Sal Jefferies Coaching
By Sal Jefferies Coaching & Training
Sal Jefferies CoachingAug 03, 2018
Your story is in body as well as your mind - working with the body and mind can unravel blocks, heal traumas and help you become strong.
Hey, welcome to this interview with Victoria Salomon and myself, Sal Jefferies. In this episode, we discuss from our respective fields the theme 'Your story is in body as well as your mind'. We share how working with body and mind can unravel blocks, heal traumas and help you become strong.
There are 3 areas we cover from working with the body and the mind:
- Healing trauma. (physical or emotional)
- Pain relief
- Freedom / confidence
Victoria works with healing trauma from a body-based practice. I work with mindset, mood (emotions) and movement. We have a deep and insightful conversation about some of the ways we both experience healing and growth. We hope you find insights and new knowledge and thank you for listening.
Key topics and timing:
00:01 - Intro
01.00 - What the body can tell us. Feet and movement can show up all sorts of things.
06:50 - Posture is very telling. What does your posture say about you?
09:45 How to deal with ‘issues’ held in the body
17:05 - Victoria explains how trauma expresses in the body. Looking at this from a systematic approach and what can be done to aid the process of healing.
22:47 - I continue on from Victoria about trauma and share my perspective . Getting back control is a vital part of processing. Our story is a key part of our identity and that needs to be considered.
29:29 - Peri-menopause and menopause. How biology = psychology and what you can consider if you are at this stage.
36:35 - Breathing and why it matters plus Victoria’s process plus my approach to working with breathing for health and mental wellbeing.
46:00 - Why relaxing the tongue helps release the jaw. This has a huge effect on breathing and emotional state. Victoria gets us to think about the timing and movement we can be aware of when breathing well.
49:44 - Summary of the themes. How thinking systemically can help with all kinds of issues from pain, trauma, lack of confidence or anxiety.
“Suffering is being stuck. Being free is movement; whether that’s physical movement, breath movement or mind movement”
For more information about me, please go to my website: https://saljefferies.com. For more information about Victoria and her work please go to: https://ixcheltherapies.co.uk
New Year Resolutions - Knowing what, why and how to make lasting and positive change
New Year resolutions brings out different thoughts and feelings for many of us. They can be fun and effective but easy to break. If you want to make lasting, positive change then there are several steps which will ensure you will meet your goals in a healthy way.
In this episode, I share three steps that are fundamental to take when making any goals and outcomes.
Step 1. What do you really want? You need to clearly define what it is you want, what it feels like, what the specific details are to avoid ambiguity.
Step 2. Why do you want to do this? You need to develop a compelling reason combined with your motive or drive to ensure that you can achieve your goal
Step 3. How are you going to do this? By combining decision, commitment and structure you will have a much clearer and easier process to follow.
Finally, you need to give this time, lots of time if it's going to be worthwhile and sustainble.
Do you share your thoughts, comments and questions with me as I always love to help. You can reach me at my website; www.saljefferies.com or on Linkedin and Instagram - @saljefferies
How to stop excessive worrying.
Do you find yourself worrying excessively?
Has the pandemic and the ongoing fall out caused you to spend way more time worrying and it's becoming unhealthy?
In this podcast episode, I cover this topic and share insights and practical knowledge of why we worry, how to change the habit of excessive worrying and how to access deep inner strength.
I cover specific areas including:
💡 What the purpose of worry is.
💡 How worrying can become a habits and how to break that habit.
💡 Catastrophizing and a strategy of applying a non-attachment.
If this triggers something for you, do reach out as I specialise in helping smart people who overthink get a wider perspective, find courage and apply that in business and life.
Do you share your thoughts, comments and questions with me as I always love to continue the dialogue. You can reach me at my website; www.saljefferies.com or on Linkedin and Instagram - @saljefferies
Ways to overcome stress - how to calm your mind when the thoughts keep spinning
Do you replay the conversations you had through the day? Perhaps you even start mentally rehearsing what you'll say/do tomorrow - and that can be exhausting!
Having a busy mind full of racing thoughts is unpleasant and a major cause of stress. Incessant thinking and negative thoughts can feel overwhelming and difficult to control. In my latest podcast episode, I share some helpful strategies of how to take control of the mind when it's become too busy.
Three strategies I cover in more depth are:
1. Breathing and state - consciously control in the breath directly changes your neurological state and emotional state.
2. Create space between things - having no space for your mind to process things is not helpful. Putting in small breaks between work, meetings, activities is helpful.
3. Control the inner noise - turn down the volume and then move your attention to external sources.
Please send me your experience and if these help you or you'd like to understand more. I'm always happy to continue the conversation and answer questions as this is a big topic with much more to explain.
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
Overcome stress - feeling overwhelmed? maybe you need better boundaries.
