Pop Parenting

S2 Ep15: In this episode Avrum and Ellie talk about the movie Charlie and The Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp. This movie is a feast for themes on parenting, but we focus on fault. Is it totally the parents fault when kids behave badly? How much are parents really to blame for how their kids turn out?

PLEASE NOTE! We are about to change the focus of this podcast! Don't worry, a big announcement next episode plus a lookback at our favourites, and we can't wait to lauch the new season with you all in the next few weeks! We think you are going to love it.

In this episode Avrum and Ellie talk about the movie Little Miss Sunshine and the idea of what happens when fantasy is the only coping mechanism in a family, and how if even one person decides to get real and grow up, that can help change an entire system, be it a family, community or nation.

S2 Ep13: This episode Avrum and Ellie watched Igby Goes Down, a dark, tragic movie that explores the tangled web of family secrets, and how they can both protect and destroy a family from the inside. Aside from Ellie’s deep dislike of the characters, we are looking at themes around marital infidelity, being on the inside of a secret and how to recover and free yourself from secrets are part of this discussion.

This week Avrum and Ellie are digging into The Family Stone. An annoying film with a ton of great themes about family dynamics, they are kibbitzing about displacement, being in reality, family secrets, and allowing for small moments of grief and change.

S2 Ep11: This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie Something’s Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton. This film brings up issues around chronically anxious families and the deep roots of non-connection, and the crucible of commitment. We delve into actors playing roles that reflect their lives, and how physical pain can express emotional injury.

S2 Ep10: This 2009 movie starring George Clooney and Anna Kendrick is a meditation and exploration of who we are and what we do. In this episode Avrum and Ellie explore the idea of "functional self" vs "core self" and whether our life covenants and laws have been updated to fit with our current circumstances, and how that affects our parenting and families. 

S2 Ep9: Sofia Coppola's movie Lost In Translation is filled with the coolest soundtrack, a stellar cast (Bill Murray is incredible as always) and the moody questioning of life that moves us all into a new frame of mind. This movie propels Avrum and Ellie to ask about whether kids really are affected by the absence of a parent, whether teens are really suffering during this pandemic to the degree we think they are, and is Charlotte (played by Scarlett Johansson) really the catalyst of her own loneliness? 

S2 Ep8: Almost Famous is now 20 years old and being celebrated again as one of director Cameron Crowes best films of all time. Sweet, deep, real and lovely, this film is a favourite of music lovers and rock gods. Avrum and Ellie dive into discussions around who we really think we are versus who we are, the importance of right distance as parents to get good feedback and how music can really give us a new experience of life and ourselves.

Winter's Bone is a sparse haunting film starring Jennifer Lawrence and Avrum and Ellie take a journey through this moving film and discuss dealing with the harsh realities of life, the essential power of family and when is "toxic" really toxic? 

S2 Ep6: The 2006 Mira Nair film The Namesake is a beautiful film about love, marriage, families and creating your life. Avrum and Ellie use this film to delve into parents hopes for their kids, raising teens and the implications of deep cultural ties to a modern life. 

Ellie was forced to watch Napoleon Dynamite this week, but ended up really digging what there is to learn from it about friendship, differentiation of self and how longing for the past can make a mess of your present. Avrum feels vindicated.

S2 Ep 5: This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie Mean Girls. The 2004 cult classic is a hilarious look at teens, queen bees and how to topple the popularity system. This movie gets us talking about what we focus on and value in our families, and how that impacts the next generation, and how mothers and teen daughters can be a complicated system unto themselves.

The Royal Tenenbaums is one of our favourites so far, so many juicy family dynamics, but we are focusing on the emotional shockwave when Chaz, played by Ben Stiller, loses his wife to a tragic accident, and how he copes or doesn't, and how we are all looking for ways to manage sudden change and Avrum and Ellie point to some powerful ideas to help us go forward. 

This week Avrum and Ellie are exploring the movie High Fidelity. A musical masterpiece and superfun trip through relationship dissection and the realization that getting the love you want won't come from other people. 

