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The After Party: A podcast about sobriety, from The Sober Kates

The After Party: A podcast about sobriety, from The Sober Kates

By The Sober Kates
So you woke up hungover, wearing one shoe, last night's pizza crust doubling as your pillow. Wondering 'how did I get here again..there must be something more?'

Welcome to The After Party, a sobriety podcast that aims to answer the question: what happens when the party ends? After spending the better part of two decades in various stages of inebriation, Big Kate and Little Kate (of Philadelphia's The SoberKates) explore sobriety through the lens of two thirty-something women trying to leave their party girl pasts behind.
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Cheers to FIVE years
A quick hello to shower Little Kate with love as she hits a momentous milestone, 5 years of continued sobriety. Follow us for more at @thesoberkates on Instagram. 
03:37
January 15, 2022
TTFN
Join The Sober Kates this week to hear their super hyped up and highly anticipated "Biggest Announcement EVER!"
16:18
August 26, 2021
Sex: The Good, The Bad, and The Bi With Tawny Lara
The Kates are thrilled to chat with Tawny Lara this week about everything from drunk sex and iffy consent, sober sex - alone, with a new partner, or with a partner that drinks, and personal views of identifying as bi. Tawny is an NYC-based millennial who writes about the intersection of sex and sobriety. Her work is featured in  Playboy, Men’s Health, Huffington Post, Writer’s Digest, Mic, The Temper, Audiofemme, a sex column for SheSaid, and two essay collections: The Addiction Diaries(LaunchPad 2020) and the forthcoming reimagining of Sex and the Single Girl (Harper Perennial 2022). She is the co-host of Recovery Rocks podcast and story developer for the Webby-award winning podcast, F*cking Sober.
45:11
August 19, 2021
Never Have I Ever, Harder
Play along with the Kates this week while they play another unsurprisingly fast game of Never Have I Ever. Find out which Kate never paid for a drink in her life, and which one severely injured herself doing a drunken cheerleading stunt. Also: the Kates help a listener with a very important question and discuss when life gets less hard.
24:46
August 12, 2021
Mocktail Party with Kerry Benson
Kerry Benson, MS, RD is a registered dietitian, best-selling book author, and co-founder of The Sober Dietitians. Along with Diana Licalzi, MS, RD, she co-authored "Drinking for Two: Nutritious Mocktails for the Mom-to-Be" and "Mocktail Party: 75 Plant-Based, Non-Alcoholic Recipes for Every Occasion." Prior to becoming a dietitian, Kerry worked in a research lab for more than six years studying the effects of alcohol exposure during pregnancy on the developing brain. This experience sparked her interest in the topic of drinking, particularly in the context of pregnancy. Kerry has been alcohol-free for over six months. Any views expressed in this podcast are my own and are not endorsed by any professional organization or employer, past or present. Any statements made are intended to be general and are not a substitute for individualized medical advice. -Kerry Benson, MS, RD Website: thesoberdietitians.com Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok: @thesoberdietitians Mocktail Party and Drinking for Two are available on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Target, and anywhere books are sold.
42:11
August 05, 2021
Building a Sober Community with Kayla Lyons of 1000 Hours Dry
This week, the Kates are joined by 1000 Hours Dry founder Kayla Lyons for a conversation about the strength of sober community, her road to sobriety, her motivation for founding 1000 Hours Dry, and the importance of inclusiveness when it comes to promoting sobriety.
53:42
July 29, 2021
Sex and Love Addiction with Brianne Davis
The things we turn to to fill ourselves up can take a lot of forms—alcohol, drugs, and even other people. This week, the Kates are joined by actress, author, and podcast host Brianne Davis as she shares her recovery from sex and love addiction, how SLA has been normalized, how substance use can mask SLA addiction, and how she's learned to love herself on her own terms. If you think you might be suffering from sex and love addiction, you can find more resources here: Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Intergroup Philly
46:40
July 15, 2021
Sober Dads: Derek Bolen (feat. Noah)
For their second episode about sober fatherhood, the Kates are joined again by Producer Derek to discuss his accidental road to fatherhood, his accidental road to sobriety, how he manages parenting stress, and how removing alcohol has given him the gift of connection with his son. They also get a visit from 7 year old Noah who talks about what his dad's sobriety means to him.
