Do Kind Deeds!

Incredible Years-Parenting Class-L#1-#2-Season 2-SPECIAL TIME! The Importance of playing with children! Building self-worth, Independence, Social emotional competence, problem-solving, and language skills! Teaching the child that they have a voice and have control over themselves!! And that parents are there to support and encourage them. The foundation to a strong and healthy relationship between parent and child.

Incredible Years- L-#11-#12-NATURAL AND LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES! Let your child experience Natural and Logical Consequences as early as possible in life! This will teach them to be responsible and socially competent!

Incredible Years- L #6 Rules, Responsibilities, and Routines!  What is the purpose of setting Rules, Responsibilities, and Routines? Because children thrive in this environment, feel safe, and feel important and loved! Children begin to practice independence and to problem solve as they learn consequences.  And the best part is that it reduces the power struggle between parent and child! Never set more than 4-5 Rules at one time!  Because you need to effectively monitor, give rewards or follow through with consequences!  Start with the most challenging behaviors, set rules in place, involve the child in the process, be consistent, and follow through!  Once the children master those rules move on to others.  Explain everyone's roles in the household and how everyone contributes to having a safe, happy, clean home etc....Describe in detail and practice how they are to do the chores assigned.  And go over the rewards and consequences.  Post the Rules, charts on a highly visible site so the children are reminded by looking at them instead of hearing what to do from parents all the time!

Incredible Years – L #5- Tangible Rewards-Part 2. Tangible rewards part 2. Making a list of tangible rewards in three sections. No cost rewards, very little cost rewards, and long-term rewards. Planning on presenting the behavior rewards plan and involving the children on choosing their own rewards and consequences from the lists you’ve created. Making sure both spouses are on the same page and that you both work as a team on implementing the plan. Doing the “I, we, you” concept. Where you role model to the child what they need to do, you show the tools needed to make it work. And you follow through with a reward. Consistency in monitoring the rewards is key for success. When a child has a voice in implementing the rewards and consequences then they are more invested in obeying!

Incredible years-parenting class Lesson #5-part 1– tangible rewards! Tackling a specific behavior with the child by rewarding with a tangible reward temporarily until they master the behavior that you are after. Making a list of no monetary rewards, very little cost rewards, and long-term rewards. Planning how to present the behaviors you’ll be working on and the rewards for the children. Involve the children and telling you the kind of rewards that they would like to earn for working on certain behaviors. Get leverage and they will work harder to earn those rewards. make this age-appropriate. Do not mix rewards with punishment! And remember the difference between a reward and a bribe. A reward is given after the child has successfully completed the behavior. A bribe is given to them before they completed the behavior. Help yourself avoid this by giving “if and” then” statements! Do the “I, we, you” concept. Praise the effort! Consistently monitor the reward program!

Effective praise and positive encouragement part two focused on praising very specifically and encouraging positively. Praise children in front of others as much as possible. Resisting the urge to tell a child how they need to do it better right away. The “I do,” “we do”, “you do" concept! The last two steps can be interchanged but they still understand and it's clear how it should be done!  This means I the parent will role model how I want things done, we will practice together! Then you the child will do it on your own.  This will embed what they are supposed to do in a clear effective way.  It is setting them up for success!  Monitoring or being present is key!  Reasons why we should praise flyer.  Sometimes cultural differences make it harder to praise without someone being critical of all the praising!  You will always have positive consequences on praising a child then if you hold back! It will feel awkward if you haven't been the praising kind before.  You must plan and practice finding the words, phrases that feel natural to you!  Talk to the children about what you are doing and why! So enlist the children to help you do it!

The Incredible years-lesson 4-Part two praising and positive encouragement– Praising is so detrimental to relationships and in decreasing bad behaviors. Praise specifically, stay away from just saying "good job, nice job, way to go," etc...  Praise the effort, praise the child behaving the best, self-praise, praise with body language, eye contact, and enthusiasm!  And stay away from praising sarcastically, and Do not take the praise away by criticizing something else or using ‘but...’ And label how a child feels when they’re being praised! Catch children doing Good instead of just reacting when they behave badly!! Do not give any attention to the bad behavior or it will continue happening! Redirect the negative behavior by focusing on what you want to have happened instead of being critical.  Stay away from saying "NO" because it gets a negative reaction right away and it will take a greater effort to neutralize that and focus back on the original problem.  You are making deposits to the parent-child relationship when you praise and give positive encouragement! Use "repair statements" because it shows we are not perfect parents! It's okay to apologize to a child! 

