Stoic leadership
By Steven Di Pietro
The deeply respected friends are those who remain calm.
Stoicism is a 2,000 year old philosophy which you can adapt to your leadership at work, or in your personal life.
If it was good enough for Emperor Marcus Aurelius of Rome, it may be good enough for us.
To me, stoicism merges questions of meaning of life, consciousness and the practicalities of functioning as the best human you can be.
This podcast is a diary which touches on a different topic of stoicism each post.
Stoic leadershipJan 13, 2020
EP51 - On rewards
Why should we do the right thing, just because it's right? Or because we want to?
Doing the right thing for the right reasons requires no balloons, pats on the back or acknowledgment from a loved one. Seneca says I must be just; without reward. The deed itself offers a greater return. It makes no difference how many people are aquatinted with your uprightness. Strive for virtue, not renown. Seneca Letter 113. On the vitality of the soul and its attributes
EP50 - What is some good I can get from myself today?
Bad habits and accidental habits are easy. They require no work, they just into our lives and remain, seemingly forever. The problem with habits (intentional habits) is that they initially require a lot of work, but the payback is enormous and they can be stacked indefinitely on top of each other.
EP49 - Finding the hidden recesses of uncontrollable guilt
Personal development is a lifelong work. Stoicism is no different.
Despite trying my best to be stoic, I found a hidden corner of failure.
The COVID-19 virus exposed me to a litany of blind spots I didn't know I had. I was still in the vice grip of uncontrollable events lurking deep in my sub-conscious.
Photo by Kaique Rocha from Pexels
EP48 - Getting thoughts out of your head
We all know the feeling of laying in bed with thoughts endlessly swirling around.
How do we get those thoughts out of our head?
You need to put them there.
The answer is in the simplicity
Cover photo Photo by Miguel Á. Padriñán from Pexels
EP 47 - What would less look like?
Stoicism teaches us to look inward, and to do more with less. Prior to COVID-19 it was difficult to imagine how much I could trim.
I delayed buying a new car, cut back going to dinner, had less exotic holidays.
Braver people then I may have even abstained. But I couldn’t cut things back all the way because of social pressure and the lack of imagination.
From my blog series here
EP46 - Counterfeit advice
We are wary of counterfeit money in certain circumstances but are less wary of counterfeit ideas from others or even ourselves.
From my blog series here
EP45 - A fisherman who can't fish
A fisherman who cannot go to sea prepares his nets.
I grew up with kids who’s fathers were fisherman. I remember how on windy days they’d have fishing nets strewn along the length of their huge concrete driveway. The father and grandfather would stand over the nets with big needles and plastic twine repairing tears. Then they’d deal with the ropes, plastic bubbles and bits of chain.
They wouldn’t do this every time they couldn’t fish, only when they knew they would have an extended period out of the sea. It took a lot of effort to unload the nets, take them home, and go through the whole process.
I’m no longer busy. I have nothing I ‘have’ to do. The COVID-19 pandemic has seen to that.
I’m in my 50s and, for the first time since high school, I have nowhere to be, nothing to do. It feels a little like the first few days of summer break from school.
Now what?
From my blog series here
EP44 - It's never as bad as it gets
As we battle through this 2020 pandemic, it's easy to feel that things can't get much worse. They can get much worse but they probably won't.
From my blog series here
EP 43 - Dealing with stress with gratitude and journalling
I've had an extremely stressful time running my business through the 2020 Covid pandemic.
Stoic practice has lots of ways of dealing with stress but in this podcast I've gone for a conscious stream of thought which focuses on two things gratitude and journaling.
I know too many people it might sound fuzzy and impractical, but let me leave you with this thought about journaling. The only way to get something out of your head is to put it somewhere. Journaling is a great way to put those thoughts somewhere that is not inside your head.
From my blog series here
EP42 - Was COVID-19 meant to be?
Should I be fatalistic toward the future?
I write this in the middle of Covid-19 pandemic.
It’s easy to think, ‘oh it’s not fair’. If only that person in China who first contracted the disease didn’t go to that seafood market. If only I would have save more money. If only, if only, if only.
There is a great saying suggesting we should not cry over spilled milk. This is a profoundly deep stoic thought.
The Stoics were fatalists. This means that whatever happened was meant to happen and whatever happens will happen regardless of whatever happens.
From my blog series here
EP41 - Never explain yourself
Throughout my life I’ve had to explain myself. Why won’t you eat your dinner? Why did you come home at 3 am? Why didn’t you study more?
