Reset With Renee

Join a healing circle Wednesday May 8th 10 AM CST via Zoom to receive facilitation to connect to the Great Mother; a frequency that can tend to the Mother Wound many of us carry.

Creating generational health means breaking the cycle of disempowerment that is passed from each generation until a cycle breaker does the deep & often challenging & unrecognized work of healing their hurt as well as showing up for the hurt of their family.

Attend the event, purchase the recording, or listen to learn more about how to disrupt disempowering energy & activate personal power.

Two General Types Of Journaling

Processing - when activated, triggered, overwhelmed, flooded with thoughts or emotions it can help to “write it out”.

Wisdom Keeping – capture & record your truth, your “knowing”, & the downloads you receive when you reflect & contemplate. Regularly review for reflection & to remember until it is complete & you have room for new wisdom to come through.

Questions to Explore for a Regular Practice of “Checking In” Inside

1. Where am I holding fear? What is fear trying to tell me? Fear & shame are often carried consciously or unconsciously. Purifying that is helpful.

2. What do I know? What is the truth for me?

3. How’s my heart? How’s the space around my heart? Am I connected to my heart? What is blocking my heart?

Parts Check In for Processing

1. Wounded Younger Part “I HURT”

2. Protective Parts of “I MUST, I CAN’T, I WON’T, I WILL DESTROY”

3. Self-Energy of “I AM”

As you “Process Journal” you may notice wisdom, knowing, or solutions arising. This may be gold for your Wisdom Keeping Journal.

5 Behaviors to Purify for Healthy Connections

1. Separation

2. Comparison

3. Judgment

4. Blame

5. Shame

What we do internally we also do externally. It’s human. However, if done automatically, unconsciously, or reactively it’s going to create disconnection & disempowerment.

What’s your Shadow & Gift in your Gene Keys?

Renee has Gene Key #55 which is about moving from victimization to freedom (empowerment).

Validation & rupture repair of hurt & harm is what we want when we have been victimized & it is so healing when given, but this is not the norm. Our cultural norm is to avoid discomfort. Unconscious reactions add insult to injury. However, staying “stuck” in the victim story or state isn’t workable long-term as it creates bitterness, resentment, & disconnection.

Our culture has an epidemic of shame. Shame & its corresponding strategies have been passed down across generations largely in an attempt to keep certain people, places, & things secure & safe.

Disempowerment, Disconnection, & Calling Out:

Recognizing & drawing attention to problems is necessary for change & yet “calling out” contributes to separation.

Instead, CALL IN what you want to create more of, amplify, or elevate.

Where would you like to put the focus of your attention & intention, regardless of the outcome?

What is the challenge you’re facing & how can you frame it into an invitation for yourself & others?

Calling in & inviting is a better set up for all & increases connection, harmony, unity, & resolution.

What gets in the way of that for you? Check in with yourself to see who & what is running your show. What parts of you use the above 5 strategies? How connected or disconnected or you to yourself & others?

GIFTS OF CYCLE BREAKING

• Empowerment: moving from victimization to “I am the one.”

• Activation – if it’s in you or around you, it’s for you to turn towards.

• Reclaiming your birthright, your inherited gifts, & recovering your vitality.

• Moving from disempowered, transactional relationships to equal power + love + co-creating in alignment.

• Realizing FEAR was given to you to PROTECT you & knowing that it is not needed in the same way.

• Releasing FEAR & turning towards Courage & Conviction.

• Moving from FEAR to Possibilities.

• Seeing the larger context of trauma transmission across your lineage – across generations & taking the HURT less personally.

• Being ok no matter what.

• Allowing yourself to learn missed lessons & forgive yourself for past mistakes.

• Knowing the PEACE that being the path of least resistance offers you.

• Ending the cycle of relationships created in disempowerment & power over dynamics. Ending the passing of HURT & HARM.

• Releasing shame as you learn that your “worst” was your “best” attempt at protection.

• Releasing shame as you unwind conditioning & shake off what was projected onto you.

• Pride & celebration that you survived & you have time to begin again.

• Opportunity to pass gifts, wisdom, & love forward.

• Owning your story wholeheartedly.

• Be a lighthouse for others seeking safety & creating transformation at any level. Cycle breaking is for you, your community, & the collective. You are the epicenter of the ripple effect.

