Stack'n'Days: Sober Journeys from Black, Brown and other voices of color.

We’re brewing up some exciting new episodes here at Stack'n'Days headquarters, and we can’t wait to share them with you in the coming weeks! But today, we’ve got something special: an episode featuring our very own Ray Donovan on Dupe Witherick’s Thriving Alcohol Free Podcast. You might remember Dupe from her powerful appearance on our show last November. She shared how a 21-day alcohol-free challenge turned into nearly five years of sobriety, a renewed sense of well-being, and a deeper connection to her faith. 

Now, the tables have turned, and Ray is in the hot seat. In this episode, he opens up about his sobriety journey—sparked by becoming a father and the isolation of the COVID-19 pandemic. Realizing his relationship with alcohol didn’t align with the man he wanted to be for himself and his family, Ray made the life-changing decision to stop drinking over three years ago. 

Ray dives into moments of personal clarity, the power of vulnerability, navigating emotions, and how sobriety has shaped his life. This is your chance to hear his story in a fresh, intimate way—through the lens of an interview.

Enjoy this special episode, and stay tuned for more from Stack’n’Days!

Ray’s Toolkit:

• Prioritize Self-Awareness

• Establish Boundaries

• Seek Community

• Embrace Change

• Pursue Small Joys

Connect with the show

Podcast host, author, and coach Dupe Witherick describes herself as a “normal drinker.” Unlike common stereotypes, her relationship with alcohol didn’t involve a dramatic rock bottom—instead, she had seamlessly woven drinking into her daily life and identity. Dupe joins Ray to share how alcohol shaped her university years, professional life, and social interactions. It wasn’t until a personal loss and the upheaval of the COVID-19 pandemic that she began to question her reliance on alcohol. What started as a 21-day alcohol-free challenge blossomed into nearly five years of sobriety, renewed well-being, and a deep connection to faith and a higher power.

Dupe’s Toolkit:

• Pause and reflect on why you’re drinking 

• Ask yourself what emotion you’re feeling

• Replace drinking with productive activities

• Embrace new activities

• Believe in yourself

• Find supportive communities 

• Have faith or believe in a higher power

• Pursue new passions and dreams

• Self-worth is critical

• Listen to your intuition

Dupe’s details 

Ray sits down with Jasmine Rogers, whose journey to becoming two years sober from alcohol, has been anything but straightforward. The duo explores what it truly means to live authentically — the challenges, the triumphs, and the unexpected moments of growth. This is Jasmine’s second time in sobriety. Her first lasted a year, and then when she thought she was “cured,” she relapsed even worse. The staying factor is she always remembered the clarity sobriety gave her. So she started seeing a therapist, was encouraged to go to AA. Raising her son gave her a higher purpose to continue living alcohol-free. She went from being the life of the party to encouraging others through her own actions to seek a life unhindered by substances. It’s raw, inspiring, and filled with moments that will leave you rethinking what it means to live on your own terms. 

Jasmine’s Toolkit:

• Reflect on what makes you genuinely happy 

• Set boundaries 

• Advocate for yourself

• Embrace solitude as a way to grow

• Prioritize mental and emotional health

• Try new things

• Try old things you forgot you loved

• Reach out to community

Ray connects deeply with guest Andry Rakotoniaina as they share experiences from the food and beverage industry. Andry opens up about how, as the eldest in an immigrant family, he faced immense pressure, especially after his father’s passing. Alcohol became an escape from these heavy responsibilities, but over time, it took control of his life. With a career in the restaurant industry, where alcohol was always within reach, the journey wasn’t easy. Today, Andry is co-founder of the Kentucky chapter of Ben’s Friends, supporting hospitality workers in sobriety. This powerful conversation dives into addiction, the strength to break free, and how recovery can transform lives.

Andry’s Toolkit:

• Recognize Industry Risks

• Acknowledge the Allure

• Address Family Pressures

• Honesty is Key

• Watch for Normalized Habits

• Find the activities that bring you joy

• Embrace Your Cultural Identity

• Seek Sober Role Models

• Accept That Change is Gradual

• Celebrate Sobriety

Andry’s details 

Ray catches up with Lunic Adisson-Boyd, a licensed minister, advocate for spiritual growth and entrepreneur and founder of God is Great Apparel, about her journey from addiction to recovery. Once living it up, Lunic eventually faced the harsh realities of substance abuse, especially when it comes to past trauma, and realized she needed to make a change. With a mix of humor and heartfelt honesty, she discusses how faith, community, and a bit of divine intervention helped her turn her life around. She encourages listeners to embrace grace, recognize their purpose, and empower themselves through service and entrepreneurship.

Lunic’s Toolkit:

• Embrace faith, spirituality and purpose

• Build a support network:

• Prioritize Self-Compassion:

• Practice kindness toward yourself

• Consider therapy

• Stay away from things that take you back to your vice

• Volunteer or engage in service

• Acknowledge your fears and confront them

• Stay open to change

• Practice mindfulness and reflection

Lunic’s details 

Grief, time, love and...pickleball. In this week's solo episode, Ray reflects on the past three years of his sobriety journey – what he considers the most challenging and deeply reflective years of his life. He opens up about the emotional weight of grief, the impact of aging family members, and the role of therapy in maintaining his sobriety. This podcast has become a therapeutic outlet. He talks about the importance of his Black female therapist, the lessons time teaches in recovery, and the importance of finding joy and levity along the way.

Connect with the show

There’s a lot happening here at Stack'n'Days headquarters, and we’re excited to share some big personal updates with you next week in a brand-new solo episode! But today, we’re re-airing a fan-favorite conversation from episode 37 with Tammi Scott. Tammi’s journey, from being a single mother of three to getting sober in a 12-step program and staying sober for 27 years, is incredibly relatable. Now, as a yoga teacher and mentor in the sobriety space, she uses the lessons she’s learned to guide others. In this episode, she talks about coming home to yourself, especially as a Black woman in the U.S.

Tammi’s Toolkit:

• 12 steps program

• Yoga

• Therapy

• Writing

• Learning about self compassion

• Hiking

• Community 

The Early Struggles

Tammi opens up about her early days as a single mother of three, using alcohol and drugs to cope. Overwhelmed and internally struggling, it took a therapist's insight to link her substance use with her depression, sparking the beginning of her self-discovery journey.

The 12-Step Program

Tammi shares her journey into the transformative 12-step program, underscoring its pivotal role in her recovery. Her first AA meeting marked a turning point, providing a sense of community and resonant stories. Tammi stresses the importance of supportive communities and mentors in the recovery process.

Holistic Healing

As Tammi progressed in recovery, she explored holistic healing modalities like yoga and writing. These practices deepened her self-understanding and offered comfort and grounding. Tammi emphasizes the significance of self-compassion and cultivating kindness towards oneself.

Ongoing Growth

Throughout the episode, Tammi acknowledges that recovery is an ongoing process. She urges mindfulness against complacency and emphasizes prioritizing sobriety, even during stable periods.

Healing as a Woman of Color

Tammi's experience as a woman of color has had a significant impact on her journey of recovery. Throughout her early days of sobriety, she faced the double-edged sword of being a person of color in predominantly white spaces. She felt the weight of societal expectations and the lack of support for women of color in professional settings. This added layer of complexity made it challenging for Tammi to fully express herself and find her place in the recovery community. Additionally, the racial injustices and violence against people of color deeply affected her, but she struggled to find understanding and empathy within the 12-step community. Despite these obstacles, Tammi has persevered and found her own path to healing and self-discovery, embracing her identity as a black woman and using her experiences to uplift and support others.

Current Involvements

Tammi is actively involved in facilitating sober support community meetings and co-teaching online sober courses both at The Luckiest Club. Her passion lies in sharing experiences and assisting others in their recovery journeys. Tammi plans to teach yoga, focusing on heart-centered work and creating spaces for healing and self-discovery.

Tammi’s details

Instagram: @QueenieT_

In this episode, Ray sits down with Kristen Feemster, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and wellness coach, to talk about her powerful journey through addiction and recovery. A former college athlete, Kristen opens up about how the pressure to be perfect as a Black woman, growing up in a mostly white community, and other life stressors led her down a path of alcohol addiction. She shares the pivotal moments that made her realize she needed to change and the people and inclusive spaces that helped her along the way. Kristen also dives into the importance of having a strong support system, why open conversations about mental health and addiction matter, and the resources out there for anyone looking to heal their relationship with alcohol.

