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Regulated & Relational

Regulated & Relational

By Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc.
Join Julie Beem & Ginger Healy as we explore the trauma-informed, attachment-focused concepts of Regulation (self-regulation/co-regulation) and Relationship (building connection) and how we can help children build resilience and emotional health through the ways in which we parent, teach and care for children. This podcast is produced by the Attachment & Trauma Network, or ATN, a leading national non-profit supporting children impacted by trauma through their families, schools and communities.
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Ep 3: Why Relational?

Regulated & Relational

Ep 31 - School Resource Officer & Trauma-Informed School Safety, talking with Becky Haas
Today Julie and Ginger welcome Becky Haas into the studio. Becky’s background is in working with Resource Officers in schools by training them to become trauma informed. Her training has become a model for cities nationwide. Through her position as the Director of the Crime Prevention Program in Tennessee, she saw a reduction in drug related crime by 40% in one neighborhood. That is huge! Trauma informed approaches are often not taught to officers despite their close presence with students. Becky believes that police officers want to do a great job, they just need training on the impact of trauma. She also believes that getting representatives from the community to come together with a common focus is vital.  Becky says, “Crime prevention can’t only involve police. This is community work!” To learn more about Becky Haas and her work, go to Her site is rich with information. You can also reach out directly to her from her web page. Join us for largest gathering of trauma sensitive educators at our upcoming Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference in February 2023. Registration is now open at
August 16, 2022
Ep 30: Advocating against Restraint & Seclusion - a conversation with Guy Stephens
Julie and Ginger welcome ATN friend Guy Stephens into the studio.  Guy is a lifelong Marylander, a father, a husband and a child advocate.  He began by advocating for appropriate accommodations and supports for his neurodivergent son, which led him to found the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint. He is working to change policy and practices around the use of seclusion and restraint at the local, state, and federal levels. Guy says, “The biggest thing you have to change is the culture. You have to get buy-in from superintendents, school administrators, and others.” We do have a lot of paradigm shifting to do. The website for the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint is The organization also has a presence on FaceBook, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.  You can email Guy directly at Join us on Friday, October 14 for Compliance to Compassion, a virtual learning event for teachers, paraprofessionals and all educators needing support and ideas in these challenging times. Click to register:
August 02, 2022
Ep. 29: Boundaries
In this episode, Julie and Ginger are discussing boundaries.  They got a lot of insight from Brene Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart. ATN’s Team R&R, an online community for educators, did a weekly dive into this great book. The recordings of the book study are available to Team R&R members. Why is it so hard to set boundaries? Why is it the most hard for the givers? Why are boundaries so important? Brene says, “Boundaries are a prerequisite for compassion and empathy. You can’t connect with someone unless you are clear on where you end and where they begin.” Boundaries make us more authentic and build trust.  These are traits that are vital to us all. Listen in and learn a new way of thinking about boundary setting. To order your copy of Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, visit ATN’s bookstore at Here you will find the largest collection of trauma focused books. To learn more about Team R&R, go to  Click Join Team R&R to gain access to a library of Trauma Sensitive School resources.
July 19, 2022
Ep 28: The Challenges of Using Praise
Today Julie and Ginger talk about praise and how to use it effectively in the home and in the classroom.  They also discuss some of the challenges of praise, especially with children from a history of trauma. Why do our children often reject praise? How does encouragement differ from praise?  What are some techniques you can use?  First and foremost, praise MUST be sincere and sometimes you must approach praise from a counter intuitive lens.  Our hosts share some ideas of how to do this, specifically by using drive by praising and indirect praising. Listen in for examples. Visit ATN’s on-line store and view our Connected Messages Post It Notes at  These notes pack a powerful punch. And … Be sure to leave us feedback because we can always use a little praise (or constructive feedback)  ourselves!
July 05, 2022
Ep 27: Disappointment and Expectations
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about their latest book study, Atlas of the Heart, by Brene Brown.  ATN’s Team R&R, an online community for educators, is doing a weekly dive into this great book. One part of this book really stood out to Julie and Ginger, the chapter on Disappointment, Unmet Expectations and Regret.  They said that we all have movies running in our heads showing the outcomes we expect, however, since life doesn’t always play out as expected, that leads to disappointment.  Unexpressed expectations can lead to these disappointments.  Communication is one key to alleviate it. Ginger’s favorite quote in this chapter from Brene is, “There are too many people in the world today who decide to live disappointed, rather than risk the feeling of disappointment.” Wow.  What a quote that is! To order your copy of Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, visit ATN’s bookstore at Here you will find the largest collection of trauma focused books. To learn more about Team R&R, go to  Click Join Team R&R to gain access to a library of Trauma Sensitive School resources.