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To schedule your Reset With Renee email Renee directly: renee@resetwithrenee.com

Gen X

·   "I dug deep, paid my dues, do what’s expected of me, absorb expectations– any other way is soft”. 

·    Where is the resilience, discipline of younger generations?

·    Stuck between boomers & younger generations – doesn’t feel fair

·   Dealing with ageism

Younger Generations are challenging the Status Quo. 

·   Why devote all of me to a company that will betray me? 

·   Culture matters, values matter

·   Recognize the status quo isn’t working for them or anyone but those in power.

·    Challenging the power structure

Each generation has differences & similarities:

·   Needs, dreams, wounds, fears related their world of work & in their personal lives. 

·  They also have overdeveloped & underdeveloped skills. 

The person in the environment matters. 

• How can leadership encourage individual development & hold business to a higher standard of integrity for the good of all? 
• What do you think would help make your work life more sustainable? 
• What do you see happening that drains energy, respect, & trust?

GenX often feels a "rub" in parenting & in their profession or work life.

GenX is the first generation to raise children in a child “centric” way.  Previously, children were to be “seen & not heard”. 

GenX didn’t have access to social media or the internet, so they were not as educated or aware of differences outside of their environment.

GenX takes pride in their work ethic & are often perplexed by the values & choices of younger generations at work.

The GenX RUB is the holding of what they didn’t get, won’t get, & yet providing better or different for their children or younger generations they intersect with.  Parts of them may carry fear, frustration, resentment, & grief. 

GenX may be facing the “outcome” of their parenting strategy.  Due to hard socioeconomics & the GenX tendency to engage in the “righting reflex” some adult children are taking longer to find their way or may be lost - leading parents to wonder what they did wrong & feel shame.  Learned helplessness & opposition are 2 common reactions when parented with the” righting reflex”.

All generations have a chance to relationally heal when they engage in the 3 Rs:  Relate first, Regulate second, & Reason last.

Also, the invitation for healing includes owning the story of what has been denied & disowned in favor of the “solemn vow”. 

No shame or blame.  Instead got curious about family history & explore learning about missed developmental skills. Start with yourself first & invite your family to join you. 

Be prepared that their support may be on a continuum & that changes you make today may have a lag effect until you see a changed outcome. 

Common Mistakes My Clients Make

(With or Without CPTSD)

1.    Making decisions or interacting with others from a place of HURT

2.    Making decisions or interacting with others from a place of PROTECTIVE PARTS

Do You Do This?

Listen to find out if you engage in a power struggle between your parts & theirs.

Stop the Fawn/Collapse or FLIP

Many people on a healing journey have “go to” nervous system responses when stressed.  Shutting down via silence, people pleasing, or avoiding conflict is super common - & it may be crucial to safety.

However, some tire of feeling disempowered, of feeling like the “loser” in a “win-lose” dynamic & might FLIP to “power over.”

Someone Has to Make the First Move

A natural reaction to disempowered energy is to lead with PROTECTIVE PART energy (I must, I can’t, I won’t, I will destroy).  Your protective parts will trigger another person’s protective parts…& then you both are OFF to the races of a continued power struggle (DEFEND – ATTACK – DEFEND & REPEAT).

The Solution

1.    Exit the power struggle. Don’t stay in the place of “power over” aka “persecutor” & don’t stay in the place of disempowered aka “victim”.

2.    Connect inside to your own hurt & protective parts first.  This is attuning & attachment repair work that will help you embody personal power in a pure & clean way.

3.    Set an intention, align your actions, & embody your boundaries.  Remember other people’s behaviors are about them.  YOU can retain your personal power & avoid feeding the drama cycle or power struggle. 

4.    For difficult/challenging people consider deepening your understanding of *Energetic Stewardship.

**(Class coming in September 2024 within Portals, Pathways, or the Reset Collective – see IG LInktree @ResetwithRenee below.)

·      

What is the common denominator in my work with clts?

·    Attachment vs authenticity & imperfect caregiving

·    Nervous system regulation 4 Fs & window of tolerance & polyvagal ladder

·   Protective Parts & Wounded Parts

·   Room to develop connection to self & others

·   Integration & connection b/w mind, body, heart, spirit, soul, & universe

A CPTSD survivor has to reclaim their seat of personal power, spirituality, gifts & expertise, to recover. 

