The Galloping Abs Society
By Galloping Abs
The Galloping Abs SocietyAug 19, 2020
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Sadist
It's a Galloping Abs Society Holiday Special! We celebrate this magical time of the year with "Sleigh Bells Ring," by Jodie Griffin. Santa as a leather-clad dom in a BDSM scene with multiple reindeer shifters? We couldn't get more festive if we tried. Join us on this rollicking journey of Christmas-themed innuendo, very inventive sex toys, and some North Pole details we never knew we wanted to know. Plus, we're wowed by Tits Von Fappington's reindeer facts and Loins Haversham's mini talk about pain, pleasure, and brain chemistry!
Link to the book: https://jodiegriffin.com/2015/12/sleigh-bells-ring/
Tits's sources:
https://www.fda.gov/animal-veterinary/animal-health-literacy/fun-facts-about-reindeer-and-caribou
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/rural/2021/07/deer-penis-exports-the-surprising-rise-of-new-zealand-s-pizzle-industry.amp.html
Loins's sources:
https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2002/01/pleasure-pain-activate-same-part-of-brain/
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20151001-why-pain-feels-good
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain_and_pleasure
The Flying Cunnilingus
Following hot on the heels of our in-person, all together, (FOR THE FIRST TIME!) Palate Cleanser, we surround a table and a microphone to speak sweet, sweet words of fairy porn into your earholes. That's right, we're talking about "That Time I Banged A Fairy," by Vivica Snow! Listen as our excitement to be finally amongst each other overrides any sense of patience or logic. We talk fairies, ADD, really firm fairy boobs, and how we're pretty sure all of the books we've read exist in the same universe. And to flutter your fancies, Tits Von Fappington whisks us away on a journey of fairy history!
Tits's sources:
https://claireryanauthor.com/blog/2017/2/22/2644-the-origins-of-fairies/
https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/The-Origins-of-Fairies/
https://fiveminutehistory.com/the-history-of-fairies/
https://medium.com/lessons-from-history/history-of-fairies-18dff807000e
Palate Cleanser #15 (We Do Madlibs!)
For the first time in recorded history, the Galloping Abs Society members were in the same room! In celebration of this moment nineteen months in the making, we all participated in the greatest creative adventure possible: Madlibs. Listen in as we come up with four flawless tales of romance, drama, and genital euphemisms.
Let's Get Horny
Are you ready to gallop off into the sunset? Join us on our quest as we discuss "Unicornia" by Grace Risata. It's a veritable unicorn-ucopia of adventure, thrills, chills, and--surprisingly--genuine hilarity. If you thought that was the worst unicorn pun you've heard all week, don't worry, we've got more! Plus, we bring in a bit of history as Tits Von Fappington takes us through some unicorn lore. Saddle up and ride!
Tits's sources:
https://www.livescience.com/59674-unicorn-facts.html
https://www.wired.com/2015/02/fantastically-wrong-unicorn/
https://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/mythic-creatures/land/unicorns-west-and-east
https://www.worldhistory.org/article/1629/the-unicorn-myth/
https://www.britannica.com/topic/unicorn
The Pufferman Cometh
Did you think we were done with shifter books? Surprise! We talk about what might be our shiftiest one yet-- "Mounted By A Monster: Were-Puffer," by Mina Shay. Join us on a puffed-up journey filled with vapid characters, sudden plot bombs, disturbing anatomical transformations, and a cliffhanger that left us all feeling a bit deflated. Loins Haversham also leads us on a little trip through CRISPR-land, and Tits Von Fappington tells us about some of the weirder animal military experiments!
Tits's sources:
https://www.history.com/news/7-unusual-experiments-by-the-u-s-military
https://www.cracked.com/blog/an-infamous-nasa-experiment-involved-horny-dolphin-lsd/
https://www.vice.com/en/article/9amw88/what-weve-learned-from-giving-dolphins-lsd
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2011/04/old-weird-tech-the-bat-bombs-of-world-war-ii/237267/
Palate Cleanser #14 (We Talk Shifters!)
Just the Bear Shifter Necessities
Are you ready for more shifter shenanigans? We were! In this episode, we hurl ourselves headfirst into “Bear Naked Yoga” by Blane Thomas, and experience a world of bear shifters, yoga instructors, more yoga, and more bear shifters. And is this...can it be?? We might have finally arrived at the land of Too Many Genital Euphemisms. Thankfully, Tits von Fappington is here to distract us with a little lesson on the etymology of ‘bear.’
Tits’s Sources:
https://www.thevintagenews.com/2019/04/04/word-bear/
https://www.backpacker.com/survival/bears/ask-a-bear/ask-a-bear-where-does-the-word-bear-come-from/
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-24669828
https://www.etymonline.com/word/bare
https://web.stanford.edu/~eckert/PDF/BarrettBear.pdf
https://www.montclair.edu/lgbtq-center/lgbtq-resources/terminology/
Palate Cleanser #13 (We Play Dungeons and Dragons!)
How could we possibly cleanse our palates after reading the last book? By playing a short game of D&D, of course! Journey along with Tits, Lovemeat, and Loins as Thrusty takes them all on a heart-pounding quest of improvisation, role play, dice rolling, and dick jokes. They have a task, a little bit of luck, and a lot of gumption, but...will they succeed??
Kobold-Hood, Prince of Thieves
Put on your wizard’s hat, gather your adventuring party, and grab your Staff of Unrelenting Fluids—we’re reading “Lust of the Kobolds” by Dani Dundee! It’s a lizardy romp of mates, breeding, and fantasy creatures who share names with David Bowie characters. We geek out just a little bit, and Tits sends us all on a wonderful journey as she tells us about the history of Dungeons and Dragons.
