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Shart Select

Shart Select

By Shart Select

Shart Select is an offbeat comedy podcast hosted by podcastings most handsome man, Ryan, and is two homunculi, Stu and Winst0lf. Join them in the bizarre world of the wizardverse as they put the world to rights, have adventures with weird characters and, of course, pester amazing guests!
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Farewell, Shart Select!

Shart SelectApr 18, 2022

00:00
01:13:33
Stu-ooth Criminal

Stu-ooth Criminal

This week the boys have quite a lot to discuss, such as where they would position in a human centipede, how many people would you have to 1v1 to be the last human standing and Stu has some incontrovertible proof that the Mandela Effect is real. O3O nuzzle wuzzle!

May 22, 202301:06:11
Freedom Fingers

Freedom Fingers

Get ready for a wild ride as the lads delve into a mysterious and cursed grimoire that details the tastiest and grossest eats from across the fair British Isles. Spoiler alert: they don't hold back on their opinions, and things get pretty heated! But that's not all, folks! They also explore the fascinating phenomenon of "Mandela Effects," where people remember things that never even happened. And hold onto your seats, because The Beef gets booed off stage! Don't miss out on this hilarious and informative episode!

Feb 27, 202301:01:21
4: The Tragic End of Cheddar George

4: The Tragic End of Cheddar George

This week the boys get a stern telling off from the Wizards for talking about the MCU too much, so they move on to knock off heroes instead after Ryan's trip to Loldi. They also discuss the recipe for the perfect action movie and a beloved podcast character meets an untimely end, lucky Master Phenrig has a plan to hide the corpse!

Aug 29, 202252:33
3: Annika Mice and the Spunky Gargoyle Menace

3: Annika Mice and the Spunky Gargoyle Menace

This week the boys talk about all kinds of hot content, like who is the sexiest cartoon character, how the Godzilla movies changed their tone dramatically, what the funk is going on with superhero movies these days, what’s the latest shit going on in Warzone and, for some reason, Stu and Ryan go off about sexy fruit. Yep, that’s a thing.

Aug 21, 202255:11
2: The Absolute Unit

2: The Absolute Unit

In this hot episode, the boys deliver some hot real talk to you, the listener! Including the British version of everyone's favourite green, angry bloke and what Captain America really thinks of his superiors. In fact they go on about the MCU a lot, the bloody nerds!

Aug 04, 202201:06:09
1: The Drinking Shaft

1: The Drinking Shaft

Welcome to Kidnapped by Wizards, the hot new comedy podcast from the three tools that brought you Shart Select! To get the ball rolling, the boys talk about beloved internet questions and where they fall in these mythical debates, which MCU movie is the worst and why it is Dark World, the ongoing misadventures of Ross Kemp and we also delve into the seedy underbelly of the confectionary scene by discussing Is It Cake. Additionally, we will tell you why Ghostbusters 2 is the best movie ever made…

Aug 03, 202201:01:38
Farewell, Shart Select!
Apr 18, 202201:13:33
The Bonanza Bros.
Apr 11, 202241:01
Stay kayfabe, Stu!
Apr 04, 202201:07:19
Who the f**k is Frank Goof?
Mar 28, 202201:08:36
I'm Darth DhogDirk!
Mar 21, 202259:11
Get Off Those Skeleton Nuts!
Mar 14, 202201:07:13
The Slow Thrust Ottoman Empire
Mar 07, 202255:54
Shart Select Season 8 Trailer
Mar 06, 202203:24
All Monster, No Sponsorship (Yet?)
Feb 28, 202201:10:39
All Apple, No Crumble (Part One) - Sponsored by Monster Energy(?)
Feb 21, 202201:03:41
Thicc Bois and Choccy Veins
Feb 14, 202201:05:11
Wabbit Season!!! Adonis Season!!!
Feb 07, 202201:01:53
Jack Skellington's Dirty Little Secret
Jan 31, 202201:08:40
Dat Thicc Gammorean Bussy
Jan 24, 202201:02:56
12 Days of Shartmas - 12 Lumbers Jacking

12 Days of Shartmas - 12 Lumbers Jacking

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
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Dec 25, 202128:55
12 Days of Shartmas - 11 Grapes a Frutin

