Pie Hard
By RBS Media
Pie HardApr 10, 2024
084 - Crotch Goblins
Pie Hard returns to ride the Daicos family bronco, analyse 'that' goal and the Carlton win, our standout rookies, the Buckley auction, veteran report cards, Fly's hard edge, to draft or to trade, plus our rating of the top ten Magpie marks this century. Giddyup!
083 - Force Quit
Pie Hard returns mid hangover to analyse the Collingwood malaise, blame the fixture, send an SOS to Graham Wright, denounce John Farnham, query Fly's writer's room, lament game style deficiencies, retire old veterans, compliment only two players and generally remember how good last year was
082 - Relapse (Part 2)
In Part 2, we chat the redemption of John Noble, Darcy Moore in Speedos, Dane Swan’s foray into food television, Murphy’s concussions, De Goey’s digs, plus our suggestion for Craig McRae’s new motivational theme for Collingwood’s premiership defence, and our Ned Guy ‘he’ll surprise you’ picks for the most improved player for the upcoming season
082 - Relapse (Part 1)
[Part 1 of 2]
We return for a new season of pie hard with the pod version of a double-header. We describe our experience of getting clean off Collingwood post Grand Final and then relapsing again and again, revisit the post-premiership orgasm, rate our favourite offseason narratives, discuss Graham “Contiki” Wright’s Euro Gap Year, breakdown Collingwood’s recent foray into the cinematic universe, plus we chat offseason movements, Mini Mihocek, Craig McRae’s self-imposed use by date and Isaac Quaynor’s phenomenal summer
081 - The Premiership Episode
We wrap up an immortal season marinated in red wine, stuffed with wholesome, and basted in the succulent juices of ultimate glory in the most indulgent breakdown of Collingwood's 16th premiership yet
080 - Perfect Day
We celebrate a bumper grand final week with all the hard news, hard asks, hard predictions and hard plans leading into Saturday's mega climax
079 - Cuddleball
We marinate in the glory of a special preliminary final victory, discuss the relationship debit and credit system ahead of grand final week, the art of Cuddleball, our run in with some old saints, De Goey the giant slayer, the loss of McStay, and revisit your favourite red wine replays from Collingwood’s one-point victory against GWS
078 - Just Win
We take preliminary final lessons from mythology, necromancy, tattoo artists, miracle hamstrings and Colombian remedies, plus our attempts to look good, smell good, feel good, play good, and we find out what's on your mind ahead of Collingwood’s 11th prelim in 22 years
077 - Magpie Truffle
We spend the week off renaming Collingwood babies and magpie sculptures, discussing the Maynard shitstorm, deciphering the new culinary gameplan, preparing the premiership poster, and planning a glorious weekend of self-care and injury schadenfreude
076 - Portholes
Pie Hard returns for a bumper finals series featuring Qualifying Final predictions, selection conundrums, private jets, moon phases, Grand Final entertainment, Nick's knee cream, Fly's keynote and Oleg's underpants
075 - Jekyll & Hyde
Pie Hard turns to the people to address your questions and anxieties, feat. dirty grand final apparel, Nick VS Josh, our preferred finals matchup, Fly's mind games, a Malthouse return, ice cold Crownies, Jarrod 'druid' Wade, and our plans for a Collingwood army fleet of lime scooters
074 - Bone Broth
Pie Hard rediscovers the club's mojo with a brand new Terrace Talk, juicy red wine replay, Ginni and the recipe of team selection, Bobby's break-out, the Moore injury, Nick's bone broth, Fly's man crush, Ken Done pastels, and is it finally time for a Jarrod Wade badge?
073 - Chill
We bemoan the lack of red wine, unpick the team malaise, and dissect the three act structure of the Collingwood season, plus a secret visit to the halls of power, navigating life after wholesome, Damien's Daicos family connection, and our foolproof recipe for getting the team back on track
072 - Apparel Jinxes
We chat apparel jinxes, ins & outs, the Howe move and the Cox question plus Daicos contract extensions, Jeff Browne hair extensions, the IQ fragrance, Magpie cookware and Heretier’s new business
071 - The P Word
We chat love bombing Fly and bully boy Ken, goon bags or aperol spritz, football therapy, Nathan's string, that Beau McCreery kick, the Mason Seinfeld jibe, Graham’s signing spree, plus the deliciously low stakes Carlton game and finding the gumption to mention the P word
070 - Kids
Pie Hard turns seventy with more pizza pie and red wine replay, plus kid talk, Collingwood crocs, Daicos diary, Nathan's imminent return, the beauwatch extension and our thoughts on Port the beverage and the opponent
069 - Daicos Sphere
We chat Belarusian prison tattoos, Daicos spheres, country footy bashings, Peter dancing in the aisles, Pendlebury pizza, Ginnivan's future, our IQ admiration club and Gabriel Gaté inspired magpie cooking shows
068 - Edging
We chat about the key to getting Taylor Swift down to Collingwood, edging, contrast therapy, weaponising happiness, the Ben King fitness test and the brands turning to the Pies to endorse their products
067 - Hard Chart - Mid Season Edition
In a special bye episode of Pie Hard, we count down the hardest moments from the first half of the season
066 - Ins and Outs
We enlist AI to help decipher a rare loss, debate the pros and cons of segregating fans, why bigger slides are better, the problem with Grundy's portrait, the players code, flu fatigue and the lessons of Jens Voigt, non hungover contract extensions, shitty ghost written biographies, the beauty of the bye, plus the cultural high water mark of 2000's Sunsilk commercials featuring Matthew Lokan.