Kristen’s Toolkit:

• Find safe professional spaces to recover as a person of color

• Seek therapy

• Loved ones leaving a compassionate, loving space to seek help

• Take the scary step to seek help

• Be honest with yourself

• Take note if you’re becoming defensive about the substance you’re using

• Don’t worry about perfectionism

• Connect to sober communities on social media/ podcasts

• Physical activity

• Create a routine sleep schedule

• Education on alcohol and its effects

• Spirituality of some kind

Kristen’s details 

Certified Sober and Life Coach Leonard Murphy shares his powerful journey through alcohol use, addiction, multiple relapses, and, eventually, recovery. Growing up with an alcoholic father, Leonard witnessed the damage alcohol can cause. He began drinking in college for confidence but soon spiraled into heavy use, impacting his marriage, children, and relationships. When his wife left with their children, Leonard realized the toll alcohol had taken on his life. After relapsing post-divorce, the death of his aunt from alcohol-related issues became his turning point. He entered rehab, embraced trauma therapy, and uncovered the root of his addiction, ultimately learning to forgive his father. Now, Leonard helps others in early sobriety find purpose and create a plan for their lives through his organization Empowered Through Sobriety. He emphasizes not just surviving but thriving in sobriety, focusing on spirituality, physical health, emotions, and finances. Leonard also shares strategies for supporting those in relapse and highlights the importance of community, particularly for men of color. Through prayer, meditation, and structure, Leonard leads a fulfilling life in recovery while inspiring others to do the same.

Leonard’s Toolkit:

• Ask for help – don’t suffer in silence

• Understand where your trauma comes from

• Speak to a therapist

• Forgive yourself and others

• Address spirituality, physical health, emotions, and finances in early sobriety

• Have a schedule and develop consistency

• Relapse is not failure

• Prayer and meditation in the morning and at night

• Workout

• Reach out to old friends who will support your sobriety

• Strong sober community in person and online

Leonard’s details 

In this episode, Ray interviews married couple Alisha and Ricci who share their individual journeys with alcohol and how it eventually intertwined in their relationship. Alisha grew up with alcohol always around her and started drinking as a teenager as a way to socialize and have a good time. Ricci, on the other hand, didn't have any alcoholic influences in his family but started drinking in his early twenties. As their relationship progressed, they started drinking together and it became a regular part of their lives. They would drink to relax, celebrate, and cope with the challenges of parenthood. However, their drinking habits escalated during lockdown, with Ricci hiding his excessive drinking from Alisha. Eventually, Alisha gave Ricci an ultimatum to address his drinking problem. This was the moment their lives and relationship changed for the better. 

Alisha + Ricci’s Toolkit:

• Alcohol can become a regular part of life and socializing, especially when it is normalized in one's environment

• Excessive drinking can have negative effects on relationships, health, and overall well-being

• Recognizing and addressing a drinking problem requires self-awareness and support from loved ones

• Moderation and finding healthier ways to relax and cope with stress are important in maintaining a balanced lifestyle 

• Support from a partner and a community can greatly aid in the journey to sobriety

• Get support, embrace support, give support

• Choosing sobriety can lead to a healthier and more fulfilling relationship

• Being present and engaged in parenting is a significant benefit of sobriety

Alisha + Ricci’s details 

In this episode, host Ray Donovan sits down with former college basketball player and coach Anne Skriba to discuss her journey through addiction, recovery, and the healing power of therapy. Anne opens up about how the pressures of being an athlete led her to use alcohol as a coping mechanism and how the pandemic pushed her deeper into isolation. She shares the pivotal moments that led her to sobriety, including the impact of her therapist's powerful words and how she applied the 'Mamba mentality' to her recovery. Together, Ray and Anne dive into the unspoken struggles athletes face, the silence around substance abuse in sports, and the importance of mental health in personal growth.

Anne’s Toolkit:

• Understand your trauma to address it

• Therapy is a crucial tool

• Break the silence

• Recognize coping mechanisms

• New tools for healing

• Advocate for mental health

• Surround yourself with a support system

Understanding Sobriety: Anne’s Journey and the Athletic Influence

Anne Skriba’s approach to sobriety was profoundly shaped by her background as an athlete. Her journey into recovery was not marked by rigid discipline but rather by a mindset of curiosity and self-improvement. This perspective stemmed from her athletic discipline or “Mamba Mentality,” where the focus is on continuous growth and learning.

Anne reflects on this approach: “I realized that the way I approached basketball—constantly striving for improvement, understanding my weaknesses, and learning from them—could be applied to my recovery. Instead of viewing sobriety as just a set of rules to follow, I saw it as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.”

This mindset allowed her to view her recovery through a lens of exploration and self-betterment. Rather than imposing strict, punitive measures on herself, she embraced a more compassionate and inquisitive approach, questioning whether her behaviors, including alcohol use, truly served her well-being.

Anne's details 

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, Ray sits down with Lauren Anderson, a legendary prima ballerina and recovering alcoholic, to discuss her remarkable journey from hiding in plain sight to embracing her truth out loud. As one of the first African-American principal ballerinas at a major American dance company, Lauren made history when she joined the Houston Ballet in 1983 and broke barriers in 1990 as a principal dancer.

Lauren recounts her battle with addiction throughout her career—from when it started as a fun party to the moment the wheels finally came off. She shares how court-mandated meetings led her to a transformative sober community that showed her how to live fully without substances. She opens up about the challenges of living up to perceived expectations and the freedom that comes from letting go of them. Today, Lauren celebrates 15 years of sobriety!

From navigating public scrutiny to becoming a guest speaker and the subject of a choreo poem, Lauren’s story is a testament to the power of resilience, community, and the courage to recover out loud.

Lauren’s Toolkit:

• Determine the severity of your addiction to determine treatment

• Seek Supportive Communities

• Find fellowship - doesn’t have to be religious

• Challenge Self-Imposed Expectations

• Transform Shame into Strength

• Accept Vulnerability

• Celebrate Small Wins

Lauren's details 

Ray sits down with Dr. Philippe Douyon, a neurologist, speaker and author, to explore the profound effects of alcohol on the brain and how it impacts overall cognitive health. Dr. Douyon shares his expert insights on what actually happens in the brain when we consume alcohol, from the disruption of neurotransmitters to long-term changes in brain structure and function. They dive deep into the science behind neuroplasticity – the brain’s ability to change and adapt – and discuss practical steps for supporting brain health during sobriety.

Dr. Douyon also sheds light on the unique challenges faced by BIPOC communities when navigating sobriety, including the social pressures and cultural factors that can complicate the journey. Tune in to learn how you can build resilience, reclaim your cognitive function, and enhance your mental well-being by understanding the powerful connection between sobriety and brain health.

Dr. Douyon’s Toolkit:

• Understand the science

• Monitor your consumption

• Engage in activities

• Practice mindfulness

• Practice meditation

• Prioritize sleep

• Seek community support

• Set realistic goals

The Brain and Alcohol: What's Really Happening?

Dr. Douyon breaks down the science behind alcohol's impact on the brain, explaining how even moderate consumption can lead to significant changes in brain function and structure. He discusses the delicate balance of neurotransmitters, the chemicals that communicate between nerve cells, and how alcohol disrupts this balance. This imbalance could lead to longer-term consequences on cognition and mental health. Dr. Douyon advises to be mindful of your drinking habits and understand the risks associated with them.

The Ripple Effect: Long-Term Consequences

Dr. Douyon delves into the long-term consequences of alcohol use, including the potential for developing chronic neurological conditions. He shares insights on the ways alcohol use can accelerate brain aging, diminish cognitive function, and increase the risk of mental health disorders. Ray and Dr. Douyon explore why these impacts are particularly significant in BIPOC communities, where access to mental health resources and education about substance use is often limited.

Dr. Douyon's details 

In this episode, Ray chats with J.T. Chestnut, a proud sober gay Black man, long-distance runner, and inarguably Whitney Houston’s #1 fan. A California transplant,  J.T. takes us through his deeply personal journey of breaking free from the cycle of addiction, a path that began with a brave decision to embrace his authentic self at age 16 in North Carolina. As he opens up about the struggles and triumphs of sobriety, J.T. reflects on the turning point when his mother urged him to get help and how that moment led him to an AA meeting in 2020. He shares how more than three years later sobriety has transformed his life, strengthened his bonds with loved ones, and deepened his love for running.

This episode is a testament to the power of community, self-discovery, and resilience. Tune in to hear J.T.’s inspiring story of breaking cycles, setting boundaries, and running toward a brighter, healthier future.