Most people, unless activated by an external event, don’t sign up for the ultramarathon of healing work voluntarily – CPTSD survivors have no choice if they want to live a life of freedom & peace. 

You want to learn from the experts, right?

CPTSD survivors are cycle breakers & I can bet that if you don’t have the trauma history you will have likely encountered a tricky or toxic person, place, or thing that will challenge your perspective, skillset & capacity, AND invite expansion.

I wouldn’t have asked for my trauma. 

Everyone I know would say the same. 

And yet, with healing our wisdom is unmistakable. 

CPTSD survivors & our healing is a gift to the collective. 

When you are ready to learn & grow you will want to work with someone that knows themself, owns their story, is authentic, & can guide your journey – a person that gets the challenge, knows the obstacles, knows when to nudge, & when to allow pacing. 

Having a guide that can hold space & provide a path is priceless. 

The outcome, no matter what, is something you won’t regret.

It’s a gift you give yourself, your family, your community, & generations to come. 

Join us in breaking the cycle of living, loving, & leading in survival, fear, & control & instead learn to lean in to connect.   

This is so common. People change over time & when one partner "awakens" to a healing journey, it prompts the other partner to stay with the status quo, "I am the way that I am" OR lean into an assessment of the relationship & their life satisfaction. You can both decide to grow & the relationship could grow or one or both could decide the relationship is no longer aligned. Sometimes the person that initiates healing gets left by the other partner. It has to do with change & capacity. In this video I reference: 3Cs 2Rs 2Ds Summary: Change is an opportunity to evaluate, evolve, & expand your capacity to yourself & others - no matter the outcome of the relationship. Stay connected to yourself, be present, mind your needs, communicate clearly, & allow the process to unfold. #resetwithrenee

IFS

• “this is what I’ve been searching for”
• full body chills – I want this! 
• Talk therapy wasn’t enough.

Overview of the model

• Self energy 8 Cs: confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity, courage, compassion, and connectedness.
• 5Ps patience, perspective, presence, playfulness and persistenc      Exiles/YWP - "I hurt"
• Protective parts (managers & firefighters): I must/won’t/can’t/will destroy

Professional training in the model: Level 1 & 2 in St. Louis 2010 & 2011 

Personal therapy in the model & couples therapy      

CPTSD is a different beast to treat.

Common parts in CPTSD:  overthinking/analyzing/looping, pleasing, perfectionism/critics/guilt/fear.

BREAKTHROUGH & BREAKDOWN: 40 - 49  

· Breaking down is often the breakthrough but it is difficult.

· Collapse of survival & manager parts; total ANS burnout

·  Dark night of the soul

·  Rebirth – a process of release, resolution, reclamation, & reimagining.  It’s a return home to your native essence, gifts, calling, & energy.  From there you can reimagine a different way forward. But first It’s a cleaning up of the internal & external world & it impacts every aspect of your life

I am not alone.

Adults who have higher ACE scores, experienced abuse and/or neglect, & weren’t supported “enough” to meet their developmental needs start their adult life overburdened & underdeveloped.  They are set up to make life & relationship decisions that further set them back.  They cope as best as possible until they arrive at a place where they can no longer continue with what has worked for them before. 

You are not alone.  The path of healing & recovery is available to you.  You have what you need to heal; you just may need some bridging & support along the way. 

Beginning again, connecting inside, & using IFS as a starting point helps CPTSD survivors begin to turn chaos into calm, fear into clarity & confidence, & disconnection & separation into connection.

Recovery & healing is possible.  A pathway of unburdening, integrating, & embodying exists. 

I invite you to reach out to reset.

#resetwithrenee #ifstherapy #ifscoaching #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #workouttherapist #cptsd #hsp #narcissisticabusesurvivor #divorcerecovery #traumainformed #emdr #psychedelicassistedtherapy #connectinside #howtohuman #wholehearted #embodied #integrated #harmony #healing #selfenergy #youaretheone

Power is useful, a resource; & can be used for good or to cause hurt or harm. 

This episode applies to all relationships in your life.  The goal is to be in right relationship with others, each person in their personal power.

If something feels “off” check to see if there is a power struggle, hustle, or leak. 

