speed of grace
By Valerie Grace
speed of grace Jun 18, 2020
#13: From Emotional Yo-Yo & Avoiding Pain to Self-Expressive Happy Woman Who Invests in Herself
Have you ever felt like you have fallen short of a certain 'ideal' you 'should' be?
And because of that, you find yourself struggling in your relationships not just with others, but also yourself.
Today, be encouraged and inspired by my client, Xin Ying - a Singaporean living in Chicago.
6 months ago, when Xin Ying applied to work with me in the Breakthrough Woman Program, she rated her happiness 6 out of 10.
Today, A LOT has changed.
Hear all about it in today's podcast!
TIME STAMPS:
4:20 Passion for food, cooking
7:37 Tissues and an emotional Breakthrough Call experience
9:53 Living abroad: from 'reset' to feeling lost and seasonal depression
13:20 Realising she 'struggled with the same things' while being in a relationship
14:20 'I made the decision I don't want to live like that anymore'
16:29 'How I deal with emotions is by running away from them'
18:35 Finding freedom and going beyond being a 'personality type'
22:14 What really helped Xin Ying in the Breakthrough Woman Program
23:50 What were the first few relationships she had to find closure in?
24:20 Falling short of the 'ideal' of what a 'good person' is
27:07 Head Knowledge v.s. Heart Knowledge
27:48 Do these myths of 'breakthroughs' keep you stuck?
29:44 What does it mean to love yourself?
31:00 Everything stems from this ONE relationships
33:00 Self-Empathy: How comfortable are you sharing how you truly feel?
35:35 Feeling inadequate at work because of ________
37:05 Growing up with everything but......
39:45 The reality and value of 'breakthroughs'
42:54 Self-Patience and offering patience to others
42:11 Xin Ying's advice to you (please listen....it's TOO GOOD to miss!)
#12: Burned-Out & Disconnected from her Truth to Living Her Dreams with Authenticity & Purpose
When you've done EVERYTHING,when you've achieved it all, and you're supposed to feel successful,
but deep down, you still feel something's missing, something's wrong....
how do you breakthrough?
What can you do when...you've done EVERYTHING you could and nothing changes?
Today, be encouraged by the breakthrough story of my dear friend from the city of angels, Los Angeles - JENA RODRIGUEZ.
/TIMESTAMPS/
0:00-5:49
Getting to know Jena
6:30
Hitting an emotional brick-wall
8:25
'I have to control EVERYTHING'
8:58
Recovering perfectionist and straight As
10:19
Domestic violent household, drugs, addiction
12:00
Jena's first step in emotional healing
14:00
The beauty of being open
16:20
Little girl attachment that held her back
19:15
Jena's time-travel healing experience
23:45
Result: breakthrough breeds breakthroughs!
24:35
'I tapped into something I had not seen before'
25:28
Saying what you want to say to Mom
27:23
When your dream is BIGGER than your limits
27:53
Giving yourself permission to be taken care of
28:13
Unsafe childhood: Growing up being your own 'protector'
31:00
When family & friends aren't comfortable with your breakthrough
32:25
Major dream come true!
36:46
Moving on another 'frequency'
39:09
How to listen & follow through what's put in your heart
40:08
"When this happens...then...." = NOT trust
42:20
Don't wait. Take Inspired Action!
44:00
Expressing your true self and forgotten potential
46:22
Finding the 'colors' in you
46:38
Jena's loving advice to you
49:40
How to breakthrough your personal limits
#11 From Depression, Self-Sabotage & Shame from Business Failure to Health, Happiness & Relationships
1:47 Who is Fann?
4:00 Suffering inside-outThe result of shame, depression and hopelessness
5:20 When you don't feel good, how could this affect your relationships?
6:13 "I couldn't even care for my children."
7:06 "When is this going to be over?"
7:28 Losing interest in life
9:04 Her doctor said, "I've exhausted all the medicine I could give you."
10:37 Breakthrough point: What happened at her very last doctor's visit
12:40 Our 'Divine Connection' story
17:39 Fann's first breakthroughs
19:42 When you feel good on the inside....
20:30 Healing your inner child: An unforgettable Breakthrough Session
22:58 Self-abuse, self-rejection and self-hatred
23:30 Reconciling with herself (a tearful moment during the interview)
25:17 Did you have to prove yourself?
