Maybe Swearing Helps

Hyper-independence and being purposefully busy were my coping mechanisms and never allowed me the space to process the trauma I had walked through.

Sometimes in life we cling to what we see and what we know. It’s hard to walk blindly and boldly into the unknown. Yet when we walk by faith we walk by a light that is brighter than we can imagine. When we walk by faith, we never walk alone.

Weight loss is hard, it’s even harder when it comes with a side of body dysmorphia. When I look in the mirror I do not see what others see, I don’t see the 36 pound weight loss and the struggle with clothing is harder than one could ever realize. This is me not struggling alone and looking to struggle in perfect company.

The journey to self acceptance is not an easy one. Even the most confident queen in your circle has self doubts that riddle her dreams. Come along with me as I discuss how I learned to build a home in my own skin.

Seeking help can be scary. Seeking help means admitting to yourself that you cannot do this alone, and that is perfectly ok. None of us are meant to do this alone and it’s ok to get a little help. We all deserve a safe space where we can put our burdens down and bare our soul. We deserve to live and not exist.
So ask yourself friend “Am I existing or am I living?”

Every moment we walk through is part of God’s plan. From the moments that bring us joy to the moments that break us. The light, it always finds a way to shines through the cracks of the broken. You are more than simply broken, you are beautifully broken. Come along with me as I discuss the moment I felt a boldness stir in me and came into the gift of faith. A faith that has carried me through on my darkest days.

Can you relate to chicken little? Are you tired of buying into the lie that is social media? Are you striving for perfection all while wondering, why? Well then my friend take a seat and listen in, for it’s the misfits who get the crown.

When we truly believe the seeds of faith are planted in our hearts and from those very seeds, miracles bloom.

Do you have a big “D” in your column? Me too! Did you ignore the red flags and go through with the wedding? Yeah, I did that too and I have the divorce papers to prove it. Come along with me as I dish on my first marriage and the journey to getting myself back.

My worst nightmare happened, Covid, it came home and it tried to take my Father with it. Covid stretched my faith in more ways that I can ever begin to explain. Watching my Father go from his death bed to his resurrection bed, sealed my belief that miracles are real.

Are you a hope addict? Do you refuse to give up when all the odds are stacked against you? Do you believe in a better day while clinging to a tiny shred of hope?

Winter is all fun and games, until you slip on the ice…..

When we leave this world no matter our age, we leave a stack of unfinished business in our wake. It could be a partially finished project, words that were unsaid, or a love that ended far to soon. Charlie left this world ten years ago and my life to my surprise moved on. His lessons and love will always be apart of my story.

Hey Friends, this week we are going to talk about the hard stuff and I don't mean booze. Not all engagements lead to a marriage, some end in breakups and others sadly end with a funeral. Grab some tissues and come along with me as I remember my last Sunday with Charlie.

Because of my father I am alive today. Because he lived, his heart saved mine. Because of his heart and the research they are conducting my future looks fucking bright. I’ve followed in my father’s footsteps, he was 50 when his heart gave out, I was 34 when I was diagnosed with stage one congestive Heart Failure and I am not afraid to tread down his path. For I know having high levels of C-reactive protein is no longer a death sentence, it allows us to go boldly into the night and wakeup to a beautiful painted sunrise.

Every February we wear RED to raise awareness for women's heart health. In 2009 I became the very survivor that I was advocating for. Surviving is the easy part, living is where it gets messy.

If you have a dad don’t take your time with him for granted, for he is not immune to growing old. Take the time today to start making memories. It doesn’t have to be some grand trip, it could be lunch or even just a walk in the park. Memorize his every word so that one day when he is gone you can pass his stories on. Even the highly inappropriate stories. Even the ones that make you cringe a little. When he is gone from this world his words will matter and you will be thankful that you have them to keep you company.

God Moments can be big or small. God Moments can be extraordinary or simple. God Moments can be life changing or life saving. Those moments serve as reminders that we are not in control of our timeline.

Hey Girl Hey! I am not one for Tiktok trends... but this recent trend has me all hot and bothered and reaching for the sour gummy candy like its going out of style. If you are a plus size woman or man you owe this world nothing. Especially when it comes to what you eat in a day and your desire to not loose weight. Just do you, because know one else in this world can do you like you can!

It has been 10 years since I’ve spent Christmas with Charlie. Ten very long years, yet his spirit is alive and well in our home. Oh how I’d give anything to hear his out of tune voice signing three ships as he watched a Charlie Brown Christmas. Christmas is just a little bit different in our home.

