Sports Movie Madness

12 Round Gun (2018, boxing) is absolute trash written by, directed by, and starring Sam Upton. It's horrendous. It's a clusterf*ck. It needs to be seen to be believed. Could this be the lowest-scoring movie ever reviewed on the show?

Invincible (2006, football) stars Mark Wahlberg and Elizabeth Banks...or is it Rachel McAdams? Whatever. When it comes to sports movies, it's as generic as they come: the "based on a" true story of Vince Papale, the dude who walked on to the Philadelphia Eagles. So, which is better: this movie, or the episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?

Rob's theory that everything is funnier with a monkey is put to the test, and Mac's fundamental misunderstanding of a character sends the gang into hysterics. MVP: Most Valuable Primate (2000, hockey) is a ridiculous schlocky film that has to be seen to be believed. Just...don't read too far into the monkey's romantic history.

Ed (1996, baseball) stars Matt LeBlanc and a ball-playing monkey. It's the worst thing ever. But is it as bad as Score! A Hockey Musical? The answer just might surprise you.

He Got Game (1998, basketball) is a Spike Lee joint starring Denzel and Ray Allen- a natural team. Allen plays Jesus Shuttlesworth, a high school basketball star facing a life-changing decision. With the world pulling him a million different ways, Jesus' father Jake re-enters his life with an ulterior motive of his own. It's basically the Inflatable Pants episode of Spongebob. It's explained.

The boys are back! Casey, Mac and Rob take a look at Miracle (2004, hockey) directed by Gavin O'Connor. Kurt Russell is the legendary hockey coach Herb Brooks as the US tries to take down the mighty Soviet Union at the 1980 Olympic Games in one of the most beloved sports movies ever. To prevent a gush-fest, the boys are tasked with finding two critiques of the film, including Rob's red-hot take about the infamous Herbies "Mike Eruzione" scene...

Alright. We've got a lot of complaints about these movies and you're gonna hear about 'em. Some we've reviewed, some are teases of what's to come. So kick back, relax, grab some eggnog and enjoy Mac, Casey and Rob engage in the feats of strength over which movies they detested the most in 2019.

Carter High (2015, football) tells the story of Friday Night Lights...but on the other side. Yes, the team that won states in the famous high school football tale has a story too, and it's a very intricate and intriguing one at that. Too bad you wouldn't know it from the movie that was made about it. Our advice? Check 30 for 30 instead.

Bayonet (2018, boxing) is a powerful exercise in the art of atmospheric misery. Miguel "Bayoneta" Galíndez is a Mexican boxer who flees to Finland after a tragic event. A stranger in a strange land, he's alone and hopeless with no other recourse but to attempt a comeback fight to get his life back. It's beautifully shot, emotional, carefully paced...but it has subtitles so Rob hated it. Is this movie criminally underrated like Casey thinks or confusingly dull as Rob believes? Check it out on Netflix to see for yourself.

The gang takes a look at one of Rob's favorite sports movies of all time. "Trouble with the Curve" (2012, baseball) stars Clint Eastwood, Amy Adams, Justin Timberlake, John Goodman and the T-1000. Though it has a loaded cast, it toes a fine line between heartfelt love story and corny romantic comedy. So how does it measure up on the scale?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is the Tooth Fairy (2010, hockey). Directed by Michael Lembeck and starring a whole bunch of people with third home payments to make, "Tooth Fairy" is so incredibly bonkers that it's hard not to love it. Oh, and also Casey was almost in it. Sorta. It's explained.

Mac is confused. Casey is disappointed. Rob is pretty drunk. Sounds like the perfect condition to talk about "The Longshots," a 2008 football movie directed by Fred Durst. Keke Palmer is Jasmine Plummer, the first female quarterback in Pop Warner Super Bowl history. Coached by Ice Cube, she seeks to revitalize her town, connect with her Uncle the surrogate father, and learn the real Super Bowl was the friends we made along the way.

"Legendary" (2010, Wrestling) is a WWE Films production starring Danny Glover, Patricia Clarkson and John Cena. Cena plays a tough guy in this movie about as well as he did as the Doctor of Thugganomics. It's a mess, but is it as fun of a mess as Score: A Hockey Musical?

Casey, Mac and Rob dissect "The Phenom" (2016, baseball) an independent movie starring Ethan Hawke and Paul Giammatti. Is it a clever character study of a young athlete facing too much too soon or a pretentious snoozefest? Probably somewhere in the middle.

You probably haven't heard of "Score! A Hockey Musical" (2010, hockey). That deserves to change. Starring Olivia Newton-John and Noah Reid, it's a cataclysm of wrong that deserves a watch. Farley Gordon is a "homeschooled weirdo" who is about to make it big as a hockey star. But he doesn't like fighting. Hijynx and an excessive number of musical numbers ensues.