J.T.’s Toolkit:

• Break the cycle

• Seek help

• Be your authentic self

• Set and maintain boundaries

• Find productive outlets 

• Celebrate milestones

J.T.’s details 

In this special solo episode marking the 50th and final episode of Season 2, host Ray Donovan takes a moment to reflect on the profound journey of the Stack'n'Days podcast. He delves into how the podcast has not only been a platform for exploring the sobriety experience but has also been instrumental in his own personal growth. Ray expresses deep gratitude towards the guests who have fearlessly shared their stories, emphasizing the transformative power of vulnerability and openness in the recovery process.

As Season 2 draws to a close, Ray Donovan extends heartfelt appreciation to the listeners who have accompanied him on this transformative journey. He reaffirms Stack'n'Days commitment to fostering a culture of healing, resilience, and inclusivity. With each episode, the podcast continues to serve as a beacon of hope, inspiring individuals to reclaim their narratives and embark on the path towards sobriety and self-discovery.

The Power of Vulnerability and Openness in Recovery

Ray talks about the impact Stack’n’Days has had on his own sobriety and wellness journey. As an introvert Ray hadn’t previously been comfortable sharing his vulnerabilities with others but through the podcast he has learned that silence is not a coping mechanism and healing as part of a community is so much more powerful than healing in a silo. 

Stacking Days as a Platform for Healing and Support

Throughout the episode, Ray emphasizes the podcast's role as a catalyst for healing and support. He invites listeners to actively participate in the ongoing dialogue, fostering a community of empathy and understanding. Through sharing stories and experiences, Stack'n'Days serves as a sanctuary for those navigating the complexities of sobriety and mental health.

The Need for Representation in BIPOC Sobriety and Wellness 

Ray acknowledges the pivotal role that BIPOC women and the LGBTQ+ community have played in leading the discourse on sobriety and recovery on and off the podcast, thanking both communities for their openness and willingness to share. 

He candidly addresses the underrepresentation of men of color in discussions surrounding sobriety and mental health. He calls for greater inclusivity, urging more voices from this demographic to step forward and share their experiences. By amplifying diverse perspectives, Stack'n'Days seeks to bridge existing gaps and cultivate a more inclusive dialogue.

Consistency and Overcoming Challenges

Reflecting on his own journey, Ray emphasizes the importance of consistency and perseverance in the face of adversity. He shares insights gleaned from his experiences, reaffirming the transformative power of showing up, day after day. Stack'n'Days stands as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, inspiring listeners to embrace their own paths towards healing and growth.

Connect with the show

In this episode of Stack'n'Days, host Ray Donovan engages in a candid conversation with Nyina Muigai, exploring her personal journey with alcohol and her decision to embrace sobriety. She talks about her reasons for going sober, how she got sober and about her non-alcoholic drinks and events business. 

Nyina’s Toolkit:

• Informing herself about alcohol abuse 

• Connecting with like minded individuals online 

• Finding non-alcoholic events

• Setting up her non-alcoholic mobile bar, Nolik 

• Non-alcoholic drinks

• Running sober group trips 

Nyina's Journey

Nyina candidly shares her experience with alcohol, rooted in the vibrant drinking culture of Kenya. From early social drinking to using alcohol as a coping mechanism for inner unrest, Nyina's narrative reflects the multifaceted relationship many BIPOC individuals have with alcohol.

Turning Point and Self-Discovery

The turning point for Nyina came with the stark realization on New Year's Day, awakening to feelings of anger and disappointment. This pivotal moment ignited her decision to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, leading her towards sobriety.

Finding Support and Noliq's Inception

Navigating her sobriety journey, Nyina found solace in online communities and non-alcoholic events. Empowered by her experience, she founded Noliq, a mobile bar and events company dedicated to offering inclusive socializing experiences through non-alcoholic alternatives.

Nyina shares the evolution of Noliq, expanding its offerings to include ready-to-drink canned cocktails and sober travel experiences. Through authentic connections and transformative journeys, Nolik aims to redefine the narrative surrounding sobriety.

Challenges and Perspectives on Sobriety

Ray and Nyina delve into the diverse reactions towards non-alcoholic drinks, spanning from surprise to skepticism. They underscore the significance of acknowledging that drinking encompasses a sensory experience beyond taste, advocating for mindfulness and respect towards non-alcoholic options.

Education and Wellness Dialogues

Nyina shares her belief of the imperative need for early education and prevention strategies concerning alcohol consumption. Wellness and health should be central themes in this. 

Navigating Industry Dynamics

Nyina and Ray dissect the implications of major corporations entering the non-alcoholic sector, highlighting the importance of nurturing smaller businesses and fostering innovation in the realm of sober experiences.

In this solo episode Ray looks at three issues he has experienced in his sobriety journey. He discusses the fact that very few celebrities of color speak about sobriety and applauds those who do. He highlights that the portrayal of sobriety online and in the media is different to the reality but emphasizes that despite this difference, sobriety is one of the most rewarding and beneficial things you can do for yourself. He also talks about sobriety fatigue and offers advice on how to get through it. 

Empowering Representation

Ray begins by highlighting the significance of celebrities of color sharing their journeys of sobriety. He points to Tiffany Haddish as a powerful example of representation in the media. "You don't really hear a lot of folks of color, specifically black people, celebrities, that is, talking about some of these darker aspects," Ray reflects, emphasizing the importance of diverse voices in the narrative of recovery.

The Misleading Portrayal on Social Media

Ray dives into the misleading portrayal of sobriety on social media. He critiques the trend of "influencer sobriety," where addiction seems like a distant memory, painting an overly simplistic picture. "Influencer sobriety is a world where alcohol addiction is history, but it's all too neat," Ray remarks, stressing the need for honesty and realism about the challenges of recovery.

Facing Sobriety Fatigue

Ray shares his own experiences  of sobriety fatigue. "I feel as though that there is a, oftentimes, at least for me, there was a honeymoon, right? In early sobriety, you're really trying to stack those days and maintain a degree of clarity." He discusses the exhaustion that can accompany long-term recovery and the importance of staying engaged in the journey despite the challenges.

Ray emphasizes the value of finding tools and support that work for each individual's recovery journey. Whether it's therapy, support groups, or creative outlets, he encourages listeners to explore what resonates with them personally. 

Links to media mentioned

Podcast with Tiffany Haddish: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-conversation-with-amanda-de-cadenet/id1514866495?i=1000650119199 Article by Ashe Davenport: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/mar/30/giving-up-drinking-alcohol-tips-advice

Connect with the show

Jeny Rodrigue is a licensed mental health professional specializing in substance abuse within the BIPOC community. She shares her journey and insights into addressing addiction and mental health within communities of color. In her discussion with Ray she highlights the importance of normalizing conversations around mental health and addiction to provide better support and understanding.

Overcoming Stigma and Apprehension in Seeking Help in BIPOC Communities

Jeny discusses the common apprehension within communities of color when it comes to seeking therapy and mental health support. She emphasizes the historical context and societal influences that contribute to the stigma surrounding mental health in communities of color. By humanizing the conversation and sharing personal experiences, Jeny aims to break down barriers and encourage individuals to seek the help they need without feeling ashamed or judged.

Connection Between Mental Health and Addiction

Jeny addresses the interconnected nature of mental health and addiction. She explains how mental health issues like depression and anxiety can often coexist with addictive behaviors. She emphasizes the importance of addressing both aspects holistically to support individuals in their recovery journey. By recognizing the link between mental health and addiction, individuals can receive more comprehensive and effective treatment.

Supporting BIPOC in Recovery and Sobriety 

Jeny shares her approach to supporting individuals who may experience setbacks or relapses in their recovery journey. She emphasizes the importance of normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery process and providing a supportive environment for individuals to restart their journey without judgment or shame. By focusing on building on past successes and offering personalized support, Jeny aims to empower individuals to continue their recovery efforts.

Educating and Empowering Communities

The discussion touches on the need for education and awareness within communities of color regarding mental health and addiction. Jeny highlights the importance of providing resources, tools, and information to empower individuals and families to address these issues openly. By promoting conversations, normalizing mental health discussions, and offering support, communities can create a more inclusive and understanding environment for individuals struggling with mental health and addiction challenges.