065 - Time Capsule
We chat second teams, Carlton Schadenfreude, Pies media watch, wholesome gods and the unlikely Collingwood totem, plus our bombshell road trip strategy, the Pie Hard time capsule, milestone men and the Steele biopic
064 - Alive!
We chat about love bombing Marvel Stadium, cannibal football sides, Carlton sapping the vibe, adorable Ash, floating stadium parties, hotel mini bar hacks, Bezos’ free pies, the river of Collingwood hate slime, and in honour of his 300th game, we share some lesser known Steele Sidebottom facts
063 - Wholesome Pies
We chat about missing games due to cursed in-flight wifi, match day indulgences, how not to approach magpie legends in the wild, plus we explore Jungian archetypes, animal menageries, red wine replays and our genuine love of the wholesome Pies
062 - Nemeses
We chat Camilla and the coronation pies, 'striker' Mihocek, the Collingwood Benjamin Button, sinister swans and the return of the boo debate, Jeff Browne's dicky groin, plus our guide to tailgate parties and surviving the fixture solstice
061 - Daicosic Park
Welcome to Daicosic Park, a podcast suspended in amber resin, featuring both the Adelaide and Anzac day games, the Collingwood Richo, player doxing, the unhateable Pies, e-bike bliss, Darcy orations, sad sundays, Flying V's, disgusting umpiring, bean bag reviews, medicinal remedies plus the celebrity chef race and more Pie culture than the American 60 minutes
060 - Frankenstein
We taste test Gather round weet-bix & wines, carwash tube men, 'Lucky' injuries, the old ruckman debate, another fucking basketballer recruit, plus Beauwatch hits the road, your most versatile pies and our favourite all time Anzac day memories
059 - Slimeball
We chat about Albino wallabies, schedule losses, PR Hyperbole, Harlem Globetrotters, Tom Browne’s Collingwood mole, the Pies forgotten ruck hope, selling home games, a team full of Daicoses, pieswashing, Collingwood’s home in Adelaide, and our plans for 4:20pm Sunday
058 - The Michelangelo Finger
We chat about afterglow champagne, dick and balls graffiti, removing the lid, supporter beast mode, bullshit boundary signs, WHE and the maligned magpies, body language shaming with Peter Frampton, plus Nick and the Michelangelo finger
057 - Basted
We chat about Darcy the Vampire Slayer, sensory overload, the MCG scent, basting the opposition, key bumps in the outer, plastered Peter, dressing for football in March and Terrace Talk returns
056 - Difficult Second Album
McRae's difficult second album, anointing the Collingwood Ataturk, predicting the next cult pie, ugly ass wharf pylons, the AFL merch shakeup, moving Mihocek magnets, invoicing Ed Sheeran and our honest season predictions
055 - Hard Chart
In a new episode of Pie Hard, Alex and Damien count down the hardest moments from Collingwood's offseason
054 - Paul Williams
Paul Williams was the poster boy of 90s Collingwood. His ability to kick long running goals captivated supporters during a dark time when team success eluded the Magpies. We chat with Paul about his bromance with Graham Wright, Nathan Buckley's basketball skills, those running goals, player curfews and nightclub bans, end of season trip bonding, rooming with Monkey, coach Tony Shaw’s visionary game plans, the meeting with Mick Malthouse that sealed his fate at Collingwood, moving to Sydney, Bloods culture, getting sacked from Carlton via courier and how he’s rekindled his love for the pies
053 - Fly Spray
Peter McKenna the Rastafarian, Fly Spray, Collingwood royalty, the big Steele, gigantic portion sizes, the three-martini lunch, second favourite teams and MCG Magpie flash mobs.
052 - Heath Shaw
Heath Shaw is the only member of the Collingwood Rat Pack to reach 300 AFL games. We chat with Heater about the secret to his longevity, playing in front of the Magpie Army, what he’d call his autobiography, his bitter exit from the Pies and the team sacrifice that led to the ultimate glory.