1.   Victim, Perpetrator, Rescuer triangle – know what it is & how to get off it.

2.     Unconscious Relationships -3 projects

• Trying to force partner to change back.
• Trying to force ourselves to change.
• Give up & close heart.

3.     Pure Power/Personal Power (From Tanner Wallace)   I have agency, choice & am empowered.    It’s not about what happens to you; it’s about how you handle it.   I have faith in myself & take aligned action moment to moment.

I’m in my power; you’re in your power, equal but different.  I honor me.  I honor you.  I honor us but not at the cost of me

What’s here for me, for us, & is possible now?         Right action, right time, no forcing.  Allow it to unfold to completion.        Discern what is the wisdom, insights, lessons. 

What is it I’m desiring, want to deepen, embody, or lean into?

Mind, body, heart, soul, spirit synched up

4.     What is circumstantial power? (From Tanner Wallace)

Looking outside of yourself for your sense of being ok.

Chasing: seeking validation, information, or truth from others.

Hoping:  hope alone - with no aligned action, skill set assessment, is a recipe for giving our power away -hoping everyone else will do better or circumstances will change.  Delusional fantasy/wishful thinking.

Grabbing:  when we don’t trust us or have faith in the process/path to unfold & force something not believing that we are ok or enough, have the necessary skills.

Waiting:  decision making by default, deferring to another versus discerning the unfolding/evolution

5.      Other forms of disempowerment (from Gene Keys):

Complaining -disempowering oneself, problem oriented. The energy of the complaint itself serves to strengthen the illusion that life is so very hard.

Causes sustained general wear on our physical organism = energy leak. Freedom occurs when we see through our deepest unconscious patterns (fears) to the heart of this energetic. 

Acknowledge the trigger,the unconscious root, & address the need for you.

Blaming - We fire an arrow at another that removes self-responsibility for our situation, giving away our true power & presence.  All blame is an expression of anger projected outwardly but is not pure. Pure anger is a release of the primal energy of fear that may be triggered by an external source but does not target the source.

The moment one blames another, one is again the victim of one’s own drama (Victim Triangle). 

It is impossible to blame another for one’s fate & simultaneously realize that one is simply an actor in a play.  Everyone is their own main character; don’t take it in or take it personally that you are a collateral character in someone else’s story.      True freedom occurs when the arrows of blame are caught mid-flight before they reach their target. 

No personal power in shaming or judging.  These are strategies we use when we don’t feel personal power. Personal power requires discernment not judging.

6.     Abuse of power

When others power over you to gain the upper hand for them & keep you in a place of inferiority to serve their objective; hurt & harm are caused at an individual & collective level.

·       Gaslighting

·       Aggression, Dominance, Threat

·       Manipulation, Coercive control

#resetwithrenee #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #coach #ifs #narm #empowerment #agency #relationshiptips #wholehearted #howtohuman #healingversuscoping #partswork #trailhead

·       

INTIMACY = “Into ME” “I see”

For intimacy you would need the following ingredients, steps, or skills:

1. Self-awareness: what’s happening inside/outside

2. Self-reflection: what’s working/not working

3. Self-regulation:

• How to down regulate or up regulate
• Differentiation, Self regulation, & Attachment - Ability to hold onto Self (David Schnarch, author of Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationships)

4. Self-expression: Ability to articulate/verbalize aspects of your internal world, in a calm, clear, energetically clean manner & ideally to be received as such.

INTIMACY WITH OTHERS

• It gets more complicated & challenging when bringing your Self to share with the “other” that matters to you.
• Trust, safety, & respect are prerequisites for intimacy.
• Taking your armor off or laying it down, exposing your heart, & allowing for your Self to be seen requires a safe context & sufficient skill set.

BLOCKS TO INTIMACY 

1.  Cultural

2. Personal/Relational

“U Turn” & #connectinside

· What are you thinking, feeling, sensing, doing?

· What need, fear, wound, or dream is at stake?

· What “usual suspects” are coming up to protect you? Can you tend & befriend them? Their energy, emotion, & message is a gift.

When intimacy is shaky, get curious about what is driving behavior (yours or theirs).

· Are you resonating with fear?

· Are you resonating with the present moment? Here, here, now, now, what is possible?

