The Paper Machete Audio Magazine
By The Paper Machete
The Paper Machete Audio MagazineAug 01, 2020
The Paper Machete 2.12.22 Clip
A brief sample of Paper Machete character comedy by Maggie Winters from the 2.12.22 show.
The Audio Magazine: 11.20.21
Hey faithful friends,
This week's audio magazine is "headlined" by no less than Janeane Garofalo (!). That said, it also was an embarrassment of eclectic Chicago comedy riches. You'll hear from pregnant operatic soprano Sarah van der Ploeg, singing a hilarious song about mommy culture by Robbie Ellis, a merciless preview of The Real Housewives of Dubai from Sohrab Forouzesh, Erin Diamond as Sex and the City's exiled expat Samantha Jones weighing in on The Week in Men, and Atra Asdou and Gary Pascal as 1% PR gurus defending week's worst offenders in the headlines. Chase it with a scorching number from beloved metal outfit Aweful.
Thanks, as always, for your tireless faith and generous contributions.
The Machete gang
The Audio Magazine: 7.10.21
Greetings friends,
Although re-mounting the Paper Machete post-COVID-lockdown hasn't quite been just-like-riding-a-bicycle easy, each week gets a little more comfortable and familiar. This week we're delighted to bring you an audio magazine featuring longtime contributors as well as a few first-timers. The segments range from crime stories with silver linings, like Michael Avenatti's prison sentence and the public auction of El Chapo's former safe house, to hilarious musical comedy, to our brand-spankin'-new Marjorie Taylor Greene impersonator (Erin Diamond, formerly our Melania Trump!), plus a beloved rock band, Avantist.
Meanwhile, this will be one of our last public podcasts for the foreseeable future. We send out weekly show recordings as a thank you exclusively for our monthly donors. So if you're not a monthly donor, you can become one by visiting https://thepapermachete.org/support and you'll keep receiving the Machete directly to your inbox.
And please enjoy this week's excellent lineup of talent:
MASTHEAD
Erin Diamond
Adam Burke
Alex Kumin
Jamie Shriner
Ana Silva and Vinny Thomas
Avantist
The Audio Magazine: 7.3.21
FRIENDS,
Our second show back in the Green Mill was a baller birthday bash for a not-quite-but-maybe-almost post-COVID America. Despite the world literally burning, several of our old-school fave contributors still made a big splash, to everyone's delight.
As we attempted to return ever-so-gradually to normalcy, the news gods blessed us with some true silliness—enjoy the tale of the man stopped by Belfast police who insisted the cocaine discovered between his buttcheeks must have been placed there by somewhere else—as well as challenging solemn occasions, like the passing of Donald Rumsfeld. In addition to freshly written current-events segments, swinging tunes by Chicago’s great jazz singer Paul Marinaro, musical comedy by our own Bill Larkin, and standup comedy from visiting Houston-based funnyman Zahid Dewji round out an excellent audio magazine experience.
In a few weeks this currently public podcast is going back to being an exclusive thank you, accessible only to our monthly donors. But we still wanted to thank you for sticking with us through so much by sharing it with everyone for a little while longer. For now feel free to alert a fellow Machete fan that this episode is available to all.
Thanks, as ever, for the support that makes it happen. And dig this hot lineup:
MASTHEAD
Bill Larkin
Zahid Dewji
Atra Asdou and Gary Pascal
Paul Marinaro
Sorhab Forouzesh
Mark Chrisler
The Braided Janes
The Audio Magazine: 6.26.21
FRIENDS,
At long last, the wait is finally over. This past Saturday afternoon (June 26, 2021)—despite the very rare Chicago tornado warning just a few hours before showtime and a torrential downpour that could have kept folks away—the Paper Machete officially reopened its run at the Green Mill. A stellar cast and an outrageously enthusiastic audience brought us back to life in a most rousing and entertaining afternoon.
