Misfortune Cookies

Tom & Steph talk about what it was like to work as Asian American nurses during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. They describe the fear, trauma, and exhaustion they experienced at the frontlines. Nevertheless, Tom and Steph also share how they found resilience and hope by learning to lean on each other - and their dog, Remy.

Note: This episode was recorded in August 2021.

Joyce talks to Erin about her journey growing up as a Chinese American girl in a middle eastern country before moving to the US for college. Our discussion includes:

- The role of women in the Middle East vs in the West/United States
- Being a "Third Culture Kid"
- Dancing as a way to reclaim your space, feel at home in your body, and find your confidence/voice
- American individualism vs Eastern collectivism

[CW: Mention of self harm] Linde talks to Alex about his complex racial identity journey as the son of Vietnamese refugees. Alex shares about:

- Being pushed away from Vietnamese community, finding a home in the Chicano community instead and wanting to be a gang member

- Coping with his mom’s cancer diagnosis and a breakup in college

- Finding healing through ethnic studies and becoming curious about the Vietnam war, which his dad fought in

- Reconnecting with the Vietnamese community, and some of the difficult political dynamics involved

- Feeling disconnected from the umbrella Asian American story, which typically draws from upper-middle class and East Asian narratives

Rachel chats with our guest, Albert, as he shares his educational upbringing as a first generation Taiwanese American raised in the Silicon Valley. As the “black sheep” of the family, he offers his story as a counter-narrative to the typical East Asian American experience in the Bay Area. His story includes:

- Growing up overweight, getting terrible grades, and struggling with both ADD (attention deficit disorder) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

- How his family came to terms with his academic struggle and learning differences

- Pursuing a career in the humanities rather than STEM

- Navigating an academically toxic schooling environment

- The relationship between meritocracy and privilege

- How his upbringing informs his pedagogy as a teacher today

We talk to guests Ernest and Joyce about the ups and downs of their dating experiences. We cover a lot of ground, but some highlights include:

- The dating narratives they grew up with (e.g. “kissing dating goodbye”)

- Racial dynamics in dating - Is it okay to have racial preferences? Stereotypes that Asians have to deal with?

- Swiping, ghosting, dating fatigue, and mental health

- How to be a good friend to single friends

We're finally back with Season 2 of the Misfortune Cookies Podcast...and with an announcement!

Follow us on Instagram for updates: https://www.instagram.com/misfortunecookiespodcast/.

[CW: Sexual assault, suicidal thoughts/attempts] As a child, James experienced a series of traumatic events, but was forbidden to speak about them due to the stigma involved. He describes how he came to develop a rigid, transactional understanding of relationships, and how this framework ultimately failed him as an adult. Today, James is grateful and proud to be a bicultural Asian American, and works hard to enjoy the best of both worlds.

Growing up in a body considered unattractive by others, Mary Ann internalized feelings of unworthiness at a very young age. These messages led her to develop an unsustainable identity rooted in self-erasure, yet her self-denial was celebrated in Asian evangelical culture. We discuss the cultural glorification of romantic relationships: how it intensified her loneliness, and how it continues to alienate those who do not participate in the church's relational hierarchy.

Karl interviews Jarren who shares his story of waking up to find out that his dad had suddenly passed. We talk about the painful logistics of planning a funeral during COVID-19, what it's like to grieve a complicated relationship, and the inter-generational trauma that runs in Chinese immigrant families.

You’re listening to the Misfortune Cookies podcast. A homemade podcast where Asian Americans share their mental health stories. My name is Rachel. My name is Karl. We’re a married couple living in Philly and we’re so glad you’re here.