40:33
July 01, 2021
Sober Dads: Chris Marshall of Sans Bar
In a Father's Day episode of The After Party, we're joined by superdad Chris Marshall of Austin's Sans Bar, who opens up about his relationship with his father, his own journey to sobriety, his initial fears around fatherhood, and his road to becoming a dad himself through fostering and adoption. We also discuss drinking dad culture and how sobriety helps him to show up better for his kids. Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there!
01:09:24
June 17, 2021
Sobriety + Boundaries with Amanda White, LPC (@therapyforwomen)
The Kates round out May - Mental Health Awareness Month - with licensed therapist, retired party girl, and @therapyforwomencenter founder Amanda E. White, LPC. Listen to hear all about Amanda’s very own experiences being in recovery from substance use disorder and an eating disorder. These Philly sober ladies also talk boundaries : what are they? And how can we stick to them? You can find more about Amanda at : IG: @therapyforwomen @therapyforwomencenter Website: therapyforwomencenter.com
38:57
May 27, 2021
Sober Step Mom: Big Kate
This episode Big Kate speaks about her new life as a step-mom. Plus, why it's okay to not want children. Can you guess which Kate has baby fever and which Kate is waiting?
34:39
May 20, 2021
Sober Moms: Trish and Danielle
The Kates are joined by their cousins today! Listen in as Kate and Kate talk to their cousins Trish and Danielle on what it is like to be a sober mom. They dive into their take on the "mommy wine" culture, share their favorite sober mom resources and describe how sobriety influences their parenting. 
45:57
May 13, 2021
Sober Moms: Mackenzie
Celebrate Sober Moms this month! The Kates spend time with Mackenzie, a sober mother from Albany, NY. Mackenzie's extraordinary journey will take you through the reasons she got sober and how sobriety has helped her be more a more present mom.  Find Mackenzie at : @mackenzie_i_r on Instagram  and  www.soberirl.com/albany
49:12
May 06, 2021
We Do Deliver Pt. 5
Another round of listener questions for the Kates! Join in as they discuss telling family they are sober, how to join society again after sobriety and what it is normal to daydream about! Happy Thursday y'all!
34:29
April 29, 2021
Punch-Drunk Love
The Sober Kates talk to the one and only, Dave, of Betweens Acts and LK's husband. Kate and Kate dive deep with Dave, as he takes us through his own relationship with booze. This is a flip-side perspective from a partner who drinks and how he was able to support LK in her sober journey. TW: chats and stories about drinking. You can find out more about Dave + @betweenactsmusic here: www.instagram.com/betweenactsmusic/ www.youtube.com/channel/UCDUhpWmyiPu2UPIHYMdlUWw
41:59
April 22, 2021
House Party ep 3
Join Kate and Kate for our April edition of the HOUSE PARTY!  This month we have our sober friends Lex (@onelesspartygirl) and Jess (@jessica_jeanine) joining us.  Lex @onelesspartygirl onelesspartygirl.com Jessica @jessica_jeanine Check out Jess' project "Our Closet Project"- providing free clothing for sober women! Stay tuned for more in person events, as well as a place to donate.
01:07:46
April 12, 2021
Ch-Ch-Changes
The Kates are going through changes. Learn about how they plan deal with their new futures, what they've been up to the last 3 weeks, and how Big Kate feels about turning 4 (years sober!).
26:48
April 01, 2021
YEAR ONE
The Sober Kates celebrate ONE YEAR of the The After Party. Listen up as the ladies celebrate their very successful freshman year by interviewing each other again.
38:35
March 27, 2021
Love Letter to Big Kate
Happy 4 years of sobriety to my best friend. You mean the world to me. Here is a letter to profess my love. That is all.
