Mekhaela

MEKHAELA wrote a letter a day before MILES' birthday. Maybe it was HER way to finally close HER doors and bid farewell to HIM, and also to reconcile the whole “hoping for him to come back to me”.  

"...I have loved you. That’s all that matters."

Voiced by MIA

A common friend had told MEKHAELA that Miles had dropped the towel and moved on. It was painful news to bear… how did SHE cope with it?  

"...I remembered he said to me (and I still keep that SMS he sent) that he was being honest and all. So, was all of that a lie? Was it just a joke all along? "

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA has been so clueless on what’s the true purpose of HER existence. Is SHE just here to pay the bills? To be happy? To suffer?

"For years I have been wondering what’s the purpose of my being here. I had no clue before. All I know is that I need to live and die like the rest of the lot."

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA  wrote yet another entry referring to HERSELF as a third person. Under a microscope, what does SHE mean by that? Whois SHE? What has become of HER? Let’s find out in this entry from 12 years ago.

“…and so another round of hangover begins!”, exclaimed Mekhaela as she continues to sip her Russian Vodka with a lemon twist.

Cover art by MONIQUE

Voiced by MIA

Dreams, do they make everything so real or do they make you confused the very next day? This entry speaks about how MILES had been in MEKHAELA'S dreams repeatedly and that’s quite concerning because let’s face it, SHE was in the middle of moving on.

"Recurring nightmares of him? How the hell? What the hell? Why the hell?"

Cover art by MONIQUE

Voiced by MIA

What’s the use of becoming friends with an ex who has hurt you a lot? Was MEKHAELA bitter? Was SHE still hurting? Was it still a good idea to open HER doors if he would like to extend a hand for friendship?

"He’s dead. He made me think he’s dead. "

Cover art by: MONIQUE

Voiced by: MIA

Dreaming about someone that hurt you makes it a lot harder to just shrug the feelings off. But what had MEKHAELA done to move past it? 

"After all the crap he’s been saying to me, I finally see what others have tried to warn me about. "

Cover art by: MONIQUE

Voiced by: MIA

An ex from college had suddenly reached out through social media asking why MEKHAELA disappeared and what could have gone wrong? Did he scare HER of his proposal? Let’s find out!

"Let's call him CARLISLE."

Cover Art by: MONIQUE

Voiced by: MIA

The date? November 15th of 2009. MEKHAELA couldn’t remember the time. But SHE just realized SHE spiraled back to HER weakness. How did it happen? This entry would surely explain, or probably not. It’s up to you to decide.

"The only good thing about me getting drunk is I stop talking the minute alcohol reaches to my brain. I don’t flirt, I don’t talk, I just sit there and stare at the people around me as if I’m plotting a massacre in two hours."

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

Why did she call it Sancta Terra? A sweet escape? Or a better one? Did MEKHELA create an invisible separator glass from the judging eyes of others? Let’s find out in this entry on Monday.

“Take me to a place where no one can follow”

Cover Art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA kept Miles’ messages maybe because SHE wanted to prove to HERSELF that SHE wasn’t crazy and he really existed, or probably SHE was just being creepy. Yeah, it was funny though. Or Maybe because those messages were the only thing that’s left of him.

"I used to think of him as someone who would never hurt me. But he just did, and it scared the crap out of me."

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA wasn’t good at dealing with HER emotions and SHE tends to hurt HERSELF. Maybe because when SHE gets herself wounded up, hurting HERSELF conceals the emotional pain SHE'S going through. Little did SHE know that this isn’t healthy.

"Why do I have the urge to hurt myself yet again?"

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

When the universe conspires, it does and MEKHAELA thought it was one of those instances that SHE felt the universe hated HER. SHE had to change everything. What happened to HER with Miles had affected everything. But how did it distress MEKHAELA as a whole?

"Do I need to change my route as well? "

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

The next entry speaks about the last two entries ago about MEKHAELA meeting this guy named ZIGGY. She's being asked what’s her ideal guy? A question that was asked more often every SINGLE time. Did MEKHAELA had one back then, or not? This guy's question that got MEKHAELA frozen for a bit.