051 - Fear the Reaper
Gerard and the Collingwood Grim Reaper, the Jolimont groove, Beau "The Claw" McCreery, the rising trend of unofficial suburban player meet and greets, and more last minute heroics from Jamie Elliott and the procrastinating Pies.
050 - Back on Broadway
For our 50th episode, we bookend a truly memorable win against the trash talking Demons, record raw from the streets of Collingwood as we walk to the game, discuss what makes the ultimate footy pub and explore the club’s dark history of hotel ownership, plus contract trigger clauses, free agency bites, Grundy’s sacrifice, and we review the Magpies' 11th win in a row
049 - Contact High
'That' Jamie Oliver Elliott Goal, mid season draft party crashers, Lethal’s sleepless night, Daicosian calendar re-re-visited, breakaway rebel leagues and our selection and finals crystal ball
048 - Condiment Chaos
Collingwood hypnosis, Daicos in Hollywood, condiment chaos in Adelaide, anti-germ sponsored content, Leon, salacious trade rumour mongering and Scott Pendlebury call signs
047 - Razzle Dazzle
We roll out the Robbie Williams red carpet, celebrate another Magpie renaissance, discuss Saverio's Hall of Fame snub, Taylor's new look, McStay's underwhelming Wikipedia page, Fly's family vibes, post-injury body language, plus introducing 'Shawry' the play, and your dream Magpie musicals.
046 - McRae’s Mount Rushmore
McRae’s Mount Rushmore, one way crowds, heightened expectations, Browne comedy, Collingwood themed sandwiches, Maxy moves on, Tony wins a Logie, Coolangatta Gold, plus your ultimate interstate footy trips
045 - Daicos Magic
In another quiet week for Collingwood, we chat mid-season breakage, trending Magpies, awkward video apologies, De Goey solutions, spontaneous Bruzzy love and we revisit the seminal 1991 VHS classic, Daicos Magic.
044 - Caviar Bumps
A Queen’s Birthday masterpiece, the prophecy of sexy pies, free agency porn, a Daicosian calendar bombshell, the Masonaissance, Caviar bumps with the President, 150th birthday player unveilings and we imagine what a Magpie metaverse might look like.
043 - Punch On
042 - Brush Strokes
A Magpie Masterpiece in three parts, Jarrod Wade and the unexpected injury boon, drinking Penfolds Grange at the football, mid season draft musing, is Dekka’s time up?, and we go undercover inside the Collingwood President’s Club.
041 - Stimulus Pies
A noble effort, player’s signing stuff, chicken wing etymology, meat pie cannons, the gift that keeps on Ginnivan, Magpies on the punt, ‘that’ Saverio Rocca hit, Roughhead’s Coogi moment and we solve the AFL’s attendance problem.
040 - James Clement
James Clement is a CEO, Director and former Collingwood champion currently living in Perth. He’s remembered for his versatility as a defender, being able to play on small and tall forwards and being exceptional one-on-one with superb rebound line-breaking abilities. In 2021, the AFL ranked Clement as Collingwood’s best defender of the 21st century. He possesses a high football intellect but rarely gives interviews. In a Pie Hard exclusive, we chat about his low key retirement from the Pies and why he wouldn’t change a thing, his move from Fremantle to Collingwood and the pitch from Mick Malthouse that won him over, his early memories of living in Melbourne and stepping inside Victoria Park for the first time, Collingwood’s much-loved ‘foreign legion of misfits’, which teammate was affectionately named after a volleyball, recasting himself as an All-Australian running rebound defender, the James Hird push in the back fiasco, his thoughts on former protege Héritier Lumumba and the player he would hand his number 8 jumper to, the cultural challenges faced by old institutions, and his high-flying career post football.
039 - Elixir of Youth
Prince Ginnivan and the elixir of youth, old man Leigh, Dead Poets Society feat. Fly McRae, Vintage Pendles, Grundy vs Bucks, Cox vs Cameron, Cloke talk, and your all time favourite Magpie haircuts.
038 - Standing Room Only
Standing room only, Anzac '95 and who Bucks should've kicked it to, Mark McGough's MCG commute, Master Splinter returns, your favourite Malthouse memories, which eye catching Magpie will turn it on this Anzac Day and more
037 - Villains and Heroes
We uncover Collingwood’s musical connection, Slash guitar solos, Villainous Selwood, Fly’s stock pot, Horizontal Tay Tay, Magpie ankle trackers, Darcy felafel royalty and we preview the team's much anticipated return to the Dome.
036 - Banner Illuminati
We delve into the Krooooooooger chant, knob fiddling coaches, Da Vinci code banners, Ginnivan's Boris Johnson energy, the mic'd up Swede, full frontal pies and your weirdest footballer encounters.