Why didn’t you train harder?
As I get older, it seems, the more I stick my head up, the more I need to explain myself.
Why did you do it like this, or that, or I thought we would do this instead?
In order to please people, I’ll give an explanation, any explanation. This comes from my inability to say no.
I am here on my journey and not even I understand the reason I do things.
From my blog series here
EP40 - Being a stoic leader in practice
I run a business and we are decimated by the stupid Covid-19 virus.
Here's how I've used all the tools I've learnt to navigate with firing staff, shuttling the office and dealing with suppliers who have gone broke.
It's never too late to get on board.
From my blog series here
EP39 - Stand in the sunshine
We can lean on ancient philosophies to get through these hard times.
The philosophies have been around for over 2,000 years and multiple plagues and disasters.
Here are 4 steps to get through tough times and find the sun.
From my blog series here
EP38 - What would it be like to focus on the present?
It feels natural to focus on the past and the future. We can get caught up with past decisions, regrets, or even reminiscing about the good times.
Like everyone, I worry about the future and all it holds.
“No one can lose either the past or the future, for how can someone be deprived of what’s not theirs?” Marcus Aurelius.
To focus on the present is all we have. All the good times (and bad times) in my life are irrelevant now. I need to be indifferent to the past, and the future.
From my blog series here
EP37 - Is arrogance good or bad?
Is arrogance good or bad?
Sometimes it’s seen as a strength. We commonly refer to strong leaders with romantic notions of walking through a crowd with quiet arrogance. It’s seen as a sign of confidence, of someone on top of their game, provided it is not unjustified.
But deep down, it’s not one of those terms I want to be associated with. It is one of those terms that has negative connotations.
“The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance.” ~ Samuel Butler
Why is it seen considered a negative trait?
Mark Twain said it simply, but in a manner that required great thought.
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
From my blog series here
EP36 - On bad luck. Is it inevitable?
When something terrible happens, I’m quick to respond with “oh bad luck”.
Similarly, during bad times I (like many people), am hopeful of good times ahead. I hope that eventually my luck will turn.
This belief in a future positive circumstance is called hope. And we all believe in hope in one way or another.
“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one” ~ John Lennon.
So pervasive is our need for hope that we hope for hope. We hope for good luck in the future.
From my blog series here
EP35 - On ideas
On not implementing ideas and being jealous of those who steal, or actually implement your idea.
I've neen through it. We all have. Here is aa way to deal with it.
From my blog series here
EP34 - On tough decisions, firing someone.
Today I was tested. I had to fire someone who was fast becoming a friend. The person was doing a good job, and I liked him, but the business conditions had changed so dramatically that it made it difficult to keep him employed. My stoic practice helped immensely with this process despite there being a seeming contradiction with one of the four virtues of Stoicism.
Further blog articles can be found at https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog
EP33 - What's the hidden cost?
What does it cost to buy something? Sure there is the monetary consideration. A croissant cost you a couple of dollars. A car might cost me tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars. I know with a car there is the added cost of insurance, maintenance and fuel. But there are hidden costs like the cost to garage the vehicle. But if I look deeper I can find even more costs.
From my blog series here
EP32 - What distinguishes us as humans?
What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to be uniquely human? Stoic philosophy dictates that we should live a virtuous life, that is, our most excellent life, being our most excellent self. This rumination looks at the question of what is at the core of being human.
From my blog series here
EP31 - Is satisfactory enough?
“How’s your day going?”
“Yeah OK thanks.”
Does this mean you’re happy? Happiness is the goal for many of us.
We’d rather be happy than sad.
Are you happy with your new job? Yeah, I’m happy with my new job.
At what point do I become happy as opposed to unhappy?
Is there a line? Of course not.
Happiness is a spectrum between unhappy and happy.
Sounds right, but it’s not that simple. Happiness requires context. Once you find that, you’ll find that happiness doesn’t require anything.
From my blog series here
EP30 - Is turbulence bad?
Sometimes we just have to switch off. Sitting on a plane, bus or car gives us a chance to stop. Despite going 900km an hour, a plane gives me solitude. A plane gives me a reason to stop. I can’t get up and walk around. I can’t go chat to a friend. I’m stuck there in seat 13F in a bubble made of strangers.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/4/17/diary-30-is-turbulence-bad-stoic-stoicism
EP29 - How do you define success?