"Why can’t just a guy be man enough to say to a woman’s face that it’s really over?"

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

What the hell was MEKHAELA thinking? Was suicide the only solution to everything? Or was SHE being slapped by the reality and pulled HERSELF together?

"It was a very stupid idea, I know. But have you ever gotten the feeling that problems have become so overwhelming and yet there’s no one to hear you out but yourself..."

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Voiced by MIA

Up to what extent did MEKHAELA go through just to heal?

"Guys leave you just like that without any word and that hurts especially if you’ve given your 101%."

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

Laying low after all of those things that happened to MEKHAELA was a good decision, or so SHE thought. Maybe it gave HER time to think and to pull HERSELF together.

"Some will be retained but there are some that are going to be forgotten forever. .But have they sympathized with me at the lowest point of my life?"

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA decided to simply withdraw from the people who wouldn’t understand HER. SHE thought it was all for the best. The less SHE sees them, the little they will see HER vulnerability. Was it a good decision or did it take turn for the worse?

"I’m the type who clings to every word a person says."

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

September 2009 came and MEKHAELA decided to set HER sorrows aside and start regaining HER old self. SHE knew it was a difficult process to take but SHE has to start somewhere. Did it do HER any good?

"I’m alone in my battle now and the least I can do is to protect myself against those people who take advantage of my being emotionally frail."

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

As August came to an end, MEKHAELA wrote an entry as though SHE was just speaking to MILES. As if he was just in front of HER, but he wasn’t. SHE was just talking to a wall, pretending it was him.

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

MEKHAELA never thought that August in the year 2009 plays a significant role in HER life. A ghost was haunting HER and SHE will not fully recover until MILES leaves HER in peace. Torture or what?

“It hurts knowing that I can’t have what I want, but if that person is happy with where he is at now, then I guess, I should be happy for him.”

Cover art by MONIQUE

Sound by JABS

Voiced by MIA

It was a cold and rainy August of 2009 and all MEKHAELA can talk about is HER one precious bottle. This bottle that gave HER life and happiness. But why is it so important?

“I know it’s going to be impossible that my bottle will be returned to me, however, I’m still clinging on to the hope of finding it soon. Nothing can replace it. That’s how I love that container.

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Was MEKHAELA battling this all alone or did SHE have some friends who were with HER all along?

“I can’t imagine he’s fading away from the picture. Still shocked, unable to believe. But what can I do?”

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Was it a smooth process of getting over MILES? Were there any roadblocks along the way? Did MILES suddenly make his presence known and made it too difficult for MEKHAELA?

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Did MEKHAELA still continue to fight a losing battle and hope for a better day?

"I’m lashed, slashed, and crushed. "

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Will MEKHAELA be able to slowly get her feet back and start fresh?

"Where have all the good people gone?"

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

MEKHAELA started to think that there’s no hope for happiness left of her anymore. Was it because SHE's too frustrated that SHE didn’t get what SHE wanted or was SHE just too weak to fight off the pessimism that’s been burning in HER heart?

Voice: MIA

Sound: Jabs

Cover Art: Monique

The only mistake MEKHAELA did was that SHE clung to the memories and hoping that MILES will come back. SHE had never forgiven herself for being too hard on herself. MEKHAELA still saved all the memories MILES left.

"Submissive is the word of the day. That’s me. I allow myself to be eaten by my feelings unknown to the fact that I’m slowly being killed by them in the middle of the chapter."

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

July 2009 has been a rough month for Mekhaela. But despite it all, she was able to channel her inner poet and turn her sadness into poetry. Cheesy? Quite.

"..Of the way I touch your face,
Kiss you on the lips and play with your ear
Whispering words you always long to hear,
And hear me make a giggling noise when you say you love me?"

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Cover art by MONIQUE

Mekhaela felt like she's carrying all of these adversities alone. Did anyone help? Nope! Did anyone check on her if she's okay? Hell, no. Did anyone offered to be her soundboard? Double hell no!