Included on the bill were several artists who have been in the show since its inception in 2010. And now we're delighted to bring you our first post-COVID shutdown, post-Trump Machete audio magazine chock full of some of the finest in our rotation.
We've said it before and will continue to repeat it: It was YOUR support that pulled the Machete through this awful period. On behalf of both Machete artists and our amazing audiences everywhere, we're beyond grateful.
That said, let's get back down to business now, shall we?
MASTHEAD
Josh Zagoren
Jamal Guichon
Chris Hauser
Sam Bailey
John Szymanksi and Bethany Thomas
Katie Watson
Baby Teeth
The Audio Magazine: 3.17.21
Happy St. Patty's Day Machete fans,
This week marks an emotionally treacherous double holiday for us—both Chicago's trickiest day for saloons crossed with the one-year anniversary of the Machete on lockdown—and it has us in a mood, friends.
Our solution, naturally, is a holiday podcast to beat back the blues and blahs of this erstwhile green occasion with comedy and music from Machete past and present. This episode features premium St. Patty's content from Maureen San Diego, stellar standup from artists like Janelle James and John McCombs, some incredible Piers Morgan content, and outstanding Irish folk music from Kate Adams.
As ever, we're gobsmacked by your generosity, which has kept the Machete quietly afloat during this most uncertain, turbulent year. We're still here and we're sending you this only because of our donors. If you've donated in the last 12 months, thank you. And to everyone in our community still listening and supporting us, thank you, too.
We know that live shows will return this year, even if our own revival date is still very much up in the air. But we will be back with all of you, and we're more grateful for you than we can say.
As shots in the arm continue to uptick, our reunion with y'all grows ever closer. Until then, keep the faith and stay safe and enjoy this episode.
Much love,
Team Machete
MASTHEAD
Matt Griffo
Kate Adams
Maureen San Diego
Janelle James
John McCombs
Chris Hauser
The Audio Magazine: 2.14.21
Happy Valentines Day, Machete listeners!
Whether or not YOU’RE feeling amorous on this frozen, quarantined holiday, we’re pretty sure embattled QAnon ambassadress Marjorie Taylor Green is hot-to-trot enough for all of us (at least if the most recent reporting on her extracurricular love life is to be believed).
So why not let our MTG satire melt the frost off your disposition, and enjoy several other bits of Machete comedy and music from our past and present with this Valentine’s Day podcast. This edition contains Green Mill performances from Janeane Garofalo and Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me!’s Brian Babylon, and several stalwart Machete voices.
As ever, we are beyond grateful for the support you’ve continued to offer us, and we desperately miss creating a weekly live show for you in Uptown’s most renowned gangster jazz club. We are especially thankful for our monthly donors and those of you that have made financial contributions during the pandemic. You're the reason we're still here, and we deeply appreciate you.
Meanwhile, as we all wait for a literal shot in the arm, may this metaphorical one keep you vaccinated against midwinter blues and post-acquittal blahs.
Stay safe. And love the one you’re with. Because you’ve never had less of a choice.
Xoxo,
Team Machete
2.14.21 MASTHEAD
Brad Einstein
Claire Friedman
Tiffany Topol
Janeane Garofalo
Michael Gomez
Brian Babylon
Atra Asdou
Gary Pascal
The Audio Magazine: 12.31.20
Greetings, Machete faithful.
In honor of the year that nearly finished all of us off but didn't, we bring you a special year-end podcast we hope will help you y'all over as we wait patiently for the vaccine to work its mojo and allow us to finally gather at the Green Mill again.
This episode features archive performances from some of our regular contributors, fresh content from our resident musical madman Bill Larkin and feathered sage Chad the Bird, and even guest appearances by President-elect Biden and Sarah Huckabee Sanders (!), in all their tipsy Saturday afternoon glory.
We can't wait to see you on the other side of the worst year in our collective memory, but in the meantime may this episode help make your new year's celebration a warm one, and serve a humble THANK YOU for your endless faith and generous financial support in our endeavors.