Tits's Sources:
https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-one-the-birth-death-and-resurrection-of-dungeons-dragons/
https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-two-how-wizards-of-the-coast-saved-dungeons-dragons/
https://geekandsundry.com/the-story-of-dd-part-three-how-3rd-edition-became-the-mother-of-many-rpgs/
https://www.playboy.com/read/the-sexual-revolution-of-dungeons-dragons
https://www.wired.com/story/racy-dandd-module-oral-history/
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-26328105
Palate Cleanser #12 (Vikings in Space Revisited!)
Didn't, Nope
Thrusty's sources from Thrusting In With Knowledge:
www.ohjoysextoy.com/sexual-fantasies/
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Secret_Garden
www.delconewsnetwork.com/lifestyle/sexuality-matters-demystifying-your-fantasies/article_09b7bac2-0cee-50fb-b41b-717b90fbdb1a.html
www.wbur.org/dearsugar/2018/01/13/dark-fantasies-part-1-with-dr-ian-kerner
fangirlibrary.tumblr.com/post/176529229305/is-it-ok-to-like-darkfic-if-youve-never-been
And the link for that “Guess My Kink” video we mentioned: www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpgszSFG99w
Palate Cleanser #11 (With Mariah Ankenman!)
Find Mariah: @mariahankenman
Now With 10% More Glans!
Tits's sources:
tinyurl.com/3m2chcfu
www.louisianasportsman.com/hunting/other-hunting/alligator-tales-stories-from-louisianas-alligator-filled-past/
www.livescience.com/32144-whats-the-difference-between-alligators-and-crocodiles.html
Coming Soon: Season Two!
We're hopefully a-pleasin'...
We're....running out of rhymes because it's been a very long year and we're tired, but here's what to expect in season TWO!
Too Many Tentacles, Not Enough Levels
Palate Cleanser #10 (With Momma McGee!)
Dr Tentacle and Mrs Hyde
And, to top it all off, Tits delves into the history of tentacle porn! Her sources:
www.wweek.com/bump/2016/12/06/a-brief-history-of-tentacle-porn/
vocal.media/filthy/history-of-tentacle-porn
fr.lovense.com/bdsm-blog/history-of-tentacle-porn
The picture of Caspar David Friedrich we referenced:
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Gerhard_von_K%C3%BCgelgen_portrait_of_Friedrich.jpg
C-o-m-e the Chupacabra
Sources from History with Tits:
www.bbc.com/earth/story/20161109-the-truth-about-a-strange-blood-sucking-monster
www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/10/101028-chupacabra-evolution-halloween-science-monsters-chupacabras-picture/#close
www.livescience.com/24036-chupacabra-facts.html
Palate Cleanser #9 (A new vibrator!)
Domo Arigato Fister Roboto
(Her sources:
www.bbc.com/future/article/20160209-the-truth-about-sex-robots
campaignagainstsexrobots.org/
www.newsweek.com/sex-robot-455837
www.iflscience.com/technology/why-sex-robots-are-ancient-history/
tinyurl.com/y3ugpxwu )
Palate Cleanser #8 (Chuck Tingle!)
Protective Cyborg Daddies
Want to feel protected while experiencing the oppressive attentions of three overbearing partly-humans in a mildly sci-fi environment??
Welcome to "Three of a Kind" by Susan Hayes, book four of the Drift series! Join us on a chaotic journey through some heavy plot, looming evil corporations, foursomes, and vague descriptions of Science Things. We also talk the history of cyborgs and try to impress Tits Von Fappington with how well we can speak in sync.
Palate Cleanser #7 (A mini retrospective!)
(Answers: Probably not much; definitely not much; up for debate.)
Nobody Expects A Midnight Dong
Palate Cleanser #6 (Chatting about fun things!)
What Does the Fox Say
Palate Cleanser #5 (Cleansing with La Croix!)
In this palate cleanser, we talk books, graphic novels, and even new La Croix flavors. It's a light and airy mini ep. ...Just like a La Croix. (This podcast is not sponsored by La Croix, although we can dream.)
Harry Edge and the Chamber of Cunnie
The link to the dildo history page mentioned in the podcast: annalspornographie.wordpress.com/2018/06/20/a-brief-history-of-dildos/?fbclid=IwAR1Y6NNTdo4w8WZVpj7m3bJQfJEYEOPpAcQhlakwKlF1PIXyLrWop8iykh8
The dildo song ("Will You Buy A Fine Dog?" by Thomas Morely from the 1600s) played in the episode can be listened to in its entirety here: youtu.be/sK7s63T1sXY
Palate Cleanser #4 (We play the "I Love You, Colonel Sanders" dating game!)
In this episode, Tits, Thrusty, and Lovemeat discuss the amazing time we had when the four of us played "I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger-Lickin' Good Dating Simulator," and play some audio clips that accurately portray our bafflement. And, by the end, emotional investment.
Not Taking a Chance on This Wizard
The medieval vagina article:
www.historyundressed.com/2015/02/medieval-virginity-testing-and.html
Palate Cleanser #3 (Squirrel watching!)
Grade-F Beefcakes
Palate Cleanser #2 (Talking even more other books!)
The Mermaid and the Vampire Pirate
Apologies in advance for the sound quality on this one; one of our many technical struggles was discovering after recording that a headset had snapped. Oopsies.
Palate Cleanser #1 (We talk other books!)
In this little Palate Cleanser, we discuss books we *don't* hate.