hear me out. This isn't a judgment or blame on you. We all are works in progress. We are all just learning how to do this parenting thing as we go. That's why you are here right? You recognize that there is some stuff going on in the house that is chaotic. There is too much yelling and you are going to bed exhausted emotionally and mentally from all the fighting and constant nagging or correcting of behavior that is going on in your house. But you're here. You've taken the first step. You've come here to listen and learn from my experience with my own kids and from the thousands of children and teens I have worked with over the past 35 years. 

So here we go...the final 2 steps in this week's topic of how do you get your kids to listen to you.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

This series will give you some concrete tips and strategies on getting your child(ren) to listen to you the first time you ask.

We have talked about how CONNECTION is the first step in getting your kids to listen to you and yesterday I talked about a step many of us forget. Today we talk about how to make sure our children can be successful in listening to us and doing as we ask.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

This series will give you some concrete tips and strategies on getting your child(ren) to listen to you the first time you ask.

Yesterday we talked about how CONNECTION is the first step in getting your kids to listen to you. Today we move on to step #2.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

The first in a series on "How to get your kids to listen"!

We've all been there, asking our child to do something and them not answering, not acknowledging us, not doing as we asked and the result is often us blowing up and yelling at them.

This series will give you some concrete tips and strategies on getting your child(ren) to listen to you the first time you ask.

Thank you for hanging out with me today! I love these daily chats and hearing from you as to how they are helping. Don't forget to DM me on Instagram, come follow along on TikTok or send me an email. I want this to be a two-way conversation! Talk soon.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Today's phrase is "do what's right, no matter what" and I know, that if you are a listener here on the show, you agree with me that this is pivotal to teach, to model and to reward in our kids if we want them to grow up into amazing adults who are making a difference in the world. And I don't mean by making lots of money or by being famous but by being good humans who do the work to make sure that they are making a positive difference in the lives of those they interact with.

In today's episode, I go over what INTEGRITY actually is and discuss five ways to help foster it in our kids. 

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Teaching our children the difference between the 'little things' and the 'big things' is an important part of being their parent. Today's phrase can be used as a gentle reminder to them when they need it.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

We have all been there, right? Trying to get out the door and we've asked our child to hurry up and put their shoes on, or we have been walking to an appointment and our child stops and picks a stick off the ground or to jump in a puddle or to pick lint off of their coat! Or maybe you are looking at your child sitting on the ground still playing with their toys when you have asked them TEN TIMES to put their toys away to get ready for dinner.

Dawdling must be one of the most frustrating, but completely normal childhood behavior problems.  It is a common problem that gets all parents soooooo frustrated because it feels like our child is ignoring us or worse, disrespecting us when we've repeatedly asked them to do something and they don't. Keeping them on task can be exhausting! The good news is that we can manage this irritating behavior and help teach our children how to keep moving along using the term "move with purpose" along with some basic parenting strategies.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

To be resilient means that we need to be able to handle stress. Learning how to handle stress is something we all need to be better at, including our kids. Stress is a guarantee in life and when our kids get older and the stressor becomes bigger we need to ensure they have the coping skills to be able to handle it. Anxiety, irritability, panic, fatigue, insomnia, brain fog, and a low mood are all signs of stress. 

The mind-body connection is a real and tangible thing that needs to be addressed. 

Today I am going to give you 5 ways to attack the mind-body connection to help alleviate the stress that comes from all the things life throws at us.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

There is a saying that "Life isn't fair" and perhaps you have had to say that to your child, maybe multiple times during this pandemic. 

All of our kids got so many things taken away from them over the past 3 years. Maybe your child had to miss out on the 1st year of the college experience, or didn't get to celebrate their 1st, 12th, or 16th birthday with friends and family. Maybe like us, you had a family trip planned that got canceled. So many things happened that were out of our control. And that's really what that phrase is stating right? Life isn't fair. We can't control so much of what comes through our lives and today's phrase is actually a springboard into a wider topic that I will cover today and tomorrow.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Chances are you have had your child tell you "Anna gets to play Minecraft, why can't I?" Or "Charlie gets to stay out till midnight why can't I?" Or "Everyone else gets to go to sleepovers! Why can't I?"

Today I give 5 tips on how to stay true to your family rules and values.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Our kids mess up. They do. Some of them, every day. How do we respond when they drop a plate in the kitchen? Fall off the monkey bars at the playground? We can't expect our kids to learn to take chances, take calculated risks, try new things if they are worried about your reaction when they fail or make a mistake.