S2 Ep2: This week Avrum and Ellie are diving into the Oscar winning movie Gladiator. Rife with family dysfunction, the tragedy of Commodus the Emperor and Maximus the Gladiator leads us down a path to be able to discuss fathers and son, how birth order, and family history can conspire to put so much pressure on a child that they break, and how we could do 3 more episodes on this movie alone...but we won't. 

Contact is a movie that asks big questions. This week Avrum and Ellie are using it to explore how anxious societies deal with uncertainty, and how that plays out in families, and how our experience with our own parents influences our present relationships. 

Ep 29: The Outsiders was a Coppola film based on the book by S.E. Hinton and stacked with a breakout cast. The story of PonyBoy, Soda Pop and Darry is a class warfare drama that looks into sensitive characters and their losses. In this film Avrum and Ellie explore trauma and parenting, what happens when there are surrogate caregivers, and how families can easily buckle under pressure when they don’t have enough support or care.

Tim Burton’s Edward Scissorhands is a surreal adventure and love story that Avrum and Ellie use as a springboard for conversations this week about what to do when parents make mistakes, high expectations and saviour complexes and how we tend to look for ways to deflect responsibility in relationships when we don’t know what to do. Please subscribe if you like our podcast!!!

S1 Ep 27: Heathers… Do we really need to say more? Dark, sassy and a brutal look at class and caste warfare in high school. In this episode we are digging into how kids need to be seen, heard and understood, but we can’t do that as parents if we are freaking out, and asking the question what does it mean to be in control of ourselves and the difference between being able and not being able to be in choice.

This week we watched the Jewish classic Crossing Delancey… Izzy and the Pickle Man and her lovely Bubbie in NYC of the early 80s… a charming love story that poses questions about old world vs new, how to choose the “right” partner and whether to listen to wisdom or push for progress.. Also, this week we had some tech issues, so we leave you on a cliffhanger, but we want to know your answer to our question! Send us what you think at ellie@myjfi.com 

This week on Pop Parenting : This week Avrum and Ellie watched the classic Beetlejuice, this movie with a stellar cast was one of Tim Burton’s first breakout hits and is lovely, weird and lovable. Avrum goes super-clinical on us with quotes from Bowen and we dig into how when a kid is symptomatic, the illness is in the family...Here we go...

As Good As it Gets with Jack Nicolson is a wild ride of anxiety, empathy and OCD. This week Avrum and Ellie use this film to explore relationships being a “people growing machine” and how we try to fix everyone else when we don’t want to fix ourselves. Here we go...

S1 Ep23 - This week we are watching St Elmos Fire and wondering where all of those iconic characters end up. Its a movie that’s hard to watch through the lens of today, but it brings up some fascinating questions about launching our kids into adult life.

This week on Pop Parenting : Wall Street with Charlie Sheen and Michael Douglas was an 80s staple and a raw look at the new money culture of that time. In this episode Avrum and Ellie are exploring themes how kids not feeling seen or heard at home will seek out surrogate parents, we are debating whether the character of “Gordon Gekko” is emotionally mature or not, and discussing when it’s a parents responsibility to launch their kids into the world beyond them. 

S1 Ep 21: Avrum and Ellie open with a discussion about Bell Let’s Talk day, mental heath and wellness and how to understand this from a more holistic viewpoint. We also get into My Cousin Vinny with Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei, and delve into a fused family dynamic where no one knows who they are, and ask the question should the person who cares the most really be the one to solve a problem?

S1 Ep 20: Mermaids with Cher and Winona Ryder was a huge hit when it came out. This week Avrum and Ellie are taking a look at this film and discussing free wheeling parents and the fallout for kids, the roles of men and women today, and what the role of a parent after divorce is when their ex is talked about in the home.

This week on Pop Parenting : The Karate Kid is seeing another heyday with the release of Cobra Kai on Netflix. This week Avrum and Ellie discuss this 80s classic and touch on themes of meditation, wise elders, being present and giving space and where should the locus of power be in a family… also, check out Avrum’s new email newsletter for extra ideas and insights on each of the films we have looked at.

