The Pen 15 Podcast

The final episode. For real this time. And what a send off! Pee Wee Herman on the Titanic is easily one of the top five bits ever in the history of the podcast. We actually just kinda talk about Pee Wee Herman a lot this episode. Also, Celine Dion looks like dogshit. And jerking off to The L Word is my form of peaceful protest.

Thanks to everyone who listened. There will never be another Pen 15 Podcast, and Olde City Matt will more than likely retire. So...see ya never, I guess. Tim Wolfe'll be around though.

Our second to last episode ever! The final Tim's dad story. The Wal Mart demon. How do you spell computer?

This podcast is gay and black.

I'm joined by famous Reno, Northeast Ohio, and Western Pennsylvania comic Dylan Lusk! We discuss how awful Ravenna, OH is, how awful Philly's stand up scene is, that thing I tried to convince my girlfriend was true, the dicksucking app for PS4, and dog dick.

I come out as trans in this episode. Also, the name of that bar in Stow is On Tap. It's logo is a bison in a bow tie. It's cute.

Two episodes left!

Originally aired on Patreon October 18th, 2020. Brian, Shawn Beef, and Enigmatic Steve were on this one, plus Tim Wolfe in one of his early appearances before he was a co-host.

Shawn brings back his classic character Anne Gyna. Steve made friends with a neo-Nazi. I'm afraid of the Tin Man. We talk about Paris Hilton and Edward Furlong. Shooting up your school is now hack. N Sync songs are all about killing yourself. This was the longest episode of The Pen 15 Podcast.

Sad announcement: we're ending the podcast soon. Again. But permanently this time. There are three episodes left after this.

We discuss ICP and Juggalos in this one. No lie, this turned out to be probably one of our funniest.

This episode contains:

-how to make or break a date

-the funny thing I tried to convince my girlfriend was real

-Charlie Manson's Angels

-the story of how Tim found his way back home from Meadville

-our (possible) new bit, actor swap. 

This episode we tell the true story of how the Indians lost their land! Also, Tim makes a dark confession and I can't tell if he's being ironic or not. You don't wanna miss this one. 

Welcome to the Matt and Tim N word power hour! Featuring:

-Tim Wolfe would do anything for fame...including that.
-That time Tim got a DUI and could finally end things with a girl he didn't like.
-How The Shawshank Redemption should've ended, and how every Tom Hanks movie should begin.

Shoutout to Kent, OH! Me and Tim finally hung out for the first time in six years!

This one came out September 2020 and includes such highlights as Smokey the Twink, Pole McCartney, Freedom Kahlo, and No Look Liu, which was my favorite joke made on the podcast during the original run.

Again, if you want to see more content like this, spread the word and I will organize some sort of Patreon revival.

To see what other juicy goodies we had on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/pen15podcast?fan_landing=true

Guinea pigs having sex. Ugly people having sex. David Carradine having suicidal sex. 

Sex.

This episode is dedicated to Trevor Moore. RIP

This episode is a year old and was one of the three bonus episodes released on Patreon when we had one up and running. Our concept back then was to post a poll on Facebook and let the people in the group vote on the bonus topic. The topic here was the old internet. Here it is, free and available to the public for the first time.

If we increase listenership, I would love to reanimate the Patreon and have a reason to make stuff like this again. So if you like what you hear, spread the word. There are two more episodes like this and loads of more bonus content over at https://www.patreon.com/pen15podcast?fan_landing=true

Tim's idea for a bee movie. No, not B Movie, thought we talk about that too. Jerry Seinfeld is bees. Oogie Boogie is black. 

This episode contains some advice to our listeners: what to tell a girl the next time she says that you don't have your shit together.

We also talk about furries (again again) in this one. Also, Rocket Power. That show was gay.

I'm joined by Tim Wolfe, Movie Theater Kelly, and special guest Freddy Krueger. We discuss a cunnilingus scene in R.L. Stine's woke new show, hamster's in asses, Tim's aggressively homosexual landlord, and the completely autistic way Tim pronounces "Antarctica."

Rudolph the black eyed reindeer. Santa fucks. Affirmative lafftion.

We also discuss the worst religion of all (it's the one you're thinking of).

The dean of college. A cop's handy dandy framing utility belt. Catdog. A conversation between Bill Cosby and Joe Pesci. The brief return of Movie Theater Kelly.

