The Short News Podcast
By Alex Madore
The Short News PodcastMar 11, 2021
Lovato vs Froyo: Dawn of Social Justice
Demi Lovato had a meltdown over the placement of inventory in a yogurt shop, there's a lot to say about that.
Alex considers what fun things to do now that he's fully immune.
The verdict is in on the Derek Chauvin trial, but issues with police continue in the US.
Ben Shapiro and Ted Cruz get roasted.
A Karen tries to fight someone and The Short News Podcast is here to make fun of them.
Ted Cruz and the Terrible Take
There was a big boxing match this weekend between an old washed-up dad and a dude that dads everywhere protect their daughters from, and Alex slept through the main event, but has some things to say about it anyways, because that was so disappointing in so many ways.
White boy summer is coming up, and Chet Hanks is working extra hard on his Jamaican accent.
Ted Cruz makes sure everyone knows that he has no idea what human rights is, and Alex makes fun of him for a condition that cannot either be confirmed or denied.
Special musical guest Alex Madore joins Alex Madore for a performance of a new song.
Thou Wenches art not Loyal (Part 2)
A certain "fighter" influencer is claiming he did nothing wrong, and is threatening to sue the tiktok star who has come out with allegations against him. Joe Rogan is still being a thumb on steroids and is in hot water for body shaming a well-known OnlyFans star/podcaster. Alex tells a story about a hairdresser his family would go to who ended up stealing money from everyone in town. He also talks about the mafia documentary he's been watching, don't tell Fat Tony.
"Joe Rogan is a Thumb on Steroids.”
Matt Gaetz is also on his way to being cancelled. Ted Cruz is being a little baby about some infrastructure spending.
Karens are still refusing to put on their masks.
Alex gets mad at Joe Rogan seemingly out of nowhere.
James Charles and the Terrible Apology
Alex is feeling good after the second dose of the vaccine, and has a lot to say to the people who are spreading lies about it. He then does a deep dive into the James Charles situation and how he got caught in 4K being extremely honest about some bad things. Ted Cruz gets roasted as always, and Alex defends Khloe Kardashian from angry fans.
Influencers Twerking in Jail & Legal Weed
It's been a good break, but the podcast is back and better than ever. Alex doubles down on what he said last episode about the James Charles allegations, and makes some prison jokes along the way.
After being forced to watch telenovelas against his will by his partner, Alex has learned a lot of interesting things about how women view the world compared to men, and tells men what they definitely don't want to hear: "Do better."
Cannabis is now legal in the state of New York, so there's that to celebrate, and a roast of Ted Cruz of course.
Making James Charles Fans Angry
Over the weekend Alex started a feud with some James Charles fans over some gross events that have taken place in the last couple of weeks. He recaps what happened there and roasts the whole fanbase. It's okay though, James probably won't hear this since he's only interested in kids.
Alex learns more about the crisis at the border from an unlikely person.
The Fake Commercial Episode
A good old trip down memory lane to the fake commercials from the lost episodes of the podcast.
Extreme Podcasting while Neighbors Fight in the Background
Alex gives an update on his NFT project, talks about the recent shooting in Colorado and discusses why gun control is important, while roasting Ted Cruz once again in the process.
Alex Gets "Rich" off NBA Top Shot
It's been a crazy weekend, NBA Top Shot had a release on Friday afternoon of new packs and Alex made a hefty sum of money that day. Only problem is he is unable to withdraw the winnings until further notice, and has a rant prepared for that.
There's a lot of issues with hate crimes against Asian Americans, and it's important to discuss those so there is a segment of the show devoted to that, followed by another roast of Ted Cruz who seems to think no one should be allowed to immigrate to America. Then "Keeping up with the Karens," as always, followed by some relationship advice. This episode is all over the place.
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Alex Gets Vaccinated
Alex discusses the process he went through yesterday when getting the vaccine, and explains what MRNA is and what it does to put those paranoid minds at ease. NFTs are still a huge deal and he's already purchased a bunch of them and needs to tell the listeners all about them. Alex's professor loses it at him over email. Ted Cruz has some words for anyone who wants to come to the US to seek a better life. A lady in target refuses to put on a mask and makes a whole scene out of it, and she's about to get roasted.
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NFTs (GONE SEXUAL)
Azealia Banks made an NFT audio sex tape, and somehow it's worth more than some countries' governments. Alex invests in a new NFT (No not the Azealia Banks one), and discusses the process of buying one as a not-rich person. Certain politicians have some complaints about giving struggling Americans financial assistance and Alex has some complaints about said politicians. Don Jr. has some words for the American people while shredding the slopes out West. Ted Cruz is still terrible. Alex takes a look at the Karens of the week in "Keeping up with the Karens," and gives some relationship advice to a young lady whose boyfriend gave her some pretty terrible advice after she got catcalled on the street.