This week on Pop Parenting : Back to John Hughes. 16 Candles was the first John Hughes break out hit. Avrum and Ellie are looking at emotional immaturity in grandparents and parents, how cluster events and nodal events bring out the worst, and sometime the best in people, and we agree that Anthony Michael Hall is totally amazing in this film. 

This week on Pop Parenting Avrum and Ellie watched and are now discussing the Kevin Costner movie Field of Dreams. We are using it to explore ideas around making amends after someone has passed away, parenting in 2021, the beauty of a flexible supportive marriage and how to make progress in a dysfunctional family system. Next week: 16 Candles

This week on Pop Parenting we are looking at the 1988 hit movie Rainman. This movie leads us to tracking the growth of the main character Charlie Babbitt, played by Tom Cruise, and how in order to actually grow up and get a life, Charlie has to drop his guard, get vulnerable and understand what it means to be part of a family. We look at emotional cutoff, the quieter twin to physical cut off, and we decide on a movie for the next episode so you can all watch it before we record! Check out Field of Dreams next week.

This week on Pop Parenting Ellie and Avrum are looking at the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin. We are seeing 3 generations of anxiety and coping systems in this movie, and we are speaking about siblings, stress, fathers and sons and how our unfinished business starts family fires. We also delve into the prevalence of anxious therapists, and Avrum’s deep love of Oreos.

This week on Pop Parenting we checked out the cult favourite “The Lost Boys”. A beloved, kitschy and weird ode to the 80s vampire obsession. Avrum and Ellie are exploring the themes of “chosen families”, dealing with loss, and feeling lost, and wondering why during this era vampires were such a thing. Here we go.

This week on Pop Parenting The 5 Books of the Breakfast Club ends with the last character we see raising his arm in triumph… “Bender” played by Judd Hersh is the rebel without a pause, he’s rude, loud, complicated and clearly hurting. In this episode Avrum and Ellie are talking about generational anger and domestic violence, how to break a pattern, and was Bender’s blond joke ever finished?

This week on Pop Parenting we are on the 4th of the 5 teen characters in the breakfast club. "Brian" played by Anthony Michael Hall is the quintessential “nerd”...gets good grades and does what his parents tell him, but brings a gun to school. We are delving into searching for simple solutions when faced with complex problems, as well as are we asking right questions as parents and partners in our lives? 

Trigger warning, we do briefly address the topic of suicide.

This week on Pop Parenting - The 5 Books of the Breakfast Club continues with Ally Sheedy’s character Allison who is “ignored”. Avrum asks if we can really trust only the viewpoint of a child in working out solutions, and Ellie asks if it actually might be a good thing to ignore your kids. We also delve into remembering our parents were also people and how we see “parenting” as a verb rather than a noun. 

This week on Pop Parenting we come back to The Breakfast Club and look at the character played by Emilio Estevez “Andrew” the jock/star athlete who is in detention for torturing another kid and under pressure from his father to be the best. Avrum and Ellie use his story to talk about Fathers and Sons, Unrealized hopes and dreams that parents put on their children, second marriages, definition of success and the importance of taking personal responsibility for all of your relationships good and bad, and how to know if what you are doing is parenting or just putting your anxiety onto your kids, family or relationships.

In this episode of Pop Parenting we are talking about the movie “Some Kind of Wonderful” by John Hughes, Avrum pushes the conversation into religion and freedom, we talk about The Maiden King and spiritual awakenings, parents who live vicariously through their kids, our present day emotional immaturity and its effect on societal regression, how to have a healthy family fight and Ellie’s teenage wallpaper.

This episode of Pop Parenting, Avrum and Ellie are geeking out on one of the canon movies from the 80’s “Pretty in Pink”. What do our parents teach us about love through osmosis and how do we pass this on to our kids? What do we do when we have to parent our parents?