We all have that one sacred coffee cup in our collection of cups that no one is allowed to use. Sometimes we break that cup and it crushes our soul so we seek out a replacement cup. Sometimes coffee cups are more than cups, they are portals into long lost memories.

These days Thanksgiving is so over commercialized that folks forget about how the “pilgrims sat down with the Indians for a meal.” Instead we skip the story and go straight to the buffalo plaid table scapes with a perfectly roasted instagramable turkey that is surrounded by a smiling family. We get so wrapped up in the meal that we forget that Thanksgiving was the beginning of the end of Indigenous life on this continent.

YOLO! Nah we are not talking about YOLO, although it is a good motto to live by! We my friends will be talking SOLO this week and I don’t mean the red cup kind of Solo! Settle in as we discuss why I love SOLO Travel so much and why the north shore is my healing place

All it takes is one tiny spark to light the whole damn fire……..

All it took was one ring and I do not mean the ring of my telephone. As in one perfectly round plastic ring laced with hormones that you insert into your downstairs kitty cat every three weeks, ring. In the blink of an eye the Nuvaring changed my life for the better.

Hi friends, I have experienced 12 borrowed years on this earth and do not take any drop of Survivorhood for granted. Surviving is the easy part, living in the aftermath is where it gets messy. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a drink, and listen in as I tell you all of the down and dirty details of Survivorhood.

Hi friends, surviving your worst day possible is the easy part, living in the aftermath is where it gets hard. I’ve been to more funerals than I have weddings. I have watched numerous friends die from the very thing I survived. I have held back tears as I hear others tell how their strokes took their abilities away, knowing that I walked away unscathed. Survivor’s Guilt is something I deal with on the daily as I try my best to not question Fate. Pull up a chair, pour yourself a beverage and listen in as I unpack the ugly side of survivorhood.

Endometriosis was the enemy I didn’t know I had. In October 2020 I had excision surgery to remove the endometriosis from my body, turns out I had stage IV Endo and I didn’t even know it. This is my journey to diagnosis and it’s aftermath infertility.

I am firm in my belief that pumpkins are for carving, not eating! Plus come along and find out what I do to set the record straight at hooby looby!

Hi friends, I am soaking in every last drop of summer and will be back with new content in October 2021.

Friends August is knocking on our door and you know what that means…… It’s County Fair time! I can hear the sizzle of the deep fryers, the laughter from the carnival, and the cheers from the grand stand. Are you a tractor pull fan? Maybe the derby is more your speed or do you like to stroll through the home arts building? And for the love of everything holy, hot dish, and target….Don’t for get to take a moment to pet a chicken! Pull up a seat, pour yourself a beverage, and settle in as I share which county fairs are my favorite.

Hey friends! Can you believe we are already half way through the month of July? Where the heck did the first half of summer 2021 go!? If you blink fall will be knocking on our door before we know it. I finally found the swimsuit that dreams are made of. Got brave and bought a SUP, hit a Boulder with my Prius, harnessed my inner Blanch at cardio bay, and why yes, our cabin project is still going strong! I’ve been having a blast and I am not ready for hot girl summer to be over. So pour yourself a glass, pull up a comfy chair and listen in to my hot girl summer antics.

Some duos are not meant to last forever. A friendship should be a safe space where one can share their hopes, dreams, feelings, and mundane parts of life. We have to realize that not everyone’s life is the same. There will be good times and there will be bad times. We ride out the ruts with our friends because we know happier times are ahead. We cheer them on during their highs and bring over a bottle of wine during the lows. Some of us can handle all sides of our friends. Others only want the good side. I want it all, bring me your mess and I’ll help you sort it out. That’s what friendship is, it’s surviving the mess together.

Hey Friends! We all have our hang ups. Some of us love the wrinkles under our eyes while others buy every eye cream they can get their hands on. Some of us look in the mirror and see our curves as strength instead of a weakness. For me it was hiding behind my fake blonde locks, hiding so I could blend in to society’s beauty standards. After 11 years living under the disguise of a blonde I chose to go back to my natural hair color. It wasn’t an easy choice, but I am glad that I made it. So pull up a seat, pour yourself a beverage and let’s discuss my journey to self love and being a role model for blue eyed native girls.

Here in Minnesota we have something I like to call “cabin culture.” When the temps rise people load up their families and head north to the cabin. In my case we head southeast to our cabin in western Wisconsin. (that threw you for a loop didn’t it!?) While others spend hours in Cabin traffic I am sitting by the fire popping a cold one listening to the frogs sing as dusk rolls in. Come grab a seat by the fire and listen in as I tell you about our day camp restoration project.

