Just do the thing!
Define success on your own terms
If you're going to do a thing, do it well, and do it for its own sake!
Plan with an ending in mind
An enterprise's basic metric of success is survivability
Writing as an act of conjuration (imagination + focus)
Ideas never expressed and materialized not only fail to succeed but may fail to exist!
A world of secrets, shadows
And the creatures that dwell in it
Spies, thieves, politicians
Crooks, liars and killers
It is the world about
And a mirror of within
A poem of dark ideation that I wrote c. 2005.
I hope that it speaks to you on a deep level. If suicide is something that you are now or have ever considered, know that you're not alone and that many people have been where you stand now. It is never beyond hope, please reach out to someone - anyone - that you care about, even if you think that they may not understand.
I am in no position to offer professional advice, but know that no matter what darkness you find yourself in, there is always a light to go toward if only you will allow yourself.
Forgive yourself, love yourself. Life is precious, even when it's at it hardest.
Yours in love and light,