06:16
March 18, 2021
House Party ep 2
Welcome to the second episode of the "House Party". This week, the Kates hand the mic over to Julia, Sinead and Jamie. Tune in to hear their stories of getting sober, what helps them stay sober and their random would you rather answers. Find them on IG: Sinead- @sineadstewart www.sineadstewart.com Jamie - @jamieisfancyaf https://www.soberirl.com/longisland/ @jonjeremymusic - sober musician
01:17:40
March 11, 2021
Lonely Hearts Club
Today the Kate's cover the growing trend in quarantine called Social Isolation!! We are now a year into this pandemic and can no longer hide around the corner from our enemy-- loneliness. Find out what the Kate's have done to connect with friends. They also talk about how they are keeping healthy.
25:32
March 04, 2021
Sober For Hire
Should sobriety be a business? The Sober Kates share their input in the great debate. Plus: how addiction cycles have a tendency to manifest and repeat themselves. 
40:31
February 26, 2021
We Do Deliver Pt 4
The Sober Kates answer all your latest must know questions! Plus, why TSK considering rebranding as the "SSRI Kates". ****Disclaimer: This podcast may include some triggers regarding drinking and it includes mature content. These stories and experiences are our own and what has worked for us may not necessarily work for you. This is not a substitution for treatment of any kind.****
38:47
February 18, 2021
House Party
The Sober Kates turn over The After Party mic. Introducing their new monthly segment, “House Party”. First guests include Alix, Megan, & Karla. Listen to their sober journeys, how they stay sober, and what’s next. Find them on IG: Alix - @bettermeddler Meg - @gramsbymerg Karla -@karla_is_sober https://www.soberirl.com/karla/
59:38
February 11, 2021
Party Girls Don't Get Hurt
Ex Party People, Retired Black-Out Artists, is it okay to admit you had fun and good memories in your drinking days-- before the darkness took over, the good times ran out, and shame and rock bottom moved in? The Sober Kates discuss the space they hold for their party girl pasts and how to always be proud of the journey.
28:09
January 28, 2021
The After Party with friends: Omar Pinto of the Omar Pinto Coaching Podcast
Omar Pinto is a recovery and life coach and the host of the brand new “Omar Pinto Coaching Podcast”. This week he joins The Kates to talk about his recovery journey and personal growth through 18 years of sobriety. Four years ago, “O” was crucial to the Kates’ early sobriety — listen along as he transforms their lives again. www.omarpinto.com ****Disclaimer: This podcast may include some triggers regarding drinking and it includes mature content. These stories and experiences are our own and what has worked for us may not necessarily work for you. This is not a substitution for treatment of any kind.****
01:23:50
January 21, 2021
WHAT'S GOOD?
And they're back! The Sober Kates pop 2021 off by realizing they can't be sober influencers--because they hate social media!  Plus, find out how Little Kate is feeling for her 4 YEAR Soberversary! ****Disclaimer: This podcast may include some triggers regarding drinking and it includes mature content. These stories and experiences are our own and what has worked for us may not necessarily work for you. This is not a substitution for treatment of any kind.****
34:52
January 14, 2021
20/21 Vision
The Kate's recap the year from hell, 2020. Tune in to hear some of their highs from their "new normal" of a world . Also included are some tips on how to stay sober during the holiday season. 
28:15
December 24, 2020
The Five Love Languages
The Sober Kates deep dive into Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages--Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.  Find out your love language at www.5lovelanguages.com and see how you compare to the ladies.
32:27
December 17, 2020
We Do Deliver Pt. 3
Listener questions! You asked The Sober Kates about: weird cravings, using the word "forever", booze alternatives, how to find sober friends, and dealing with a partner that still drinks. The ladies weigh-in on all these great Q's and of course, some stuff no one asked about. Let's get The After Party started!
36:21
December 10, 2020
Lemme, Lemme Update Ya
The Sober Kates catch up after a week off. The ladies walk us through their experience with EFT/Tapping, a mental health misdiagnosis, and another COVID cliffhanger. 
30:20
December 03, 2020
Wobble 'til you Gobble
Thanksgiving - the holiday of ultimate overindulgence. Drink til you wobble on Thanksgiving Eve, then gobble til you puke. Or is it vice versa? The Sober Kates explore what this celebrated gluttony and debauchery means for those of us with substance abuse disorder. The ladies provide their 5 best tips on making it through the long weekend. 