Today's short parenting phrase to add to your toolbox is "Was it an accident?"

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

We have all been there, lecturing our kids with a long-winded explanation about what they did wrong or how they could do it better. Today I share the next short parenting phrase to add to your toolbox! And it works like magic helping us keep our cool and addressing the behaviour we want less of.

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

We have all heard the parenting mantra of "you get what you get and you don't get upset" or "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit". The idea behind this phrase is likely frustrated parents who are "done" with their children always wanting things their way and as a way of telling the child, nicely, to suck it up buttercup!

Today we are going to talk about why some childhood specialists don't like this phrase and why I think it's actually a great one - with one caveat!

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

"Mom! Where's my jacket?

"In the dryer."

"Mom! Where's my jacket?"

"IN THE DRYER!"

"MOM! Where's my jacket?"

"Are you *#$*ing kidding me?!?!? IT'S IN THE DRYER!!!!"

All our kids are guilty of this...asking us the same darn question OVER AND OVER AGAIN! Today I share a phrase that can help end this FOREVER! Well, maybe not FOREVER...but it will definitely reduce this back and forth dramatically if you follow through with the strategy!

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Your child has temper tantrums, they have an emotional outburst that is disruptive or hurtful or destructive, they don't listen, they talk back, they argue with everything you ask of them....sound familiar? 

We all have had these moments with our kids. This is normal. What is most important is, are we as parents, understanding what is BEHIND the behaviour? Or are we just trying to fix the behaviour?

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

Today we are talking about being the very best version of ourselves if we want the same for our kids. You have all experienced it, that moment when you first see your child mimic something that you do or say. It might be catching your little one playing with a doll or stuffie and using the same words or song you use to put them to sleep. It might be your toddler wanting to help clean and sweep. It might be that first time (and likely at the most inappropriate time) your child cusses and you wonder where they heard that word!?!? 

Today we are getting real and I'm going to give you some tough love around how important it is for you to walk the talk and be the greatest role model you possibly can be for your child --- because you are their most important one!

If you loved today's episode, please click 5 stars and write a review!

We all do it. Multiple times a day. We say "No" to our kids for a wide variety of reasons. Sometimes it works and many times, it doesn't. Today we talk about why saying NO may not be the best strategy and what may really be the reason behind your NO. Let's have some real talk and see if we can find ways to get our children to do what we ask of them without the nagging, the whining, or the constant pestering.

Loving the podcast? Please be sure to write a review! I would love to give you a shoutout on the podcast as a thank you!

Today is day 2 on the topic of "time-outs" as a parenting strategy. Yesterday we discussed if they should or shouldn't be used and today we discussed what you can do instead OR if you are going to use them, how to make them more effective.

Time-outs. Time ins. Effective. Ineffective. There is so much information out there on this topic that it can be hard to know what to do as a parent of a child who is difficult, stubborn, defiant, and causing us a lot of stress. Are we going to damage our child's emotional well-being if we use time-outs? Are we being too 'soft' if we don't? 

In today's episode (part 1 of 2) we look into this. 

Today we are talking about the rules you have in your house. Do you feel like all you are doing is correcting and monitoring your child's behaviour? Maybe you have too many rules! In this episode, I am sharing with you a lesson I learned waaaayyyyy back when I first became a high school classroom teacher and had to decide how I would ensure that my groups of gr 8 & 9 students behaved and didn't drive me insane. Trying to hand out consequences and punishments to my students for breaking the classroom rules was a disaster. Have a listen to find out why and discover how you can take my mistakes and turn them into successes for your family! 

Today we are talking about sibling rivalry --- whether it's arguments, fights, or if you are one of the lucky ones - all-out brawls. This is, without doubt, one of the most frustrating things we as moms deal with. I hate it, like absolutely, to my core, hate it when my kids fight with each other. And it is hard, I mean really hard not to involve myself unnecessarily. And, it hasn't gotten any easier as they have gotten older. I still have to watch myself and force myself to stay out of it. So the next step is starting off 2022 with new parenting skills and new strategies is learning how and why to stay out of your kids' fights!

In the last episode, I talked about the importance of having your children do chores and setting expectations around how the house runs. But, I put a warning on it.  I said to be sure to have a sit-down or a family meeting with your kids (& especially your tweens and teens) if you were planning on changing things up on them. So today, I'm going to share how to do that --- how to have a family meeting, how to get buy-in from your kids, how to determine what to talk about and how to come up with effective solutions. Family meetings may seem daunting to you but I promise they can be the solution to having a chaos and yelling-free home.

