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LUKEHAND

LUKEHAND

By LUKEHAND

Just occasional short episodes of joking around and that.
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The City in the World with the Greatest Number of Daylight Hours be endured Under Lockdown… EVER!

LUKEHANDOct 11, 2022

00:00
04:52
“Jude,” lactose, fruit bread

“Jude,” lactose, fruit bread

World peace now. (Although, it’s not fashionable to wish for ‘peace’ anymore. The activist set are having a backlash against ‘peace.’ Thats a yt liberal thing now apparently. It’s fashionable now to want ‘justice’ more than or instead of or as well as ‘peace.’ Call me old fashioned, but I still think that ‘peace’ would be a fine thing.)
Apr 10, 202407:23
🇦🇺 🍞🤏

🇦🇺 🍞🤏

Pinching a loaf. Jussie smollett was innocent of faking a race hate crime. Citroen. Win an iPad.
Jan 04, 202404:49
The Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction - Ursula K. Le Guin (1986)
Dec 28, 202319:29
Who’s clapping?

Who’s clapping?

Boop 👈🏻
Nov 04, 202301:27
You seriously cant say anything these days (+ 🎵 “do you dare me?” IDM track! Completely FREE!) 🎁 💿

You seriously cant say anything these days (+ 🎵 “do you dare me?” IDM track! Completely FREE!) 🎁 💿

You seriously cant say anything these days (+ 🎵 “do you dare me?” IDM track! Completely FREE!) 🎁 💿
Oct 18, 202313:08
Relatable

Relatable

😏
Aug 05, 202300:38
The Germans have a word for it (i.e. - ‘es’)

The Germans have a word for it (i.e. - ‘es’)

🤡🤥🍅🇩🇪🐳🔮🪐🎶
Jul 09, 202303:06
Bin Eve

Bin Eve

Don’t call it “Bin night” if your bins are collected in the AM. Call it “Bin Eve”. Warrnambool is one of the few Victorian LGAs that collect waste in the PM - so I’m fine to keep calling it “bin night”.
Jun 16, 202308:53
A few facts (30/05/2023)

A few facts (30/05/2023)

May 30, 202305:52
Bonded
May 10, 202305:44
I’m not saying he loves eating guano

I’m not saying he loves eating guano

🦇 💩
Apr 05, 202303:27
Not Aloud to Call It ‘Kaffir’ Nemore

Not Aloud to Call It ‘Kaffir’ Nemore

A reminder that it’s not ‘kaffir’ anymore. They changed it. It’s the current year - don’t be “thAT guY” still calling it ‘kaffir’!
Apr 02, 202305:17
The plumbing non-issue

The plumbing non-issue

🚽
Mar 14, 202301:18
AITA?

AITA?

😊🌊💕😳😔⌛️🤞🏻🚊🕊️🙊🫂🥰🤦🏻‍♂️😉🤲🏻🤕😏🙏😆☀️🙄😇🤙🏻🤔◻️❤️👍🏻🍿😮🥹
Mar 11, 202305:43
Is ‘yueberquidessed’ a word?

Is ‘yueberquidessed’ a word?

B side: Milk powder craving.
Mar 02, 202301:03
Shut the front door

Shut the front door

Bants.
Feb 23, 202303:08
NSFW - 15 Minutes?? ⏳

NSFW - 15 Minutes?? ⏳

https://www.mamamia.com.au/sophie-cachia-oral-sex/?utm_source=mailchimp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=subscriber-weekly&mc_cid=65fbb9e9c6&mc_eid=c2d6fd3cdf
Feb 18, 202302:53
Smashed avocado three ways 🥑 🫓

Smashed avocado three ways 🥑 🫓

Take my life.. please.
Feb 12, 202304:25
Ghost cow

Ghost cow

👻 🐄
Feb 04, 202300:31
Slapstick ep

Slapstick ep

💁
Jan 29, 202304:24
How am I so groovy? / Road-rage isn’t hot

How am I so groovy? / Road-rage isn’t hot

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Jan 18, 202302:17
Bawling cinephiles

Bawling cinephiles

Saw a woman naked. Bawling cinephiles.
Jan 12, 202305:47
🍏 🎭 ⚽️

🍏 🎭 ⚽️

I’m not an Apple apologist // Vale Pele
Dec 30, 202202:19
“Wee-orr” as a greeting, y/n? 👋 🚨

“Wee-orr” as a greeting, y/n? 👋 🚨

💋
Dec 27, 202203:53
Xmas Luke-tacular!!