26:13 The story of dad and the report card
27:50 A crushing business failure
30:11 What's life like after a public failure?
32:11 What were the relationships Fann had to heal and find closure in?
34:03 Insecurity vs. Celebrating the successes of others
35:53 Being present to enjoy with loved ones
38:00 "I can value and affirm myself in every small step"
39:55 Mastering an underrated life-skill
42:48 Finding the courage to reconnect with God
45:00 The myth of being worthy of God's love
47:05 Fann's advice to you if you feel like you're losing yourself
47:30 Is this the cry in your heart?
#10 Broken Engagement, Loneliness & Self-Loathing to Fun-Loving, Radiant Woman Living Her Potential
3:08 What was life like before her breakthrough journey?
4:08 How do you know you have an unhealthy relationship with yourself?
6:50 'There must be something wrong with me' (blaming yourself for the breakup)
7:43 Googling solutions for hair loss and positive affirmations
9:20 What's the missing link?
10:03 Her turning point
13:44 'Don't be stupid'
16:10 How she overcame her fear of beginning her breakthrough journey
18:00 When your heart wants it but your mind stops you
20:00 Self-loathing to self-kindness
23:23 'I want to be beautiful inside-out'
24:38 From suppressed people-pleaser to liberated confidence
26:16 Boycotted at 9 years old
28:00 How did the school bullying trauma suppress her true self?
30:45 Resentment against parents
33:25 'I have no regrets' reconciliation before dad's passing
34:34 Why did Meiyi extend her Breakthrough Journey for another 12 months?
37:42 From 'girl' to woman
39:30 'I feel freer and freer'
43:00 Finding her confident self again
44:30 Meiyi's encouragement for you
#09: Unhappy, Low Self-Esteem & Fear-Driven Working Mom Becomes a Liberated, Confident, Joyful Woman
SHOW NOTES + TIME STAMPS:
3:15 Reversing hyperthyroidism naturally
4:03 How she started her emotional and mental health breakthrough journey
5:00 “I was truly not happy. I didn’t laugh for a long time.”
6:20 Living in fear
7:10 Obsessed about having control
7:40 So stressed you don’t even know it?
8:38 The need to be noticed & recognised
11:38 Letting go of perceived sources of strength
13:08 When self-help is helpful but not enough
16:38 How do you choose who to mentor or guide you in healing and breakthrough?
20:48 The turning point to seek help 22:29 How do you overcome fear of change?
24:36 “Enough is enough”
15:38 When you are the toxic one
26.48 First breakthrough: Healing of Gek Shan's self-image
28:12 Do you use this coping mechanism to suppress the pain of not feeling good enough?
29:30 Second breakthrough: Beyond singing about being a 'child of God'
33:25 When you yearn for your loved one's affirmations
35:08 A common trait of women who apply to work with me
36:15 Breaking the Fear of Abundance!
37:44 Do you subconsciously feel safe in your struggle?
40:27 Loving yourself at a 'cellular level'
42:45 How to practise Self Forgiveness as an imperfect person
45:00 Gek Shan's encouragement for you
46:50 How finding Clarity shows you your Purpose in life
#08: Beauty & Ugliness: What Shapes Your Self-Image?
Hi Val, How do we shake off negative self talk? Whenever I look myself at the mirror or think about myself, I can only see and think of my flaws and ugliness. I avoid going out because I feel so ashamed of myself however I do not want to continue living in hiding. I truly want to live my life and I want to feel beautiful and confident in my own skin.
Beauty: What Shapes Your Self-Image?
What are the sources of your negative self talk?
What shapes the definitions of your self-image?
How do we truly heal self-disgust and self-loathing?
Why positive affirmation doesn't work and what to do instead?
What if you feel like a fraud fooling ourselves you're 'beautiful'?
What if we feel really 'ugly'?
A deeper perspective.
What if selfies are not about vanity but something more?
Is Beauty a privilege?
Why do we crave for Beauty and how can we satisfy it?
TOPICS COVERED:
self-image
self-definition
negative self-talk
body dysmorphia
beauty
ugliness
vanity
sense of awe
lucky vs. unlucky
privilege
calling (it's not what you think)
#07: Purpose: Can We Really Make A Difference Without Fame & Power?
LISTENER'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK
"How can we continue to live with hope and play our part
and be a positive contribution to the world without giving in to despair and hopelessness with what’s happening in the world?