· Are you connected to your heart, your truth?

· Are you in a state of contraction or expansion?

· Do you need time/space to “rest & digest” & have you communicated that?

· Are you focusing on growth, co-creation, & empowerment?

SUMMARY

There is a shift happening across generations. Old patterns of living & relating are being questioned, assessed, & when needed or desired, updated. You may not have learned the basic skills, steps, or ingredients of intimacy & you CAN now. To explore this topic further or to grow your relational skills... reach out to #reset!

1. Acronyms

ANXIETY DRIVEN

Forget/Fuck Everything And Run

False Evidence Appearing Real

False Emotions Appearing Real

(seeing the world through defensive frames)

EMPOWERMENT DRIVEN

Face Everything And Rise

(note & drop the story, note the facts or problem, what is here now, what’s possible)

2. Fear creates discomfort, conflict or conflict avoidance, “anxiety”/non-neutral energy & power struggles -consciously or unconsciously.

3. The 3 Projects in Relationships (to “relieve” discomfort)

· Try to force a person/partner/situation to change.

· Try to force ourselves to change.

· Give up & close the heart.

-->“Fix IT or Forget IT”

4. What to do instead, “the antidote”: Be your primary caretaker.

· Do a “U turn” & connect inside with your discomfort/fear.

· What “story” about the past, present, or future is the fear or anxiety wanting you to be aware of?

· My most recent experience: I felt a mix of anxiety/fear/panic internally & once I was “with” the emotional & physical energy of IT, I was made aware of past experiences/stories of being managed, manipulated, & controlled. My fear/anxiety was basically signaling …. “something feels OFF & is this what is happening right now”?

· Moving out of the story allowed me to assess how I wanted/needed to move forward with a tricky situation from a centered place instead of an anxious or constricted place.

· Going “inside” can be challenging if your habit is to avoid, suppress, or deny. Ironically, going inside is the quickest way to gain clarity & calm about next steps. Think of “going inside” as a practice like exercise – reps over time makes it easier!

· In an intimate relationship, allow your partner to be the secondary caretaker & not “responsible” for your internal state. When you don’t project your fear outward, there is a better chance they can hold space for you, with you, to provide co-regulation.

5. Some fears are not even our own; they precede us from past generations & have been passed to you – consciously or unconsciously. A helpful book on fear based conditioning being transmitted across generations is: “It Didn’t Start With You” by Mark Wolynn. If this concept interests you, check it out! In brief the author invites you to explore the following:

· Identify the trigger to your fear.

· Identify the core language central to the fear.

· Determine whose story it is – from whom & where did that messaging come?

· Integrate & alchemize fear -helpful suggestions on how to release, return, or transmute the fear. Fear can be a dark energy given to you by others & having a process to move it is transformational.

6. Lastly, if you are in relationship with someone who is experiencing fear, this information applies. Be a safe space. Ask what they need. If they don’t know, offer or provide some options you know they appreciate, & honor their requests. Co-regulation, holding safe space with care & no agenda, is usually a winning strategy. If someone has turned to you with their fear, consider that a high compliment of trust.

WHY DREAMS MATTERS

1. Dreams for Self

· Are wishes, hopes, & aspirations you have for your life, are a part of your identity, & give purpose & meaning to your life.

· Dreams like values & rituals, help anchor & reinforce our connections.

· They are allowed to change or evolve. What were your dreams when you were a child, a teen, getting married, retiring?

2. Dreams with Others

· Co-create with others (partner, children, community, work)

· Before you co-create you need to know the people you care about – how well do you know their inner & outer world, their history, their needs & how does that inform their dreams for today & the future?

FEED THE DREAM - RELATIONSHIPS

1. Relationship Deposits & Leaks

· What thoughts/beliefs or practices/habits/actions

· Give or Take Away support to “the Dream”?

2. John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work & Brent Atkinson, The 10 Habits of Successful Intimate Partners, highlight practices for meeting dreams as well as dealing with change, differences, & conflict.

3. Daily Temperature Reading (Step 5)

SUMMARY:

· Having dreams for your future & making meaning out of life is part of thriving yet it can be challenging in the pace of our culture.

· Living wholeheartedly & with conscious intention allows you to co-create the life you want for yourself and/or with others.