There are a lot of pieces to this whole parenting puzzle. I call it a puzzle because none of us walk out of the hospital that first day with a clue as to what we are doing. We figure it out piece by piece every day for the next 20+ years. And the more you work on the puzzle, the more you learn strategies like starting with finding the corner pieces and then building the frame or boundary of the puzzle and then working on sections that have the same color.  Today's section of the puzzle in helping out kids become successful and competent adults is an important one! Not only does it help make our kids less selfish, more confident, and contributing members of the family, it helps us, the parents, manage a household without losing our minds. 

Want to know the secret to raising kids who grow up to be successful, happy, and responsible adults?

Make them do chores!

Today we discuss the old adage "Do as I say, not as I do". I'm sure one of your parents or grandparents or preachers or teachers said this to you as a child and I'm guessing if you are like me, those words have gone from your lips to your child's ears. If your child isn't doing as you ask...this might be one of the reasons. Have a listen in to today's episode and let's honestly reflect on how this idea could be harming your relationship with your child and making your house more chaotic than it needs to be.

Is your child struggling with bedtime? Mornings? Getting out of the house on time? Getting homework done? Today I am encouraging you to distinguish between the things that NEED to be done and the things they WANT to do. The key in getting the things that NEED to be done is to get those done BEFORE the bonus things. I call this a WHEN-THEN routine and it can be an effective tool to establish or revamp the routines around bedtimes, mealtimes, homework times, etc.

HEY - be sure to send me a DM with any questions or struggles or just a "hi" over on IG! I look forward to hearing from you!

Sleep. Most of us have heard over and over again how important it is to our health and that of our kids. The first question asked of a new mom is usually "Getting any sleep?" or some version of that. The idea that our baby is "good" or "bad" or "easy" or "hard" based on how many hours of sleep they get through the night is ridiculous. As any mom knows, we have very little control over this. Some babies are easy to fall asleep, some babies are difficult to get to sleep, some babies sleep for long periods of time and some are easy to get to sleep but wake up over and over again. Some will transfer well, while others need to literally pass the dead limb test before you move them. But sleep IS the first thing that tends to slide and is the FIRST thing I want you to commit to getting back on track in 2022. 

It's the time for new year resolutions that usually revolve around being healthier, more productive, or achieving this or that. But what about improving in the area that is MOST important to you? What if you reflected on what is and is not working in your relationships with your partner and children and learned some strategies to help strengthen these and calm the chaos and yelling within your house? Today we kick off the 1st of daily episodes to start your day and help you work towards becoming a more intentional, calmer, happier parent that has the tools and knowledge to raise independent, empathetic, joyful, kind, and passionate adults.

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

Tragedy, loss, suffering...all things we hope to shield our children from. But, inevitably, grief comes into our lives and our children's lives. How can we best support, help, and guide them through their grief? What coping strategies can we teach them?

In today's episode, I share 6 things that we, as parents, can do to help our children navigate through their grief.  

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

In today's episode, Stephanie welcomes her oldest child, Elizabeth along with her husband, Dr. Chris Kennedy on to chat about what we think are some of the most important things to keep in mind to ensure your child has a successful, fun & healthy first year away at University or College. 

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

The fundamental message behind Lazy parenting has always been that we need to build a strong relationship with our children built on mutual respect. I strongly believe that it is impossible to raise healthy, happy, independent, empathetic young adults if our relationship with them doesn’t have this strong foundation. When our children don’t trust us, they don’t respect us. And that trust comes slowly, over time by us proving to our child that we are there for them in the good and bad times and that we always have their best interest at top of mind. Trust takes years to build but only an instant to break. And this goes both ways...it’s a message our kids need to understand, especially as they begin to gain independence and start to make their own decisions. They need to understand that when they break our trust through lies or deceit, it will take time to earn that trust back.

Now, understanding this and committing to this as the basis of all our parenting brings a new way of looking at our child’s behaviour. It means that we always have to look at our child’s behaviour from their perspective, from a lens of trying to understand the where and why the behaviour is coming from. And, being honest with ourselves that it is often our own constructs, our own hangups, our own issues from our own childhood that get in the way of this.

One of the times we often respond in a way that is not at all helpful is when our children are angry, upset, or crying and we say the words... (listen to the episode to find out).