June 21, 2022
Ep 26: The Special Attachment Window of Young Adulthood: An Interview with Jack Hinman, Psy.D.
In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Jack Hinman into the studio.  Jack is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and he has been providing mental health services to individuals and families for over 20 years. Jack specializes in Attachment Theory and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). He focuses on helping young adults launch into adulthood through an attachment focused lens. Jack says that, “Connection is both the outcome and the intervention.” In mid-June, the Engage Transitions facility will be opening in Cedar City, Utah. This is a therapeutic community that gives young adults the confidence to safely explore their environment.  The goal is to have the young adults create their own social networks using Engage as their secure base. To learn more about Engage, go to You can also email Jack at  Jack proudly proclaims, “Attachment is my language.”
June 07, 2022
Ep 25: The Dangers of Social Media for our Teens- A Conversation with Jethro Jones
In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Jethro Jones into the studio to discuss social media and its impact on traumatized children.  Jethro is the 2017 NASSP Digital Principal of the Year. He is a former principal and host of Transformative Principal.  He is the founder of the Center for Cyber Ethics, an independent nonpartisan educational institute. He is an author of 2 books: SchoolX: How Principals Can Design a Transformative School Experience for Students, Teachers, Parents – And Themselves and How to be a Transformative Principal.  Additionally, he works as a consultant in school systems. Jethro says. “We can’t expect children to do things that they aren’t ready for” and social media is one of those things. Jethro lays out some strategies for parents and teachers on how to help children navigate the social media world. You can reach out directly to Jethro and order his books at
May 24, 2022
Ep 24: Using Stories to Heal: A Conversation with Jane Samuel
In this episode, Julie and Ginger have long-time ATN friend, Jane Samuel in the studio.  Jane is a marriage and family associate whose practice focuses on children and families with an attachment-focused lens. Many of her clients are foster and adoptive families.  In this episode, she talks about the value of narratives and storytelling. What exactly is a narrative?  How can this be used in healing? Storytelling is useful in all settings – by parents, by teachers, and by clinicians. Jane also suggests that caregivers use books to open up discussions of hard topics.  Jane has compiled a list of books that she recommends, organized by topics and feelings.  For a list of books that Jane recommends, go here: According to Dr. Curt Thompson, “We are the only mammals that narrate our lives.” What a gift we have!
May 10, 2022
Ep 23 Restorative (and Trauma-Informed) Practices in Schools: An Interview with Joe Brummer
In this episode, Ginger and Julie dive into Restorative Practices with Joe Brummer in the studio.  Joe is an expert in developing trauma-informed and restorative approaches in schools and organizations.  He is a consultant and author of the book, Building a Trauma-Informed Restorative School. This book can be ordered from ATN’s bookstore at Building a Trauma Informed Restorative School.  Joe is also a member of ATN’s PD Collaborative, a group of trauma-informed educational experts available to provide PD training, consultation and support to school districts and organizations embarking on becoming trauma-informed. Joe explains what Restorative Practices are and how these practices are implemented in schools. How do these practices differ from punitive practices and why do they work? Joe says, “The paradigm shift is the knowledge that the wrong-doing caused a break in relationships, not a break in rules.” To get more information, or reach out to Joe, go to For more information about ATN’s PD Collaborative, go here:
April 26, 2022
Ep 22 - The Balance of Structure and Nurture
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the delicate balance between structure and nurture. What are the differences in punishment, consequences, accountability, and discipline?  These terms are defined and discussed to determine what works best when doing trauma informed, therapeutic parenting and why. We should always seek to understand what is underneath the child’s behaviors, and we need to ask why they are acting the way that they do. As Julie said, “None of this is easy. It’s all about establishing a connection. This cannot be done without a relationship.” Check out the new book by Dr. Mona Delahooke, Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids. Dr. Delahooke says, “Human beings don’t develop new strengths without some level of stretching, but it must be individualized.” This book can be ordered from ATN's bookstore at Brain-Body Parenting. This episode is dedicated to the trail-blazing trauma-informed and attachment-focused work done by Larry Smith, LCSW. (1951-2016)
April 12, 2022
Ep 21: Building Resilience during Covid...A Reflection on What We've Learned
In this episode, Julie and Ginger reflect on what our lives have been like dealing with Covid and building resilience throughout the pandemic.  Ginger says that “It’s important to recognize that we can be both overwhelmed AND hopeful at the same time.” What is meant by holding space for others in a time of chaos? In her book, The Art of Holding Space, Heather Platt says that holding space means “being willing to walk alongside another person on whatever journey they are on.” Julie and Ginger also point out that it is vital to accept that the only way to handle this is to take care of ourselves. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we can’t hold space for others.  Everything is relational! And remember, even in a time of grief, don’t forget to play! Play is a gift! To purchase a copy of Heather Platt’s book, go to:
