Medallica

It’s the FINAL DAY of the Olympics, which means it’s the last mention of the Turkmenistan gas crater for a while.

But we send the 2020+1 Apocalympics off in style, with a bumper show that shits on cycling in its many forms, unveils the winner of the Minnow Medal Tally, sticks it to salty Russians and puts together the best damn Olympic athlete boat race team in minnow-based Olympic podcast history.

Cheers for listening and your support over the course of these games. It means a lot - we’ll see you in Beijing* in Feb*

*pending

Look out! It’s the number one Olympics podcast that features all the best in Kyrgyzstani horse sports!

Shooting at a piece of string while on horseback aside, we take a look at the minnow medal tally, talk about the most un-Australian act of these Olympics and dissect the horror show/our favourite new sport, Mystery Horse!

Have a listen while on your government-mandated canter!

LET THIS DAY LIVE IN THE OPPOSITE OF INFAMY! Because for the first time in Medallica’s history, one of our feature minnow athletes has actually medalled!

It’s a bumper edition of the show! We obviously go off like porridge in a sock with the news that Huge Fab has won Burkina Faso’s first ever Olympic Medal, but we also come good on an ad we were paid to do, take a geeze at the Minnow Medals and cover ornithology, latin and the old country switcheroo. And that’s not even the top of the porridge-filled sock!

Make sure to get your listening gear around it.

Day 13 is in the books which means Day 12 of the Olympics is being covered (makes sense to us)

We’ve got athletes singing some of the worst songs imaginable, the battle of the Stans, American tears and the opportunity to just be.

Listen now to think, and realign your chakras.

It’s Day 12 and we are going off like a booze-filled plane full of rowdy Aussies!

We take a look at the Minnow Medals to reveal a new leader at the top of the tally, keep an eye on Huge Fab, suggest new sports for BrisVegas 2032 and talk about the world’s most famous button.

Shoot us a listen now!

It’s Day 11 and we are feeling like Aussie Swimmers after an Olympic Village bender.

But we are backing up and bringing the goods with force, like driving rain at the hurdles. We have a peek at the Minnow Medals before giving you a sampling platter of our interview with Tongan olympian/soon to be coconut oil baron Pita Taufatofua.

We also have a bumper Apocalympics Now segment just filled to the brim with defected goods, pencil dives and the classic media swtivcheroo.

Listen now if you’re having an off day because you’re only allowed one apparently.

In a huge show of trans-Tasman underdog friendship, the People’s Republic of Riggustan and Tonga have extended the taekwondo kick of friendship and come together to provide an interview for the ages.

Pita Taufatofua, the oiled-up viral sensation that is the leading cause of your Mum going into the laundry for long periods of time, got on the phone with us to talk oil, Brisbane 2032, and play the world’s first edition of Martial Art or Porn Genre.

It’s an absolute ripsnorter of an interview that Pita described as better than the one he did with Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart, so suck on your pedestrian interview skills and heaps of money fellas!

Grease yourselves up and listen now!

We’re into double digits on Day 10 of these Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics and to celebrate, we’ve filled this to the brim with a fat amorphous mass that you deserve!

In just 40 mins, we manage to ram in a reference to our exciting upcoming interview with feature athlete Pita Taufatofua, throw Qatar in the bin, check out the Minnow Medal Tally, Aussies getting on the piss, before ending on the alpha and omega of all sporting junk - Shirvo’s hammer.

Listen now!

It’s Day 9 of these 2020+1 Apocalympics and we have now seen ANOTHER minnow break their medal drought, with known slave-drivers Qatar winning gold in the weightlifting. We talk about their achievements and blatant human rights violations, as well as Rohan Browning’s junk, the minnow medals and Novak Djokovic being the actual worst.

Throw this into your ears like Joker throws racquets into the stands!

Day 8 of the Apocalympics is upon us and we are barely holding it together. The constant state of excitement about tiny countries has sent our nervous systems into overdrive.