This longer podcast recording is from an interview I did with Warwick Merry from the Get More Success podcast. Unit we talk about what it's like to run a company with 50,000 contractors over multiple times zones, but more importantly it's about how we define success. We dig into specifics about how I philosophy (stoic or otherwise) can help manage a business. #stoicism #stoic #getmoresuccess
Full blog article here
Photo by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels
EP28 - Why be stoic?
What has the stoic way taught me? Calmness, strength, and a practical way to live my best life. My life philosophy is the same. It’s reading and doing. I respect wisdom which has survived thousands of years, but I need to do things myself. So far it’s taught me how to stay level. To enjoy more of life and to deal with the storms. Ultimately the goal is to be the best version of myself. In this Podcast I'll examine what this means.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/4/13/diary-28-why-be-stoic-stoic-stoicism
EP27 - am I certain I can’t leave things unsaid?
I want to impart my knowledge. I need to say something. I’m well read, clever, and can talk. What a dangerous combination. My brother used to ask me “why do you always have to fill silence with your voice”. When he first said it, I saw it as a badge of honour. I assumed the quiet had nothing to say. I also assumed the quiet weren’t thinking at all. Speaking is often just another impulse. It’s the verbalisation of unfiltered thought. Sometimes it’s not even a thought. Sometimes it’s a verbalisation of ego. Leaving things unsaid is good training to tame the sub conscious. But it’s also the right thing to do. Silence allows the others to speak and think. As a leader, the silence of the leader is powerful than a speech. Silence is action. Silence is a confident statement to say: ‘“I trust you and my team” I’ll keep my voice for when I’m being asked for an opinion.
Image and attribution here.
Full blog article here
EP26 - am I happy with my portions, and are they worth it?
We constantly want more more more. Often have that feeling that I haven't got my just desserts. Epictetus teaches us to loosen our hand in the goody jar. We need to recognise those costs of the costs don't need to deter from our enjoyment.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/3/15/diary-26-am-i-happy-with-my-portions-stoic-stoicism
EP25 - training against false impressions
How do I train against false impressions? Do I even need to? False impressions happen based on the emotion which comes from putting my lens on things. It comes from doing things and thinking things to suit my own agenda. ....... After the gut feel is made, I need the courage to question that gut feel. The gut feel is the starting point. It's the starting point which needs to be disproven or proven. But either way it can't be used on its own. Relying on gut feel is simply lazy.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/3/14/diary-25-training-against-false-impressions-stoic-stoicism
EP24 - How close is the next storm? And how to thrive in it.
That big payday seems a lifetime ago. I remember the day well. It was only three days ago. My business received some large outstanding payments which were crippling us. I celebrated. I even bought champagne. But I knew, I knew that it was only temporary. The good times don’t last long. ........................... When the bad news came, it surprised my staff. My calmness surprised them. I could see their darting eyes looking at each other, waiting, waiting for a queue to jump in and throw metaphorical stones into the pit of disaster that was unfolding. I stayed calm. I sat in the middle of the room and we calmly talked it out. There were disagreements to be sure, but there wasn’t a single swear word or a raised voice. ........ Stoicism makes the hard times easier. It can also help me appreciate the good times more markedly. ..... This stoic approach of calmness and logic made the bad time perversely (somewhat) enjoyable. This never used to be me. I’m a passionate arm-waving fast talking emotional Italian. But I’ve learnt negative actualisation. I’ve thought of the exact disaster scenario. I’ve thought of what it would be like to lose the client altogether. I’ve emotionally played it in my head. I’ve played out how I’d be told, and how I’d feel. I was prepared for when it happened.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/2/19/ep24-how-close-is-the-next-storm-and-how-to-survive-it-stoic-stoicism
EP23 - on quiet jealousy & how to avoid it