12 Days of Shartmas - 11 Grapes a Frutin

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
Join The Discord
Join the Patreon
Dec 21, 202117:15
12 Days of Shartmas -10 Timbs a Stompin
Dec 19, 202118:19
12 Days of Shartmas - 9 Dripping Trays
Dec 17, 202117:38
12 Days of Shartmas - 8 Men a Milking

12 Days of Shartmas - 8 Men a Milking

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
Join The Discord
Join the Patreon
Dec 15, 202116:52
12 Days of Shartmas - 7 Trips to Poundland

12 Days of Shartmas - 7 Trips to Poundland

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
Join The Discord
Join the Patreon
Dec 13, 202114:36
12 Days of Shartmas - 6 Monster Drinks
Dec 11, 202115:11
12 Days of Shartmas - 5 C*ck Rings
Dec 09, 202116:12
12 Days of Shartmas - 4 Tractors Pulling
Dec 07, 202109:59
12 Days of Shartmas - 3 Hench Men

12 Days of Shartmas - 3 Hench Men

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
Dec 05, 202112:32
12 Days of Shartmas - 2 Greedy Nigels

12 Days of Shartmas - 2 Greedy Nigels

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!

Dec 03, 202112:01
12 Days of Shartmas - And the wizards in a tower!

12 Days of Shartmas - And the wizards in a tower!

Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
Dec 01, 202111:37
The Milkadook and Other Such Bulls**t

The Milkadook and Other Such Bulls**t

Craig rejoins the boys after suffering a suspect back injury this week, and much is discussed, including Stu's fear of the milkman, the fact we got noticed by Poundland (the high street store, not the nightclub) and, thanks to listener ItemshopDX, are prompted to discuss all kinds of bulls**t. They might also have wound up PIXI and Grief Burrito again, but they love them really… go listen!

Nov 29, 202101:19:35
Ross is the Best Friend, Don't @ Me

Ross is the Best Friend, Don't @ Me

This week the boys are back in session after an unexpected detention ruins their plans. In this hot slice of podcastery they discuss the sexiest Man alive (Ryan), the worst police pursuit vehicles, Ryan is now the Fast and the Furious and, to everyone's joy, Professor Ryance returns! Also, Craig was voted to be the best Friend, Ross Gellar! Thanks everyone!

Nov 15, 202101:21:47
No You're Ross Gellar!

No You're Ross Gellar!

This week the boys discuss many important things on the pod, such as the fact that Supercar Nigel is more famous than them, the Switch getting games from a hot new console, they fish for some hot new sponsors and, in what turns out to be a very heated battle, discuss which character from Friends they most represent! Also discussed are healthy yet inventive kinks and, for some reason, a snails anus (snanus). Could it BE any more exciting?

Nov 01, 202101:07:19
Ryan and the Red Ring of Death

Ryan and the Red Ring of Death

This week the boys are joined by Steph to discuss the levels of anger, the worst place to "Hulk Out", and the difference between PlayStation and Xbox gamers. We also visit the Wizards and Professor Imgonnacumm, who has been summoned by a mysterious figure, they're INSIDE THE ROOM!

Oct 27, 202101:21:24
Return to Cockwarts

Return to Cockwarts

The boys are all at odds this week, as the wizards have thrust them straight into recording an episode after returning to Cockwarts! This week they discuss all of the world’s most pressing concerns, such as the really expensive Fortnite clothes, what their Chaser names would be, our real feelings on Bonfire Night, just what is the “Sad Little Train” (choo choo) and you better believe that the wizards manage to summon not one but TWO Supercar Nigels, oh the hilarity!
Oct 17, 202157:35
The Little Game That Could

The Little Game That Could

In this week's episode the Wizards push their luck a little too far in their quest for the ultimate gains, resulting in the boys being stranded and, of course, having to record another cursed episode. Why not pass the time with them as they show IGN how to really work out the greatest game of all time? Will it be Kratos, The god of war? The last of us? Mass Effect? Red dead redemption or GTA 5 ? And of you're hungry afterwards then an internet celebrity is here to help!
Oct 11, 202101:16:44
The Greatest Biscuit of All Time?

The Greatest Biscuit of All Time?

Disaster strikes this week, as the hosts of Grief Burrito and PIXI Podcast kidnap Stu, following last week's controversial episode! In his (hopefully not permanent) absence, Craig and Ryan tackle a seriously thorny subject… what IS the best biscuit? It's full of facts, information and, yes, biscuit ASMR.