It feels unfair and I'd like to do something but it doesn't feel significant enough."
DIALOGUE:
Can we really make a difference?
What if we never make it to the headlines and be 'history makers'?
How can we start and know what we do is really significant enough?
Why are we afraid and jaded with the words
'contributor', 'value-adder' and 'purpose?'
Is our purpose and calling that 'ONE' thing in our lifetime?
What can we do to protect our most vulnerable and overlooked citizens?
How can we create a space where everyone gets to feel belonged and at home?
TOPICS COVERED:
purpose & meaning
sources of hope & joy
protection of our most
vulnerable & overlooked citizens
belonging
fame vs. significance
contribution
the 'ripple effect'
the power of small
ordinary vs extraordinary
reaching out
We may never be famous,
we may never make the headlines
and be 'history makers'
On the other side of hopeless is HOPE.
#06: Nourishment: How To Fill The Void Within & Replenish Your 'Inner Reserves'
#05: Guided Prayer & Meditation for Closure with Valerie Grace
#04: Closure Part 2: What Are Your Emotional Footprints On The People In Your Life - Past & Present
LISTENER'S QUESTION OF THE WEEK: "Hi Val, I feel there are still parts of me missing even though I have moved on from my last relationship for a long time now. Are the closures I had incomplete?"
What can we do when we are the ones who had inflicted hurt, intentionally or unintentionally, on others? How do our family's stories shape our perspectives about ourselves, others and the world? What are soul fragments, the 'lost parts' of ourselves? Do we carry other people's soul fragments? How do we communicate beyond words and convince others what we really feel and think about them? Why do we tend to show up as what we've been defined to be, especially when with family - even if we strive against it? What does cleansing and nourishing ourselves look like? Why do we sometimes feel unsettling when there's peace in our lives? How do emotions and beliefs work together to produce certain fruits in our lives? What is a practical first step for us to take action on our closure with others?
TOPICS: emotional footprints unhelpful self-identities judgement soul-ties & soul fragments familial influences finding the lessons in our relationships fruits of non-closures generational and ancestral patterns that shape our self-definitions and worldview the balance between 'cleansing and nourishing' internal vows & agreements the garden of our lives
#03: Closure Part 1: Do We Really Need to 'Forgive & Forget'?
#02: How to Recover from Social Burnout and Stay Sane in a Noisy World of Obligations
YOUR QUESTION OF THE WEEK: "Hi Val, I’ve been on back to back video and voice calls. Even after work, I'm on personal calls. I receive texts from my colleagues and bosses after office hours. It’s getting overwhelming. Everybody seems to be having fun but I'm not. Is something wrong with me?"
DISCOVER:
- What are the core fears that make us vulnerable to social obligations we secretly resist?
- How do we discern Selfishness versus Self-Cultivation?
- How can we authentically communicate what we feel with grace and respect?
- How do we reclaim our personal space and energy in our current fast-paced and highly-connected world?
- What are the false beliefs that withhold us from having quality relationships while nurturing our wellbeing?
- Why is growth not always about 'adding on' to our lives?
TOPICS COVERED:
social burnout
obligations
navigating a highly connected world
healthy boundaries
self-compassion
self-respect
expressing your needs
guilt-trips
selfishness vs. self-care
'subtraction' for growth
#01: Relief from Stress, Anxiety & Tension with People at Work & Home
This week's question from a reader:
"Hi Val, I feel suffocated by stress and anxiety because I've nowhere to let it out, especially during lockdown.
I'm struggling with work and taking care of myself..
I'm stuck with my family 24/7 where there's daily conflict and increasing tension.
I've tried so hard on everything I could to feel better but I'm still stuck. What can I do?"
In our Q&A Thursday debut, co-host and Breakthrough Woman Ambassador Pearl Lee joins me for the first time to share her story in a similar scenario as someone who's been working from home for 10 years now.
When does workaholism hurt our wellbeing?
How does our relationship with ourselves impact our relationships with people at home and work?
What was the harrowing wake-up call she wishes
none of us have to experience?
What are the lessons and practices we can apply today (without burning out later)?
TOPICS COVERED:
burnout
workaholism
escapism
insomnia
friction with family
irritation with colleagues
frustration with self
guilt of 'emotional dumping'
on boss and friends