Tim Wolfe is now more famous than Andy Dick.

Tim Wolfe is Walter White Jr. He's also apparently not allowed to do cocaine. We do  impressions in this one. Are people listening to this podcast while they fuck? Did Tom Sizemore have sex with Michael Rappaport?

This one is wild.

I'm joined by Steve and Dave as we discuss last names, Brock Lesnar's daughter, the Wachowski sisters, some LGBT history, and the return of Bill Clinton!

This episode is sponsored by John R. Deady Funeral Home. It's real. Look it up.

Tim's landlord asks him on an erotic vacation. Tim's dad does a real life bit to his son. Tim opens up about his porn hangups. Maybe I should just rename this "Tim Wolfe: the Podcast."

Let's get restarted HAA

This episode, me, Dave, and Steve discuss retard strength, Muslim years, and Olmec's sexy DSLs.

This episode is dedicated to John McAfee. You will be missed forever. RIP

Human investments. Depressed dogs. Incels. Hostage negotiation. Me and Tim Wolfe get emo on a brand new episode!

"If you're a girl that loves dick, I wouldn't recommend me being the one who gives it to you." 

-A wise man

I'm back in the studio with Steve and Dave. We discuss gaping cootchie, professions for asexuals, your pornstar daughter, Dave's possibly gay dog, and how awful Big Bang Theory is.

So...how wide is YOUR pussy?

I'm joined by world famous Ohio comedian Miki Janosi! We discuss being bald, retarded superheroes, the missile alert, top deaths, botched deaths, celebrity botched deaths, and deaths.

Influencers! That's the word I was looking for.

I have decided to make Tim Wolfe an official co-host of the podcast! We beg the question: does being horny cure racism? We also talk some shit on Forrest Whitaker, Roger Ebert, and Gabriel Inglesias. Featuring special guest, Tim's mom! 

If you love us, leave a good review on Apple Podcasts. If you hate us, leave a good review on Apple Podcasts. Then stick my dick in your mouth. 

I'm joined by Steve and Asian Dave again. We discuss Kevin Federline, gambling, r/kelly, and how it would be cool to be gay.

A call to all our fans: do me a favor. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts. I don't trust Anchor's numbers anymore and want to get some idea of how many people are actually listening to this.

I'm joined by Joseph Larkin of the W3 Thr33 Tr0lls podcast! We talk about homeless people (a lot), the disintegration of life in California, Joseph's alcoholic dad, that one time I met the horse from Dances with Wolves, and Philly. Fuck Philly.

Check out W3 Thr33 Tr0lls here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/w3-thr33-tr0lls/id1334403037

Part 2 of my chat with Gene DiNapoli! We discuss Gene's show, Jackass, and more crazy Elvis stories!

Be sure to check out Reminiscing with Gene DiNapoli: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCW27xk54_sX-Y0B6InLUBWA
If you want to book Gene, have him marry you, or feel compelled to spend the day with Elvis, visit his website: https://www.genedinapoli.com/

I'm joined by two newcomers, Steve and Dave. We talk about yo mama jokes, Undercover Boss, and getting pooped on in what has to be the most misogynistic episode of this podcast.

Happy pride.

Part 1 of my chat with America's youngest Elvis impersonator and Cum Town favorite, Gene DiNapoli! We discuss his aftermath of being on Cum Town, that time Scumbag Vinny had me on his show, and, of course, all things Elvis!

Hey Cum Town! Get Gene back on!

If you want to book Gene, have him marry you, or check out his podcast, visit: https://www.genedinapoli.com/

Brian's friend's wild cigarette claim. High school stories. My dumbest bitch of the week yet. Brian can name every My Little Pony.

This dog don't hunt.

Fetal alcohol syndrome, throwback jokes, and a huge shoutout to Charlotte: America's greatest city.

Can you take me high, meow?
To a place where cats can meow?

Ladies and gentlemen, this episode contains what is probably the greatest, most fucked up story ever told on this podcast. You have been warned. 

Tim Wolfe returns! We discuss Scientology, Carlos Mencia, getting a lap dance while pooping, Sam Kinison's last words, Jesus at the Nazareth open mic, and how his parents just don't understand.

The chickens are crossing the road in this one.

Shawn Beef tells a story of love and romance. We shit on the British. We shit on the Irish. We shit on lazy eyes. We dream of hanging out with trainwreck celebrities.