Resources mentioned by Jeny:

Loved ones play such a huge role in recovery with Ray and guests often speaking about the impact this had on their sobriety journeys. Well today in this special episode of Stack'n'Days, Ray is joined by his wife Eva. They share candid insights into their journey of love, struggle, and growth, shedding light on the complexities of navigating sobriety as a couple within BIPOC communities.

Early Days and Intertwined Drinking

Ray and Eva reminisce about the early stages of their relationship, where alcohol played a central role. They fondly recall the moments of laughter and connection, yet recognize how heavily drinking was intertwined with those memories.

Recognizing the Problem

Eva bravely shares her realization that Ray's drinking was problematic, acknowledging the challenges she faced in trying to support him. Their conversation unveils the burden partners of alcoholics often bear in managing and monitoring their loved one's drinking, highlighting the emotional toll it takes.

Loss and Growth

Both Ray and Eva reflect on the loss of certain aspects of their relationship that were linked to alcohol. They openly discuss the challenges and rewards of Ray's journey towards sobriety, emphasizing that it's an ongoing process requiring self-reflection and addressing various life areas.

Coping Mechanisms and Emotional Honesty

Ray and Eva delve into the role of alcohol as a coping mechanism and how sobriety has allowed Ray to confront his emotions more honestly. They explore the intricacies of navigating sobriety within a relationship, acknowledging the friction and misunderstandings it can cause.

Living Intentionally and Finding Strength

They highlight the importance of living intentionally. Ray and Eva emphasize the need for internal strength and peace, highlighting the transformative power of honest self-reflection and growth.

Support and Gratitude

Ray and Eva express gratitude for their journey of growth and evolution. They underscore the significance of creating a safe, non-judgmental environment to support a loved one in recovery and the importance of honest conversations with yourself and each other.

Connect with the show

Creator of Sober Girls Houston Danay Jones joins Ray to talk about the importance of community in recovery, having role models of color, her bipolar diagnosis and how her life has changed for the better since quitting drinking. Her story is a testament to the transformative power of sobriety and self-discovery.

Danay’s Toolkit

• Physical Activities

• Therapy

• A Sober Community

• Spirituality

• Medication

• Creativity

• Education about Addiction 

Danay's Journey with Alcohol

Danay opens up about her early experiences with alcohol, starting at a young age due to loneliness and seeking connection. Moving to a big city intensified her destructive path, leading to arrests, mental health struggles, and a decade-long battle with addiction. The turning point came during the COVID-19 lockdown, prompting Danay to confront her drinking habits and make a life-changing decision on May 10th, 2020, marking her sobriety date.

Overcoming Shame and Embracing Recovery

Through therapy and self-reflection, Danay addresses the shame and guilt associated with her actions under the influence. She emphasizes the importance of self-love, understanding her true self, and setting goals to navigate the recovery journey successfully.

Creating Sober Girls Houston

Danay's initiative, Sober Girls, aims to provide a supportive and inclusive space for women in sobriety or exploring sobriety. Danay wants to reshape the narrative around socializing, showing that alcohol isn’t necessary for creating connections.

Challenging Recovery Misconceptions

Danay challenges misconceptions around recovery, highlighting the diversity of paths to sobriety and the significance of individualized approaches. She advocates for destigmatizing medicated-assisted treatments and embracing a holistic view of addiction recovery.

The Power of Sobriety

Danay reflects on the empowering transformation sobriety has brought to her life, emphasizing the newfound confidence, clarity, and purpose she experiences daily. She shares insights on recognizing signs of struggle, breaking the cycle of isolation, and supporting loved ones through their recovery journey.

Danay’s details: 

Instagram: @randomly_rude and @Sobergirlshtx

Vasavi Kumar is an author, podcaster, TV host, group coach, therapist, entrepreneur, and lifestyle expert. She shares her personal journey of recovery and growth, offering valuable insights and tools for speaking one's truth out loud. This episode features a deep dive into Vasavi’s sobriety journey and self-love experience.

This is the Stack’n’Days podcast, a platform that highlights underrepresented journeys of sobriety, growth, and well-being for BIPOC communities hosted by Ray Donovan.

Vasavi's Sobriety Journey 

Vasavi opens up about her first encounter with alcohol at a young age of 12, leading to a tumultuous relationship with substances in her 30s. She candidly shares her struggles with addiction, particularly to cocaine, and the pivotal moments that led her to seek help and embark on a path to sobriety.

Turning Point in Recovery

Vasavi reflects on the turning points in her recovery journey, highlighting the moments that compelled her to seek help and end the chaos. She emphasizes the importance of self-realization and the decision to prioritize self-love and well-being.

Tools for Self-Love and Growth

Drawing from her personal and professional experience, Vasavi offers valuable insights on cultivating self-love and creating a safe space for honest conversations with yourself. She emphasizes the power of speaking your truth out loud, challenging negative self-talk, and building a supportive environment for personal growth.

Creating a Safe Space

Vasavi discusses the significance of creating a safe environment for yourself, free from external validation and toxic influences. She shares the importance of cultivating inner safety and authenticity, which ultimately leads to healthier relationships and personal empowerment.

Embracing Vulnerability

Vasavi encourages listeners to embrace vulnerability and authenticity, emphasizing the strength in seeking help and sharing struggles with trusted individuals. She highlights the importance of open communication and self-compassion in navigating challenges and fostering personal growth.

Looking Ahead

Vasavi shares her aspirations for a fulfilling and balanced life, including a focus on self-love, healthy relationships, and continued personal development. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and staying true to her own values.

Vasavi’s Details

Jamil, a first-generation American, opens up about his struggles with alcoholism and the pivotal moments that led him to seek help. He discusses his childhood with an alcoholic father, his career in law enforcement, the different things his family tried to do to help him, almost dying from alcohol abuse and his path to recovery.  

Jamil’s Toolkit

• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)

• Alcohol treatment centers

• Spirituality

• Finding a sense of purpose in entrepreneurship 

Early Life and Family Background

Jamil reflects on his upbringing as the youngest of four siblings in a family where alcoholism was prevalent. He shares vivid memories of his father's struggles with alcohol and the impact it had on his childhood.

Jamil recounts traumatic incidents, including a car accident caused by his intoxicated father, and the subsequent passing of his father due to cancer. 

Journey to Sobriety

After facing multiple challenges and setbacks, including a DUI and suspension from work, Jamil reaches a breaking point. He describes his desperate desire to change his life and seek help for his alcohol addiction.

Jamil's journey to sobriety includes multiple attempts at treatment, relapses, and encounters with fellow members of Alcoholics Anonymous. He highlights the pivotal role of a sponsor in guiding him towards recovery.

Challenges and Triumphs

Despite facing obstacles and setbacks, Jamil perseveres in his quest for sobriety. He shares the struggles of reentering the workforce and finding his place in society as a recovering alcoholic.

Jamil emphasizes the importance of perseverance, humility, and seeking support from others. He shares his aspirations for the future and his commitment to helping others on their path to recovery.

Jamil’s details

@copturnsentrepreneur

Connect with the show

Ahead of this International Women’s Day host Ray Donovan is joined by Sweta Sansara, who shares her personal story of overcoming alcohol addiction and sugar addiction. Sweta sheds light on her experience growing up as a Nepalese immigrant in the US, feeling like she didn't fit in, an eating disorder, alcohol addiction, being in the US Marines and eventually finding out her body metabolizes sugar into alcohol meaning she had to quit sugar too in her path to sobriety.  

Sweta’s Toolkit:

• Drug and alcohol counseling 

• 12-step program

• Trauma therapy

• Having a strong support system

• Setting boundaries

• Surrendering to a higher power

• Healthy habits such as meal planning

• Acceptance and trusting in the recovery process

• Therapeutic tools such as CBT

• Education and awareness about addiction and wellness

• Setting an example for her children 

Sweta's Journey with Alcohol and Food Addiction

Sweta opens up about her family history of alcoholism and how she started drinking at a young age. She shares how alcohol became a coping mechanism for her childhood trauma and struggles with fitting in due to cultural differences. Sweta also delves into her co-occurring eating disorder, highlighting the vicious cycle of using food and alcohol to numb her emotions.

Joining the Marines and Struggles with Addiction

Sweta recounts her decision to join the Marines as a way to overcome her addictions but ultimately faced challenges with drinking on the job and developing physical issues due to her lifestyle. Despite her efforts, Sweta's addiction continued, leading to a downward spiral.