I recently found myself being jealous of my cousin.. I was jealous of their situation and angry with myself. Not them. But I know nothing of how long they’ll be semi-retired. I know nothing of their expected lifestyle. I don’t know if they’ve inherited money. I don’t know anything. .......... Joseph Epstein put it perfectly, "Of the 7 deadly sins, only envy is no fun at all". .......... Being jealous of one activity should not extrapolate to a whole person. Sure she may wish she could travel like I do, but, does she really want to be me? She has no reason to be jealous of all of me, and nor should I of her. And we are the closest of relatives. We really understand each other. We are super close. So how misguided would be my jealousy of a mere acquaintance or a stranger? I need to keep training my mind to recognise these emotions. Then I can deal with them. Awareness is everything.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/3/11/diary-24-on-quiet-raging-jealousy-and-how-to-avoid-it-stoic-stoicism
EP22 - Having Hero's
When are we personally successful? When is our business a success? What should we measure ourselves against? I may want to learn from specific behaviours but not be the person I'm mimicking. I want to speak like Obama, but I'll never collect his speaking fee. We are all on different journeys. The stoic journey is through the controllable internal, not the external.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/3/7/diary-22-having-heroes-stoic-stoicism
EP21 - Do without
I’ve got a little secret to tell. Yes I am the CEO of a company and founder, and a lot of people will see from my social media that I travel a lot. It would give the impression that I leave the rich at high life. But nothing could be further from the truth. I actually lead to very humble life and some of that has been forced upon me. (Bad financial decisions). I also drive a very old car. It’s a 10-year Ford Fiesta With 200,000 km. Recently I’ve been thinking about replacing it. Second gear doesn’t really work since my daughter took the car a few years ago, the cruise control is broken and it has squeaks. But it works. I’ve been thinking about replacing it with a tesla. I love the idea of the ultimate car technology and removing one more carbon consuming car on the road. I was recently looking On their website and I got that familiar little tingly feel you get when you get closer to that thing that you’ve been wanting to buy for a long time. I was getting closer and closer. But then I thought of Seneca and Epictetus and their stoic advice to practice poverty. This doesn’t mean to go without food necessarily. But it means to go without period. So I’ve resisted the new car quite awhile and I occasionally have these flashes of thoughts to buy the new one. But I think back to the practicality. Am I trying to impress people? Am I trying to impress myself? Do I really want to save the planet that badly? Surely I could buy a cheaper version of an electric vehicle? So I’m going to resist a little bit more. My life goes on regardless. It’s no worse and it’s no better. I got back from work today just fine and the world will keep spinning. The stoic philosophy is all about training the mind to do the things that get you towards tranquility in the long term and not to succumb to spikes of impulse. Now I might buy the car sometime in the future, but I’ve resisted for quite some time now and I’m going to resist a little longer. Perhaps until the card dies altogether.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/3/5/diary-21-do-without-stoic-stoicism
EP20 - Which of my pleasures are really punishments?
The pleasures which take me from tranquillity other ones which are like a wolf in sheep‘s clothing. Is tranquility better than fun? Drinking has countless costs and punishes us with hangovers and bad decisions. But it’s fun for a short term. It releases stress. But we know the toll on our bodies and our emotional well-being can be enormous. The costs are not just financial, but they are costs in terms of maintenance and headaches. Where will I store the JetSki? I have to get the car fixed. I have to think about travel insurance. .................................. The problem is not that we are attached to our positions. Rather that our possessions have so many attachments. We have to deal with these positions in actions or in thoughts. Each possession has numerous tentacles into our life. It’s in my power whether I get attached to a position. However, it is not in my power to detach myself. .............................. All pleasures have a cost, even love. The cost of love is freedom. The ultimate love is the love of a child. Before my kids were born, I could decide to do something at 1 pm and it was pretty much within my power whether I did it. But once a child is born, if they fall asleep at 12:45 just before I have to go out, I cannot longer go out. My freedom is compromised. ........................... All pleasures have a cost. Account for it. When the cost exceeds the pleasure, it becomes a punishment.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/2/14/diary-20-which-of-my-pleasures-are-really-punishments-keynote-speaker
EP19 - For what have I sold my peace of mind?
