The Phillip Carter Show
By RealPhillipCarter
The goal? To make you laugh, and hopefully to teach you something new and weird along the way.
The Phillip Carter ShowOct 03, 2021
Why I left the poetry circuit
You can vote on the name of the new poetry book with this link
https://realphillipcarter.substack.com/p/you-can-name-my-upcoming-comedy-book
SciFi battle - Phillip VS Nicola Rossi
Nicola Rossi is a human I found on the internet. Her latest novel, Rockaway, is the third book in her chillingly plausible dystopian series, Rockstar Ending, which is in development for television.
Two time travellers arguing.
You can read this post by clicking here.
A poem for the Sycamore Gap tree
A comedy poem. You can find more at realphillipcarter on instagram and tiktok
S2E4, Self-pub or Trad-pub? What's best for you?
Some fun insights into traditional publishing along with an extended rant about how many mistakes I made when publishing Who Built The Humans?.
S2 E4: with guest AARON FRALE - Comedy author, sciptwriter, actor, and more.
Aaron is one of my favourite people. We meet up once a week on discord to write comedy together in our comedians group, and he is always very supportive and kind to the younger, less experienced writers.
You can see all of Aaron's books here > https://amzn.to/3H053Mj (full disclosure, I'm an Amazon Affiliate thanks to my time as a Lego microcelebrity, so if you buy his books through there, we both make money. It doesn't cost you anything extra, and it doesn't cost Aaron any revenue either! This is my non-intrusive way of funding this show so one day, I can record an episode live at ComicCon!)
S2E3: Mushroom Monsters, Comedy Creators, and a third alliterative announcement.
You can read the whole mycelial story here > https://realphillipcarter.substack.com/p/mycelial-aprils-free-short-story
S2 E2: On performing, my new life as an open mic host, and general tomfoolery
I'm excited to get guests in the studio again after a break of a few months, but what have I been doing in the meantime?
Well, I hosted a few open mics, realised I've secretly been a comedian this whole time, and I tidied my room.
I was recently interviewed by James Flynn. You can read about it here.
Episode 1 (of the new weekly format) Robots vs Literature
The first episode of the new format, THE PHILLIP CARTER SHOW is now a weekly show with sporadic appearances from guests in the art, writing, comedy, and science worlds.
Know someone who might be interested? Get in touch, or read some free short stories and comedy on my substack https://realphillipcarter.substack.com/
And check out this link for the top 100 SCIENCE FICTION books on Amazon >>> Top Science Fiction (If you do your shopping through this link, everything costs the same as usual, but I get an amazon affiliate commission, because I'm a book influencer now!)
Finger breaking chess robots, or 'What I did in November'
A big list of all the cool stuff I got up to.
Short Time Travel comedy - TARDIGRADE
TARDIGRADE - A comedic time travel short
Read the story here
https://realphillipcarter.substack.com/p/tardigrade-a-free-time-travel-story
Introducing my newsletter and talking briefly of many things
I have realised that I can directly record audio to substack, which is nice, but doesn't allow for the same range that ANCHOR does
I also have a radio job now so would like to put some episodes here from the backlog
Poem - PRINT
A poem called PRINT from way back in 2016. Very much not my present style!
My return - serious Poem
I quite like that I now have to add a SERIOUS tag to my poetry, as I am becoming increasingly known for the silly stuff.
It's nice being both. Doesn't make it easy to market, but it does make life more fun.
Anyway, I am launching a time travel trilogy on Kickstarter. You should check it out
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/realphillipcarter/earthloop-trilogy
Ten deliriously dark minutes of existential crises
In which I think about marketing, erections, and gravy and chips
poem - blood cell
you can get the book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09BP589NZ
Scifi Comedy story - FTL
A short story from my upcoming book HOLOGRAM KEBAB
Free poems and an update
Hello. Thanks for all the support. You are cool
TOYS - a comedy poem about sex toys
Just a quick one. Hope you enjoy it!
Poem - Geodesic 2
My first attempt at blending music with poetry, or at least, the first one I can properly remember.
TWO POEMS - Anachronangst / Wave Function Collapse
Two poems, zero sales pitches. There's not even a website link in this one.
Some big news
In which I go to ComicCon, nearly get to America for a big book tour, find the meaning of life, kill god, and write a new trilogy of books.
Poetry collections and WBTH2 also included... I've been busy
2/25/2022 Thoughts on Empathy / News
My thoughts on empathy, and how we might train it with logic and reason to be a more efficient tool for solving the world's ills.
Episode 5 - scifi comedy story - Kebab
In which a young woman discovers something disturbing about her soon-to-be ex boyfriend.
With a sci-fi twist!
For my substack blog (for free stories forever) CLICK HERE
(my first book Who Built The Humans? is now reduced to £1.99, just click here to get it)
EP4 - BOOT, a short story
An old story from a new collection, HOLOGRAM KEBAB.
It's a weird little book with weird little stories.
Friday 21st January
Ep 3.5 ( David Bowie philosophy broadcast, for ALLfm Manchester)
I have started 2022 with an amazing opportunity. I was invited by Ruth from ALLfm to materialize on the 9th Jan in her studio at ALLfm, to talk about David Bowie.