February 15, 2022
Ep 20: Reframing the Narrative with Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Jessica Sinarski.  She is a renowned mental health professional and author, having authored Riley the Brave, Riley the Brave Returns to School, and What’s Inside Your Backpack.  Jessica’s superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for both children and adults.  Jessica says that she loves to take “her brain nerdy self and marry it with what everyone needs to know about the brain and attachment and development”. In this podcast, Jessica explains exactly what she means by “Reframing the Narrative”.  Find her books in ATN’s bookstore here: ATN is thrilled to have Jessica presenting a pre-conference workshop at our upcoming 5th Annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference, February 20-25, 2022.  There's still time to register!  Learn more at
February 01, 2022
Ep 19: The Re-Set Process: An Interview with Dyane Carrere
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Dyane Carrere, educator, author, counselor, and staff developer.  Dyane specializes in supporting students on the fringes.  Her book, The Re-Set Process: Trauma Informed Behavior Strategies can be found here:  Dyane describes the four steps of the Re-Set Process and explains how these steps can proactively help all students, not just those that are dysregulated.  She discusses what behavior plans actually work and which ones are downright harmful.  Visit her web site at
January 18, 2022
Ep 18: Pushing Past Your Own Perspectives - Interview with Emily Meeks and Taneesha Thomas
In this episode, Julie and Ginger are joined by Taneesha Thomas and Emily Meeks of Focused Minds Education Group.  Not only are they trauma informed, but they dive into how to address the cultural biases that we all have. We know about the 4 Rs of education, but what are the 4 Rs of equitable instruction? They recognize that being trauma informed and acknowledging our own biases go hand in hand. We all need to realize the truth in what Emily says, “Choosing love is a real choice.” To learn more about Focused Mind Education Group and to order their latest book, go to
January 04, 2022
Ep 17: What is a Trauma-Informed School?
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Dr. Jenna Lichter, ATN’s Trauma-Sensitive Schools Coordinator. Listen in to learn more about trauma sensitive schools - what they are and what ATN does to support their creation. Dr. Lichter says, “It’s a culture shift. The school must realize the prevalence of trauma and its impact.  There needs to be a recognition of the signs of trauma and the schools must have trauma informed reactions and a resistance to re-traumatization."  For more information about ATN’s Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference happening in February 2022, visit our website at  If your school is looking for trauma-informed training or consultation, contact our PD Collaborative at  To reach Dr. Jenna Llichter, email her at Learn how to be a leader in this movement!
December 21, 2021
Ep 16: Living Expertly, Truth Telling and Joy Stalking: A Conversation with Cissy White
In this episode, Julie and Ginger chat with Cissy White.  Cissy is a self-proclaimed Joy Stalker and Truth Teller, and boy, is she ever!  Her passion is to make trauma informed changes for survivors of trauma who are parenting with ACEs. With Julie and Ginger, Cissy discusses her path to healing. She says, “Trauma informed change must be led by survivors” and ATN could not agree more!   In 2013, Cissy began her blog, Heal Write Now. You can read more at
December 07, 2021
Ep 15: Holiday Hang-Ups
In this episode Julie and Ginger acknowledge that the holidays are not always full of cheer for all families.  Children with traumatic experiences may not be able to embrace the joy of the season.  How can we manage? Julie and Ginger share tools that have worked for them, but Julie says, “Sometimes you just have to think outside of the box.” They reference Kathleen Benckendorf’s list of trauma-informed gift ideas. The list can be found here: Their best advice – Take care of yourself!  You must have something in your cup to be able to serve it up. If this podcast has helped you, please consider joining our Giving Tuesday campaign.  You can donate on Tuesday, November 30 or before/after.  Now more than ever, children, families, schools and communities need ATN.  Won’t you help us reach farther in 2022? --
November 23, 2021
Ep 14: Understanding Shame - Part 2
In this episode, Julie and Ginger revisit the concept of shame.  Shame is a dangerous tool that leads to maladaptive behaviors.  Ginger says that “Shame is much more likely to cause destructive behaviors than to cure them.”  They explore the differences between empathy and sympathy by using Brene Brown’s video found here:  If you want to learn more about how to become shame resistant and exercise self-compassion, visit Kristin Neff’s website at Don’t forget! Our 5th annual Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference is coming up in February! For more information about this conference go to:  Here you can learn more about the conference and register. We hope to see you there!
