The Not Safe For Work Podcast

The Not Safe For Work Podcast

By Drew Current/Sharla Hale
WARNING: Everything is garbage and nothing matters. No one should listen to this podcast for any reason ever. We are garbage people that talk about garbage things that would land you a "meeting" with HR at your stupid job.

If you listen to any of this, it's your fault and you should feel bad. You f**king weirdo.

Also, if you're going to leave us a review, make it a scathing review with a 5 star rating. The more cruel the better. Like...really go to town. It's okay, we deserve it.
Where to listen
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Top 10 Favorite Cattle Mutilations
We're back, unfortunately. This one is about cattle mutilations. Its not recommended that you listen to it nor should you tell someone to listen to it. 
1:11:16
May 8, 2020
S2 E2 - Night Calls 2: The Movie...The Podcast...The Ride
We fulfill some promises in this one. They are stupid trash promises. But they are promises. It's probably about time you stop listening now right?
1:02:38
October 26, 2018
S2 E1 - Back with a Cactus
We are back with a new season unfortunately. We have new segments and sh!t. People like segments right? Anyway. Nothing changes. Don't listen to this season either.
49:55
October 5, 2018
Episode 42 - Top 5 Most Hilarious Animal Practices
We took a break. We forgot to put up our last episode of the season. This one is about animals again, but like...dead animals. So obviously you can skip this one. We'll be back with a new season unfortunately. Whatever.
45:51
September 20, 2018
Episode 41 - Top 5 Biggest D!ck Energies
We talk about BDE in this one. It's really stupid. No need to listen.
1:04:41
July 18, 2018
Episode 40 - Drewpinions (Fraud Edition)
We talk about fraud in this one. Drew gives his opinions about fraud. That's why we are calling this episode Drewpinions. We're very clever. Just kidding, we're idiots. Don't listen.
1:03:24
June 30, 2018
Episode 39 - Top 5 Enslavements
We talk about slavery in this one. All kinds. We also talk about puppies but don't let that persuade you to listen to this episode. It's still garbage and we're garbage.
53:33
June 29, 2018
Episode 38 - Top 5 Hilarious Brazilian Wax Bloopers
Drew got a Brazilian wax from the amazing Matt Leyes at Men's Grooming Parlor in Chicago so we talk about that. Matt is amazing, but we are trash people. Just a friendly reminder not to listen to this podcast.
1:05:41
June 9, 2018
Episode 37 - Top 5 Wildest Gang Initiations
We talk about gangs and the fun stuff they do to anyone who wants to join. We also started a gang so we shouldn't need to tell you, don't listen to this.
1:23:13
May 31, 2018
Episode 36 - Top 5 Most Surprising X-Rays
We talk about things that shouldn't be in you, 911 calls. And some other s#it. Nothing matters. You shouldn't be listening anyway.
1:22:22
May 17, 2018
Episode 35 - Top 5 Best Lifetime Movies
We have the beautiful host of the podcast Lifetime Uncorked Patrick Serrano on this one. His podcast is better than this one. Listen to that one instead. Also, we talk about dirty nasty toys.
1:08:58
May 11, 2018
Episode 34 - Top 5 Sexiest Body Mods
This one is about body modification. Consider skipping this one, and all others forever.
55:39
May 4, 2018
Episode 33 - Top 5 Best Food Pranks
In this one we talk about people puttin' weird s#it in other people's food. Not even worth it to be honest. You can stop listening now.
56:38
April 27, 2018
Episode 32 - Top 5 Ways to Lose Those Extra Pounds Before Summer
We talk about parasites in this one. We don't condone listening to this episode. Actually...please don't.
59:27
April 19, 2018
Episode 31 - Top 5 Best Krokodil Recipies
We promised last week we would talk about the new drug Krokodil. We kept our promise despite the fact that we told you not to listened to the last episode. Stop listening to this garbage.
55:52
April 13, 2018
Episode 30 - Top 5 Best Drugs to Overdose
We talk about drugs in this one. And there's some light demon talk. Don't even worry about this one.
1:00:50
April 6, 2018
Episode 29 - Top 5 Most Patrick Hales
Universehead producer/engineer/Sharla's husband Patrick Hale joins us in being terrible to talk about incest. Along with a new segment "Everything is Garbage and Nothing Matters". It doesn't matter though. Hopefully you're not listening to this dumpster fire of a podcast.
1:00:48
March 29, 2018
Episode 28 - Top 5 Most Ridiculous Traditions
We talk about some traditions around the world that need to f**king stop.  Friendly reminder: Stop listening to this podcast.
36:06
March 22, 2018
Episode 27 - Top 5 Most Religious-y Religions
We talk about religion. It's a very inappropriate thing to talk about. You probably don't want to listen to this one.
41:41
March 10, 2018
Episode 26 - Top 5 Sexiest Badonkeydonks
We talk about donkeys on this one so, obviously you can skip this one and listen to another podcast instead. We recommend Doc Hard or something.
23:52
March 2, 2018
Episode 25 - Top 5 Brett Manneses
Drew is out this time around, but Sharla still gives the filth with guest host Brett Mannes from Comic Book Queers podcast. Brett is disgusting, don't even worry about listening to this one. Comic Book Queers is great though. Listen to that show instead.
16:39
February 16, 2018
Episode 24 - Top 5 Sexiest Deaths!