Get the "Karen Repellant" face mask on the official TSNP Store: https://my-store-11508079.creator-spring.com/
90 Day Fiancé Has Gone Too Far
Alex has taken an interest in NASCAR (Jeff Gordon will always be a legend) and UFC, and talks about watching full MMA fights for the first time. 90 Day Fiancé's new season has taken a turn for the worst for Stephanie and the TLC camera crew hasn't done anything to help her out. Ted Cruz made a very fired up speech at CPAC and Alex hasn't seen it yet, so this should be interesting. A guy on reddit has a really uncomfortable situation involving his girlfriend and her friend "Todd" who's also in love with her, so I guess he needs a little bit of help. Screw Todd, whoever he is.
Buy yourself some Karen Repellant masks, a "Big Al" mug or a water bottle https://my-store-11508079.creator-spring.com
Andrew Cuomo's Nipple Tape and Ted Cruz's Name Isn't Ted
Today's episode covers a lot of topics, including the NFT market, mental health and OCD, as well as some more roasts of politicians, including Andrew Cuomo and his chafing nipples and Rafael "Ted" Cruz who looks like The Penguin from Batman but much less interesting.
Get the 1/1 Suzie the Cat Waving NFT here: https://app.rarible.com/token/0xd07dc4262bcdbf85190c01c996b4c06a461d2430:213308:0xa90f75194a3e86a899ff64d57102fec949523e59
Karen Freakout Video Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vJQ3YJnxWE
Ted Cruz but as an NFT (NFTed)
Alex shares some great news for the podcast, and finds a way to diss every single person who didn't believe in him in his life, while teaching some life lessons about bad friends.
He also shares some thoughts on his fear of needles and how to potentially get over it prior to getting the vaccine, now that a bunch of them are approved.
There's a lot shaking up in Texas right now, you know, with them opening everything up as though there isn't a pandemic going on, and Ted Cruz is there to make it much worse. Alex has a good time roasting his most recent appearance on a certain "news" network.
The Crypto Rush & Return of the Trump
Alex talks about how insane the crypto and NFT market has gotten over the last couple of weeks, and really just talks way too much about Cryptokitties. Also there was some Republican Comic-Con type thing over the weekend that needs to be discussed, Orange Frog Face was there and had a lot to say about the current state of the country. Alex tells a story about trying to buy drugs back in college gone wrong, and makes fun of the newest Karens of the week.
Alex Needs Friends
Alex has a small discussion about mental health and dealing with loss, and reaches out to the listeners. He goes over the worst things Rush Limbaugh has ever said and goes back to roasting the mayor.
Cancun Cruz
Didn't think there would be another episode of roasting Ted Cruz, but he's the gift that keeps on giving. Ted Cruz escaped to Cancun during the winter storm crisis in Texas and there's a lot to talk about regarding that disaster.
Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio also get roasted so it's not just right wingers getting made fun of here. It's just that they happen to be easier to make fun of. Come on, look at Mitch McConnell's face, how can you not make fun of that ventriloquist dummy-turtle mix.
Alex checks in with everyone's favorite crying mukbang YouTuber and finds some of the craziest Karens of America we've ever seen on the history of the show (other than those people storming the Trader Joe's with no masks a couple episodes ago).
A guy on reddit searches for relationship advice on what to do when his girlfriend asks to watch him hook up with one of her friends.
The MAGAlorian
Alex finds out that Ted Cruz has a podcast for him to roast. Donald Trump is having a beef with Mitch McConnell. Alex disproves the mask conspiracy theorists and anti-vaxxers with FACTS and LOGIC (Shapiro please don't sue me I'm just making a meme). An army of Karens storms the Trader Joe's wearing no masks.
Ted Cruz and the Terrible Mullet
Alex has a lot to talk about today. The impeachment is finished, and Trump got away with everything so I guess we have to deal with that, and deal with all the bs that Ted Cruz has to say about it all. "This is an act of rage by the democrats," alright Teddy, well so was the insurrection but by republicans.
He then moves on to talk about more important things, like getting his heart broken years back in college but realizing it was meant to happen that way for very good reasons.
"Keeping up with the Karens" is towards the end of the episode, where Alex makes fun of the most recent Karens that have graced our computer screens this week.
Roasting Ted Cruz (Again)
Alex is all over the place today and discusses the 100% cannibal roaming around Joshua Tree, mercilessly mocks Ted Cruz, and talks about podcasts he likes and doesn't like.
To Catfish a Predator
Alex tells a story about a time he accidentally got involved in a sting operation.
Cats and Crypto
Alex explains how he got his cat and why you should adopt strays, don't shop from breeders. Oh yeah there's also some stuff about Marjorie Taylor Greene in here.
The Attack of the Male Karens
Okay to be honest, the male Karens are much scarier than the female Karens. I take back everything I've said.
Hillary from Boston and Armie Hammer's Appetite
Alex makes fun of his friends for having a covid party and then getting covid, and apologizes for some mean things he said to someone on GTA Online the other night. There's also a roast of our good friend and notorious human garbage Ted Cruz. Armie Hammer likes a good roast.
There Will Always Be Butts
Alex gets into some trouble with his wonderful super amazing very intelligent and incredibly brave partner for some comments he made about other female's butts in the previous episode, triggering a passionate conversation about said butts.