Finding Sobriety and Then Learning About the Sugar Problem

After hitting rock bottom, Sweta sought help and found sobriety through addiction counseling. Five years later she discovered that her body was metabolizing sugar into alcohol and had to go through the process of giving up sugar. She says that this was much harder than giving up alcohol. She shares her journey of surrendering to a higher power and making significant lifestyle changes to break free from the cycle of addiction.

Family Dynamics and Cultural Stigma

Sweta reflects on the challenges of discussing addiction within her South Asian family and the cultural norms that influence their perceptions. She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and being an example for the next generation to break the cycle of addiction.

Sweta’s details 

Instagram: @sweta

In this episode Ray welcomes Miles Orman. Miles opens up about his struggles with alcohol and addiction, shedding light on his past experiences and how he found his way to recovery. He discusses generational alcohol abuse, being a high functioning alcoholic, holistic healing and the importance of community in healing.

Miles’ Toolkit 

• Personal development podcasts, e.g. Recovery Elevator podcast

• Becoming a certified nutrition coach 

• DDP Yoga 

• Fitness 

• Meditation and mindfulness practices

• Mindset coaching

Early Life and Influence

Miles shares how his relationship with alcohol was influenced by his mother's struggles with alcohol abuse and addiction. Growing up in a chaotic environment, he witnessed the negative impact of alcohol, which initially deterred him from drinking during his high school years.

College Experience

Upon entering college on a basketball scholarship, Miles was exposed to the party scene and binge drinking culture. This shift in environment led him to lose focus on his goals, affecting his performance on the court and in the classroom.

Transition to Adulthood

After college, Miles continued his binge drinking habits, eventually leading to a daily consumption of alcohol and the introduction of other substances. The pressures of adulthood, coupled with personal struggles, further fueled his addiction.

Turning Point

Miles discusses his decision to relocate to Florida, which served as a catalyst for change in his life. Through personal development, meditation, and physical fitness, he began to rebuild his life and work towards sobriety.

Finding Purpose

As Miles embarked on his journey to recovery, he discovered a passion for coaching and helping others. By sharing his story and creating a platform for mindfulness and self-awareness, he found a sense of purpose in guiding individuals towards a better life.

Reflection on Family

Miles reflects on his relationship with his mother and the impact of her addiction on their family dynamic. Despite the challenges, he acknowledges the importance of compassion and understanding in healing past wounds.

Advice for Others

Miles emphasizes the significance of seeking support and community when facing addiction. He encourages individuals to reach out for help, embrace patience, and believe in the possibility of change.

Miles’ details 

Childhood sexual abuse, undiagnosed bipolar disorder, a teenage preganancy, postpartum depression, a turbulent home life and losing a number of loved ones were all challenges Ami Hall faced in her early life. Alcohol and drugs offered her an escape from all of these things as Ami didn’t have the coping skills or a support network to help her out. 

She speaks openly and honestly with Ray about her journey, sharing things that have helped her and offering hope that there is another way to process difficult situations and emotions. 

Tools That Helped Ami Get Sober And Stay Sober

• Therapy and getting a bipolar diagnosis

• Tarot cards for awareness 

• Kick boxing to help her process her anger

• Learning to sit with her feelings

• Journaling

• Being honest with herself

• Being honest with others about not feeling ok

• Hula hoop dancing 

• Forming a sobriety community 

• Social media groups and communities 

Early Life 

Ami opens up about some of the struggles she faced in her early life. She reveals that her curiosity with drugs began in her teens, after she experienced sexual assault at the age of 10 and needed something to help her cope. Ami explains that she kept the assault to herself as she didn’t feel like she had anyone to talk to about it. 

She began drinking heavily and using Xanax to cope with her postpartum depression after giving birth at 19. Ami describes how alcohol provided her with a sense of freedom and helped her disconnect from her painful experiences and anxiety. She also mentions that working in the restaurant industry, where alcohol was prevalent, normalized her drinking habits.

Turning Point

The turning point in Ami's journey came when she experienced a mental breakdown in 2016 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. She spent time in a mental hospital and realized that she needed to make a change in her life. However, it took several attempts before Ami fully committed to sobriety. She finally decided to stop drinking in May 2021 after leaving a toxic relationship.

Therapy and Other Tools For Sobriety

Ami emphasizes the importance of therapy and self-reflection in her recovery. She started journaling and being honest with herself about her emotions and past traumas. Ami also found support in her hula hoop dancing community, where she connected with others who were on their own sobriety journeys. She started teaching hoop classes and workshops, using her platform to share her story and inspire others in their recovery journeys.

Advice for Anyone Struggling 

Ami encourages anyone struggling with addiction to reach out for support, whether it's from friends, online communities, or therapy. She emphasizes the importance of being honest with oneself and finding healthy coping mechanisms. Ami's story serves as a reminder that recovery is possible and that there is a community of people ready to offer support and understanding.

Connect with Ami

After 27 years of sobriety Tammi Scott has definitely learned a few things. She shares her experience and advice with Ray in this week’s Stack’n’Days podcast. She talks about her journey from being a single mother of three to getting sober in a 12 step program, from connecting with herself through yoga to becoming a teacher and a mentor in the sobriety space and eventually comin home to herself. Throughout the episode she talks about her experience as a black woman in the US and this ties in with her journey. 

Tammi’s Toolkit:

• 12 steps program

• Yoga

• Therapy

• Writing

• Learning about self compassion

• Hiking

• Community 

The Early Struggles

Tammi opens up about her early days as a single mother of three, using alcohol and drugs to cope. Overwhelmed and internally struggling, it took a therapist's insight to link her substance use with her depression, sparking the beginning of her self-discovery journey.

The 12-Step Program

Tammi shares her journey into the transformative 12-step program, underscoring its pivotal role in her recovery. Her first AA meeting marked a turning point, providing a sense of community and resonant stories. Tammi stresses the importance of supportive communities and mentors in the recovery process.

Holistic Healing

As Tammi progressed in recovery, she explored holistic healing modalities like yoga and writing. These practices deepened her self-understanding and offered comfort and grounding. Tammi emphasizes the significance of self-compassion and cultivating kindness towards oneself.

Ongoing Growth

Throughout the episode, Tammi acknowledges that recovery is an ongoing process. She urges mindfulness against complacency and emphasizes prioritizing sobriety, even during stable periods.

Healing as a Woman of Color

Tammi's experience as a woman of color has had a significant impact on her journey of recovery. Throughout her early days of sobriety, she faced the double-edged sword of being a person of color in predominantly white spaces. She felt the weight of societal expectations and the lack of support for women of color in professional settings. This added layer of complexity made it challenging for Tammi to fully express herself and find her place in the recovery community. Additionally, the racial injustices and violence against people of color deeply affected her, but she struggled to find understanding and empathy within the 12-step community. Despite these obstacles, Tammi has persevered and found her own path to healing and self-discovery, embracing her identity as a black woman and using her experiences to uplift and support others.

Current Involvements

Tammi is actively involved in facilitating sober support community meetings and co-teaching online sober courses both at The Luckiest Club. Her passion lies in sharing experiences and assisting others in their recovery journeys. Tammi plans to teach yoga, focusing on heart-centered work and creating spaces for healing and self-discovery.

Tammi’s details

Instagram: @QueenieT_

You don’t have to be “an alcoholic” to benefit from cutting out alcohol. In this episode Ken Makimsey Middleton talks about how quitting alcohol radically increased the positives in his life, and caused his business to grow exponentially. He also talks about how quitting alcohol has positively impacted his mental clarity, his health and his professional life. 

Ken's Journey with Alcohol

Ray and Ken explore the roots of Ken’s relationship with alcohol. Ken candidly shares how he used alcohol in college as a means to boost his confidence and fit into social circles. This pattern persisted throughout his career in sales, where alcohol was deeply ingrained in the job culture.

The Turning Point in 2017

In a pivotal moment in 2017, Ken decided to depart from his corporate role and embark on an entrepreneurial journey. He made the bold decision to abstain from alcohol for 90 days as he wanted to give his business his best effort. To his surprise, this experiment brought about substantial positive changes in his life, both professionally and personally. The financial gains, mental sharpness, and an enhanced sense of purpose made him reevaluate the role of alcohol in his life.

Creating "Alcohol Is Not Your Friend" and "Bamboozled"

This episode features a compelling and inspiring conversation with recovery coach Caleb Harris. Joining host Ray Donovan Caleb share’s his history of alcohol starting aged 10, feeling too black for the white kids and too white for the black kids, pornography addiction and navigating the difference between spirituality and organized religion. 