Hey friend! I realized that I haven’t properly introduced myself yet.... that was so impolite of me! Hi I’m AmandaJean, but you can call me AJ. I hail from the land of 10,000 lakes, have a weird obsession with dinosaurs, sour gummy candy, and PYREX. I’ve been through a lot of shit and sharing my stories the good and the bad ones helps me heal. So get out of the heat, pull up a chair, poor a beverage and listen in to the story of me.

This week we are going to talk about the down right hard parts of life. Charlie will be forever forty, today would have been his fiftieth birthday. I cannot believe he’s been gone almost ten years and that he would be fifty today. That’s the thing about death, it creeps in when we least expect it and freezes us in time. In three years I will have outlived Charlie, in all time going forward I will love longer than he ever did. His life was cut short, forty is to young. One thing I do know is, he died loving me until his last breath and because of that he will always be apart of me. Love is stronger than death, for it keeps memories alive and allows us to look back at what was with a smile. I miss him dearly, but I know he is proud of me and this little life of mine. I’ll celebrate his birthday with a slice of cake and a quiet smile.

What’s happening in Canada is America’s story too. Indian Residential schools were used as a tool to execute ethnic genocide. These schools were not a safe haven, they were over run with abuse and neglect. 215 children went through the school doors and never came out. We must bring all of the children home. Where there is a school their will be bodies, some marked and others left to the sands of time. I am 2 generations removed from this era, my Grandfather was a state schooler. He was taken from the reservation and contracted out as an indentured servant at just 5 years old. The 215 hit a nerve with me because their story is a part of me, that could have easily been my Grandfather. We need to search the former school sites in the US and Canada until we bring them all home.

Covid hit home this week. It claimed the life of my dear friend and mentor. Gary Johnson was that once in a lifetime human. He was more than a professor whose teachings and mentorship went beyond my college years. I am forever grateful for his mentoring and friendship.

It’s a great time to be alive in Minnesota! The moment we have all been waiting for is finally here! The temperature is rising and those lakes are looking mighty fine. Summer is what makes living in Minnesota year round worth it! So come on now pull up a comfy chair, pour yourself a beverage and tune in to learn more about Minnesota/Wisconsin summer.

Hi there! Welcome to a new season of the Maybe Swearing Helps Podcast. AJ is taking the reins of the podcast, come along with her as she shares the good, the bad, and the funny parts of life. Gummy candy is her kryptonite and no topic is off limits for your Minnesota Best Friend.

Shitty things happen to good people. It’s so easy to get lost in the darkness and have a pity party for yourself until the wine runs out. But what if for just a moment we flip our perspective and say “why not me?” Why not me? You were built to handle whatever life throws at you. You were built to handle the good, the bad, and the ugly curve balls of life.

Making friends as a kid was easy, you just pulled out your GI Joe doll and your My Little Ponies and called it a day. Making friends as an adult is hard as it’s no longer appropriate to run to the park and pull your latest My Little Pony out of your pocket while screaming HI at the kids on the jungle gym...... well I guess you could still do that, but you might find yourself in the back of a cop car. Save yourself the trouble open that wine and pull up a seat, because the ladies have a few ideas on how to make friends as an adult that don’t involve a cop car.

Hey friends it’s that time of the week, so crack open a bubbly water, grab a snack, pull up a chair and listen in as the ladies dish about what it’s like being on the curvy side of life. Fat shaming isn’t cool, diet culture is predatory, and thank God for Lizzo! Oh and fashionable plus size clothing, moomoos are so 1976!

Have you ever been in a fight with your BFF? You know the kind where you say things you wish you didn’t and then proceed to not speak to them for Maybe years? Did you mourn that friendship? Well pull up a seat and open that bottle of wine, because the ladies have a breakup story to share. A story of self growth, learning to trust one another again, and reconciliation.

Hey friends! Pull up a seat and break open a bubbly water, because in this episode the ladies discuss what it’s like to be in a toxic friendship. Toxic friendships can impact every area of our lives and not all friends start out toxic, they sneak up on you when you least expect it! Oh and find out why AJ calls herself the “friendship bug light,” her words not ours.

Love after loss is a topic AJ knows all to well. She’s experienced a divorce and the death of her fiancé Charlie. Yet, she held out hope that one day she’d find her person. She found Jay.

Surviving a stroke is the easy part, living in the aftermath is where it gets hard. Everyone’s survival journey is different and this one is mine.