Joe Biden: A New Beginning
Alex talks about the new guy in charge, and says goodbye to the Orange Man for good. There's also a discussion about coping with loss and helping a guy get through a relationship problem involving his girlfriend's past.
Dedicated to James R. Senicola (1985-2021)
Buy James's book Trump's Lessons for Kindergarten here: https://www.amazon.com/Trumps-Lessons-Kintergarden-Survive-School/dp/1728371198
Donate to his scholarship fund if you can: https://palmbeach.schoolcashonline.com/Fee/Details/157475/3/False/True
Lauren Boebert: Sarah Palin but Dumber
Alex is back from the weekend, and has a lot to say about Lauren Boebert and her crazy ass.
Rest in Peace to James R. Senicola, a great friend of the show, and an amazing human being overall. Donate to the scholarship fund set up in his name here: https://palmbeach.schoolcashonline.com/Fee/Details/157475/3/False/True
Roasting Ted Cruz and Pirates of the Republican Party II
A lot of stuff has happened.... I don't really need to say much more than that. But Alex talks about the most recent current events, gets really mad at Ted Cruz and that lady who brings her gun to work, and then looks at the scary content found on Parler.
Donald Trump's Final Stand
It's been an interesting five days.... There's a lot to talk about including the banning of President Trump from his favorite social network, and of course, the rioting and destruction which happened at the Capitol last week. Alex roasts the bison horn guy and makes fun of the Karens who made this all possible.
Kanye Inside the Beauty Industry
Kanye did WHAT?!?!
White Dudes Dissecting Hip Hop
Alex throws out a bunch of rants about kids, De Blasio, and people in his life who are way too pretentious about hip hop.
Just "Girls Who Smoke" Things
Alex clowns on some weed influencers (while praising one), and helps someone break up with their furry boyfriend.
Alex Does True Crime & Healthy Holidays
Alex tries his hand at the true crime genre in a riveting story about one of the worst criminals to hit the streets, and rants about stimulus checks, family drama, and New Years resolutions. As always he updates you on the most recent Karen incidents around the country.
The Ghost Cat and an Angry McRib Review
Alex finally talks about the news a little bit, and reflects on a potentially haunted (and adorable) situation in his apartment. He then recalls his traumatic experience trying the McRib (don't try it please it's not worth it), reviews the newest GTA Online update, and updates his review for Black Ops: Cold War. Karen trigger warning as always, because Alex then makes fun of a bunch of them for refusing to wear masks in stores, and decides whether or not a person on Reddit is indeed, the a-hole they are worried that they are.
Getting Mauled While Dogsledding and other Stories in Stupidity
Alex barely talks about the news, instead opting to talk about vaccines and tell stories about ski trips in the past involving a curious kid and a pack of dogsledding dogs.
Alex Joins a Cult, and Retelling the "I Literally Died" Story
Alex just finished The Vow and that was insane.... He connects it to other cults and "seminars" that he's almost joined, and tells a story about a time in college that defined him.
Review of "the Grinch" Goes Too Far
Alex tells the wonderful story of why he hates Christmas so much, explains the bigger problem with the Lüm music app, and talks about when cancel culture works and when it doesn't.
Butt-Squeezing Ghosts
Alex rants about his experiences watching ghost hunter tv shows after avoiding cable for so long. We check in on Rudy Giuliani, and see how holiday shopping is taking a toll on some customers.
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Exposing De Blasio Scams
Alex gives his suggestions for holiday shopping, tries to sell an air fryer, and nails De Blasio for some "missing" money.
Alex vs Mayor De Blasio
Alex has some choice words for New York City's mayor and his recent decisions.
Alex Almost Cancels Himself
Looking for a good Black Friday deal? Use code ALEX15 at checkout when you buy your pet some stylish swag at pawhabits.com Sorry the episode is late, had a little too much fun this Thanksgiving. But anyways I make fun of Diaper Don which is still currently trending, look at some conspiracies and celebrity gossip, then get really mad at some Karens for old times' sake.
The One Year Anniversary Podcast
Use code ALEX15 when you checkout at pawhabits.com Alex reflects on the last year of having a podcast, tells the story of how it all came to be, and looks at one man's intimate relationship with his horses.
Attack of the Murder Hornets
Alex mocks Doctor Phil, slam dunks on Bill De Blasio, and learns about murder hornets and the way they attack.
Space Karen
Alex goes to war with the Google Stadia community and reflects on seven years of bad luck. Don't mind the discussion of spiritual stuff if you don't like that kind of thing sorry about that.
Alex Becomes a Cyberbully
You're Fired.
The Election Day Special
Kim Kardashian has too much Privilege
How Alex Madore Found Himself at Summer Camp (I promise this isn't a religious thing)
Okay, so we start off with a little bit of a sizzle, some Trump rally highlights with a slight roast and then --BAM! -- mix in a pretty hearty amount of story time and emotional development and --BAM!.... No one remembers Emeril? Ugh. Well I do. Anyways here's the story of how I was inspired to make music and show it to the world, which, of course, starts as a story about a girl.
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