Xmas Luke-tacular!!

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate.
Dec 25, 202205:36
Award season

Award season

Yolo
Dec 20, 202202:42
Toilet humour

Toilet humour

I don’t get it.
Dec 19, 202201:36
Litter gaffe

Litter gaffe

I can only apologise and completely reverse my opinions as stated in this episode. I was wrong and I’m sorry.
.
.
.
(AND 👆🏻THAT is how you do an apology, ladies and other. Take complete ownership, explain what you’re doing immediately to change what you did or said, and - most importantly of all - actually use the words “I’m sorry.” So many public apologies _talk about apologising_ but do not include the words “I’m sorry.” It sounds simple because it is. That phrase - “I’m sorry” - is so important for victim-survivors or offended folx to be able to begin to forgive. Ocean-up, take ownership, and say “I’m sorry.”)
Dec 18, 202212:38
🤬 NSFW - All the way home 🎵 / Equine athletes

🤬 NSFW - All the way home 🎵 / Equine athletes

Nuff said do you know what I mean? End of innit.
Dec 14, 202201:06
A-side: Slurs / B-side: Whodunnit 📀

A-side: Slurs / B-side: Whodunnit 📀

Be a bit compassionate and use your words thoughtfully and take care not not upset others as much as possible with what you say. AKa- use some manners. Any questions, AMA. Cheers.
Dec 13, 202201:46
New shirt

New shirt

👚
Dec 12, 202201:54
Shut up, Luke (Part II)

Shut up, Luke (Part II)

Bants
Dec 12, 202206:53
Protein and the public ledger

Protein and the public ledger

Zink zonk 🤖 😜
Dec 01, 202202:49
Playboy for the articles

Playboy for the articles

🐰 🐰 🍑
Nov 24, 202202:21
Never had Covid // Vegan truants

Never had Covid // Vegan truants

Kek
Nov 21, 202204:28
Can’t say Anything // On Being the Nicest in the Friend Group

Can’t say Anything // On Being the Nicest in the Friend Group

The first time you were able and you had to do something about the situation you had in your mind and I think that was the first thing you said you had done to make sure that I didn’t do something that was going on with your mind that was not what I wanted you did to make you happy I didn’t think that was what I was going for but you were doing something to help you out I was just saying I didn’t know that I needed you and you didn’t know what you wanted and you didn’t know that you needed me and you didn’t know what you needed to be in your life you didn’t know that I didn’t want you didn’t know what I needed to be around me you were just trying not caring that you didn’t want me and you were not trying and I didn’t know that I just didn’t want to hurt me I was trying not trying not being mean and you didn’t care that I just didn’t care that I didn’t want you just didn’t want you didn’t want you didn’t want you weren’t even saying anything I just didn’t know what I didn’t want you didn’t want me I was not saying you didn’t want you didn’t even know that I didn’t know that I just didn’t understand that I just didn’t wanna hurt me I just didn’t know what was wrong and you were not understanding and you didn’t care and you were not being honest and you didn’t even know that you had a problem and I didn’t care and I was not being rude and I didn’t know that I didn’t know how you felt that I didn’t care
Nov 16, 202202:60
Train Derailment Near Geelong, 14 November 2022
Nov 14, 202202:31
Kramer 🙃

Kramer 🙃

🚨 Contains re-run content!! 🚨
Nov 13, 202205:14
Tee hee hee 🙊

Tee hee hee 🙊

V-A-G-I-N-A. Techno remix. Tee hee.
Nov 10, 202201:34
‘Selfies’ are the New Autographs

‘Selfies’ are the New Autographs

Yeah pretty much.
Oct 28, 202202:46
Mostly Wear a Hat?