· Inner or outer conflict is often a sign of unmet needs (see Season 2 Episode 1), frustration in moving dreams forward, or a challenge in connection.

I hope you find this series helpful. Stay tuned for future episodes on fears, communication, and conflict…just to name a few.

Thank you for listening. Please like, follow, share, or leave a review in support of the Podcast. 

Reach out to Reset!  For consultation: renee@resetwithrenee.com.

#resetwithrenee #coach #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #cptsd #cyclebreaker #recoveringfamilyhero #generationalhealing #transformnottransmit #recovery #healing #relationshiptips #partnering #marriage #divorcrecovery #parenting #leading#emotionalintelligence #mentalhealth #wellbeing #relationships #rupturerepair #intimacy #attachment #connectinside #howtohuman #healingversuscoping #traumainformed

TAKE 3 on the KAP podcast recording.... Progress NOT Perfection:  some audio & editing issues exist but I wanted to share & move on...!  

Renee with @ResetWithRenee discusses her KAP (Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy) experience in Boulder at IPI in December 2022 & shares an overview of the year-long IPI training she is completing.  

@IntegrativePsychiatryInstitute 

IPI offers a 10-12 month Psychedelic Assisted Therapy (PAT) program that consists of 2 online weekend intensives, weekly learning & meetings, & the in-person, KAP experiential.  

#resetwithrenee #ipi #kap #pat #healing #mindbody #naturalstatetherapy #showmestatetherapy #coach #ifs

What does it mean to 'RESET"?  

The end of the year is great time to reflect on what to:

• keep
• loosen, relax, or let go
• add to or expand 
• set as intentions for the upcoming year    

My clients hire me to guide them on their journey when they are invited by life to RESET from "coping" to "healing".  It can be hard work (I know) & yet so worth it!   

A return to your true self allows you to live, love, & lead with a whole heart.  I want that for me, for you, & for the world.  

In this episode, I discuss:

• coping vs. healing
• generational evolution
• developmental needs
• the importance of self regulation/soothing 
• the importance of attuned co-regulation
• disorders as starting points to understand how symptoms have evolved from unmet needs & unaddressed wounds
•  how critical it is to have a balanced nervous system & physiology for mental & relational health

These are skills you can learn! 

I invite you to work with me.  Email me renee@resetwithrenee.com or call 314-276-1680 to schedule your 2023 RESET.  As always, you are invited to connect with me on the Reset With Renee socials @Resetwithrenee.  Likes, shares, & comments help promote my work to more people & are appreciated:) 

Let me know what ?s you have that you would like to see more content on in 2023. 

#resetwithrenee #coach #therapist #podcaster #naturalstatetherapist #showmestatetherapist #generationalhealing #cptsd #recovery #mindbody #ans #polyvagal #relationships #partnering #parenting #connectinside #copingversushealing #wholehearted #newyearintentions #reset

• BIDS: TOWARDS, AWAY, AGAINST or if not responded to a person will PROTEST.
• If bids or protest are NOT met: RUPTURE.  Repair is needed.
• Without repair, people LEARN TO DISCONNECT.
• If this pattern of disconnection becomes habituated people learn:  NOT TO TRUST -  1) SELF 2) OTHERS 3) "THE WORLD"
• This all relates to developed ATTACHMENT STYLE.  In the absence of relational repair, a secure attachment style won't be formed.  The person will apply the attachment style inwardly & outwardly. DISCONNECTION becomes an adaptive/defense mechanism. 
• Once an adult, INNER CHILD WORK = INNER ATTACHMENT WORK... AS NO ONE IS COMING.
• Adult relationships = secondary attachment figures; adults need to be responsible (able to respond) to their inner & outer world as needed.
• TRAUMA ECOSYSTEM = families or environments with poor relational or conflict management skills - may be tricky, traumatic, toxic, dysfunctional.  
• MOTHER/FATHER WOUND = if your parents could not attune to your signals/cues or if there are generational legacies you are carrying, you may find you have unresolved issues with one or both of your parents that drive your behaviors in your present day relationships.

REFLECTION:  

HOW DO YOU TURN TOWARDS YOURSELF & OTHERS? HOW DO YOU TURN AWAY?  HOW DO YOU TURN AGAINST? WHERE DO YOU STUMBLE?  WHAT COULD CHANGE IF YOU HAD HELP?