We make death look sexy. Just kidding. There is nothing sexy about this episode. Just a reminder...don't listen to this podcast anymore.
32:09
January 24, 2018
Episode 23 - Top 5 Most Effective Home Remedies!
We talk about some terrible home remedies. You know what's not a good remedy? This podcast. You can skip this one and just go see a doctor instead.
40:50
January 17, 2018
BONUS EPISODE - Universehead Network Interview with Tim Kazurinsky
In this bonus episode Patrick Hale (Co-owner and Co-producer of Universehead Podcast Network sits down with SNL alumni and screenwriter Tim Kazurinsky.
27:51
January 12, 2018
Episode 22 - Top 5 Tim Kazurinskys
We don't deserve to have SNL alumni, and screenwriter Tim Kazurinski on the show with us...but somehow we do. We talk to him about the crazy days of SNL and masturbating monkeys. We normally suggest not listening to these episodes, but this one? You should listen to this one.  We are awful garbage people, but Tim is a great, great man.
37:55
January 10, 2018
Episode 21 - Would Sharla Rather...
It's Sharla's birthday so Drew does all the heavy lifting. Please skip this one.
32:21
December 31, 2017
Episode 20 - Top 5 Most Business-y Businesses!
We talk porn statistics in this one. You don't really need to know this stuff. Don't even worry about it.
44:26
December 15, 2017
Epidsode 19 - Top 5 Most Inferior Men
We talk nasty with Chris Tourre And Steve Hund from the Inferior Men Podcast. They're horrible, don't listen to this one. Their podcast is great though, you should listen to their show instead.
37:55
December 7, 2017
Episode 18 - Top 5 Worst Zodiac Signs
This one is about poop, and what your poop says about you. So you can probably skip this one.
49:24
November 30, 2017
Episode 17 - Would Drew Rather: Giving You Thank Yous
Sharla asks horrible questions. Drew tries to answer them in earnest. Don't even bother with this one.
32:50
November 23, 2017
Episode 16 - Top 5 Hottest Dolls!
We talk about real dolls in this one. It's not worth it. Don't listen.
33:58
November 16, 2017
Episode 15 - Top 5 Most Romantic Getaways!
Get a glass of wine. Put on some sexy tunes. Cuddle up next to the one you love. Then both of you kill yourselves together.   There're some great podcasts out there. This is not one of those. Please don't listen.
48:23
November 8, 2017
Episode 14 - Top 5 Scariest Haunted Houses!
We talk about blood. We talk about Drew's kidney stones. Whatever. Look...We're not trying to tell you what to do. But please stop listening to this podcast.
55:25
October 31, 2017
Episode 13 - Would-Drew Rather
We play Would You Rather, but instead of "you" we replace it with Drew. Because it ryhmes. Get it? Why are you still listening to this garbage?
22:11
October 25, 2017
Episode 12 - Top 5 SPOOOOOKIEST Halloween Costumes
We play D&D kinda. Not really, but sort of. I don't know this one is mostly about human sacrifice. We hated it. You should hate it too. Please stop listening to this show. We don't want to do this anymore.
43:58
October 18, 2017
Episode 11 - Top 5 Most Delicious Foods Around The World
The beautifully disgusting Nick and Jess De Fina join us this week. This one is about fu#$ed up foods. You may gag a bit. Also poop stories. Don't listen to this podcast anymore.
45:42
October 11, 2017
Episode 10 - Top 5 Most Amazing Talents!
We have a guest this week! Abso Lutely Production's very own Drew Kordik joins in on this horrible thing we call a podcast. This one is about world records. Spoiler alert...they're not from Guinness.
49:09
October 4, 2017
Episode 9 - Top 5 Teachers Of The Year!
This is our Hangover Special because we were hungover from drinking too much alcohol. This one's about how important it is to have a good teacher.
47:36
September 27, 2017
Episode 8 - Top 5 Most Hilarious Torture Devices! LOL!
Still here huh? Okay. Well, We talk about torture in this one...so...You can thank Rasheeda Moore for this.
1:00:26
September 20, 2017
Episode 7 - Top 5 Wackiest Serial Killers!
This one is about serial killers. Don't listen to it please. Thanks.
59:36
September 12, 2017
Episode 6 - Top 5 Stuffed Animals to Snuggle With... You will Not Believe What We Found!
You're still listening to this? I mean...it's not gonna get any better. Fine. This one is about becoming one with things.
45:00
September 6, 2017
Episode 5 - Top 5 Best Ways to Go Out With A Bang
Diseases...this one is about diseases. We're not sure why we keep doing this. It's bad. Sorry Jessica.
44:40
August 28, 2017
Episode 4 - Top 5 Ways to Make Sure Your Baby is Better Than All Babies
This one is about babies. Don't listen to this episode. This episode is safe for work, but it isn't safe for you as a person...just sayin'.
35:20
August 18, 2017
Episode 3 - Top 5 Scariest Ghost Stories To Tell Around A Camp Fire
This week: Waking up to a Ghost blow jay...or ghojob? I don't know. This one's about ghosts.
40:18
August 11, 2017
Episode 2 - Top 5 Ways to Make Your Coworkers More Excited To Work With You!
This week: Fantastic Fetishes and Where to Find them.
35:23
August 11, 2017
Episode 1 - Top 7 Most Adorable Lesser Apes! OMG!
We are Sharla and Drew. We look up stuff that you shouldn't look up on the internet and talk about it. This one is about animals and the love we have for them. We do not recommend listening to this show.
47:26
August 10, 2017