In life and business all we want are a few moments of peace. Three things: distractions, diversions and avoidance. Rationally, they get me nowhere, and they certainly don't get me towards my goals. Distractions are an empty cost with no return. If these distractions got me closer to peace of mind, then they would make sense. But they don't. The cost is enormous because the return is less than zero; it is negative. I equate these distractions, diversions and avoidance to gambling. The more you undertake the activity, the more you lose. You may have a momentary hit of dopamine with a short term win, but ultimately you lose. Even if I get all these things impediments under control, will I ever feel like the business (or my life) is going well. Will I ever feel at peace? Probably not. Going well? What does that mean? When does that happen? Expect leadership and life to be hard. You will never keep riding the crest of a wave because it eventually crashes onto the sand. Even the wins are small. Business and work are hard. Expect it to be. Stoics know this, stoics practice this. As a leader, I have one job: to think of what's controllable, then taking ‘actions' on those things which I can control. So whenever my peace is endangered, I simply take a step, regardless of how big it is. But I only make those steps are for things I control, not for things that make me happy. Ultimately, this brings tranquility. Long-term tranquility or a spurt of happiness. I decide.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/2/13/diary-19-for-what-have-i-sold-my-peace-of-mind-keynote-speaker
EP18 - The power to resist
I will go 24 hours without food at least once a week. Why would I do that? We know we have to do important, uncomfortable things in life. We know we need to do the uncomfortable. Do something uncomfortable every day they say. But doing the uncomfortable hurts. We avoid it. How can I get more self-discipline? ........ The way you get better at self-control is to exercise the muscle, like anything else. You need to train for it physically and emotionally through negative visualisations. But I’ll leave those for another day’s reflections. Physical self-control comes from practice. If you want to get better at resisting temptation, then resist temptation. Sounds ridiculous. ........... I remember the last time I walked with my soft urbanite feet on rocky ground; it was painful because my feet are unnaturally soft. ........ We try to resist eating sugary foods, but when it’s time for dessert at a fancy dinner, we cave in. We have lost the strength to say no. We avoid firing a senior manager because we don’t want the pain and inconvenience of replacing them. Self-Discipline (or temperance) is about knowing how to act and feel despite emotions such as a strong desire, inner resistance, or lust. Self-discipline includes orderliness, self-control, forgiveness, and humility. It opposes the vice of excess. So how do you train for it? Use anything as a proxy, practice any way you can........ The more I train, the easier my life becomes.
https://www.stevendipietro.com/blog/2020/2/11/diary18-the-power-to-resist-keynote-speaker
EP17 - Why do we fear death?
Why do we fear death? If you look at it rationally, apart from the mode of death, once you are dead you have nothing to worry about. In fact, many existentialists would say that the moment before death is the most peaceful because it is the moment when all of your worries and all of your earthly problems disappear because they become irrelevant. But that’s cold comfort for a lot of us. Deep down we have this subconscious desire for survival. Death is feared more than anything else, but why? If you feel no pain in death, then what is there to fear? The fee comes in the fear of missing out. A child may be stressed about a friend’s birthday party, wondering whether they will get invited. They don’t want to miss out on the fun. As adults, we have the same inclination; we want to be invited to the special events. But if you don’t attend the event, you don’t have any experience to miss. In reality, you didn’t experience anything, and you didn’t therefore miss anything. But this is the point. You have missed out on what could have been. In our minds, we build romantic attachment to possibilities. I think ultimately people don’t want to die because there are so many other things they want to achieve in their lives. I want to live a happy retirement. I want to see my grandchildren grow up. I want to see the fruits of my labour. But going back to the party that you missed out on. It may be that on the way to the party, you got wiped out in a car accident. Maybe the party was just plain boring and you wasted your time. Or it could lead to an argument with your friend. As it is in life. We are not to know whether the future experiences will be wonderful or not, we just want to have the experience is good or bad. But what’s the use of hanging onto life if it is just an unsatisfactory life. Do we mainly live life hoping the future will be better? The Stoics spend a lot of time thinking about death. They call the meditations on death. This is not to make life unimportant and useless. It is precisely the opposite. Meditations on death are about confronting the fact that I will die, and before making the most of every single moment of my life. I will die, I will wipe my memory, I will have no problems, I will be no peace and no agony. That makes the experience of conscious awareness of being alive all the more remarkable and precious. This very moment. This very moment as I sit in a carpark waiting for a parking spot. I can choose to look at the gloomy grey foggy, drizzly sky and either appreciate it for what it is, or even think of the sun behind it which will surely soon break free. This very moment is the only one I have.
See full blog article here
EP16 - Diary: What if I didn’t have an opinion? Bad bosses and politics.
Opinion is the sister of judgement. I should only give my opinion when asked, and even then, I should not overreach. My opinion will not change the outcome, it will only create my own stress because the world surely isn’t conforming to my opinions. Politics is a classic example. We all seem to have an opinion. But our opinions and (henceforth arguments) do not change the world. This doesn’t mean you should be a political mute. But with politics as with most things, it is actions that matter. Does someone have a bad boss? Who says they are bad? Bad for the employee? Bad for the company? Bad for morale? To judge a good or bad boss, you need the full context of everything they are doing. Having an opinion as to the talent of the boss does nothing to change the employee's individual position. The lack of an opinion does not mean you go through life wistfully oblivious to your surroundings. It means you rationally assess and take action. I can't let my subconscious lead with opinion and judgement.
See full blog article here
EP15 - What needless conflict can I avoid?