See IG @resetwithrenee for video: 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CmIRT3fpakJ/

#resetwithrenee #attachmentstyles #innerchild #healing #relationships #generationalhealing #cptsd #aces #gottman #ifs #narm #holidays #Emotionalintelligence #co-regulating #polyvagal #ans 

Listen to learn how different generations approach mental health.  

You will learn that connection is the medicine for many physical & mental health challenges.  

Knowing how do connect from a place of regulation, not reactivity, is key.  

How do you & your family do with that?  

Notice with curiosity & compassion (and without judgment) this holiday season...what works well & what results in challenging dynamics &/or behaviors.

Reach out to RESET if you want to grow your own ability & capacity.  

Key points in this episode:

• Gen X & Boomers orient to being independent & relate internally & externally with "tough love" ... which leaves deficits that get exposed under stress.  
• Millennials & Gen Z have higher rates of mental health challenges & more openness to getting help.
• NOW is a collective opportunity to assess, address, and pivot towards greater mental, physical, & relational health.
• Meeting needs proactively & with attunement in the moment = quality caregiving/relating
• Regulate internally first & from that place provide co-regulation for best results.
• Understand that problematic behaviors/symptoms are our best attempt at communicating needs & is not something to shame/pathologize.
• Know that nervous system activation cannot be met with cognitive/rational/"logical" approaches but rather an emotional/relational/somatic/intuitive response (no matter the age or capacity of the person).
• Coping is not healing; healing is connection.  Coping is best for a short term strategy; healing is best for long term outcomes.

To sign up for email, see website:  www.resetwithrenee.com.

To connect, call or text:  314-276-1680 or email:  renee@resetwithrenee.com

Follow @resetwithrenee on FB, Insta, & LinkedIn.  

Follow, like, & share this episode on Anchor FM, Spotify, or Amazon Music.

Thank you for listening & Happy Thanksgiving 2022!

Issues of power & control are threaded throughout the fabric of our relationships & systems.  Increasing awareness of the coercive control dynamic is a first step in individual, relational, & collective growth.  Safe homes, families, communities, & systems depend upon this collective understanding.  Listen to learn more about this relevant topic.    

Questions posed in our conversation: 

1. Can you share with the audience how your experience led you to write this book? 

2. Can you highlight for listeners the difference between being empowered & powering over?   

3. What do you see as the process of growing in personal power?  

4. What would you like people to understand about their role as a friend/bystander/passive accomplice?   

5. If someone doesn’t identify as a victim of IPV, can you help the audience understand how this book could be helpful to them in their life/relationships/work/communities?   

6. What would you like people to better understand about covert tactics of coercive control? 

7. Can you describe the metaphor you use in Part 8 on “How Do I Go Forward”? (germination, fertilizers, transplanting, grieving, nurturing growth). 

8. As you promote the book have you had any surprising/unexpected feedback?  

Author Bio: Jennifer went for a master’s degree in Social Work after her eyes were opened to intimate partner abuse by an internship with a domestic abuse shelter. Her degree included training in working with intimate partner abusers and victims. Jennifer practiced as a mental health therapist for 35 years while also specializing in individual and group work with those who experienced abuse.  Since retiring from therapy, she has two missions. She trains therapists in effective therapy for abuse victims. And she markets her book and blog through podcasts and social media. Jennifer wrote Coercive Relationships: Find the Answers You Seek to reach both victims and non-victims. She believes widespread understanding of the dynamics of coercive control will promote healing in both intimate relationships and institutions. Coercive Relationships was a finalist in the 2022 Next Generation Indie Book Awards.  

In her leisure time, Jennifer values time with her children and grandchildren, traveling, reading, making her own cards, and hiking.    Contact Info and Links:  Jennifer Parker Therapy, Training, & Consultation jennifer.womensvoices@gmail.com 608-658-8597   

Author of Coercive Relationships: Find the Answers You Seek   

Book links: https://linktr.ee/jennifercparkermssw  Website: http://jennifercparkermssw.com    

Blog signup:   https://madisonmentalhealthcounselor.com/blog     

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferCParkerMSSW Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferc.parker/ LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/jennifer-parker-therapy-training-consultation/ 

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