One major cause of stress is overwhelm. When you've taken on too much and it's taking it's toll. In this episode, we cover this topic, how boundaries are vital and ho to put them into place.
A boundary can be defined by asking 'what’s OK and what's not OK'? and often saying YES when it’s better to say NO. There can be emotional, psychological and physical boundaries - time, financial, workload etc
Listen now to learn more and get some further strategies to help you reduce overwhelm and reduce stress.
Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation (well this is an episode about good listening!)
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
Overcome stress - when things don't work out as we want
Ways to overcome stress - the desire for things to work out as we’ve planned but then don't can cause a whole host of stress.
In this episode , I cover 'why' this might be causing you a stress and what identifying the difference between control, influence & acceptance can do to help.
The 3 questions to ask are:
Where are you in control?
How could you influence the situation?
Where & when are not in control ?(concern)
How can you accept the situation?
Do you worry what others think of you? How to overcome this negative thinking habit.
Do you worry what others think of you? If so, this episode or unravel some of the reasons why you may have this thinking habit and the steps you can take to change this. This annoying habit can happen to anyone and is an energy drain and simply unhelpful way of thinking.
Stages to overcome this repeating pattern.
- Remember we are social species - we are part of a group and it matters that we feel accepted and part of the group. You can challenge your worry at this stage by checking if your concerns are substantiated - eg, have you done anything obvious to upset the group? If not, then this can help loosen the worry
- What’s the deeper fear underneath the worry? The fear needs to be seen for what it is so you can address it. Eg, if it’s about lack of self confidence, then the ‘worry’ is showing up to highlight this, maybe to keep you safe but it’s a golden opportunity to address the root fear and transcend it into change.
- Where’s you point of control? Are you giving your power away by allowing the opinion of others to deeply affect you? You may want to bring your centre of control back; to yourself. If you show up with respect, courtesy, values, attention, kindness etc then you will know you’ve got a much stronger internal reference point and you’ll be less affected by the worry pattern.
- Become discerning where you place your attention - who do you listen to, who’s feedback is valuable is who isn’t worth giving time and attention too will significantly help you. Listen to who truly matters, ignore those who don’t!
- Final golden nugget - listen to the podcast to hear this to one.
Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation as it's a big topic with much more to explain.
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
Choice, consciousness and impact - Looking at 3 levels of choice
How do we make choices that suit us, others and the environment? In this episode I share a personal journey about changing what I eat and how I used a specific process make that choice.
The difference between conscious choice (discernment, consideration for others, clear facts to assess) vs unconscious choice which includes habits, societal norms, outdated beliefs, misinformation is an important area to get in to. We make choices every day and they affect us, others and the world around us.
My model of making considered choices:
1. How does this affect me.
2. How dies this affect another
3. How does this affect the environment
This process is something I've applied to choosing a plant-based diet and to business. It's an expansive and inclusive way of thinking about choices work and reciprocity - how things come back to affect us.
My views on food and nutrition feel right for me and I use it as an example that is relevant to my health and how I think about the environment. Each of us need to make our own choices and my intention is to highlight the process which may help you, whether that is for health, personal or business. The meta model can be very useful to open up possibilities and learning so all choices are more conscious.
Panic buying and irrational behaviour - why do we do it?
In this episode, we will be covering the topic of panic buying and why we might do it. I explain the difference between the rational mind and the emotional mind how we can be triggered into certain irrational behaviour. There are deep rooted reasons for this behaviour and it's important to know how and why this happens. If you get triggered, it’s normal but not necessarily helpful and I share some important understandings that can help. If this is an issue you have been affected by, I share a practical process for how to overcome irrational thinking at the end of the podcast so you can get back in control of your emotions.
Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation as it's a big topic with much more to explain.
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
How to overcome anxiety, stress and fear using breathing.
Do you experience anxiety, stress and fear? Want to learn how breathing can affect your nervous system and get in control of how you feel?
In this episode , I explain the following:
- How breathing can change our emotional state.
- What the 3 levels of the autonomic nervous system do (flow, fight/flight, shutdown)
- How to change the story you might be telling yourself for something more liberating.
In the final part, I take you through a simple but effective practice to get control of your state and feel in control and safe.
Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation as it's a big topic with much more to explain.
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
If you want to be heard, listening is the key
Listening well can open up wonderful conversations and create connection between people. Sometimes, we might not listen as well as we could and other times we are simply not being heard by the other person. In this podcast, I share my experience about levels of listening and a simple strategy to become a better listener.
Here is a playful description from poor listening skills through to the most wonderful:
- “My broadcast”. Making statements and it’s all about the speaker
- “It’s still about me “- will use any trigger to bring the conversation back to them but has some space in there broadcast
- “I know best” - Listening to give advice (often without permission)
- “I’ll give you 5mins of airtime “ - starting to be able to listen but the speaker is still needing most of the airtime.