29:40
November 19, 2020
Stoned Sober
The Sober Kates discuss the rise of #CALISOBER aka abstaining from alcohol but smoking weed. Listen up as the ladies chat about their history with pot and if it’s in their sober fanny pack. Also - they dive into what being “sober” means to them, and the decriminalization and legality of drugs.
33:21
November 12, 2020
United Kates of America
Election Day 2020 has descended upon us*. With both Kates back in the US of A, and their votes officially in, how are they dealing with setting boundaries, dealing with social media and talking politics. Will America's nightmare continue or end? Also: Big Kate returns to work on the road and the joy of interacting with people again. Little Kate recaps her trick or treating experience.  *Episode recorded before election day
25:21
November 05, 2020
My Boundaries, My Choice
A long overdue episode: Boundaries. The Kates discuss everyone's favorite buzzword. Learn how they set boundaries in their sobriety and how it feels when boundaries are set against them.  Also, the benefits of setting them and the dangers of not. Plus! a whole lot of "GFY"s.
47:14
October 29, 2020
The Passion of The Kates
This week The Sober Kates discuss passions found in sobriety. And sometimes how passion is lost. Plus! A resolution to Little Kate's Covid Cliffhanger.
23:21
October 22, 2020
SAD and Spooky
This Thirsty Thursday, the Kates get b-a-s-i-c with everyone's favorite fall activities: pumpkin patches, Halloween, and struggling with the crushing weight of their own existence. Hear how they're coping with shorter days and sweater weather while still staying sober.
44:44
October 09, 2020
What's In a Relapse?
COVID, isolation, economic downturns, an election year—with all the stress on people's mental health, it seems like relapses are at an all time high. The Kates discuss Dax Shepard's relapse, addiction gaslighting, their own struggles with relapsing, the blurry definition of a relapse, and where they draw the line. Also: aura pictures, anniversaries, emotional rock bottoms. If you're struggling at all, PLEASE REACH OUT.
47:14
October 01, 2020
Never Have I Ever, Again
Everything's feeling pretty heavy these days, so the Kates get light and see who's done the most (or least?) Highlights: getting kicked out of bars, peeing on things, drinking on planes, and more. Play along at home!
29:49
September 24, 2020
Sober of the Month Club
Sobriety as a trend: helpful, or harmful? Do sober months actually benefit anyone? Did you know alcohol increases depression and anxiety? For the soberish or sober-curious, sobriety challenges can be a gateway to a new and improved life or a temporary break from their old one. But for people in the sober community, 'temporary' sobriety can minimize the struggles they've been through. The Kates are here to talk us through all the nuances of sober challenges, and remember: everyone has their own journey!
38:14
September 17, 2020
The After Party with Friends: Rachel Brady of Shots to Shakes
This week, the Kates are joined by Rachel Brady of Shots to Shakes to discuss her journey to sobriety, leaning on alcohol as a coping mechanism, the return of Saturn, what's in her sober fanny pack, rehearsing for therapy, the commodification of sobriety, performative vulnerability, and her forthcoming podcast!
55:32
September 10, 2020
Birthday Kates
Turning another year older used to mean blackouts and bar nights. Now it means reflection, introspection, and appreciating the journey they've been on. Learn how the Kates are celebrating themselves more in sobriety, navigating birthdays without alcohol, and what the perfect birthday looks like now.
41:34
September 03, 2020
Heavy Hearts
Sobriety isn't all sunshine and roses. In an extra vulnerable Thirsty Thursday, the Kates open up about what they've been struggling with lately—Little Kate is coping with the anniversary of her brother's death and all the emotions that brings with it. Big Kate has been trying to navigate conflict in a long distance relationship during a global pandemic. Hear about their struggles, their successes, and what they're doing to find their way through while staying sober.
45:60
August 27, 2020
We Do Deliver Pt. 2
This week, the Kates answer everything you've ever wanted to know—and more. Join them for another entertaining Thirsty Thursday as they discuss their goals in sobriety, how to support the sober people in your network, whether their younger selves would appreciate who they became, and which five people they'd have at their dream dinner. Stay until the end to find out which Kate you should bet on in a fight to the death.