MASTHEAD
Bill Larkin
Sonal Aggarwal
Chris Hauser
Bilal Dardai
Erin Diamond
Josh Zagoren
Nikki Morgan
The Audio Magazine: 11.26.20
We miss you all terribly, and wanted to help warm up your kitchens, your earbuds, your car stereos—wherever your Thanksgiving pregame or post-mortem activities are happening—with this special holiday episode, featuring outstanding music, comedy and commentary relevant(ish) to the season from Green Mill show archives.
No matter whatever you're enduring or sacrificing this year, we're beyond grateful to YOU for your faith and support of our endeavors throughout this most turbulent year.
May your holiday feast be enhanced by this gaggle of clever showbiz yahoos.
MASTHEAD
Dylan Carey
Bethany Thomas
Clark Jones
Malic White
Rebecca Anderson
Ric Walker
Reena Calm
Marz Timms and Greg Hollimon
The Audio Magazine: 8.1.20
This week is all throwbacks to a simpler time, when we only had the Democratic Primaries, Hillary Clinton, and Trump's pissing contest with Kim Jong-un to worry about.
MASTHEAD
Amy Auburn
Sonal Aggarwal
Shane Torres
Joel Kim Booster
Sohrab Forouzesh
Ross Berman
Atra Asdou
MUSIC
Podington Bear-Uptown
Podington Bear-Relinquish
Jahzzar-Money
Diamond Ortiz-Mirror Mirror
Will be-Introduced Beats
Jahzzar-Airship Fury
DJ Williams-75&Lower
Otis McDonald-Erykah
The Audio Magazine: 7.25.20
This week, we bring you a tutorial on how not to apologize inspired by Rep. Ted Yoho's treatment of AOC, as well as archive pieces on the fast food wars, abortion rights, Elizabeth Warren's campaign, and being a Single Living Ur Truth.
MASTHEAD
Laura McKenzie
Abbi Rajasekhar
Michael Gomez
Alex Kumin
Jayson Acevedo
Ella Gale
Carly Oishi
MUSIC
Podington Bear-Uptown
Otis McDonald-Erykah
BOPD-elevator
Podington Bear-Old Skin
Diamond Ortiz-Mirror Mirror
Blue Dot Sessions-Night Watch
Jahzzar-Elevator
The Audio Magazine: 7.18.20
This week's Audio Magazine features new sketches based on Ruth Bader Ginsberg's cancer recurrence and the Washington football team's name change, as well as archive pieces musing on racial segregation, how Enlightenment thinking is used as a cover for sexual abuse, and the Hong Kong Protests.
MASTHEAD
Brad Einstein
Gem Tree
Vincent Bryant
Jessa Crispin
Marz Timms
Greg Hollimon
Chrissi Rose
Kim Bellware
MUSIC
David Fesliyan-Solutions that Work
David Fesliyan-Scary Atmosphere
Podington Bear-Uptown
Diamond Ortiz-Mirror Mirror
Otis McDonald-Does it Float
Willbe-Home Sweet Home
Broken For Free- Only Knows
Joe Bagale-Thank You RGE
The Audio Magazine: 7.11.20
This week's Audio Magazine features fresh takes on Kanye's 2020 presidential bid and advice for universities whose international students are being threatened with deportation, as well as archive pieces about Megxit, Mayor Pete, and Melania's fashion choices.
MASTHEAD:
Sam Trump
Erin Diamond
McKenzie Chinn
Sharup Karim
Skyler Higley
MUSIC
Podington Bear-Uptown
True Cuckoo-This Is Not Effortless
Esther Abrami-No. 2 Remembering Her
Causmic-Unavailable
Otis McDonald-Erykah
Asher Fulero-Pirouette
Sir Cubworth-Butterflies In Love
RAGE-Down Time In My Soul
RAGE-Poppin Off the Rip
Danny Kean/Doug Maxwell-So Smooth
The Audio Magazine: 7.4.20
This week, we bring you new essays on the Supreme Court's decision on abortion restrictions, the death of Carl Reiner, and the removal of racist symbols from public spaces, as well as archive pieces on lynchings, White Feminism, and the existence of God.