Mostly Wear a Hat?

Bants
Oct 26, 202204:31
A-side: ‘BPA Free, baby.’ B-side: ‘Cruising Gay St.’

A-side: ‘BPA Free, baby.’ B-side: ‘Cruising Gay St.’

https://maps.apple.com/?address=32%20Swinton%20St,%20Warrnambool%20VIC%203280,%20Australia&ll=-38.372660,142.451477&q=32%20Swinton%20St&_ext=EiYpkywWhEYwQ8Ax3lxqkEPOYUA5FVfwJyAvQ8BBHv0cbqHOYUBQAw%3D%3D&_mvs=CjYJ7qQBtMUvQ8AR6xsCB3POYUAZAABYzSXQKUAh1pxGFoiqR0ApEPOdO0BjA8AxAAAAAAAAAAASOAoXS2VubmVkeSBTdCAmIFN3aW50b24gU3QSEFdhcnJuYW1ib29sIENpdHkaC1dhcnJuYW1ib29s
Oct 22, 202203:41
GOONS!!

GOONS!!

Wazzzzzuuuuuppp!!!!???
Oct 19, 202205:20
Thoroughly modern.

Thoroughly modern.

Bants.
Oct 14, 202202:30
He’s over-corrected - and then it was “goodnight Vienna,” really

He’s over-corrected - and then it was “goodnight Vienna,” really

I reckon he’s over-corrected and then it was “goodnight Vienna,” really
Oct 12, 202204:30
You are so annoying, Luke

You are so annoying, Luke

Heh
Oct 12, 202204:55
The City in the World with the Greatest Number of Daylight Hours be endured Under Lockdown… EVER!

The City in the World with the Greatest Number of Daylight Hours be endured Under Lockdown… EVER!

37.8 dongs into colons. / Dating. / The City in the World with the Greatest Number of Daylight Hours be endured Under Lockdown… EVER!
Oct 11, 202204:52
Twofer!

Twofer!

It’s a 10/10 twofer!
Oct 10, 202209:55
My Ultimate sex Fantasy. 📝 Luke Hand.

My Ultimate sex Fantasy. 📝 Luke Hand.

My Ultimate sex Fantasy. 📝 Luke Hand 😳 I don’t know where I will be ranked on the Madonna-Whore Spectrum for this disclosure! 😬 I actually happen to think that my ultimate sex fantasy is actually pretty Vanilla. You know, in the grand scheme of these things. But then - in saying that, maybe it’s just that I’m a little bit more liberal than the everyman-between-the-sheets. Anyway! Without further adieu, let’s ‘crack the whip,’ as it were! Figuratively! 🏇 😉 I guess I would have to say that my ultimate sex fantasy would be the following session: * Cuddling on bed, fully dressed * Kissing * Undressing to undergarments * Heavy French kissing and pawing * Undressing completely * Under blankets by now * Room conditions adjusted (music, lighting, door, temp) * Cooperative-masturbation * Gyration * Normal * Doggity style * Normal_2 (mid-tempo) * Sip of water and French kissing * 69er * Normal_3 (piston-thrusting) * Partner to appear to reach orgasm at this point * Shortly thereafter, I’m pulled towards orgasm like driftwood in a tidal rip * Our skin prickles in fever, we cuddle, and are a little bit dewy, and slightly short of breathe * Kissing and making pillow talk, and joking off * We put on lower-half-underwear & shirts * Nap in a cuddle under the blanket for a while * We soon wake up and get dressed and get upright * At this point, the room is straightened up, etc. * We hug and share a quick kiss and meaningful look and smile And that’s it. “Caligula would blush,” right? Hahah oh come on! That is not that kinky!! Haha.
Oct 10, 202202:23
065 - Riverside

065 - Riverside

Let’s get it on! / Bint at Safeways / Tower Hill snake / 3 letter name / Spur-winged Plovers.
Oct 03, 202212:44