- “Hear and be heard” - the speaker and other are in balance and there’s genuine interest from both sides (Think on your feet and flow with the dance and rhythm. (Distinction is asking questions and being present).
- Deeply listens... here’s beneath the words, hears the truth and listens with whole body from not actually listening
Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation (well this is an episode about good listening!)
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
Why do we stay stuck?
Why do we stay stuck in life or business? Sometimes I can seem as if there are so many options it's overwhelming. Other times we stay stuck and even though it can seem counterintuitive, for some reason we just keep repeating the same old thing. In this episode, I explain how the mind has patterns and thinking (or cognitive) biases. Anytime we are stuck in life, there's a high chance that 'status quo bias' is at play.
My aim is to give you bite-size understanding of this topic and something that you can do immediately. In the last part, I give an exercise that you can do to help you get unstuck and find out the underlying themes and beliefs you have. Do send me your comments and thoughts as I'm always happy to continue the conversation.
Contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com or @saljefferies on Instagram and LinkedIn
Demystifying Imposter Syndrome
Do you have a nagging feeling that whatever you do, some day you’ll be found out that you’re not quite good enough? Do you work hard but fear that it’s never quite enough? Do you wish you were more confident?
If so, then you’re likely to be experiencing ‘Imposter Syndrome’.
When your confidence is lower than your competence, this it when imposter syndrome strikes. Fortunately, this condition can be overcome by a change in mindset and being conscious of your 'state'. When you understand your beliefs and concerns, you can reset the balance of confidence + competence.
In this episode, I aim to demystify some of the common beliefs about this condition and explain some simple and practical ways you can start to overcome the limits that imposter syndrome might be putting on you. If you have further thoughts or questions on this topic, please reach out.
You can contact me via email: sal@saljefferies.com > instagram @saljefferies > LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saljefferies
How to find what really matters to you
In this episode, and explain how to use self awareness to find out what really matters to you. When you are clear on the things that give you the deepest and most fulfilling feelings and it's easier to navigate your way through life. I refer to this as building your 'inner compass'.
In my work as a mindset coach, contemporary psychotherapist, yoga teacher and Breathwork teacher, I find the integrated approach to change is becoming ever more important in the age of the pandemic and the need for connecting to what is natural, human and conscious within each of us.
How to change mindset by developing self awareness
In this episode, and share my thinking around the need for self awareness of both body and mind so that we can change habits, behaviours and mindset. In my work as a mindset coach, contemporary psychotherapist, yoga teacher and Breathwork teacher, I find the integrated approach to change is becoming ever more important in the age of the pandemic and the need for connecting to what is natural, human and conscious within each of us.
The hopes & fears of coming out of lockdown - June 2021
This podcast is mindset/psychology based talk I hosted about some of the concerns and fears about coming out of lockdown and what the future might hold. Using psychology and human behaviour, I aim to address the following:
- Feeling nervous around groups of people.
- Uncertainty about work / business when the restrictions change.
- Returning to an office environment and no longer remote working.
- Wanting to feel ‘back to normal’ is a common and understandable feeling but is unhelpful.
The 4 changes we need to deal with this challenges are:
- Swapping false hope for optimistic action.
- Shift the fear of what might happen to trust in your ability to deal what comes.
- Instead of wanting to get ‘back to normal’, accepting life has changed but offers opportunity.
- Rather than wanting to be safe learn to be secure in yourself and your actions.
I hope you get some insights to take forward and put into action.
How to move from anxiety to adaptation in the crisis.
I will take the listener through the 3 significant stages we are likely to experience as we change, evolve and grow and it’ll be great if you came along.
There is opportunity for all of us to reshape our lives and businesses and when we understand and learn how to move through these stages, we are likely to create a future where we create something new, innovative and impactful.
The 3 stages of crisis evolution are:
Anxiety - It is a normal response to be anxious in a time of crisis.
Acceptance - The next stage is acceptance; acceptance of the facts, the situation, the change, the pain and then being with these thoughts and feelings.
Adaptation - This is a dynamic period of creation, it’s movement, action and likely to be a new world view.
We will look at the process of adaptation and bring innovative thinking to the adaptation process.
The uncomfortable but liberating power of being ‘called out’
Thoughts about mental health.
Men. What is true strength?
We need a better description and conversation around how men often see themselves and a better understanding of shame or misinterpretation. If you have beliefs that mean you can’t reach out, you can’t be heard and more importantly that you think you are weak and useless then these beliefs new to be challenged.
Strength is dealing with hurt, damage, pain and not an out dated notion of ‘a man’ and whatever that looks like.
The courage to feel uncomfortable and the strength to say the truth
In this podcast (12mins length), I talk about speaking the truth with examples from my coaching work and an effective strategy to make the changes so you can be OK with discomfort and become strong and authentic when dealing with difficult conversations in your relationship(s).