Needless conflict. We'll know that a lot of conflict is needless, but which conflict? And how can I avoid just that conflict? Isn't some conflict helpful and productive? The conflict I am thinking about is the conflict which comes from judgement and opinion. Conflict can only come from a difference of opinion. If there is conflict, it could be because the other person is wrong - in which case they won't be swayed unless they are receptive to facts. The other way conflict can arise is if they are right, and I am wrong. And it is difficult for us to see our own miss judgements and errors. Absent any receptiveness to facts and logical judgement, conflict will never be resolved, and therefore is needless. Why have a conflict if you are not going to convince the other person? Why have a conflict when you yourself will not be swayed? Isn't it just a huge waste of effort? I have a philosophy of not telling lies and not judging. Not telling lies is reasonably straightforward, if not an imperfect and somewhat unattainable goal. I aim towards it. ..... An event today rammed this home to me. My daughter called to ask advice about a co-worker who has been bullying and intimidating her other co-workers. My daughter is not one of the victims but she feels the need to interject and protect. My advice to her was as follows. I told her that she does not need to stir the pot and (as a result), create more conflict. She needs to remain calm, with poise, and be levelheaded. The greatest way she can help her workmates is to show calm compassion. She has raised the matter with her superior and did so in a very compassionate levelheaded manner. But I advised her not to go any further unless the boss asks for her opinion. If her opinion is sought, she needs to use that calm please to unemotionally give the opinions that she is asked and not to over reach. In any line of work, the most respected employees (and the ones who are promoted) are the ones who have this calm rational demeanour. I am not telling her to be cold and detached, but to offer calm compassion. That is the most difficult form of support. Much more difficult than joining in with the crowd at stoning the perpetrator.
Read the full blog article here
EP14 - Am I thinking before I act?
This question has both applications in the minutia and in the esoteric.
In the minutia of my morning routine I've learnt to think before I act by taking first time.
When I get to my desk, and before I open my laptop, I have a new habit of journaling before I do anything. Usually it's a question like the one above. The second thing I do is a sit with a pen and paper and write some thoughts of what comes to mind in the day ahead. I don't look at the previous days list I don't look at anything. I simply have a period of conscious flow.
These few minutes other ones where I have the most control over my day at this moment I can consciously decide what I'm going to do next. Now sure the day derails along the way but it takes longer for the derailment, and I have a reference point to go back to if I do feel off path.
Esoterically this question of consciousness is profound.
Thinking before acting is the greatest challenge. It's our subconscious efficiently trying to help us.
The subconscious was the first part of our brain which developed. It seems to resent having a new neighbour called the conscious. And, not the well-established neighbour, tries to dictate the way things are to the new boy.
But this new neighbour is educated and hard-working. It's almost the opposite version of its well-established neighbour. This new neighbour is unique and makes our whole neighbourhood different to others.
Humans are defined by our ability to rationalise. To nationalise is to make what-if decisions and simulations. The thing that differentiates us from all of the animals and species is our conscious ability to see our existence. In other words consciousness.
To be conscious is to be human. As opposed to being an amoeba. To be the best human I can be I need to utilise their skills as much as I can. Thinking before acting is exactly what it means to be human.
Let the subconscious habits first impressions. They are there for a reason. But very quickly recognise it is only a first impression and then put to work the power of rationalisation and in this process I am thinking before acting.
Read the full blog article here
EP13 - Cultivating the invincibility of my power to choose
Invincibility is a powerful word. It has connotations of Superman, of the ancient gods. To equate me with invincibility, or anything I do with invincibility seems ridiculous. And yet I feel like I am indeed cultivating invincibility of my power to choose. I noticed this through actions and decisions. I changed my diet just over one year ago. Only this morning one of my co-workers asked if I have ever had a cheat day. I replied that I haven't. I'm just one of those 'all in' kind of people. My diet is known as Keto, which involves almost 0 carbs, no fruit, and no grains. The results have been remarkable. This method of eating is the greatest practice of self discipline which, ultimately requires very little discipline. The more I practice the discipline, the easier it is. I now feel invincible in my diet and I am transferring it to other habits and deeper into my life. I am not a disciplined person by any stretch of the imagination, however the more discipline I practice, the less I require to use it. I'm also cultivating invincibility by understanding control. I'm now less bothered by outcomes. This means outcomes can't hurt me and to some extent that makes me invincible. In business, sure I'd love to win the deal but I know that I may not. In the past I know my figures were also due to low effort. Now I know I'm more disciplined and committed so it's less devastating when I fail and therefore I feel something closer to invincible. I'm not there yet and I may never get to invincibility. But I'd rather be closer to it than further away. I have the power to choose my discipline, and my effort. And those decisions get me closer to invincibility. “Remember that the ruling faculty is invincible, when self-collected it is satisfied with itself, if it does nothing which it does not choose to do, even if it resist from mere obstinacy". Meditations of Marcus Aurelius - Book 8
Read the full blog article here.