37:55
August 20, 2020
Beauty and the Booze
In an extra beautiful episode of The After Party, these two beauts reflect on beauty and self-worth in drinking and sobriety: what ‘beauty’ used to mean to them and how they strived to be beautiful, how their perceptions and standards of beauty have changed in sobriety the beauty of vulnerability, and how sobriety has helped them to love themselves better.
45:02
August 13, 2020
The After Party with Friends: Lou Redmond, Author of 'Find Your Truth'
Lou Redmond is an author, meditation guide, transformational coach, and sobriety is his superpower. When the Kates were in early sobriety, they listened to a podcast interview with Lou that helped reinforce the journey they were on. This week, it comes full circle as Lou joins the podcast to discuss his experience with alcohol and substance abuse, his journey to sobriety, the power of words, non-alcoholic beverages, and how he overcame his fear, spontaneously quit his job, and found his truth.
01:31:40
August 06, 2020
Why Can't We Be Friends?
It's one for the normies! This week at The After Party, the Kates give advice to people with sober friends: what to say, what not to say, how to approach sobriety with curiosity, and how to best support them (hint: never say you liked them better when they drank.) Also: being triggered by hand sanitizer and neighborhood peep shows.
39:39
July 30, 2020
The After Party with friends: Amy C. Willis of HOL + WELL
Amy C. Willis is a sobriety and mindset coach and the founder of HOL + WELL. This week she joins the Kates to talk about the impact of grief on her drinking, relapses and recovery, and her journey into holistic wellness for herself and ultimately the start of her business, HOL + WELL.
50:18
July 23, 2020
Never Have I Ever
The Sober Kates play 'Never Have I Ever', uncensored and unfiltered. Is the Kate that finishes first the winner or the loser? If you’re not into learning if The Kates have been bottomless in a hot tub, Fast forward past the lewd and crude to where they chat about greatest fears and childhood dreams.
39:29
July 16, 2020
My Best Friend's Wedding
This week on The After Party, a very special wedding-themed announcement. Also, how to plan a sober wedding, whether sober couples have a responsibility to accommodate drinkers, and the beauty of being present on your wedding day.
41:13
July 09, 2020
Intimacy Impotency
Let's talk about sex, baby. This week, 'Thirsty Thursday' takes on a whole other meaning when the Kates get real about their sexual histories. From losing their virginities, drunken hookups turning from empowerment to embarrassment, the difference between sex and intimacy, what's harder: sober sex or drunk sex, and tampon mishaps. All this and a surprise engagement announcement on an unsurprisingly raunchy edition of The After Party.
43:41
July 02, 2020
Summertime Slopness
Happy Summer 2020! What season is the most triggering for your sobriety? Does the sweet smell of BBQs make you think of your drinking days? Or is it the stress of the holidays that make you want to grab that eggnog? The Kates spend the episode recounting less sober summers and what's changed for them in sobriety (hint: there's still booty sweat). Also: anti-racism, Father's Day daddy issues, and the eternal joy of ghosting early. Happy Thirsty Thursday, wear a mask.
40:22
June 25, 2020
The Shame Game
This Thirsty Thursday, the Kates get vulnerable: they discuss the BLM movement and their journey to become better allies, before diving in to a topic near and dear to every addicts heart: shame. They discuss their earliest memories of shame, their most shameful moments, the phrases that spiked their shame after a night of drinking, the long journey to move past their former selves, and how they've learned to cope with shame in healthier ways.
58:48
June 18, 2020
What's In Your Fanny Pack?
The fanny pack is coming back, and the Kates carry two of them: one literal (full of COVID gear) and one metaphorical (full of sober tools). This week at The After Party, the Kates share what's helped keep them sober both in early and long-term sobriety, how to get back on track when your coping mechanisms aren't working, keeping yourself accountable, authenticity and community, and the long-awaited pee stories. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
44:04
May 28, 2020
The After Party with Friends: Derek of VanSober
Four and a half years ago, podcast producer (and Big Kate's boyfriend) Derek finally did something bad enough to quit drinking for good. This week, he joins the Kates to discuss his greatest hits and lowlights, how sobriety helped him evolve as a person, how he started drinking, how sobriety has made him a better father, and how he got sobriety to stick this time. BONUS: why does he like the Kates so much? Follow Derek on Instagram at @van_sober.