Early Introduction to Alcohol

Caleb opens up about his early encounter with alcohol at the tender age of 10, highlighting how it became a coping mechanism for him. As a young black boy, he shares his struggles of not feeling like he fit in anywhere, setting the stage for increased drinking during his formative teenage years and college.

Impact on Relationships and Well-Being

Caleb reflects on the profound impact his alcohol use had on various aspects of his life, from relationships to education and overall well-being. Caleb bravely shares the turning point in his life when he decided to quit drinking on January 2, 2019, emphasizing the importance of taking the recovery process one day at a time.

Faith and Addiction

As the son of a pastor, Caleb explores the challenges of reconciling his faith with the struggles of addiction. He sheds light on the lack of support and understanding within the church regarding addiction and mental health issues within the black community.

Porn Addiction

Caleb started to notice similar patterns in how he treated porn to how he treated alcohol. He saw it as another way of escaping the real world for a fantasy world. 

Recovery Program

Caleb attended a faith based recovery program called Celebrate Recovery by the Church of Nazarene. He said that while it is faith based it was not judgemental in any way.  

Becoming a Recovery Coach

Today, Caleb is a recovery coach and life coach, dedicating his efforts to helping black men navigate their journeys to sobriety and mental well-being. He discusses the significance of community, vulnerability, and self-care in the recovery process, drawing attention to faith-based programs like Celibate Recovery and other resources that provide safe spaces for open and honest conversations.

Tools for Managing Mental Health

Caleb shares the tools he uses in his own life, including prayer, meditation, physical exercise, and positive self-talk, as effective means of managing depression, anxiety, and stress. He encourages black men to break the cycle of silence and seek help when needed.

The Larger Message

Caleb's story illuminates the challenges faced by black men in addressing addiction and mental health issues within the context of their communities and faith. He provides hope and encouragement to those struggling, reminding them that they are not alone and that there is a path to recovery and healing.

Caleb’s details

Instagram: @amannamedcaleb

In this episode of Stack'n'Days, host Ray Donovan sits down with Chris Marshall, a remarkable individual on a transformative journey of sobriety and recovery. Recorded, once again, in Kenya, this conversation delves into Chris's experiences with alcohol, his desire for connections, the challenges he faced as a black man in the recovery community, and the inspiring creation of Sans Bar.

Chris’s First Experience with Alcohol 

Chris opens up about his introduction to alcohol at the age of 16, driven by a desire to fit in with his white friends. Despite initial disgust at the taste, he found a sense of connection through drinking. The conversation explores the rapid escalation of Chris's drinking habits, leading to a DUI and strained relationships.

The First Attempt at Treatment

At 23, Chris sought treatment for the first time but left prematurely, lacking full commitment to sobriety. Recognizing the need for change, he re-entered treatment a few months later, determined to stay sober. This marked the beginning of a journey towards belonging and connection within the recovery community.

Trust and Belonging in Recovery

Chris emphasizes the importance of trust, both in himself and in others, as a crucial element of his recovery journey. He shares insights into the challenges faced as a black man in the recovery community, particularly in Texas. Despite feeling like an outsider, Chris found support from other black individuals in recovery who understood his unique experiences.

The Birth of Sans Bar

In the latter part of the episode, Chris delves into the creation of Sans Bar in 2017, an alcohol-free space that stemmed from his desire to establish a fully accepting environment. Sans Bar was conceived as a space where individuals could be their authentic selves without leaving any part of their identity behind. Chris attributes the inspiration for Sans Bar to the support and love he received from others during his own recovery journey.

Chris’s details:

Welcome back to the second part of Joanne's extraordinary journey. In this episode of the Stack’n’Days podcast Joanne continues her chat with Ray. Joanne share’s about getting out of one last harmful relationship, her suicide support organisation and starting a non-alcoholic wine business. 

In part 1, Joanne shared about her childhood, her early experiences with alcohol, her son's death and her eventual sobriety as well as her experiences with several unhealthy relationships. We finished up as she was telling us about opening a BBQ restaurant with her partner at the time.

Navigating Toxic Relationships

Joanne, our resilient guest, takes us through a tumultuous period in her life, entangled in a toxic relationship. Dealing with narcissism, she reflects on the toll it took on her mental health. After two challenging years, she found the strength to walk away from both the relationship and her restaurant.

Choosing Sobriety Amid Turmoil

In the face of the narcissistic storm, Joanne emphasizes her unwavering commitment to sobriety. She reflects on how the memory of past struggles fueled her determination to never let alcohol regain control.

From Loss to Resilience

The aftermath of leaving both the toxic relationship and her restaurant unfolds, leading to a period of negotiation and financial settlements. Joanne finds herself devastated, losing her dream restaurant and moving back to Austin. Yet, from this loss, unexpected opportunities arise, showcasing her resilience.

A Culinary Comeback

Joanne, undeterred by setbacks, finds herself drawn back into the world of barbecue. A chance encounter with a passionate individual eager to pursue a career in barbecue, sparks a collaboration that evolves into a successful partnership named Barb's BQ.

Mental Health Advocacy

Joanne sheds light on the mental health community page she runs called "A Safe Place Inside Your Head," raising awareness about mental health issues, inspired by personal struggles inspired by the tragic loss of her son.

Serial Entrepreneurship

Joanne's journey extends into various realms, showcasing her as a serial entrepreneur. From somatic breathwork coaching and real estate to NLP-certified coaching, she exemplifies a commitment to personal growth and continuous learning.

Zero Proof Champion

A chance encounter with a zero-proof wine sparks Joanne's entry into the alcohol-free beverage business. Leveraging her entrepreneurial spirit, she becomes a champion for zero-proof options, organizing events and introducing others to the world of non-alcoholic alternatives.

Sobriety as the Cornerstone

Joanne attributes her myriad successes to her sobriety. The blessings that continue to unfold serve as a testament to her unwavering commitment to a sober lifestyle. Her openness about mental health struggles becomes a powerful tool for self-expression and connection.

Joanne’s details:

Instagram

Personal: @therealjoirizarry

NA wines: @zeroproofpopupbottleshop 

Mental health page: @asafeplaceinsideyourhead 

Connect with the show

Welcome to Stack'n'Days, the podcast that illuminates experiences of sobriety within the BIPOC community. In this special episode, the host, Ray Donovan, is recording in Lamu, Kenya, joined by guest Joanne. 

This is part 1 of a 2 part series with Joanne. This episode provides an in-depth exploration of Joanne's journey with alcohol—navigating trauma, abusive relationships, and the profound impact on personal and professional aspects of her life. 

Joanne's Journey Unveiled

Joanne opens up about her relationship with alcohol, tracing it back to her first drink at a church event during her teenage years. She candidly shares the challenges she faced after her family moved from New York to Texas for religious reasons, expressing feelings of unsafety and trauma. Joanne also delves into the instability brought about by her parents' divorce and her mother leaving the family.

Culinary Pursuits and Escalating Issues

Relocating to Austin, Texas, for culinary school did not mark the end of Joanne's struggles. Working as a personal chef for football players, her drinking persisted, and she felt increasingly powerless. Her son faced similar challenges with drugs and alcohol.

Desperate Measures and Turning Points

Desperation led Joanne to attend AA meetings, but she found it challenging to connect with the community. The fear of intervention, triggered by watching the show "Intervention," added to her apprehension. Months later, Joanne faced the consequences of her actions when she received her first DWI (Driving While Intoxicated).

Descent into Chaos

Joanne finds herself entangled in the legal consequences of her drinking. Facing not one but two DWIs, Joanne is forced to spend three days in jail, grappling with fear and uncertainty. The impact of her actions starts to unfold as she navigates the legal system, confronting the reality of probation and the challenges that lie ahead.

Tragedy Strikes

Amidst the chaos, a tragic turn of events shakes Joanne to her core. The podcast delves into the heartbreaking moment when Joanne receives news of her son's death while she's in jail. The emotional turmoil and shock of losing her son add a new layer to Joanne's struggle, reshaping her perspective and further intensifying her commitment to sobriety.

Navigating Grief and Sobriety

Joanne speaks about coping with grief. As she confronts the complexities of loss, Joanne grapples with the temptation to numb her pain with alcohol, a familiar coping mechanism that had once dominated her life.

From Rock Bottom to Resilience

Joanne discusses her rock-bottom moments, including the challenges of probation and having an ankle monitor. Joanne's resilience shines through as she shares the profound realization that she needed to stop drinking to rebuild her life. Joanne went through detox, rehab, and a transformative experience that alters her perspective on spirituality and recovery.

