Spectrum With SAS

Hello listeners! ASD adulting was such an extensive subject that Sandra and Sarah are back with a part two, addressing compromise and compassion in adulting. How do you navigate the expectations of family, work, and society, balanced with the right to express yourself as an Autistic individual?

We start with the concept of compromise and compassion in two different forms: compromise and compassion as a Non-Autistic person for an Autistic person, and then compromise and compassion as an Autistic person for a Non-Autistic person.

For the first form of compromise (Non-Autistic for Autistic), the best thing a Neurotypical person can do for an Autistic person is to provide or approve accommodations for the person on the Spectrum. This is because the Autistic person is already meeting them halfway, just being in an environment that isn’t created for anyone who is Neurodivergent. It also helps to know that accommodations aren’t generic for the ASD population, they’re individualized based on age, stressors, environment, and more. Remember that ASD minds are neurologically different, and unique. Behaviors – what are they? They’re not a bad thing, but it’s often spoken of in the negative when it comes to autism. A behavior is merely a form of communication, whether or not it’s understood.

For the first form of compassion (Non-Autistic for Autistic), the best thing a Neurotypical person can do for an Autistic person is to accept boundaries that the ASDer sets in their life – you can help by not being demanding, but you also don’t need to have low expectations. Expect competence on an individual level, don’t assume incompetence. Don’t use the diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder to set limits for the person – let the individual do that. Find the strengths and use them, don’t try to fix the weaknesses. The label of autism doesn’t equal flawed or lacking, it just means we’re different.

This is just a taste of the episode, listen in for more and stay tuned for Episode 5: Adulting Part 3!

Hi listeners, and thanks for tuning in to Spectrum With SAS!

Sandra takes a moment to address the current world situation regarding COVID-19, and ways to keep social… think about it as physical distancing, not social distancing. You’re not alone, we’re all in this together! Stay safe.

We talk about Adulting: Skills and Expectations. Everyone is navigating through unspoken rules and expectations. Sandra and Sarah both agree that success is different for everyone, addressing everything from hygiene, driving, to friendships! What’s important is how you measure your own success – through your own efforts and goals, not society’s expectations. Don’t be afraid to use alternatives and accommodations to reach your goals for adulting and skill building. How you do you that? Evaluate if it’s a healthy challenge to your comfort zone, or unnecessary self-torture for the sake of “milestones” that someone else set for you. As Sarah says, everyone is on an eternal journey of being comfortable in their “meatsuit” – which is to say, everybody is constantly trying to find their purpose in life.

We also ask parents of children and adults on the Spectrum to let Autistics surprise them! It’s unfair to set dismal, low expectations, but it’s equally unfair to set unattainable, high expectations. Consider your own child or adult on the Spectrum to be the creator of their life goals, and you won’t be disappointed.

Sandra and Sarah discuss ideas to make it easier when pushing out of your comfort zone, such as finding aspects of the task that you like. But if it’s the status quo you dislike – go out and change it! Educate others, share information, if you’re able and willing. The only way to create change is to make it.

Turning down the lane of a different subject, our sassy hosts talk a bit on friendships. It’s hard to fit in, but all you need to do is find “your” people. In some instances, the diagnosis of ASD can be a saving grace with the ability to request accommodations, and having a deeper understanding of your own behaviors, triggers, and quirks. In other instances, it can be the cause of others underestimating and belittling. It’s good to access when it’s appropriate to divulge a diagnosis.

For caregivers, family, and friends of those on the autism spectrum, just because your Autistic ward, family member, or friend doesn’t express appreciation for the things that you do, doesn’t mean that they’re ungrateful. Sandra and Sarah mention that sometimes the gratitude is expressed in a different manner than you’d expect – and it’s not always easy to decipher. As Sandra puts it, “If you’re given the right supports, you can turn into a beautiful… caterpillar!”

As always, keep it sassy.

Welcome to our first official episode of Spectrum With SAS! In this episode, you can get to know us and why we decided to do what we do. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions contact us at SpectrumWithSAS@Gmail.com ! We look forward to you joining us. 💜

Welcome to our teaser episode of what's to come for Spectrum With SAS! We talk about upcoming episodes, a little bit about ourselves, and some fun banter. We look forward to you joining us. 💜