MASTHEAD
Zahid Dewji
Alex Kumin
Tristan A. Smith
Josh Zagoren
Virginia Muller
Abi Sanchez
MUSIC
Podington Bear-Uptown
Cooper Cannell-Star Spangled Banner
Coven Cvlt-Sweet Summer Child
Two Face-Causmic
Memory Shop-Soulfuss
Chad Crouch-Elipsis
DJ Williams-Ella Interlude
Silent Partner-Called Upon
Podington Bear-Lazy River
Silent Partner-The Heist
JHS Pedals-Cowboy Lullaby
Rick Steel-Power
Yung Logos-Versace Beat
The Audio Magazine: 6.27.20
This week, we bring you a report from the Trump Rally in Tulsa, as well as archive essays on the Straight Pride Parade, White Privilege, and the lack of representation for bisexual men.
MASTHEAD
Glitter Moneyyy
Whitney Chitwood
Seth K. Thomas
Sonia Denis
Rob Gleeson
Dewayne Perkins
MUSIC
Podington Bear-Uptown
Josh Lippi & the Overtimers-St Francis
Asher Fulero-Towards Us
Back Home-Coyote Hearing
DJ Williams-75&Lower
Jahzzar-Airship Fury
Otis McDonald-Does it Float
Joe Bagale-Thank You RGE
Silent Partner-The Heist
The Audio Magazine: 6.20.20
This week, we have fresh essays on SpongeBob's coming out, the rebranding of Aunt Jemima products, and Mayor Daley's racism, along with archive content and standup sets.
MASTHEAD:
Mathien
Kerry Coddett
Tom Thakkar
Allison Reese
Devin Middleton
Matt Brown
Jaimie de Leon
MUSIC BY:
Podington Bear-Uptown
Willbe-Home Sweet Home
Podington Bear-Slotcar
Hawaiian Trio-Hawaiian Twilight
Podington Bear-Relinquish
Podington Bear-Lazy River
CLOUDWARMER-The Happening at Three Mile Island Pennsylvania USA
Jeremy Blake-Mia
Deef-Nostalgia of an Ex-Gangsta Rapper
Silent Partner-Get Back Up
The Audio Magazine: 6.13.20
In this week's episode, we have fresh discussions on flawed White allyship and corporate virtue signaling, as well as archived sets talking about Black Republicans and James Bond. We've also asked each contributor to name an organization doing work to support Black communities. We've listed those orgs in the masthead below; check them out and, if you can, give a donation.
MASTHEAD:
AMS. (Youth Empowerment Performance Project)
Marsha Warfield (DuSable Museum of African American History)
John McCombs (RAINN)
Ric Walker (Equal Justice Initiative)
Calvin Evans (Institute for Positive Living)
Demi Adejuyigbe (Minnesota Freedom Fund & The People's City Council Freedom Fund)
MUSIC:
Podington Bear-Slotcar
Black Ant-Abstract Concepts What’s Up In The Streets
RAGE-Poppin Off The Rip
Joe Bagale-Thank You RGE
Biocratic-Memory Card Full
Otis McDonald-Does it Float
Podington Bear-Fingernail Grit
Silent Partner-The Heist
Otis McDonald-Erykah
Text Me Records / Grandbankss-Life is Tough
The Audio Magazine: 5.30.20
MASTHEAD
Mark James Heath
Phillip-Michael Scales
Dr. Devon Price
Andy Fleming
Pastor Rebecca Anderson
Kevin Bozeman
MUSIC
Letter Box-Far the Days Come
Podington Bear-Bad Scene
Unheard Music Concepts- Depressed Buddhist
I Think I Can Help You-The Hungry Ghost