EP12 - Defining sucess
How do you define success? Is success and external event or situation, or is it something dripping from within? I used to think that success was all about status and money and position and awards, but that didn’t work with me. Success comes from within. But I’m not talking about naval contemplation exercise to make you feel good even if you’ve failed. I’m talking about a more difficult way to feel successful but I longer lasting one.
Read the full blog article here
EP11 - Being clueless about things that don't matter
My Diary
In colloquial language, to be clueless is to be ignorant, stupid, and have no idea about things. In colloquial language, to be clueless is to be ignorant, stupid, and have no idea about things.
To be clueless about things that don't matter is to be stoic. It means I shouldn’t engage in topics that don't matter and our outside of my control.
But ignorance is not an ill.
Being content is not the same as being happy.
To be content is to be at peace, and tranquility.
So being clueless about things that don't matter leads to tranquility because I’ll be less worried and distracted by frivolities and uncontrollable events.
But this comes at a price.
My ever-increasing Stoicism has led to indifference and it's seen as arrogance.
I can't help that. I am increasingly disconnected from trivia and gossip, but more engaged with the intellectual and conversations that matter to me.
So although I am calm on the inside, I appear to be disconnected at one extreme and then very connected at the other. To others it seems like I am living in extremes. But this is not the case. I'm actually only living in one part of the spectrum, that of connection.
In my own mind I completely disconnect with conversations that don't matter. Sure I smile and nod but my silence is palpable. To me I am just chilling out and waiting for the conversation to end. To others I may appear rude.
This is also happening at home. When the talk turns to gossip I am disconnected. Just the other night I had a conversation with my son and his girlfriend about the newest philosophies in teaching. The booking question is called Range, by David Epstein.
It's one of those books that makes you challenge what you otherwise believed to be true. These are the things that engage me, and talking about these thoughts help me become a better person, with more tools to lead a rational conscious life. I must thank Ryan Holliday for the tip.
Some people in the conversation switched off and even left the table. I think I was just too much for them. Now the challenge is to find environments where I can let my thoughts freewheel and go further.
I’m reminded by what Epictetus said.
“Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it. On the rare occasions when you’re called upon to speak, then speak, but never about banalities like gladiators, horses, sports, food and drink—common-place stuff. Above all don’t gossip about people, praising, blaming or comparing them.” – Epictetus
Read the full blog article here
EP10 - What ruler do you measure yourself against?
Part (machine) transcription...
Today’s question or today’s diary question is what rulers do I measure myself against.The word ruler can have two meanings it could mean the king - what ruler do I measure myself against? What aspirational person do a measure myself again but when I first thought about this I thought of it in terms of a king or a master or secondly a ruler can be something to measure against.
On first reflection I took this to be a measurement thing, so what sort of measuring stick do I use my own life as a measuring stick I incorrectly measured myself against business success wealth and success of my kids also if my kids are successful unsuccessful now despite whatever we try to do and say if we look at that well if I look at this honestly I do Look at my kids success as being something that used to measure my own success as a father and is as a person and I know that’s wrong but deep deep down and I’m sure there are more of you out there that you think you know what deep down there is this some modicum of truth about that now obviously there’s business success as well....
I measure myself against myself now I’m going to twist it if I looked at the word ruler to mean master or someone superior to me in in some aspect of life then it could also be quite applicable to look at it that way now I’m not saying that I Measure my life against some person who of which I only see a snippet of their life but there might be actions there might be behaviours that there are some people that are doing e.g. mentors that for that particular instance can be something to aspire to so when I see a politician a skilled politician staying calm under a barrage of questions and in the middle of some sort of a scandal I had made up behaviour that their ability to stay calm under those circumstances to me is is remarkable and that is something I do aspire to I don’t aspire to be that person because I’m sure they’ve got their own dark spaces and I don’t know anything about their lives but I can aspire to certain behaviours that are an indicator of a higher level that I can attain myself in my life so it’s not so not to be confused It’s not about the person I don’t want to be like a Obama but I do want to be as calm as him under pressure or to be able to speak like him regardless of political persuasion.