If you didn't know, I'm a huge fan of Bowie. I'm actually working towards making a separate thing dedicated to him.
The 9th of January is a symbolic day, his birthday was the 8th and the anniversary of his death is the 10th. So it's freaky. I am occupying a freaky slot of spacetime.
Please leave me an audio message, which I might include in the podcast.
https://anchor.fm/paisleyprintauthor/message
Ep3 - With JO THE LION. Where is Bowie's secret autobiography?
In this special, hour-long episode, I talk to Jo The Lion about her writing, David Bowie fanfiction, and if skin walkers stole David's autobiography and if we might be able to get it back from Area51.
We recorded audio and video for this one, and you can watch the video >>> here <<<
This episode is for Friday the 7th January, but as the video is already out, I thought I'd release this a bit early.
Episode 2 - two short stories and an existential crisis.
In which I reveal the title of my next book, Hologram Kebab, and read you two stories from it!
Here's my gofundme for the WBTH audiobook >>> https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-this-time-traveler-become-his-true-self
Episode 1 - In which I am reincarnated as a fictional space explorer
The first episode of the rebrand, in which my secret plans for world domination are laid bare for you to gawp at.
My medium blog (same as substack, just less content, only the journalistic, click-baity stuff)
FALSE VACUUM intro + poems
Some poems from my upcoming book FALSE VACUUM
Geodesic - Poetry
Some fun poems.
Pre-order the book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09BP589NZ
Massive scifi poetry podcast
A huge episode where I read 6 whole poems, and edit some and do a bit of improv
Incoherent rambling about my life, interviews, and who my audience seems to be?
No idea to be honest.
Who Built The Humans has gone down in price though, check it out <<<
Blooper. Mum distracts me by attacking crisps with mallet.
Not much else goes on
Blood Cell - Poem ( + bonus rant about art )
You can find me on instagram as Paisleyprintauthor
Poem - Leaving
A poem about leaving someone, filled with cosmic metaphor, as you would expect.
Fragment - Poem
A little poem, you can pre-order its collection here
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Phillip-Carter/e/B095JQRVN5
On Vanity - An entire story from WHO BUILT THE HUMANS?
This is part of the ON SERIES, a mini collection of 15 poetic stories inside WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? my book of 47 short stories
POEM - Appendectomy
My thoughts on leaving university and the fragile "network" I had developed during it. Naturally mixed in with some wordplay and a bit of light fiction, as is my style.
Universal slam poem (explicit)
It has swears. All the best poems have swears.
My brilliant novel
In which I tell you about how my novel is better than yours.
POEM - The sad and lonely spoken word "feminist"
This was written with two particular narcissists in mind, both of whom are too thick to read this caption so I can say what I want about them here
YOU SMELL LIKE WET EGGS
Rapa Nui/The crystal rebellion
Soon to be featured on a proper radio channel, these are the extracts I think are most suited to daytime listening (no aliens with rude names)
Even more space in storytelling
In which I go on an extended rant about the "economy of storytelling" and how it's probably nonsense.
Lecture 2 - Space in storytelling (draft post)
This is a test of my material on space in storytelling
I am still working on the audio. My mic is affixed to the same desk my laptop is on, so I am thinking of solutions to cushion the arm and also raise the laptop in a way that makes it quieter. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
The Stephanie Glitch - Chapter 1 part 1
Read the novel in text form HERE
My recently published book, WHO BUILT THE HUMANS?
At some point in 2015 I decided to stop offending people at poetry evenings and write a deep, mindbending YA book with a sarcastic protagonist who (spoiler alert) literally punches God at one point and then disproves her own existence.
I realised during my Masters degree that the idea for the novel THE STEPHANIE GLITCH was far more advanced than what I perceived to be the upper limits of my writing skills. So I took a break, got back into offending people at poetry evenings and decided to write WHO BUILT THE HUMANS? which is out now. Oddly, Stephanie appears in it several times, but only once explicitly. Whilst both books function very well on their own, there are poetic links between them. Stephanie, for example, at some point meets a creator of worlds, and that same idea is attacked in satire form in WBTH.
Who Built The Humans? - Behind the scenes
11 minutes of your favourite unknown sci-fi author rambling about how he wrote that easy-to-read book that's actually quite complicated under the hood. I will go a bit into my writing philosophy, a bit into how the 47 stories interact with each other, how there are 11 universes they fit into, that sort of thing. Good for writers wanting to learn how to make a book. Whilst my experience is specific to me, it may help to know that you need a philosophy. That is, your universes needs physical laws. It needs to have consistency within itself, otherwise you will lose your way, as will the reader. Even nonsense stories have a structure (to talk nonsense). This is a prequel to Halfplanet Classroom.
WBTH poem - On Meaninglessness
A part of my 15 performance poem pieces that kick the piss out of every concept you have ever loved.
#scifi #poem #poetry #sciencefiction #comedy #standup
Who Built The Humans? - Excerpt 2 - From the stars, a million voices.
William Bines learns that his superior, Clyde Waller, knows more about his missing sister than he had first admitted.