Building a New Chapter

Against all odds, Joanne and her partner embark on the ambitious journey of opening a barbecue restaurant. The challenges of venturing into an unfamiliar field, coupled with their commitment to sobriety, make for a captivating tale of resilience, determination, and the pursuit of a brighter future.

Part 2 of Joanne’s story will be out next Wednesday 27th December at 5am. Subscribe to the Stack’n’Days podcast so you don’t miss it.  

Joanne’s details:

Instagram

Personal: @therealjoirizarry

NA wines: @zeroproofpopupbottleshop 

Mental health page: @asafeplaceinsideyourhead 

Connect with the show

In this episode of Stack'n'Days, host Ray Donovan engages in a profound conversation with Stephanie, co-host of the So What Are You Reading? podcast. The focus is on Stephanie's journey through sobriety, motherhood and the culture around alcohol. Join us as Stephanie candidly shares her experiences, offering insights into her transformation and the positive impact sobriety has had on her life.

Stephanie's journey illuminates the transformative power of sobriety within BIPOC communities. Her narrative serves as a beacon of inspiration, encouraging others to seek support, adopt healthy coping mechanisms, and pursue activities that bring joy and fulfillment. Join us in this empowering episode of Stack'n'Days, where real stories pave the way for positive change.

Mommy Wine Culture 

Stephanie begins by narrating her relationship with alcohol, which burgeoned later in life, especially after becoming a parent. She delves into the influence of the pervasive "mommy wine culture" and how she initially used alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress and self-reward. The discussion unfolds around the realization that her drinking was impinging on her ability to be the mother she aspired to be.

Pivotal Moments in Becoming Sober 

Stephanie shares two pivotal moments that propelled her towards change. The first, a post-graduation night of heavy drinking, left her with a hazy memory and a profound sense of regret. The second, a debilitating hangover on New Year's Day, served as a wake-up call, prompting her to acknowledge the unsustainable nature of her lifestyle.

Tools and Strategies for Sobriety

The conversation shifts to the tools and strategies Stephanie employed on her sobriety journey. She found solace in online communities, like the Sober Cafe Facebook group, fostering connections with others on similar paths. Social media, particularly Instagram, became a source of inspiration and motivation. Stephanie emphasizes the importance of engaging in joyous non-alcoholic activities, from puzzles to ballet, that contribute to a fulfilling, alcohol-free life.

Navigating Social Challenges

Addressing the challenges of sobriety in social situations, especially in the alcohol-centric restaurant industry where she works, Stephanie recounts her experiences. Supportive colleagues and friends have played a pivotal role, respecting her sobriety without applying pressure. She says she safeguards herself from situations or individuals that could jeopardize her commitment to sobriety.

Sobriety as a Parent

As a mother, Stephanie reflects on how sobriety has transformed her parenting journey. Being present and reliable for her son, she now creates lasting memories and experiences, showcasing the profound impact sobriety has had on her family life.

So What Are You Reading? Podcast

The episode concludes with an exploration of Stephanie's own podcast, So What Are You Reading? that she hosts with her best friend. Here, she dives into her passion for reading and how the podcast serves as a platform for connecting with fellow book enthusiasts. She invites any listeners who enjoy reading to listen and apply to be a guest if they would like to.

Stephanie’s details

In this episode of Stack'n'Days, host Ray Donovan sits down with Brandon Jackson to explore his transformative journey from early exposure to alcohol to the creation of the Recovery Road online community and Santana's Foundation. Brandon opens up about the challenges he faced, detailing the downward spiral into addiction and the profound impact it had on his life. The conversation delves into the pivotal moments that led Brandon to rock bottom and how he found a path to recovery.

Brandon particularly highlights the systemic inequality that shaped his journey with alcohol, which is exemplary of a lot of people’s experience in the US.  

Early Exposure to Alcohol

Brandon reflects on his early encounters with alcohol and how they shaped his relationship with it as he grew older. The discussion emphasizes the lasting impact of such exposures on one's relationship with substances in adulthood.

The narrative unfolds as Brandon shares insights into his life in Southwest Atlanta, providing context for the challenges and influences that shaped his experiences with addiction.

Brandon talks about living in different disadvantaged areas of the US and the impact living in these areas had on his alcohol use. He mentions the difficulty trying to buy vegetables when he lived in DC, which involved 3 buses and 3 trains, as opposed to the availability of alcohol as he had two liquor stores a short walk away from his home.  

Reaching Rock Bottom

A turning point in Brandon's journey, reaching rock bottom becomes a powerful moment that prompts him to seek help and make positive changes in his life.

Brandon discusses the importance of transparency in the recovery process, highlighting the role of openness and self-reflection in personal growth and healing.

Creating the Recovery Road Space

Brandon and Ray discuss the inception of the Recovery Road online Reddit community, a space Brandon created to provide support and resources for individuals navigating the challenges of recovery.

Transition to Santana's Foundation

The conversation shifts to Santana's Foundation, an organization founded by Brandon to extend support and resources to those in need. The episode explores the foundation's mission and impact.

Collaboration with the Universe

Brandon shares insights into his philosophy of collaboration with the universe, discussing how recognizing this collaboration can shape one's journey towards recovery and personal growth.

The discussion delves into the profound meaning of happiness for Brandon, emphasizing the importance of gratitude, patience, and connections with the community.

Taking the First Step in the Healing Process

Brandon identifies the crucial first step in the healing process for him – awareness. Brandon shares his insights into recognizing the need for change and embarking on the journey towards recovery.

Acknowledging that mental health is a deeply personal journey, the episode emphasizes the significance of respecting and understanding each individual's unique experience.

Brandon’s details

@bandonbehappy

@Santanasfund

https://www.santanasfoundation.org/ 

Connect with the show

Host Ray Donovan engages in a profound conversation with Daryl Palmer, a 43-year-old from Arlington, Virginia, who bravely shares his tumultuous journey through addiction and the path to sobriety.

The Normalization of Alcohol

Daryl unveils the roots of his struggles, recounting how alcohol was normalized in his family and community from a young age. The episode delves into his teenage years, where he found solace, freedom, and false confidence in alcohol. This initial experimentation evolved into a coping mechanism for anxieties and insecurities, coupled with brief encounters with marijuana and other drugs.

Escalation: From Alcohol to Opioids

The narrative takes a darker turn as Daryl recounts the escalation of his addiction when introduced to opioids, specifically Percocet and Vicodin. He vividly describes the intense highs and the transient escape these substances provided, propelling him into a devastating spiral of addiction, legal troubles, and multiple cycles of detox and rehabilitation.

Rock Bottom and Redemption

In a pivotal moment in 2015, Daryl found himself at rock bottom—found unconscious in his car and subsequently arrested. Behind bars, a counselor introduced him to Drug Court, a program offering intensive therapy and life skills classes. Daryl seized this as an opportunity for redemption, committing wholeheartedly to turning his life around.

The Role of Therapy and Self-Honesty

Daryl emphasizes the pivotal role of therapy in his recovery journey, unraveling the layers of trauma and neglect that fueled his addiction. He underscores the importance of self-honesty as a foundation for sustainable progress, shedding light on the transformative power of confronting one's own demons.

Rebuilding Relationships and Trust

Navigating the challenges of rebuilding relationships, particularly with his children, Daryl shares insights into the significance of consistency and vulnerability. He acknowledges the time and patience required to rebuild trust, recognizing the impact of his past actions on his family.

Daryl's wife has been a pillar of support throughout his recovery, engaging in therapy and personal growth alongside him. Together, they strengthened their bond as they worked on their individual personal growth.

Connect with Daryl

IG and Tiktok: progession_365 

Welcome to another empowering episode of Stack'n'Days, the podcast that delves deep into the sobriety experience within BIPOC communities. In today's installment, your host, Ray Donovan, engages in a candid conversation with Eddie Randle, a journalist and news anchor. Eddie unveils his journey through sobriety and the profound impact it has had on his life.

Childhood issues leading to addiction 

Eddie takes us back to his teenage years in rural Texas, sharing the early signs of his battle with alcohol and drug addiction. He recounts how food was his original addiction and he was overweight as a child. He used substances as an escape mechanism, attempting to blend in with his peers. The podcast sheds light on the challenges Eddie faced in reconciling his sexuality with the conservative Christian values prevalent in his household.

