The Tall Tales Broadcast System

The Tall Tales Broadcast System

By Robert Hudson
Something else for a change
Where to listen
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Agatha Maud and the Sox of Sultan McDoom
All the Name of the Decade names are here. You can vote on twitter here or by emailing talltalesnight@gmail.com
17:48
June 29, 2020
Bad News for the Kittens, Ebenezer Noonoo and Lolita Respectnothing
All the Name of the Decade names are here. You can vote on twitter here or by emailing talltalesnight@gmail.com
19:21
June 25, 2020
We're on Our Own. Solo Alone is On Her Own. Even Caspar is One On His Own
Ongoing old news of Emma and the three wise babies; more Name of the Decade results - see the AFRICA bracket for voting here, and vote either via @namedecade on twitter or by emailing talltalesnight@gmail.com
19:09
June 22, 2020
The Name That Dare Not Speak Its Name
The easiest way to vote in the Macadandang Region of Name of the Decade is via @namedecade on twitter. The next easiest is to look at this list of names and email talltalesnight via gmail. One person has employed the method of looking at the names and yelling down their choices from upstairs. This will not work for most of you.
21:04
June 18, 2020
Carry On, Willow Rosenberg
Voting until Thursday for Name of the Decade, Frankenstein Region, round one: See the bracket via this link and then either vote on twitter via this link or email your votes to talltalesnight@gmail.com
16:17
June 15, 2020
Finnemore, Savory, Loggins and Spancake
Vote now in Name of the Decade! Do this on twitter by looking for the tweets from @namedecade Find the bracket here, email us with legibility complaints and news from Orlando via talltalesnight@gmail.com Music from Susannah Pearse, arranged by Harry Sever, sung by Mari Izzard, all for the On Hope Digital Song cycle produced by Matt Powell and Victoria Saxton (rules are made to be broken).
35:34
June 11, 2020
Magic Cats, Names of the Decade and Other Miracles
We very nearly announce the contestants for Name of the Decade, but instead, due to a last minute change of plan, announce the announcement of the contestants.
16:40
June 8, 2020
Season One Bonus Demonstration: For Your Birthday, A House!
Why a bonus episode? 1. We said we would do an episode today and we aren't quite ready for Season Two. 2. We haven't done all the things the podcast platform lets us do effortlessly (we won't do the ones that take effort or we would not be able to proceed, as previously stated)
16:20
June 4, 2020
Demonstration 50: Keynes Explains Brexmas
End of the of the middle of the beginning of the end of the middle of the beginning, marked with all the clarity that deserves.
14:11
June 1, 2020
Demonstration 49: James Pond and the Devil
A huge episode. James Pond, featuring Kate Ferguson, Aaron Neil, Carrie Quinlan and Jane Whittaker, with music and sound design from Damian Coldwell. Plus an Important Announcement!
24:05
May 29, 2020
Demonstration 48: Everything is Casual
An all-time great from Susannah Pearse is the main thing to watch out for here.
11:42
May 28, 2020
Demonstration 47: Diversity Special
The song we discuss is this, from Axis of Awesome. The link we screwed up on our email is ko-fi.com/talltales - the thing we couldn't spell was 'talltales'. It is almost a surprise we can find our own shoes in the morning.
23:42
May 27, 2020
Demonstration 46: The Miracle of the Chaffinch and the Jackdaw
We're live tonight at eight - get your link via talltalesnight at gmail Music from @sjpearse as per usual
14:39
May 26, 2020
Demonstration 45: Erotic Podcast Feet First
This demonstration features Marie Phillips - see magico newsletter here - and Feet First, by Abigail Burdess. To repeat, please tell us if you're coming to the live event next Tuesday (and get link) via talltalesnight at gmail
23:10
May 22, 2020
Demonstration 44: True Crime! Dead Earls! Druids!
Can history be funny? That's in the ears of the beholder, obviously, but at least we are going to give your ears the chance to behold.
18:14
May 21, 2020
Demonstration 43: A Greyhound on an Island in the Sea
Featuring Somerset and the Ile de No Return. Also cute animals and Agatha Maud. Music by Susannah Pearse, be still your beating hearts.
15:12
May 20, 2020
Demonstration 42: London Rules Has a Chin the Size of a Country Shed
Today's demonstration features Mike Westcott. The song we think you should listen to is here. The lyrics to that song are here.  We hope you are having a nice day. Our website is here.
21:12
May 19, 2020
Demonstration 41: I'm Dreaming of a Squacco Heron
This demonstration features us doing great true stories years before This American Life caught up, and a longer version of Will Barnett's marvellous Dreams. Yes, yes, yes, to those of you who pointed out that we can't spell 'Tall Tales'. The ko-fi site has now been re-named.