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

Today’s podcast is an important one. I am going to share my number one parenting rule/tip/strategy for all parents, regardless of how old your children are. It is a tip that was shared with me long before I had kids and it stuck with me. Maybe my years of coaching and teaching helped give me some experience with this strategy before I had my own kids, but gosh kids are cute and their ability to get you to sway from this rule is sometimes downright magical…

This rule we are going to talk about today, this strategy/tip/rule is one that I believe to rank up there as one of the most important ones! It’s a rule that we all could use a refresher on. If you are like me, you likely slip a little bit once and a while and if you don’t catch it early on it can turn from a tiny snowball into an avalanche of whining, constant negotiations, yelling, screaming, anger and frustration.

The basis of this rule can be summed up in the following quote:

“People treat you only one way — the way you let them!”

Now think about your kids, how do they treat you? Do you have little ones who ask over and over again for something you’ve said no to until you finally say yes? Do they “ignore” you when you ask them to stop playing video games or watching TV to do something you’ve asked (for the zillionth time)? Do they roll their eyes at you when you ask how their day was? Do they use foul language or call you names, tell you they hate you?

If you answered yes to any of these things, I want you to take a moment and think about how you got to this place? How did you lose control and lose their respect? Because that’s what has happened. You have allowed your child to believe that THEY are in control and that they can have what they want when they want it. You have lost your position as the one who sets the expectations around the behavior in your house and I will venture to say that you have lost their respect.

Listen in today and learn the 4 steps to getting back on track and gaining the respect of your children. Change is possible and it can happen!

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE:

Today’s podcast is specifically geared for moms whose little ones are now a bit older and who are finding that they have a little bit more free time in their day. It’s for moms who have been struggling with their habits, their health, their fitness, and or their overall mood and wellbeing.

Today I am sharing my own story of health and wellness that I embarked on, way back when Covid first hit and I had to make a pivot in my business that ultimately was the best thing to happen to me and my health. I unpack all the decisions I made, all the pieces of the puzzle that helped me stay on this journey for the past 237 days, and helped me finish and complete the #75hard challenge.

If your children are still small, I encourage you to listen in and see if there are some takeaways and small steps that you CAN implement into your life to help you manage your stress, your emotional eating, your tense relationships, and the chaos that you might be living in each and every day.

Today’s episode is full of tips and tricks and takeaways that you can take, use, and implement today. I promise, that if you take that very first, small step to adding something into your day (or taking something out of your day) it will be the catalyst, the spark, that can help you achieve everlasting change.

We are in a hard season.

There is no doubt about it.

And, depending on where you are living --- the uncertainty of the election happening right now in the US is just one more pile of bricks loaded onto your back making the weight of motherhood, parenting, living…that much harder.

I talk often about how we as the parents HAVE TO  work on ourselves so that we can become the best, the strongest, the most resilient version of ourselves so that we can be the model to which our children look.

The fear and uncertainty that COVID and the political unrest has brought into our communities and our families are real. As parents, our instinct is always to protect and mitigate, minimize the suffering our children go through. It’s no difference in this case.

But, we can’t control the world’s events. We can’t control our neighbors' tweets and social media posts. We can’t control the canceling of our children’s sports and activities, we can’t control the inevitable disruption all these things are having on our children’s lives.

BUT, we CAN control the lens through which they view these disruptions. We CAN control OUR reaction to them. We can control our feelings and actions and work towards strengthening our relationships. We CAN help our children build RESILIENCE and the ability to see this time and these challenges as things that we will all get through. Like our grandparents have said, “this too shall pass”.

I believe the best way to help our children through these times is to help shape the way these lessons are learned. To do this, we have to INTENTIONALLY manage our own feelings and actions knowing that they are what our children are seeing. They are looking to us to see how they should be feeling.

In today’s episode, we will work through some of the feelings you may be having right now like:

“I feel like I’m failing”

“I don’t know how to handle how I feel”

“My mind feels out of control”

“I keep thinking about the worst-case scenario”

“I can’t do everything”

“Will things ever go back to normal”

All of these feelings are NORMAL.

What I hope to help you with, in today’s episode, is in developing a new mindset/lens through which you view these feelings and some tips and tricks on how you can work towards understanding these feelings and ensuring that OUR feelings as parents, don’t get passed onto our children without thought and care.

LINKS FROM TODAY'S EPISODE: