That Weird Friend

In the past few years, I have grown to have a deep connection with some T.V. shows. When times got tough, the characters were there to make me laugh, or feel less alone in my struggles. Outlandish characters made me feel less weird and shy characters helped me feel understood. 

Sometimes people look down at creative pursuits because they might outwardly appear to be less useful, or beneficial, to society than other jobs, such as doctors or teachers. But I know from personal experience just how important stories are and how they have the power to change someone's life. I know so many other people who would agree. 

Today, I talked about my all-time favorite television shows, which include Shameless, Atypical, Hannah Montana, The Bear, Righteous Gemstones, Succession, and more. I learned something different from each of these shows, just as each one of them has brought me comfort in some way. 

I have been in a bit of a slump. I graduated in May and then lost my Godfather in June. The loss colored my Summer and Fall, and will stay with me the rest of my life. Time has passed so slowly, yet so fast at the same time.

Today, I wanted to share some of the thoughts that have been circling in my mind. I recorded this podcast over a month ago but I chose to put it out now. I edited it the same day I recorded it, but it made me feel so many deep emotions that I needed to take a step back. Now, a month later, I am in a different place.

I am ready to share this podcast and my honest thoughts about how I have been feeling. I hope it makes other people going through a similar thing feel less alone, as well as give themselves a break because this is hard stuff.

Dealing with Long Covid is scary, isolating, and painful. Everyday is hard, every second of everyday is hard. Most doctors don’t know what to do to help. Today I talk about what dealing with Long Covid is actually like on a daily basis and how one can be more empathetic to those suffering with the condition every second of every day. It’s hard enough to have your body disobeying you without having friends and family ignore your emotions and condition because that is the easiest thing for them to do. Those who truly care will take the time to listen and I hope this podcast reminds you that there will always be people who care if you are willing to look hard enough. Also, Long Covid is not anxiety. Doctors, do better.

The name of the computer game I couldn’t remember is Friv! It was so fun to tell stories that I didn’t even know I remembered. I plan on doing more story time episodes because this was exciting to record and edit. I like thinking about the happy moments of the past and seeing how far I have come, but also how I have stayed the same in a lot of ways, too. Life is fun and a rollercoaster, man!

Did you ever write a letter in high school and get told it would be mailed to you in 5 years? That is what happened to me. I got the letter in the mail last summer, but I put it in the deep depths of my drawer. I was afraid to read it, afraid of what I thought I would be doing now versus what I am actually doing. In this episode, I read the letter and reflect on how it made me feel. It might surprise you. It surely surprised me.

I was always weird. I used to talk in metaphors. I still do. I didn't go to prom. I finished my high school doing home instruction aka doing my school work at home because I was in too much pain to go to school. I lost a lot of my friends and had to start brand new. But it all made me who I am today and for that I am thankful. Maybe being weird and having a unique story isn't so bad after all.

This podcast episode was sitting on my computer for around a month. I recorded it at a time when I was excited to post, but then my excitement dwindled. I was nervous that I sounded "bad" or "stupid" and I was getting down on myself. After taking a step back and regrouping, I listened to it again and it brought a smile to my face. I like what I said, how I said it, and how it made me feel. I am proud to post my first podcast episode where I discuss my current feelings toward COVID, somewhat fun and funny haikus that I wrote in angst, and my dream podcast guests that I will have on in the future (#manifesting).

Have you ever felt like the "weird one" in the group? You might stumble on your words when everyone seems to speak so perfectly, or have more embarrassing stories than everyone else, or just regularly voice your biggest dreams and desires when other people have settled for the bare minimum. Why does 'different' tend to be labeled as 'weird'? We all have 'weird' tendencies that can make us feel like outcasts if we let them. Let's be honest and open, so together, we can feel less alone and more like we're huddled by a fire roasting marshmallows on a beautiful beach in Hawaii.