22:35
May 18, 2020
Demonstration 40: Benet Brandreth is Bakerloo Hoppin' Mad
Last one for the week, with huge thanks to Benet Brandreth, Kosha Engler, John Finnemore and Susannah Pearse. Details for the live show are here.
20:47
May 15, 2020
Demonstration 39: Top Fear, featuring Mighty Man
News of this month's Tall Tales Live, along with news of neglected Kilburnians and brief meta-analysis of the Pearse songbook.
17:16
May 14, 2020
Demonstration 38: Delta Bravo Charlie Magic Eyes
Today's demonstration reveals more important secrets of the bureaucracy we all depend on and a song during which the writers of the song were harmed every time they heard it being sung like this. We announce Name of the Decade. You may submit your favourites from any NOTY bracket or anywhere else. We are catholic in that sense. We are not catholic in the sense that Pope Thrower will not make our list, nor even Pope McCorkle III, though he is closer. Maybe it makes us more catholic not to be including these names. We don't know. We are not catholic.
18:12
May 13, 2020
Demonstration 37: Trotsky's the Butler Now
Today's demonstrations sees - 'sees'?, let's say 'features' - features one of the highlights of Tall Tales' last couple of years from Matthew Parker and Ellis Sareen's tremendous villainous plutocrat from Diary of a Nobody by Finnemore and Pearse. Oh - Warhorses of Letters is available via this link.
14:49
May 12, 2020
Demonstration 36: An Embarrassing Fork Supper
Today's demonstration sees the end of Kilburn's Glorious 2012 and Simon Kane, via John Finnemore and Susannah Pearse, takes it out in suitably magnificent style.
15:42
May 11, 2020
Demonstration 35: The Huge Unnatural Fruit of Benet Brandreth
A tiny piece of Benet Brandreth which is the equivalent of ten complete normal persons. Have a smashing weekend. (Americans will be baffled at all our holidays but a) we have tons more than you anyway and b) May is the holidayest month.) Bonus feature: NOTY 2017.
32:05
May 7, 2020
Demonstration 34: Skype in the Hall of the Mountain King
Ideally, today's music would accompany the legendary fifty-second Kilburn story, which features many of the same characters and is about interpretive dance, but we won't get there for a couple of lockdowns. John Finnemore's friend's YouTube channel is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mstjN5fLpNY
14:54
May 6, 2020
Demonstration 33: Stella at the Last Exit to Ruislip Gardens
Today's demonstration features the continuing adventures of Mike Westcott and an important message from Abigail Burdess. Name fans, here are Key and Peele doing joke College football names. I would watch all three, obviously. In case you're not a fan of American football and think this is an unreal fantasy world, part of what is so magic about these is the detail and realistitude of the graphics, the presentation, and half the names: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDp-ABzpRX8
16:43
May 5, 2020
Demonstration 32: Banking Scandals and I.C. Shivers
At last, we reach Kilburn's most-repeated joke. Also, music from The Devil Gets All the Best Tunes by Ferguson and Pearse (with a big hat tip to Will Barnett) and Names of Other Eras (with a big thank you to Paddy Duffy).
16:50
May 4, 2020
Demonstration 31: Lions and Tigers and Zebras, Oh My!
Another Tall Tales highlight as - for the second time in a week! - we venture into the dangerous waters of competent sound design. Does the normal technical team feel fearful? No, but that is only because they've never heard of that brain science thing where dumbos and incompetents don't realise that's what they are. Featuring Anna Savory! Simon Kane! Tom Lyall! Hugh Trimble! Shamira Turner! Susannah Pearse! !
22:12
May 1, 2020
Demonstration 30: On This the Anniversary of Hot Tub Guy
We are about to embark on the Golden Summer of 2012, we have a song about snow, and it's raining. Vote Mathdaniel Squirrel.
16:01
April 30, 2020
Demonstration 29: Trapped by Benet Brandreth
The Brandreth Papers take a turn for monstrous. Fairies do what fairies do. A few more thoughts on Name of the Year.
18:48
April 29, 2020
Demonstration 28: We Are The Champion Name of the Year
Some people don't love funny names. That is not our fault. Mike Westcott is a Champion.
20:46
April 28, 2020
Demonstration 27: Don't You Think That Names Should Be The Only Things That Matter
This demonstration features high society high jinks, some horrific godparenting and a thrilling new version of a Pearse classic from Annie Gill and Nick Mulroy, who Annie would like me to say she is married to. Be not afraid.
18:18
April 27, 2020
Demonstration 26: The Invisible Hand of Benet Brandreth
It turns out that if you concentrate you can produce audio that sounds great, and Benet and Kosha Brandreth have done so to tremendous effect. We are sorry that most of Tall Tales is not like that but if it were, we couldn't do it, if that makes any sense. Have a lovely weekend.
