Planet Birth
By Jay, Ethan, & Tyler
Planet BirthFeb 03, 2021
Planet Birth #6 - Big Dick Super Magic
*kerchoo* ... That was the sound of us hypnotizing you with our magic ear lobes. Yeah. That's right. Magic motherfuckin' ear lobes, bitch. Can you believe that? George R.R. Martin could never. That's why we explicitly redacted all floppy wieners from our universe. Except one: THE ONE DICK TO RULE THEM ALL! Wanna know who's got that precious pp? Looks like you're gonna have to listen to find out...
Planet Birth #5 - Sex Attics and the Penal System
'Sup shawty. In this eppy, we submerge ourselves into the intriguing world of fluid dynamics. Ooooh. Ahhhh. If that doesn't immediately demand your full attention and eternal devotion, then perhaps us toying with the notion of Ethan's celibacy will. Beyond that we dip into lakes of acid, horizontal rain, dry water, wet Jesus, Gaymerfuel, naval vessels, static meteorology, and pet birth control. So buckle up! Cause this one's a doozy...
Planet Birth #4 - The Blacker the Berry, the Sweeter the Jews
Planet Birth #3 - Tentacle Evangelist
2 Things. First of all, none of us can orgasm. It's just not in the budget. Secondly, some of us REALLY want there to be tentacles at the center of the universe.
Strap in, folks. As always- we are your hosts, and we are just so sorry about all this. It's really our bad.
Planet Birth #2: 100 Gequines, C'eint Glizzy, & Crown Moulding
So congress passed a piracy bill and our egos are big enough that we think they'll really care about our use of unlicensed music during the intro of our VERY POPULAR VERY COOL podcast. So we did an acapella this time. Sorry. Also, we found the phrase "Crown Moulding" extremely funny. No, we are not ok.
Planet Birth #1 - Topgolf at the Center of the Universe
Last episode we tried out a new format, kinda liked it, and decided to keep it. But our old name "Hear Me Out" doesn't quite explain what that new format is. Sooo we're changing it. We are tentatively "Planet Birth" from now on!
A quick synopsis of what Planet Birth is/will be about: the 3 of us are building a universe! We'll be inventing and creating everything from the ground up, so nothing is off the table. This first episode lays the foundation of what the universe looks like, how it was created, and early civilization. Once we get the foundation settled, we'll start defining the society and culture of this new world. We are still primarily a jokes podcast, so it will still be funny, don't worry! Thanks for sticking with us through this long hiatus and now a change in format/name.
HMO.Gov #1 - SWEAR ON A TEEN VOGUE
It's finally here. The first episode in our long-awaited, critically acclaimed, hater-feared, fan-favorite new name and format. We've got 3 episodes in the bag right now, and dambi if they aren't some of the funniest things the 3 of us have said in a group together (besides that one time Jay's milkshake fell on the floor but that's another story). This episode, we litigate and fully solve the legal status of Dating but Not Married, & also discover why Buying The Cow is even more advisable in 2020. Shoutout @teenvogue Enjoy.
HMO 9 (Pt. 1): Didney World
Short Stack 3: YEP.
We talk about Spiderman, his phone autorotate situation, the sex appeal of different Spiderman versions, Hollywood's obsession with shooting doors to either open or lock them (whichever is convenient for the protagonist), Star Wars Physics & battle tactics. We might be taking ourselves a bit too seriously this episode, but hey - that's life.
HMO 8: The Doritos Locos Pancake (Ft. Jack P.)
Short Stack 2: Toe Positive!
Is stubbing your toe . . . equivalent to BDSM for people with foot fetishes? Did Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) & Black Widow (Scarlett Johanssen) actually have sex in the MCU? These and other BURNING questions are answered in this week's Hear Me Out Eppy. Enjoy! (that's an order).
Short Stack 1: Bits from the Brevity Briefcase
The boys are back- way earlier than usual- with more of that sweet content for the many, many fans we definitely for sure have. This one's a bit experimental! It's shorter than normal and not as structured. We don't have specific topics for these, whatever comes up comes up! We wanted to get you guys more episodes more frequently, so we're planning to put out a full-length episode every other week, and a Short Stack in the off weeks. Please let us know what you think of the new style, sit back, & enjoy this warm, fluffy short stack!
HMO 7: Monkeys . . . Of the Arctic Variety
Strap in folks because this one is a doozy! In this episode, we discuss the meaning of sentience, penis music, animal economies, penguin unions, iNcEst, & cargo shorts. Also, we answer the age-old question . . . what's thicker than water???
HMO 6: Christianaldo Ronaldo's School for Drama & Soccer
Hear Me Out! class is in session, and much as this show doesn't have rails to begin with . . . we're thoroughly off them this week. There are too many talking points to list here so um enter at your own risk!
HMO 5: For the Mamas! (Feat. Jack P.)
"Hey love. So I see the next episode is out of your podcast. Is there less profanity? My sweet spirit wants to know before I open the package."
That episode was not, in fact, less profane.
This is a clean (for the most part) episode to make up for it.
For all the mamas out there- Sit back and enjoy the show.
HMO 4: A Post-hensile Wasteland (Feat. Dallas R.)
The Bois are back in the studio, and you already know we're up to our old tricks. We've still gotta adapt and evolve(TM), though- so we brought a guest with us for this one! A quick rundown of the episode: Tyler enjoyed a banana, Ethan went full VSCO girl and appreciated some Modern Art, Jay almost had to duel Obama, and Dallas threw her ice cream away. For the full scoop, you'll have to listen!
Music: Duo Mobile by Two Factor Authentication. https://open.spotify.com/track/75UTNjADtNxWwH4iW0kFj5?si=vLX_371qR5ywIlFel6JkkA
Email: hmo.cast@gmail.com
HMO 3: Compulsory Bird Murder
Welp. We're back from hiatus with another hour of . . . something for you all. Ethan's got a bloodlust now, so that's cool. Tyler's working out bean ordering logistics with Publix, & Jay remembered School House Rock!
HMO 2: Introverted Snakes
Hey! We've got an intro now! (Duo by Two Factor Authentication)
Talking points for this one include . . .
Roach paths in my kitchen, Cold brew oatmeal, & Qui Gon Jin's off-center moral compass
HMO 1: Beef Slabs & Peach Cobbler
Hear Me Out! (Yes we needed the exclamation point, how else can we communicate our unbridled enthusiasm?) is a show where 3 friends (Tyler Brazleton, Jay Burnett, & Ethan Powell) seek out opinions that are unpopular and/or niche, and then (somewhat) rationally discuss the merits of these opinions. This weeks highlights include "Beef Slabs", "Phineas and Candace's family tree (Spoilers: Perry the Platypus is on there somewhere)", & "Ethan could reeeeaaaaally go for a cobbler right about now".
This is our first episode, so things might be a bit shaky. Thank you for listening, we really appreciate your support and we'd love to hear any suggestions you all may have! Also, if you know of any unpopular/niche opinions, let us know!