"It’s true what they say, even the strong ones get trampled on. "

Voiced by Mekhaela
Sound by Jabs
Cover Art by Monique

MEKHAELA will reveal a secret she had kept for so long.

"Was I caught? Nope! Veteran's Move? Hell, yeah!"

Voiced by Mekhaela

Sound by Jabs

Artwork by Monique

GUESS WHO REACHED OUT AND APOLOGIZED for putting MEKHAELA in a tight spot??

"I’m hurt. A ton of sorry would not heal the wounds but I’m sure it may serve as a painkiller for the meantime. But painkillers wear off after a couple of hours. "

Voiced by MEKHAELA

Sound by JABS

Artwork by MONIQUE

Why did MEKHAELA wait for something so vague? Maybe it was just her ego talking.  Just maybe.  

"No, I’m not an Ice Queen. I just numb myself of all the unfortunate incidents that have happened to me."

Voiced by Mekhaela

Sound by Jabs

Artwork by Monique

What was Mekhaela even fighting for? For him to come back even if she knew he won't? Was she just making a fool of herself for thinking he's for real?

"But as long as you’re on the other side of the rope waiting for me, pain is worth taking and wounds will remind me that I’m holding on with a purpose."

Voiced by Mekhaela

Sound: Jabs

Art: Monique

What did MEKHAELA do to deserve such castigation from someone she'd loved and sacrificed for? Why do people hurt her that much? 

"I easily get frustrated and angry." - Mekhaela 

Voiced by Mekhaela 

Sound: Jabs 

Art: Monique

It was a battle between her head and her heart. Mekhaela's head said the relationship was nothing but toxic, but her heart was telling her to do what makes her happy.

"Both of us can’t promise anything except to make each day very meaningful. " -Mekhaela

Host: Mekhaela 

Sound: Jabs 

Cover Art: Monique

Mekhaela started to notice that Miles was slowly fading out of the picture but she's still trying to get her hopes up. The stronger she fell for him, the more it had become, and it's making her anxious.

"Probably, I’m making a fool of myself for loving someone whom I know I can’t spend the rest of my life with."

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Mekhaela wrote an email that was never sent to MILES. She made a promise to stay. A promise she kept that sealed her fate. 

"It’s always a promise that I will keep until such time that you’ll need to break free. I won’t let go. Hope you’ll do the same."

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Mekhaela wrote a little entry in October 2008  about how she met her husband, struggled, loved, and lost.

"We thought this love would last for eternity. The joys, sorrows, pain, and hardships were nothing when we’re together. " -Mekhaela

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Mekhaela had already sabotaged everything in her life and blaming everyone for everything.

“I like to get hurt, I let go of things or people who are so important to me, and the worst part is I’m the one who gets easily affected by my decisions.”

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Did she turn to vices to forget everything?

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

It wasn't easy for Mekhaela to follow advice from people. Had she blindly obeyed someone's advice and things took turn for the worse?

"Unsolicited advice is not welcome." - Mekhaela

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Was Mekhaela becoming lazy or just fed up with everything that went on around her?

"I’m becoming more and more lazy–a lot of people told me that. Am I  lazy or just totally fed up with the daily routine, being yelled at,  being called useless idiot for no reason at all?"

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

This was the last entry of the year 2007. Mekhaela tried to reevaluate all the things that have happened to her. She was trying to figure out if those were just a setback or if there were reasons for everything. 

"I’m currently struggling– in all aspects. There are some things that I cannot avoid and the worst part of it is that I haven’t done anything to either stop or change it."

Host: Mekhaela
Sound: Jabs
Cover Art: Monique

Mekhaela recalled that she was worried that her temper was spreading like cancer, that's why she's trying to keep herself from socializing. That affected her relationship with her family, friends, and even her husband.

"Why keeping these a secret? People sometimes do that. I don’t know. Maybe I’m one of them… or maybe I’m not. It depends on the situation."

Voice by Mekhaela

Sound: Jabs

Art: Monique