19:09
April 24, 2020
Demonstration 25: That Is Not My Plan About Dwarf Hedgehogs
Today's demonstration features lovely new recording of two Pearse classics from Harry Sever, featuring Clare Auger and more news of Igor. If you haven't stopped listening to Skiing Safari from yesterday, you're not the only one. 
17:00
April 23, 2020
Demonstration 24: Tyrannosaurus Safari
Can mere words describe the majesty of this demonstration of the System? No. It features the awesomest band in the history of Northern Ostrobothnia! It features one of the two equal best choirs currently re-working the Mighty Fin back catalogue! It features the song which first showed that Susannah Pearse was not afraid to rhyme safari and Campari!
25:32
April 22, 2020
Demonstration 23: Voodoo Outbreak
Today's demonstration features Anna Savory from her usual field of wheat, and Tom Lyall leading the Mighty Fin chorus in a sort of diabolic fairy rock opera. If you still aren't listening to Simon Kane's narration of Journal of the Plague Year or reading Marie Phillips's newsletter, then that's your loss and not our fault. 
14:50
April 21, 2020
Demonstration 22: Faith in Bears
Today's demonstration of the system features an uncertain amount of truth and a song about talking animals that took about a month and four thousand drafts to write. You will notice (you probably won't notice) that we have changed our title algorithm and are using digits rather than spelling out the number. We only spelled it out in the first place because Apple said you shouldn't put numbers in there and we were being careful. If this suddenly gets us blacklisted we will go back to how we were. If you have read something more boring than this today, we're sorry. If you learn the truth about the Blackwater accounting scandal before we find it, please email talltalesnight @ gmail.
21:55
April 20, 2020
Twenty-First Demonstration: Jenny's Hens
In the last demonstration of this week we reveal* that Nature is never absent, even in the city. And if hens aren't enough, and friendly dogs, we also have horses and pigeons in the song. A decade later, I still say 'I'd give pigeons to hear from you,' as if it's a real English expression. *We use this term in the specialised sense that Garth Crooks once used it when he 'revealed' to Sven-Goran Eriksson that England had qualified for the next round of a major championship when probably S-G Eriksson probably was aware of that, because it's the sort of thing that even a moderately successful England manager would keep himself abreast of.
13:17
April 17, 2020
Twentieth Demonstration: God and the Devil
This demonstration features one of the all-time Mighty Fin highlights, according to seasoned viewers, along with a song to shame the devil.
15:50
April 16, 2020
Nineteenth Demonstration: Dream Dates
The nineteenth demonstration features Marie Phillips vs Unimpressive Men (she is in the wrong county to find the computer where she has a great story about her and Impressive Men) and also THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL GREAT MIGHTY FIN SONG OF ALL TIME!!! Marie's newsletter is at https://tinyletter.com/mariephillips
12:26
April 15, 2020
Eighteenth Demonstration: Games
The long weekend is at an end. In one sense, anyway. In other news, we have a thrilling story about people fighting for the love of a good engineer and a song about being a cool boss. In other news, where are you, Finland? We're going to do our part, you do yours.
19:37
April 14, 2020
Seventeenth Demonstration: A Friendly Wee Thing
The long weekend is coming and we suggest you cook your seed cakes, beetroot salad or whatever else may happen to be traditional in your culture to the soothing sounds of a story about a frisky wee doggie and a Susannah Pearse number about someone in denial. For alternate fifteen minuteses, Annika Stranded by Nick Walker is here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b049fg98/episodes/player And Warhorses of Letters, born at Tall Tales, is here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01p6dcx If, after Warhorses of Letters, you need more Marie Phillips, then her newsletter is terrific: https://tinyletter.com/mariephillips/ We're at www.listenandoften.com/talltales and talltalesnight@gmail.com
17:14
April 9, 2020
Sixteenth Demonstration: Teeth
In today's demonstration, terrifying comedy from Anna Savory, and terrifying piano from John Finnemore. This might not be the best link to Finnemore on YouTube, but it is a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YUJmHuHfKQ
22:37
April 8, 2020
Fifteenth Demonstration: The Lives of Others Pt 2
This demonstration is indecisively decisive about the future of technology and features the first appearance of a much repeated trope amid what are, now these stories are sitting up against each other without months and years between them, some continuity errors that the Central Committee are totally ok with. Also, Ellis as our favourite Puck, even more than Puck in the lovely period crime drama series Crimes of Passion.
14:43
April 7, 2020
Fourteenth Demonstration: Please Advise
We hope you had a lovely weekend, and spent it in a wise fashion. We did, because we are so wise. It is our defining trait. Also, some of us, and I'm not going to reveal who, had long-needed haircuts, but in a wise way. Today's stars, and it's not a word we use lightly, are Mike Westcott and Susannah Pearse's songwriting, and the voices of Matty Hughes, Annie Gill and Hugh Trimble.