Sep 27, 202101:14:11
The Greatest Game of all Time?

The Greatest Game of all Time?

This week the boys take a look at a somewhat controversial game tiering list from that bastion of gaming integrity, IGN, which definitely hasn’t missed out some classic games to fit their own narrative, oh no!. They also look into the secret Terminator subplot of Coronation Street, what those fucking meerkats have been up to, and the Fight Club-esque Go Compare man theory. It’s good soup!

Sep 20, 202101:17:52
Cheddar George

Cheddar George

This week the boys accidentally summon an avatar of cheese whilst discussing Logan Paul's simp, Copper Cab being a shill, Stu's thoughts on hand sanitiser, Craig's drag name, a time traveller from a distant era and Ryan's hot thirst trap photo. We are definitely not that guy!

Sep 13, 202101:09:47
Be a Man!

Be a Man!

Whaaaat Stu's back? Didn't he leave to make his own podcast about online shooters? Anyway, this week the boys talk about all kinds of weird and wonderful things, including that bloody “be a man” thing he was on about when it all went wrong! We also look the Uruk Hai’s side hustle in sex toys, discuss which podcast hosts would most likely be the Ghostface Killer in a Scream movie,  and Stu drops a rather controversial opinion about a certain ghostly holiday! Why not drop in and see what bloody nonsense is going on, eh? Go on, do it!

Sep 06, 202101:20:16
Just to Call Back…

Just to Call Back…

In this week's hawt slice of podcastery, we are joined by Grief Burrito's Most Beautiful Boy (sorry Jordan) Mr Harrison Wild! We talk about Jurassic Park, paragliding with famous movie stars, the new Gremlins 3 plot, and what is the best game soundtrack (again!) So pull up a pew and let's see what's going down!

Aug 31, 202101:05:43
Go Go Tower Rangers

Go Go Tower Rangers

This week the boys delve into Ryan's weird noir detective dream, a strange visit to a battery powered pharmacy, the social distance skeleton, and what are the rent prices like in Gotham City? We also cast suspicion over Bull and Skillo from the Power Rangers and you won't believe the amazing content Stu saves for the end!

Aug 16, 202101:05:49
The Wizard Olympics

The Wizard Olympics

Join us for another hot episode, in which we discuss the most important wizarding event on the calendar, how shit Castle Greyskull is, annoying chummy tires and what happened when Jeff Bezos arrived at the Wizard's space station! It's a rollicking good lark!

Aug 09, 202153:51
Jabba the Buff

Jabba the Buff

What happens when it's really bloody hot, and the boys haven't drank enough water before recording? The answer: a load of old cobblers! We visit the Star Wars gym, talk about the inventors of the screwdriver, the horrors of loyalty free music, Facebook cringe and, of course, we reveal Craig's ongoing love of Timbs…

Aug 02, 202101:05:02
A Traffic Jam of Owen Wilsons

A Traffic Jam of Owen Wilsons

On this exciting edition, the boys talk about a new take on The Lion King, new characters for Beauty and the Beast, and why does that woman on the job advert act so bloody stupid all the time? Also, how do you effectively embellish a good old fashioned fart? Why not have a listen and find out?

Jul 26, 202101:14:02
Chilli Oillllll!!!

Chilli Oillllll!!!

This week the boys get very cross about TikTok food idiots and daytime TV, and wonder if J Jonah Jameson lusts after… very specific photos of the Spider-Man. Also, the truth about David Dickinson is discovered and we learn a horrifying truth about Johnny Five. Also, Ryan educates is about those ghost twin blokes from the Matrix!

Jul 19, 202101:11:02
Ryan's Condiment Corner

Ryan's Condiment Corner

In this dollop of goodness, we discuss the phallacy of fanboys, the inventor of the double decker bus and, of course, Ryan takes us down to the Condiment Corner, where we discuss the Sauce Readily Available rating of god's finest condiments. Why not splurge us all over your dinner?

Jul 13, 202101:15:47
The Lipstick Expose

The Lipstick Expose

Ryan's out in space with Gagrid this week leaving Craig and Stu unsupervised, and so a lot of strange talk is had. Join us to learn about which famous people have a dog's appendage, which mascots would be in the Avengers and five into the world of Bigfoot Fursonas with Jeff and Clifford...

Jul 05, 202101:09:09