Silent Panther-Some Obsession
Podington Bear-Uptown
Diamond Ortiz-Mirror Mirror
Dee Yan-Key -Bossa Nova
Patrick Patrikios-Cruise With Me
Otis McDonald-Erykah
DJ Williams-Ellas Interlude
Density & Time-Cycles
Mild Wild-Say Goodnight
The Audio Magazine: 5.23.20
MASTHEAD:
Avantists
Julia Weiss
Devin Middleton
Evan & Mary Jane
Jamal Guichon
Reena Calm
Bill Larkin
MUSIC:
DJ Williams-75 Lower
Podington Bear-Uptown
Silent Partner-The Heist
Podington Bear-Slotcar
Diamond Ortiz-Mirror Mirror
Podington Bear-Smooth Actor
Chris Haugen-Ibiza Dream
Unicorn Heads-Lonesome Star
The 126ers-When Its Good, Its Great
Podington Bear-Bad Scene
PATCHES-As You Prevent Do
Kevin McCleod-Deck the Halls - licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100263
Artist: http://incompetech.com/
Futuremono-Stillness
The Audio Magazine: 5.16.20
MASTHEAD:
Sadie & The Stark
Andrew Bentley
Aasia LaShay Bullock
Audrey Jonas
Al Jackson
Felonious Munk
MUSIC:
Podington Bear-Uptown
Podington Bear-Smooth Actor
Podington Bear-Violet
Podington Bear-Fingernail Grit
Chad Crouch-Elipsis
Podington Bear-Gizmo
Podington Bear-Slotcar
XTaKeRux-Demonization
The Audio Magazine: 5.9.20
MASTHEAD:
Foil
Bill Larkin
Erin Diamond
Shantira Jackson
Sammy Obeid
Carly Oishi
Peter Kim
Carly Ballerini
MUSIC BY:
Podington Bear-Slotcar
Dee Yan Kay-Communio
Podington Bear-Uptown
Podington Bear-Relinquish
Blear Moor-Dementia
Podington Bear-Smooth Actor
Podington Bear-Saunter
Broke For Free-Only Knows
Black Ant-What Up In The Streets
Podington Bear-Old Skin
Podington Bear-Violet
Blue Dot Sessions-Neon Drip
Blue Dot Sessions-Night Watch
David Hilowitz-Constitutional Crisis
Podington Bear-P Flunk
Podington Bear-Gizmo
Music For Your Plants-Web Surf Feat Jay Curry
The Audio Magazine: 5.2.20
MASTHEAD:
Rich Jones
Julia Shiplett
Bruno Pieroni
Zahid Dewji
Jordan Carlos
Whitney Chitwood
Ben Flores
The Oh Yeahs
MUSIC BY:
Hippie Bulle Stoned Funghi-Checkie Brown
Podington Bear-Uptown
Podington Bear-P Flunked Funk
Podington Bear-Gizmo
Jahzzar-Airship Fury
Jahzzar-Railroads Whiskey
Podington Bear-Bad Scene
Podington Bear-Violet
Podington Bear-Smooth Actor
Jahzzar-Roads That Burned Our Boots
The Audio Magazine: 4.25.20
MASTHEAD ROLL CALL:
Mike Maimone
Chris Hauser
Tessa Orzech
Megan Gailey
Avery Lee
John McCombs
MUSIC FROM:
Podington Bear-Smooth Actor
Podington Bear-Uptown
Podington Bear-Violet
Podington Bear-Lazy River
Project 5am- A Lazy Sailor Heart
Zan Zan Zawa Veia-Silk Webs
Podington Bear-P Plunked Funk
Jahzzar- Money
Gospel of Mars-Detector
Podington Bear-Slotcar
Podington Bear-Gizmo
Elephant Funeral-Fuckingggg Leaveeee
The Audio Magazine: 4.18.20
Welcome to the second edition of the Audio Magazine, featuring content from Natalie Grace Alford, Helen Hong, Bilal Dardai, Ashley Leisten, Joe Fernandez, and Jill Hopkins.
The Audio Magazine 4.11.2020
Welcome to the inaugural public broadcast of the Audio Magazine.