15:55
April 6, 2020
Thirteenth Demonstration: The Lives of Others
Today's demonstration features what is literally my wife's favourite Kilburn story and what is literally one of my four favourites. It has a song and also, song fans, Tim Sutton, who featured a few episodes back and will again, I bet, is making his first appearance on the Now Show tonight. You probably missed it, but you can listen again and you should. It's going to be sunny this weekend, if you're in much of the UK. And 84% of you are in the UK. A surprisingly small percentage of you are in Ireland. What's going on, Ireland? Italy is kicking your ass. America, to my surprise, is doing well. I suppose there are lots of Americans. Canada is no surprise. I worry that this might be a boring programme note. There will be those among you who are thinking I am not as worried as I should be.
14:55
April 3, 2020
Twelfth Demonstration: Fists
The twelfth demonstration features - huge news - Mike Westcott. There's not much other news, I promise. Seriously, there's much less news than you'd think if you glued yourself to the news all day. It's the news' job to make you think important new things are happening every five seconds, but they're not and you really don't have to follow every bounce of the ball and we're here to help you not do that. We're like medicine, like cod liver oil.
12:13
April 2, 2020
Eleventh Demonstration: I am ok
The eleventh demonstration footnotes last night's live broadcast, focusing obviously on the cat. Matthew Parker describes a time when we ventured into a conversation with hilarious consequences (that's a great elevator pitch, Matthew, for if you're ever in an elevator with Spielberg or Iannucci) and we speculate on the System's possible musical future and your role in that.
14:58
April 1, 2020
Tenth Demonstration: Graham and the Important Leaf
Today's demonstration of the EBS is not shorter because we broke a pen or something, it's because the Greater TT Community is gearing up for March's live event on Zoom later. That's also why it's early. Short and early, like a prompt child. And short it might be (is) but it's a cracker.
09:46
March 31, 2020
Ninth Demonstration: Strangelove in the Arctic
We had forgotten this one entirely, and in it something that seems to be a dead-end turns out to be chock-full of origin stories. We hope you are gearing up for the broadcast, if you fancy the broadcast, and that you aren't, if that sort of thing doesn't interest you. Details are on www.listenandoften.com/talltales
19:50
March 30, 2020
Eighth Demonstration: The Oath
Today's demonstration of the EBS discusses the perils of public oversharing and songs from Susannah Pearse which ask and answer one of the main three questions in philosophy. John Finnemore's friend's webcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_DH8YUvliET0C_hZr_0Jeg Have a good weekend. (The answer to one of the other three main questions in philosophy is no we don't know how long Benet's bit is going to be when it arrives and we are as scared as you are.)
19:19
March 27, 2020
Seventh Demonstration: Dogs, Horses, Mermaids
The seventh demonstration of the system features a wonderful recording of an important classic by the Sutton Family Orchestra and Choir, as well as more Anna Savory than you could shake a stick at for eleven minutes. (Twelve minutes of Anna Savory.) Links referred to in the podcast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxVVoolAPMo https://soundcloud.com/slepkane/je-suis-mermaid
17:10
March 26, 2020
Sixth Demonstration: The Kilburn Communists
This demonstration of the broadcast system features a story that should have been two stories, but we leave it as is because we are committed to a rigorous policy of historical accuracy, admitting our errors and narrative profligacy. Also a song from Xmas Carol 2: Boxing Day that is just one of the reasons that show is an enduring favourite with professional economists*. * True fact
22:50
March 25, 2020
Fifth Demonstration: Birds
Today's demonstration of the Emergency Broadcast System features Matthew Parker on faith and the Mighty Fin Chorus on huge unnatural fruit.
17:27
March 24, 2020
Fourth Demonstration: Everything's Ducky
In this fourth demonstration of the Tall Tales Emergency Broadcast System: Simon Kane and an inaccurate accent (two separate features). (Also, a question, my ferociously complex analytics package says a few have listened to us on Pocket Casts. How? Maybe you are the person running Pocket Casts and therefore in charge of okaying this one, in which case I hope you are liking it and please okay it, but otherwise I can't work it out because I can't find it yet.)
17:45
March 23, 2020
Third Demonstration: Goats
This is the third demonstration of the Emergency Broadcast System and, be still your gallant hearts, the wider Tall Tales family have stepped in a cowpat. No, sorry, just free associating. Have stepped in to help.
16:38
March 20, 2020
Second Demonstration: Tom's Secret
This is the second demonstration of The Tall Tales Emergency Broadcast System. We maintain our ruthless focus on staying imperfect, like the people who weave errors into Persian rugs.
22:22
March 19, 2020
First Demonstration: Igor's Secret
This is the first demonstration of The Tall Tales Emergency Broadcast System. We are not perfect.
16:56
March 18, 2020