SWMedia Presents: Ron Schaefer's Podcast

prelude, Rig Veda

A funny little man with a funny little obsession.

Jimmy is the smartest kid on the playground.  He knows about sex.  Or thinks he does.

Marvin Branch is a nerdy kid who loves biology -- a little too much, as he soon takes on aspects of the trees he is planting.

Young Purvis Peevis turns an ordinary bell into a healing miracle just by wishful thinking.

Shiva of the mind.

A kindly old man keeps the neighbors happy, but has a somber secret.

A soldier stuck in a jungle in the middle of a war, fights fear and the environment to stay alive.

Egbert makes a stinky brew that blankets the entire neighborhood to everyone's dismay.

Marvin has a problem, and that is, a really, really, really big zit.

The foreword and back cover blurb as written on Schaefer's book of stories: Collectables.

Final episode of Pulsar poems, plus a brief summary

Early poems of Ron Schaefer.

Pulsar poetry

Pulsar poems

Pulsar's poetry continues.

More nonsense surreal poetry from RHSSchaefer.

More freaky snapshots of life from the mind of the poet.

A book of weird and weirdly inventive poetry (his first!) by Ron HS Schaefer.  This episode contains verses (all numbered) from 1 -- 22.

Night Visions: selected poems of darkness & dread by HP Lovecraft, read by Ron Schaefer, accompanied by himself.

Fungi From Yuggoth, a narrative suite of poems about the nightmarish visions and strange happenings in and around the town of Aylesbury, by H.P. Lovecraft as read by Ron Schaefer, music by Ron Schaefer

Ron Schaefer reads HP Lovecraft: PSYCHOPOMPOS: this, one of the longest of Lovecraft's narrative poems, tells of a strange couple who settle in New England from France, and bring with them, a horrible secret.

Peter and company develop a strategy for attacking the beasts using Alka-Seltzer.

Peter talks the Detective into capturing a monster eel by using a fat guy eating pizza as bait.

Peter is taken aboard an undersea spaceship to talk to the Fish People to learn the secret of the monster eels.

Peter participates in a seance and then takes a journey down the Miami sewer system looking for water monsters.

Peter gets the low-down on U.S.Os as a possible source for the ass-eating eels.

Peter is called back to investigate a second ass murder, and meets Dr. Slipp who has a theory that the attackers is actually a genetically altered eel.

Peter goes to Miami Beach to investigate a report of a man who mysteriously died from having his butt eaten.

Japan ships in a giant vagina trap for the giant penis, and Peter is there with the Asian engineers to watch the experiment of the interface of monster and robot.

Peter goes to Japan to find the "Zillatrap," a trap the Japanese have constructed to catch Godzilla.

Peter finds his way into the army camp awaiting the monster just as it reappears from out of the bay, and a full scale military assault goes into high gear.

The monster penis rises up in the harbor of New York City as Peter manages to get to the east coast.  As it attacks Coney Island, Peter seeks out a way in to the command post to find out what the plans are for fighting the beast.

While Peter is stuck in a tree, being cast as Godfrey Olsen Davis's Snake to his own invented Eve, the giant purple penis begins to ravage west Texas, forcing the governor to call out the National Guard, and the local militia's like Bob's Marines, and Ma Fischer's Air Force to organize.

Peter meets with G.O.D. on the man's own private island in the Bahamas, and is told of plans for a new Earth.

After discovering what caused the explosion in Los Alamos from Zelda, Peter finds Dr. Kohlssohr working as Herpes the Elf at Knott's Berry Farm who fills in the details of what the experiments really were.

Peter goes into the depths of the NSA and finds a report on Private Head's demise at an H-Bomb test years ago.

Peter meets with Dr. Kohlssohr, there is an explosion in Los Alamos, and Peter goes to Washington DC where he contacts a spy -- Helmut the Ex-Nazi.

Peter, disguised as a Japanese tourist, meets up with Zelda Grinchhandler, a Los Alamos Lab insider.

Peter travels to Los Alamos to investigate lead-lined condoms, the source of the mysterious "Dick's Project."

Somewhere in the Nevada desert during the 1950s, a Private Dick Head was used as a guinea pig to witness a bomb explosion, only he wandered out of his bunker and got blown up -- all except certain parts.

The Device is launched into space, sending its ultrasonic vibrations to the world below -- with overwhelming results.

The Flabbergast Device is readied for launch and the world waits with anticipation and cramps.

Flabbergast and the US government officials find and talk to the Great Anus.

The CIA gets involved and asses are probed to find the Great Anus.

Peter is sequestered into a hotel room while Flabbergast works, only to have the Doctor pay him a visit to bemoan his problems.  Meanwhile Heckhauler becomes a media star.

Dr. Flabbergast tells Peter he's been talking to Anuses.  Meanwhile, Brubaker, an agent with the CIA, stops in to take them to a special lab in the United States.

Dr. Flabbergast tells Peter all about the study of ancient anuses.

The world's leaders gather for a circle jerk to discuss its problems; Hamm Heckhauler becomes a prophet; and Peter goes to Zurich to find out more about Dr. Flabbergast.

The world goes into lockdown in a panic as all trade and travel, and all its world leaders are gripped with constipation.  Peace is declared because no one feels well enough to go to war.