To keep the high going, we cover the veritable flood of minnows in the athletics, have a look at the minnow medals, check in with our boy Huge Fab and witness the start of the Twitter Cold War.

Have a listen to hear us ooze verbal sweat!

Day 7 and we are officially some of the way through the Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics.

And WHAT A DAY - San Marino comes from the clouds to claim their first ever medal! We celebrate by hitting you with the most random facts about that country that we could find, and finishing the episode with Flo Rida's cash grab of an appearance on their behalf at Eurovision 2021. As always, we take a look at the Minnow Medal Tally and also write the audio obituary of the badminton artist/former feature athlete LZJ.

It’s all party in the back, as we sink the boot into American fans, explore that good old fashioned blatant racism, and how the Japanese are incapable of creating a functional item without it also being super cutesy.

Inject it into your veins!

Welcome to Day 6 of these Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics.

Headlining today’s cast is a dominant victory by LZJ in the Badminton and literally the only use for the 160,000 dongbags in the Olympic Village.

We also have a massive go at some Boomers (the generation, not the basketball team) who don’t want to know about rimjobs, go over death threats made to Chinese athletes and bring to you our new all-male strip club, The Meat Raffle.

Pour yourself a tequila and milk and get listening!

In honour of Turkmenistan’s first ever medal at the Olympics, we are up and about on the best horse drugs money can buy!

We take a look at the ever-changing Minnow Medal tally, catch up on Pita Taufatofua’s exciting Gallium medal and prepare for a Skynet-style uprising of sentient swimming touchpads.

Catch up on all the best from Day 5 of the Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics now.

It’s Day 3 of the Tokyo 2020+1 Olympics and we are not holding our bizarre Taekwondo cards close to our chests.

Straight off the bat we take a look at the Minnow Medal Tally after a huge day of action for our perennial battlers. Then, we get super toey with the near-death experiences at the triathlon, put out super weird vibes with the way of the foot and congratulate Rig on his amazing record at the Tokyo 2020+1 basketball.

Make sure to vaccinate yourself against boredom and listen to this ASAP!

Day 2 of the Tokyo 2020+1 Apocalympics is upon us and we could not be more psyched for the minnows now breaking their necks with Gallium, Steel and Brass medals.

We cover these and take a look ahead as one of our feature athletes LZJ takes to the cock in his first group fixture, bask in the zero medals that Team USA won on Day 1 and delve into heavy oysters and Channel 7’s subpar commentary.

It’s a belter and the only official audio companion guide* for these Olympic Games, so get listening!

*pending

It’s Day 1 of these games and we are both pickled and tickled pink.

After backing up from a livestream Opening Ceremony that shaved a good five years off our lives, we look forward to the start of the games proper.

We run through the Minnow Medal Tally, Minnow Watch and then bring it home with nuclear disasters, Dracula, misguided praise and thousand-year-old grudges in Apocalympics Now.

Get caught up with all the action here!

The beginning of what may be the last ever Olympics kicks off tonight and we’ve got all your prep material right here.

In this ep, we take a look at all the new sports to debut in the games, which are pretty much half sports or full hobbies. Our signature Apocalympics Now segment is full of cocaine, bears and bunting made out of dongers.

And finally, we lay out the rules for our LIVE AUDIO STREAMED OPENING CEREMONY DRINKING GAME. It kicks off at 9pm and for some reason only allows 200 listeners so first in, best dressed at that time. Visit the link below, grab some drinks and prepare to laugh from 9pm AEST.

https://www.podbean.com/lsw/medallica

The Apocalympics are upon us, as the spectre of death casts it's eyes over the games.

And that confirms one very important thing: WE BACK!

We are 2 days out from the 32nd Olympiad and we could not be more psyched because we are inside and not going anywhere. 

In this first ep, we’ll be introducing our feature minnow athletes, discussing the batshit crazy things happening on the desert oasis of Tokyo and talking all things Brisbane 2032.

You haven’t got anything better to do, so have a geeze at the first episode of Medallica: Minnows vs The World: Truck Ramp to Tokyo