So pop that chub!

Pokemon. Bar etiquette. Alternate movie endings. Robert di Niro's sneaky trap. Polite pedophiles. Brian abandoning his future children. Special needs Batman.

I laughed so hard I cried in this one.

Shawn Beef returns! We discuss Tom Cruise, Brian's adventures in an after hours bar, Philly's most infamous strip club The Republican, and Mary Todd Lincoln's head game.

Seriously though, the Republican is wild.

American cartoons vs anime in this episode. Brian and I submit some favorites from both. We also discuss my old roommate who used to watch hentai, and some statistics of the podcast.

Shoutout to Super Eyepatch Wolf, who isn't listening to this show.

Some lady named Kelly called in and told some hilarious stories about working at a movie theater. We discuss people smuggling children, Seth Rogan's filthy body, and homeless people and their coffee. 

I finally give my take on cops. Are they all bastards? Listen and find out!

Me and Brian also bring back bitch of the week! This week, we cover advertisements and smug scientists. 

This week, I'm joined by famous Northeast Ohio (now LA based) comedian, Devin Conner! We discuss the awful problem in Norton, OH, Paul Blart 3, that time I said the n word in a movie theater, and hot pussy, baby.

Sha ba doo!

No seriously. He died last year, did anyone hear about this? I had no idea.

Oh yeah. WE'RE BACK BABY! I'm joined in the studio by Brian, where we discuss Michael Caine, a shitty movie, and male role models.

This episode is brought to you by the letter K. K is for Komeback, bitch!

I'm joined by Birmingham raised, Philly based comedian, Rat Boy James Moss. We discuss railing out Kay Ivey, comedian James Mahal, Goosebumps books, and when shows become aware of their audience.

I want to play a game...

The second part of my conversation with Thyler and Jake of Fartmouth Podcast! We talk about the Navy, dogs, and the return of a classic Pen 15 joke!

We like it ruff.

Be sure to check out Fartmouth Podcast!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fartmouth/id1492741786

This episode, I have the pleasure of talking to Thyler and Jake, hosts of Fartmouth, one of my absolute favorite podcasts. So naturally, we talk about podcasts, a topic that I've mostly successfully avoided. Fuck.

We also discuss their song parodies, baby dick (it's not what you think...it's worse), cavernous cootchie, and a certain museum director with big tits.

If you haven't listened to Fartmouth, check them out!: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fartmouth/id1492741786

 

The end of my conversation with famous Northeast Ohio comedian Tim Wolfe!
Slenderman, Jeff Foxworthy, and Tim's new movie. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe during this one. 

Famous northeast Ohio comedian Tim Wolfe's return call in! We talk about the South, blackface, Nascar, the corniest joke I've ever made, and Tim's story of getting abandoned in Chicago...TWICE! In two years! This is the story of the folding chair that broke the camel's back.

Tune in next week for part 2!

We're back with a new call in segment! Clay of The Dick Show fame calls in again, rocking a rhino horn and pounding some Natty. We talk about high school dares, his pee blowjob story, and the fate of the girl he banged with cancer. This episode might just be the fuckest.

Regular in room episodes will resume in the upcoming month. This side series will persist before and during the regular run.

For those who supported us, waiting patiently for our return: thank you, Penheads.

The Pen 15 Podcast will be revived this year, most likely sometime in the next couple months. Here's a little best of I threw together for a marketing thing. Enjoy.

There is also a joke in here from an old bonus episode that is probably new to most of you.

And in the end
The love you take
Is equal to
The size of your Pen 15

Thanks for listening, Penheads.

Some friends of ours:

Let Us Be Idiots: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/let-us-be-idiots/id1479014669?fbclid=IwAR27U_TC4XeZbOkiORr6y8K6Z7JQy7w9_jbHskgZ0Y085eZJT4d3ohhWEgk

Rushmore Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rushmore-podcast/id1329831952

Ryan Boyle: https://www.instagram.com/not.ryan.boyle/

Tim Wolfe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHfkWbNUwM4&t=31s

Tardvark: https://www.youtube.com/user/zachdify

I came THIS CLOSE to not having an episode this week until Pepper Goins of the Rushmore Podcast decided to call in from work.

We talk about car robberies in Jackson, MS, how Pepper used to be a hot girl, and about collaborating on a new future podcast...that would get us murdered.