01:01:40
May 21, 2020
We Do Deliver
In honor of Mother’s Day, the Kates discuss their relationships with their mothers, their biological clocks, and their maternal tendencies. Also: listener questions, answered! Find out if the Kates still get triggered by alcohol, how they avoid judging people who still drink, whether their finances have improved since they quit drinking, sobriety 2.0, the worst parts of sobriety, and opening up about their mental health.
57:37
May 14, 2020
A Shot at Love with TSK
This week, 'Thirsty Thursday' takes on a whole other meaning as the Kates walk us through their dating histories and how sobriety changed everything for them. Looking for love in all the wrong places, finding self worth in others, He's Just Not That Into You, tales of surviving addiction and abuse, drunk dating vs. sober dating, and how they finally found the love they deserved...in themselves. Bonus: more saucy stories than an issue of Cosmo. Get it while it's hot.
01:02:03
May 07, 2020
Friends in Low Places
In this time of social distancing, the Kates look back at how their friendship has evolved from their party girl days through sobriety, and how their view of what friendship is evolved with it, losing friends while finding themselves, and making new friends in sobriety. Also: updates about pandemic life, and how Zoom burnout is draining us all. Happy Thirsty Thursday!
51:55
April 30, 2020
Run, Trauma, Run!
Generational trauma is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. This week The Sober Kates trace back to their childhoods to examine how their beliefs around alcohol (and themselves) were formed. We learn about embracing your inner child and “breaking the brace” for your future selves. Bonus: Feeling good during COVID19, the horror!
50:06
April 23, 2020
Ghosts of Therapists Past
If at first you don't succeed, find another therapist. The Sober Kates discuss the many trials of finding the right therapist, what initially turned their focus inward, why alcohol isn't a cure for suffering, the hardest feelings they've had to process, and what happened when they stopped self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. Press play to hear where they would be today if they never decided to examine their own suffering and save themselves.
49:22
April 16, 2020
Rock Bottom Roulette
Happy Thirsty Thursday! On a pre-COVID episode of The Soberkates, the Kates discuss their own individual 'rock bottoms', the experiences that led them to sober up, what immediate sobriety looked like, the power of picking yourself, rock bottom vs maximum capacity, alcoholic and sober identity, losing friends by choosing yourself, how to come out of the sober closet, and the importance of boundaries in early sobriety. Plus: they drink some beverages!
50:35
April 09, 2020
Quarankates
PSA: Stay HOME. In Episode 3 the Sober Kates are separated from each other, Oh NO! How do they cope with being apart? Very differently of course! Finding positivity in a pandemic, coping skills that don't require alcohol, and finding things to be grateful for even when it seems like the world is falling apart. Listen along as BK + LK share what is helping them survive COVID-19.
31:58
April 02, 2020
Wait, You Know The Kates?
If you didn't know THE KATES before, you will now. Part two switches the hot seat to Little Kate, interviewed by Big Kate. Find out how a Nerd Kate and a Popular Kate could intertwine their lives like a BFF rom-com that is mostly rock bottoms, with a dual sober victory. Follow along for Little Kate's journey to giving up booze, plus period talk, learning how to say no, and being an iconic duo.
42:49
March 26, 2020
Revolutionary Kates
How do you transition from a Party Kate to a Sober Kate? We're taking it back to where it all started. On the eve of Big Kate's soberversary, Little Kate interviews Big Kate about how their friendship began and all the changes that have taken place from that moment back in 2001. Listen as Big Kate talks about what lead her to sobriety and how it has changed her identity. When Big Kate isn't being depressive aggressive, we also hear about the Revolutionary War of 8th Grade, Strip Club lunch dates, and fanny pack snacks.
37:34
March 26, 2020
Before The After Party
Coming soon: The After Party is a podcast featuring two sober thirty-somethings attempting to navigate life and answer the question 'what happens when the party is over?'
00:33
March 04, 2020