Incredible year’s Lesson 4-finishing up on social-emotional coaching and moving on to praise and encouragement! Help children not to quit on what they do.  Guide them to persist, take breaks and problem solve!  Reflect where you are in describing your own feelings and emotions by doing two 1 minute exercises.  Keep expanding the vocabulary in social, emotional, and persistence area.  And set up an area in the home where you can send the children to feel better.  Put a chart showing faces of different feelings and emotions.  And help the child identify that when they are feeling better!  This will become one of the most important things you do as a parent.  We will learn to praise very specifically! And to focus on the positive behaviors, and stay away from taking away the praise by saying the word ‘but’ or by being sarcastic! Catch children doing good and positively encourage them to keep doing more of that through specific praising! 

Model what it means to be in control in these areas and model how to say things and do things! Social, Emotional, Persistence, Academic Coaching! Think what a coach does? And take that approach and describe play by play what is going on so they learn the vocabulary for feelings, emotions,  social, academic, and persistence language skills. Descriptive commenting-Become the sports announcer!

The importance of parental attention and special time. The value of descriptive commenting, modeling, longer-term projects or activities, activities that include traditions.  Balancing power between parents and children by allowing them to direct the activity.  Complete undivided attention by the parent with the child! Allow the child to direct the play but do give suggestions for play if the child doesn't seem to know where to start.

Special time with children! It must be undivided attention and child-directed play. This is the foundation of your relationship with your child! 10-15 minutes of undivided attention will decrease behaviors! Tell the child you want to spend special time daily, be consistent and the child will start trusting your word, and will start developing self-esteem and emotional confidence! 

What is Incredible Years about? It's all-encompassing parenting course that is 12 weeks long.  You go over the material, role play, share experiences, and watch videos of parents putting into action what was taught.  You get many handouts and links to supplemental materials that you can implement or look into in your own time.  You get the Incredible Years Book that goes with the lessons. And you go home and practice what was learned in the classroom.  You will be asked to keep written track record on the forms handed to you weekly so that you can look back and learn from it! You will get all the materials needed to implement things at home!  It is the best Parenting Course out there! So tell everyone to find out who offers it in your community and supplement that with these podcasts.  

Bought some Tamales from Enrique, a hard working man, who was standing in the cold asking everyone if they wanted to buy from him.  Life changing moment for me!

Youth are the future leaders of the World-Interviewing future college students.  Build confidence in youth by reinforcing their accomplishments and efforts in the pursuit of education or a better life! Kind words will boost them and help them persist and believe they can accomplish their dreams.  

Watching Others go the Extra Mile in Doing Kind Deeds Energizes My Soul and Makes me Want to be Better! I feel a higher power when I witness that and it motivates me to keep pursuing BECOMING  more so that I can GIVE more! It pushes me out of my Comfort zone to learn things that I would otherwise not venture into.  Thankful that I can find some of these great stories on social media.  Because it makes me want to share what I witness or feel with others!  It's a major motivation to keep going and to spotlight the Goodness of People! So Check out my facebook page DO KIND DEEDS and Blog and Podcast to see, hear, and read some of these inspiring stories.  Animal Rescue Stories are some of my favorites!  But nothing is more powerful than watching people helping people!  Where race and hate melt to just show our true humanity-love and kindness! I want to share the Goodness of others to impact and give hope to many!  The wish of a dying homeless man to see his dog one last time is one of these inspiring stories!

Happy Easter! Making today a day to be Grateful! Grateful for a Kind God! Who loves me and you so much!  His love is incomprehensible yet I can feel it! I am so Grateful for Jesus Christ who was willing to die for me so that I can have a better life! His resurrection is proof there is a better life now and later if we choose to accept their love for all of us! A day of reflection!

Accepting the Kind Deeds of Others!  Great Neighbors that Make my life easier!  Acknowledge the little things that people do for you as acts of Kindness.  Smiles, waving at you, calling you by your name, etc... Simple Acts can mean so Much if we acknowledge them! and become grateful for them!

My Journey! I'm in the process of becoming the best version of myself! Look for the Rainbows and not the Storms!  When you feel like everything goes wrong the best thing to do is Serve Others!  And chose to Walk with God to make the Road Easier to Travel!

Kind Deeds of my God! Against Incredible odds, I found things that were important to me! Through that process, I felt His incredible love for me! "Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous!" God loves all of us! And what is important to you is important to HIM! He shows His love for us by small and simple things but sometimes we see incredible things! The more you recognize his love in all the things around you, the more you see it and feel it! And that gives us Strength to Overcome our Trials!

My story-coming to America! Life as a 9year old in a new world! The Kind Deeds done for me! Thank you! to my fourth-grade teacher for redirecting my life in a positive way!

My first podcast-small simple things give hope! Wow!  I apologize for not knowing what to do and sounding less than enthusiastic in this podcast.  It's learning and progressing that matters!  I will get better!