November 09, 2021
Ep 13: Understanding Shame- Part 1
In this episode, Julie and Ginger introduce the concept of shame.  According to Brene Brown, a world-renowned social worker with a focus on shame, shame is an “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.” What are the differences between shame, guilt, humiliation, and embarrassment and when are they harmful? Be sure to get your copy of Brene’s book, Daring Greatly, in ATN’s bookstore at ATN's Bookshop: Daring Greatly. Stick around and tune into Shame: Part 2 coming up next.
October 26, 2021
Ep 12: Exploring Burnout
In this episode Julie and Ginger discuss the New York Times bestselling book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. What is burnout?  How do you know when you are approaching burnout? Burnout is highly prevalent, and it needs to be talked about. They point out strategies to avoid burnout and relieve burnout. The authors, Emily and Amelia Nagoski, dedicated their book to all the givers, so if you are a giver, this podcast is for you!  To order your copy of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle go to: EXCITING NEWS!!!!!  Amelia Nagoski will be a keynote speaker at our 5th Annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference.  Her session is entitled:  "Burnout: What to do when you are overwhelmed and exhausted about everything you have to do and still worry that you aren’t doing enough."  She will be virtually presenting on Friday, February 24, 2022.  To learn more and to register, go to
October 12, 2021
Ep 11: How Big is Your Window?
In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk about the Window of Tolerance, specifically what level of stress can we tolerate and grow from and what we can do when we are outside those windows of tolerance? What are hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal states? Why is this important? Julie says, “Our healthy relationships play a major role in how wide our window can get.  To be seen and to be told that we matter are very powerful factors in helping us maintain our window of tolerance.” Be sure to watch these videos from Tracy Farrell to further understand the Window of Tolerance concept: The Window of Tolerance Reimagined: and The Panda’s Island of Regulation:
September 28, 2021
Ep 10: Why Rewards & Punishments Don't Always Work
Julie and Ginger discuss why rewards and punishments don’t work for traumatized children.  What are rewards? What are punishments? What are consequences? Why don’t they work and what should we do? Alternative methods, where relationships are primary, are presented.  They explore how to look underneath the behavior instead of simply punishing the behavior.  Ginger says, “We want our children to get back up when knocked down.  We want them to believe in themselves.” It’s important that children not see failure as an endpoint, but actually, a starting point to grow Registration is open for our 5th annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference - Feb 20-25, 2022.  There are both in-person & virtual options.  For more information about this conference go to:  This conference is for educators and all who work in schools and child-caring organizations. Here you can learn more about the conference and register. It's a fantastic gathering of those leading and growing the trauma-informed education movement.  We hope to see you there!
September 14, 2021
Ep 9: Back to School During a Pandemic, an Interview with Jen Alexander
Today, Julie and Ginger explore a timely topic - how to support students and staff returning to school during this pandemic.   They are joined by Jen Alexander, a teacher, school counselor, trauma informed expert and author of Supporting Students and Staff after Covid 19.  Jen says, “It's our job to notice the need and meet the need.”  She explains how to do this in the classroom, school, family, and community. Visit Jen’s website for more of her resources and to order her books. Her books can also be found in ATN’s bookstore at Don’t forget about our upcoming virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  It’s an event for those parenting/caregiving children impacted by trauma.  Our focus will be on how to advocate for our children - at school and in other systems.  For more information or to purchase tickets:
August 31, 2021
Ep 8: OMG! My Child Needs Special Education!
