INFP Thrive for Enneagram 9s

For several years I've been interviewing women like myself who packed up everything to start a new adventure in another part of the world.

One of the core values that I talk about is that we will never have this day again -- make it matter. It's my softer way of saying 'If you died tomorrow, would you be satisfied with how you lived this day?'

I knew I didn't invent this way of thinking but I didn't realize that Stoics have been talking about this for thousands of years until I learned about the greatest philosopher king, Marcus Aurelius, who ruled until 180 A.D.

He said, “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” (Greg Hays translation).

[UPDATE: I've since changed the name of my newest podcast to LIVE Without Borders, merging it with my original travel and wellbeing podcast. The purpose: Freedom is about more than getting on a plane. It’s about becoming the most heroic version of yourself. I want to help you live your best life without literal or self-imposed borders.]

Why hello there. The holiday season has just about come to an end, but I hope you are still finding time to relax this weekend.

If you’re looking for something to listen to, I wanted to let you know about my new personal transformation podcast, Part of Something Greater, a show for peacefully ambitious people who are ready for more peace, happiness, and connection in their life.

I’ll be talking a lot about raising self awareness through Stoicism and the Enneagram and while all 9 types can benefit from this show, I think it will be especially helpful for you, and you are who I had in mind when I created it.

I’m sharing one of the first few episodes of Part of Something Greater here. If you like it, you can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you love it, please share it with a friend and consider leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.

Alright, enjoy this episode and I hope your 2021 is off to a beautiful beginning.

What do you do when someone takes advantage of you or tells YOU how YOU'RE feeling? You might want to cozy up in bed with a pillow on your head. But advocating for yourself and tackling the problem head on will make you feel better. You deserve to be your biggest advocate :)

Xo Sarah

Are you treating yourself as well as you treat your best friend?

The next time you find yourself holding back when you want to ask for help, consider how you'd respond if a friend asked the same of you.

Xo Sarah

Do you feel like you matter?

When I first learned about the Enneagram, I resonated with almost everything there was to say about 9s, except the idea that we think we're not important, that we don't matter.

"That doesn't resonate with me. Of course I matter," I thought. 

But this weekend I've been reflecting on how I've actually lived my life and had some real moments of clarity that might help you, too.

Xo Sarah Mikutel

Last year around this time, I went to the beach with my mom. She was flipping through Real Simple magazine, which is our favorite beach read, and one of the articles posed this question:

“What book has had the greatest impact on your life?”

I immediately knew that the book that changed my life the most was Mindset by Carol Dweck, who is a psychologist, Stamford professor, and one of the world's leading researchers on motivation.

You heard me reference this book in the last episode.

Mindset is all about the power of believing that we can improve and the foundation of this book is that we all have either a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

People with a growth mindset love to learn. They’re up for a challenge and know they’ll get better at something the more they work at it. They like to stretch themselves and experience new things and are open to feedback.

People with a fixed mindset think they’re born with certain abilities. They don’t want to try new things because they worry they won’t be good at them. They’re afraid to fail or that people will judge them.

Most of us have a fixed mindset! I know I did before reading this book.

But here’s the thing…you can actually change your mindset and become more open to growth and trying new things.

This is such an important message that I want to share Carol Dweck’s short Ted Talk from 2014. I hope you enjoy it.

Xo Sarah

Are you having a hard time getting things done?

Maybe you’re a daydreamer. Maybe something is going on with your family. Maybe you’re devastated at the state of the world. Maybe you’re happy and hopeful and jumping around from thing to thing because you’re so excited. Maybe you have ADHD like today’s guest.

Are you overthinking something right now and can’t seem to move forward? 

I have a simple yet very powerful mindset mantra that will get you moving in the right direction: "Let Future You take care of it."

Whoah! So simple yet such a powerful mindset shift. 

I heard this idea from one of my online business mentors, Elizabeth Goddard. Here's what she means by 'let future you take care of it': Have faith that Future You will have the experience and the context to make the right decisions.

So often we tie ourselves in knots about whether we should try this or that. Should I start a podcast? Should I move to Paris?

But Present You can't know the answers because you don't have the experience of trying yet.

The job of Present You is to try, experiment, and play. To take action on something now and let Future You decide if it's working, if you love it, or if you want to try something else.

Future You has more information and, therefore, more answers. Yes, Present You will help out Future You by putting in effort and doing the work. But save your worries and ‘what ifs’ for Future You to figure out.

The job for Present You is to make a decision and take the next step.

So what's your next step? What are you excited about and what's one thing you can do to move it forward? 

Xo Sarah

Do you ever feel like you're a workaholic who never gets anything done? I felt like this for so long.

When I started my own business, I really, really struggled with moving forward and taking action. I got stuck in rabbit holes and analysis paralysis and spent so many days and nights, including weekends when I could have been seeing my friends, staying home because I had to work.

But then I would look at the clock. The entire day had passed and I couldn't point to anything that I had done that was super productive. And yet I felt burned out and like I had been working the whole time.  I thought, okay, I know what the problem is, but I don't know how to pull myself out of this.

Today I’m sharing a podcast episode I did with my friend Caitlin Hawekotte, who is an MBTI® Certified Practitioner, which means that she administers and interprets the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® assessment to help people discover more about their personality types and preferences. I actually shared this episode on both of my other podcasts because I loved it so much and I thought you might get a lot out of it, as well.

Learning how people think about and process our world, especially those who are NOT our personality type, has had a profound effect on my life, in a very positive way, and we get into that in our conversation.

As you might already know, assessments like Myers Briggs make us more compassionate because we learn how we all see the world through a different lens. We start taking things less personally because we realize that people have diverse ways of learning and working, different ranges of how much alone time we need, different ways of organizing ourselves (or not).

Hello from lock down in the UK. I’m sending you a big virtual hug wherever you are waiting out the COVID-19 coronavirus.

Do you feel like you’re the only one not losing your mind grapes right now? Or maybe you were feeling really calm, but easing the anxiety of others is weighing on you and now you’re freaking out? I imagine we’ll feel a range of emotions while sheltering at home.

As Enneagram 9s, our go-to feeling is calm, and the world needs this energy. Now is our time to step up as leaders.

When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade. We ask why things happen ‘for’ us instead of asking why things happen ‘to’ us.

New to Myers Briggs and the Enneagram? I am. I’ve been digging in deeper with both these assessments this year, especially the Enneagram, and I’m obsessed!

I believe personal development is essential to living a happy, meaningful life and that we should explore tools not only to understand ourselves better, but also those around us.

In this episode, I share definitions of the INFP personality type from 16Personalities, and of the 9 Type from the Enneagram Institute.

Resources

As INFP Enneagram 9s, we don’t always love putting ourselves out there publicly, but that doesn’t mean we’re not dream chasers.

On this episode, I share how I, as an American, achieved my dream of living abroad. It all started with me scrubbing bathtubs as a chambermaid in England, where I lived in a converted stable. Humbling for sure, but an experience I wouldn’t trade for the world.

I also get into three big life lessons that I’ve learned as an expat/entrepreneur that can apply to anyone looking to achieve more in life.

***

I’m Sarah Mikutel, a fellow INFP Enneagram 9, and I know that even though we’re super laid back, accommodating, and sometimes indecisive, that doesn’t mean that we don’t have our own ambitions.

To achieve them, we have to get more comfortable sharing our voice with the world and putting ourselves out there.