I measure myself against imagine myself against myself and whether I’m doing the best I can do because I know that will get me to tranquility but I’m also measuring myself against other people whose specific behaviours are things that I can strive for and learn from Don’t confuse any of that with now that does sound a bit external but don’t confuse any of that with me measuring myself against other externalities like money and fame and fortune whatever it is however an eye that should not be the thing but the thing that trip to stop is it that’s the default position and that’s where Stokes got a recognise the thought process understand it and stop it and this Is a big part of what Stacys move but is about if it’s something comes out in the shadows you get immediately startled but then you processing your brain to say okay that’s not dangerous move on it’s the same as a lot of our emotions like last and anger they all things that pop up and we know they’re going to pop up recognise them and move on and let them go and it’s the same with these aspirational thoughts of all if I just get this deal if I get this car or look at the Joneses
From the blog article here.
EP9 - Which of my possessions own me?
EP8 - Bad habits
Breaking bad habits reveals the deepest parts of my existence #stoicism #stoic #stoicleadersip
Read the full blog article here
EP7 - Rekindling principles
If we break this sentence down, the first two things to tackle are what it means to live today and also to understand my principles.
To start living today implies that I'm not living today. I think the stoic argument for this is to say that whatever takes us off our path of virtue distracts us from living our best life.
Find the full blog article here.
EP6 - Unquestioned assumptions
What do we automatically hold true, and how to deal with unquestioned truths. Here’s a simple way you can identify them. #stoic #stoicleadershio #stoicism
Dear Diary
Today I was confronted with an interesting question. What assumptions have I left unquestioned?
This sentence needs some deep thought.
After being posed the question, I wondered what falls in that category, if anything.
Assumptions? Unquestioned?
Unquestioned assumptions destroy our efficiency and clarity.
What do we assume to be correct?
What my parents told me?
The happiness of a wife, 2.3 kids, dog and cat?
That we need to plan for the long term?
That all publicity is good publicity?
That there must be winners and losers?
Says who? Why?
Where’s the proof?
One way to examine assumptions is to propose the opposite.
Is the opposite proposition equally true?
Can someone without the wife and 2.3 kids live a virtuous, happy and fulfilled life? If yes, then surely it must follow that a wife and 2.3 kids is not a pre-requisite to a virtuous, happy fulfilled life. Where does that leave the assumption?
Whoa Diary, that’s an interesting way to look at it.
In business, is it true that we need to plan 10 years out? Is it true we should pay people as little as possible?
Has any company ever succeeded doing to opposite to what we’ve unquestionably believed?
If yes, then the unquestioned assumption can't be correct.
At the same time, the assumption could be right. Well, kind of.
If you examine the facts deeply and the assumption holds true (the sun rises in the East), then the assumption becomes a fact.
For example, if we assume you need to earn more money than you spend, and logic shows it to be so, then the assumption disappears, it becomes a fact.
Dear Diary, an assumption proven to be correct becomes a fact and ceases to be an assumption. A factual assumption is an oxymoron.
The difference between fact and assumption (in this context) is that the fact is tested and proven, the assumption is just accepted.
Don’t be distracted with the trifling fluff of assumptions. Look at things directly, look them squarely in the eye and determine if they are assumptions, or fact. If it seems to be an assumption, prove it, otherwise dismiss it and unclutter your mind.
Question everything and don’t lose perspective.
Is it good or bad for a racetrack to be water-sodden the night before a big race? It depends. Does the horse love the mud, or a firm track? Most (but not all) prefer a solid track, but that doesn’t make it right. A wet track can’t be assumed to be bad.
Let me be more dramatic dear Diary. Is it good or bad to have a heart attack? It depends. Over the long term it may bring the family closer together and convince your overweight kids to get healthy and live longer, more prosperous life.
Yes, I am talking about finding a silver lining. But not about creating one, it’s there. There is sunshine behind every cloud.
Our assumptions are either incorrect in fact or perspective.
Banish your assumptions dear Diary.
Original Blog article here
EP5 - Combatting frivolities and paranoias.
EP4 - Putting things outside your control - intentionally
We always talk about "gaining control", but has anyone ever posed the question about whether we should put more things 'out of our control?"
Putting things outside our control in both our personal and business life can have huge benefits.
Stoic leadership
#stoicism #stoic #stoicleadership
Ep3 -The Funeral
Funerals are a fantastic way to practice momento mori (to remember that you will die).
They jolt you into thinking about death.
This funeral made me grateful.