Today Julie and Ginger partner with Michele Nigliazzo, ATN’s Court Advocacy Director.  They discuss the impact of discovering that your child needs Special Education services. They reveal that grief is a natural response. Listen to Julie, Ginger and Michele share how to best navigate IEP meetings. Michelle recommends two books on the subject: From Emotions to Advocacy and Special Education and the Law.  Visit the Wright’s Law website,,  to  learn even more. Don’t forget about our upcoming virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  This is an incredible opportunity to learn more about special education advocacy for children impacted by trauma (and others as well).  Not to mention a great opportunity to experience the support and resources of ATN.  For more information or to purchase tickets:
August 17, 2021
Ep 7: The Importance of Together
Today Julie and Ginger talk with Stephanie Garde, ATN’s Operation Manager to discuss peer support. Parent-to-parent  support is the root of the foundation of the Attachment & Trauma Network. Stephanie explains that peer-to-peer support is so critical.  She says “Peer support becomes so life-changing that once you’ve received it and you’re no longer in crisis mode, there’s a pull to ‘pay it forward’.” Listen as Julie, Ginger, and Stephanie talk about the core competencies of good support and discuss the pitfalls that some support groups fall into. Are you a parent looking for tips on navigating the school system?  Join us for our virtual Standing Strong conference on September 13-15, 2021.  For more information or to purchase tickets:
August 03, 2021
Ep 5: Getting Back to "Normal": A Look at Collective Grief
What does it feel like as we start to get back to “normal”?  Ginger and Julie are exploring the emotional impact of the pandemic...the collective grief.  What is grief?  How do we handle change?  How do we help ourselves and others walk through these tremendous changes? We’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode.  Please email us at
July 20, 2021
Ep 6: What Trauma Looks Like in the Classroom
Today Julie & Ginger dig into how the impacts of trauma show up as behaviors in the classroom. While it’s not always easy to tell, we’re going to explore the ways that Fight, Flight, Freeze…and Fawn show up as behaviors and how we often misinterpret these as other things if we don’t look at the “why” under their behaviors. We’ll also explore some common learning challenges that children who have experienced significant abuse, neglect and maltreatment or have developmental delays. Is your school considering implementing trauma-informed strategies this year? ATN’s new Professional Development Collaborative is here to help. These trauma-informed experts are available to provide PD training and consultation to help your district, school or organization create a trauma-informed system. Learn more at Learn more about ATN’s Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Program – our annual conference and more at
July 20, 2021
Ep 4: Why Regulated?
In Episode 4, Ginger & Julie dig into Regulation and why being Regulated is part of the title of our podcast.  So what do we mean when we say regulated, or self-regulated?  And how is this important skill taught?  What happens if a child (you, or your children) missed this early step?  How can we teach self-regulation? Listen in as our hosts talk about the steps of helping a child to regulate and discuss many tools that can be used to help us all find a regulated state for ourselves…and help our children through co-regulation. We’d love to hear what you think of the R&R Podcast.  Please help us out with feedback.  Send your questions or comments to
June 22, 2021
Ep 3: Why Relational?
In Episode 3, Ginger & Julie dig into Attachment – what it is and how it’s developed. We’ll take a look at Attachment Theory and the 5 attachment styles, as well as what attachment theorists mean when they say “good enough” parenting. Definition to add to your vocabulary: Attunement is being able to tune in to your child’s emotional state. Allowing them to feel seen, known and understood at an emotional level. Providing nurture rather than making the child earn it. (Karen Buckwalter) The following are additional resources about Attachment Theory: · Harvard’s Serve & Return – building relationships with infants. · Attachment Theory in Action podcast · The Place We Find Ourselves podcast: · ATN’s Resource Directory – for locating trauma-informed/attachment-focused therapists
June 08, 2021
Ep 2: The Hope is in Resilience
The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver or other adult. These relationships are the active ingredients in building resilience.  A committed, stable adult buffers children from the full impact of a traumatic event...and can keep the stress from becoming toxic. -  Dr. Jack Shonkoff, Harvard's Center on the Developing Child. What is Resilience?  How is it developed?  Aren't some children just born resilient?  How can stress be both good and toxic?  What are protective factors...and how can we become a protective factor for the people in our lives? Ginger Healy & Julie Beem explore the topics of resilience, toxic stress, and where the hope for healing from early childhood trauma lies. Center on the Developing Brain - Harvard University Trauma Research Foundation
May 25, 2021
Ep 1: What is Trauma?
In our first episode, we start at the beginning by defining "What is Trauma?"  And discussing why creating a podcast at this point in time is a good idea.  Our goal is always to inform, give insight and hopefully inspire you on your journey to becoming trauma-informed.  As Julie says in this episode, "because trauma-informed isn't something you's something you become." Today's definitions of Trauma come from Dr. Bruce Perry ( and  1. A psychologically distressing event that is outside the range of normal human experience. Trauma often involves intense fear, terror, helplessness. - 2009 2. an experience, or pattern of experiences, that impairs the proper functioning of the person’s stress-response system, making it more reactive or sensitive. - current definition informed by SAMSHA's Concept of Trauma SAMSHA's Concept of Trauma:  Individual trauma results from an event, series of events or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual's functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. To learn more about the Attachment & Trauma Network, Inc.'s programs, membership and mission, visit
May 11, 2021
Trailer: Regulated & Relational
Welcome to Regulated & Relational, the new bi-monthly podcast from the Attachment & Trauma Network.  
April 27, 2021