A wake-up call on live TV

One of Eddie’s rock bottoms was a dramatic incident – a car crash while intoxicated on live television. This event triggered a suspension from his job and a stark realization that his drinking is not only harming himself but also those around him. Eddie reflects on the fear and anger that gripped him during this tumultuous period, emphasizing the pivotal role played by his therapist and supportive friends.

Embracing sobriety

Eddie's path to sobriety commenced with 12-step meetings and therapy sessions. He highlights the necessity of addressing underlying issues, such as childhood trauma and feelings of inadequacy, as fundamental to his recovery. The podcast underscores the significance of acceptance and forgiveness in Eddie's journey, both towards himself and his family.

Impact on relationships and career

Throughout the episode, Eddie shares insights into how sobriety has transformed his relationships and career. By openly discussing his recovery, he has created connections with others and provided a platform for individuals to share their own sobriety stories. Eddie reflects on the ongoing challenges of maintaining sobriety and the crucial role of routine and self-care in his daily life.

Resilience, growth, and acceptance

Eddie Randle's story epitomizes resilience, growth, and finding acceptance through sobriety. His experiences serve as an inspiration, particularly within the BIPOC community, highlighting the significance of support, self-reflection, and embracing one's authentic self on the path to recovery.

Eddie’s details:

Facebook: Eddie Randle

Instagram: @myzeroprooflife

X: @eddierandle 

The Stack'n'Days podcast is back, this time with video. In the first episode of season 2 host Ray Donovan chats with guest Chris Elliot to delve into her powerful journey of sobriety as a  mixed race person. Chris's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, as she triumphs over a tumultuous past and paves the way for a brighter future.

Chris Elliot share’s her story with vulnerability and takes us on a journey of trauma, sobriety, and the incredible power of healing. Her story is a beacon of hope and inspiration for those who have battled with addiction, offering a guiding light towards a brighter, sober future.

Growing Up in the Shadows of Addiction

Chris's story begins with her upbringing in a family burdened by the weight of addiction. She candidly opens up about her father's struggle with alcoholism and the traumatic experiences she endured during her childhood. The scars of abuse and neglect cast long shadows over her early years, painting a bleak backdrop for her life.

Escaping Through Alcohol

As Chris matured, she found solace in alcohol as a means of escaping the turmoil of her environment and as a coping mechanism for the trauma she carried. She takes us through her college years, where her drinking habits took a darker turn and began to erode her life, causing havoc in various aspects.

Professional and Personal Rock Bottoms

Chris reflects on the hurdles she faced in her career due to her addiction, including a painful job termination. The relentless grip of alcoholism led her down a perilous path, causing her to hit rock bottom.

A Father's Passing and Unresolved Emotions

The turning point in Chris's journey came with the passing of her father. She shares the initial sense of relief intermingled with a flood of complex emotions and unanswered questions. The passing of her father forced her to confront the intricate relationship they shared and the unresolved issues she had been carrying for so long. This profound event became the catalyst for her journey towards sobriety.

The Path to Recovery and Self-Discovery

Chris describes how she checked herself into a sober living facility and fully immersed herself in the process of recovery. She began attending multiple Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings daily and dedicated her time to volunteer work, seeking purpose and connections. With the aid of therapy and deep self-reflection, she started to make sense of her emotions and work through her trauma.

Redefining Identity and Coping Mechanisms

Throughout the episode, Chris emphasizes the significance of removing alcohol as an option and discovering healthier coping mechanisms. She openly acknowledges the challenges of reconstructing her identity and finding her true self. Additionally, Chris discusses her relationship with her brother, who also grapples with addiction, and how they've supported one another on their respective journeys to recovery.

Intersecting Traumas and the Power of Healing

Chris's story illustrates the profound impact of intergenerational trauma within the BIPOC community and the strength of healing and self-discovery in conquering addiction. She emphasizes the vital role of support systems, therapy, and crafting a new narrative for yourself. 

Chris’s details

Instagram: krees1029

TikTok: @chris_in_the_cut

The Stack ‘n’ Days Podcast explores and highlights the stories of people of color on their individual pursuits of an alcohol free lifestyle. Host Ray Donovan, along with his guests, will discuss how alcohol disproportionately affects communities of color and lend perspective on how the macro issues relate to our micro experiences. It is a place to listen to an underrepresented group in the sober universe, offering a non-white point of view to the challenges and triumphs of making the decision to pursue a healthier, alcohol-free lifestyle.

In this episode of the Stack'n'Days podcast, host Ray Donovan welcomes Leia Baez, an author, speaker, and sobriety advocate. Leia shares that she has been sober for four years and talks about her journey overcoming childhood trauma and the societal expectation to drink alcohol. 

Struggles with binge drinking and unhealthy relationships 

Leia opens up about her experiences with binge drinking and partying, starting in high school and continuing into college. Despite maintaining good grades and receiving a full scholarship, she had a darker side involving substance abuse. She also noticed herself gravitating towards unhealthy relationships and making poor decisions. Leia's struggle with alcohol began at the age of 13 and continued until she quit drinking in 2019.

Relationship between trauma and substance abuse 

Leia discusses the connection between trauma and substance abuse. Growing up in a Mexican American household religion and resilience were the main coping mechanisms Leia was taught about, rather than therapy and healing. However, she later realized that she was hurting and had been holding in emotions from childhood trauma. She used alcohol to sooth this pain. 

Overcoming alcohol addiction 

Leia’s path to overcoming alcohol addiction was not always smooth. She had several moments that showed her how important it was that she give up alcohol but she didn’t fully commit until she was diagnosed with a tumour and had to undergo a hysterectomy. Her uncle had recently passed away due to complications from cancer involving alcohol. While Leia was out for the surgery she had a vision of her uncle appearing and told her she didn't have to drink. She felt that this was a spiritual awakening in her life. 

Denial and addiction 

Leia discusses her struggle with alcohol addiction and her initial denial of being the problem. She mentions losing custody of her daughter, moving back in with her parents, and feeling demoted in life. Leia admits to using alcohol as a way to grieve but not taking responsibility for things. It is only through therapy and spiritual experiences that she begins to acknowledge her addiction.

Overcoming trauma and finding freedom 

Leia shares her personal journey of losing custody of her daughter, going through a divorce, and facing the impact of alcohol on her life. She discusses how therapy helped her uncover past trauma. Leia also talks about experiencing “drunk dreams” and being diagnosed with PTSD. She emphasizes the importance of healing and owning your story, even if it takes years to do so.

Finding support in sobriety 

Leia emphasizes the importance of having mentors and support systems in various aspects of life, including sobriety. She mentions her "sober support sisters", who all help each other on their journeys. Leia highlights the comfort and empowerment she felt being surrounded by successful women who acknowledged their struggles and the importance of admitting to having a problem.

Key components in the sobriety journey

In this episode of the Stack'n'Days podcast, host Ray Donovan interviews Wilner Joseph, a motivational speaker, community leader and activist who uses sport to help children with various challenges. Wilner talks about his background, his mission with his different organizations, and his efforts to bring resources to his community.

Wilner and Ray discuss the importance of spirituality, self-care, and having positive influences in your life. 

Wilner's relationship with alcohol 

Wilner discusses his early relationship with alcohol, which started in his early teens as a way to fit in with older men and impress women. He talks about how alcohol is condoned in Caribbean households and how this can be detrimental later in life. 

Wilner continued to indulge in alcohol throughout college and into adulthood, which had negative effects on his physical and mental health. He credits his faith with saving him from potential harm caused by his alcohol use.

Giving up alcohol 

Wilner talks about his decision to quit alcohol cold turkey and how attending meetings helped him realize the importance of giving up something that wasn't doing anything good in his life. He also mentions the negative consequences of drinking and driving, including the loss of his nephew.

Using fashion to honor his brother's legacy and address gun violence 

Wilner shares that his brother was murdered in 2017. In his memory Wilner started a clothing brand inspired by his brother's passion for fashion. The project, called Million Dollar Smile, aims to raise awareness about gun violence through T-shirts with the slogan "No More Silence and Gun Violence." 

The conversation then shifts to the role of alcohol in violent situations, with Wilner acknowledging that drug and alcohol use often play a part in such incidents. In his community, Wilner tried to address this issue by promoting positive messages and being a role model for youth.

Importance of spirituality and forgiveness in overcoming grief and addiction 

Wilner discusses the importance of spirituality in his daily life, including reading the Bible, praying, and hosting a prayer circle. He believes that removing religion and God from schools and homes has contributed to societal issues such as mass shootings and mental health problems.