
Asking for a Friend
By Kara-Kae James
Join us as we break free from the status quo and engage in conversations that matter.


78: What is a woman's role?
Many women are struggling to find their place in the church today. From misguided teachings to dangerous theology, women have been told to sit down, be quiet...or even go home. So, what is a woman's role?
In this episode, I'm having a raw and honest conversation with Meghan Tschanz about women in the church and how the church has come to look very similar to the sex industry. Meghan shares her powerful story of working with exploited women, and what that means for the church.
*Trigger warning -- We talk about some dangerous harm done to women in the sex industry.
LINKS:
The making of biblical womanhood
Meghan's Book: Women Rising
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77: How do I talk to my kids about hard things?
It's no secret that kids are facing grief, trauma and mental health. We don't want to shelter our kids from the hard things happening -- so how do we talk to them about hard things?
In this episode, I'm chatting with Drs David & Donna Lane about how to have hard conversations with our kids about the things happening in our world and around them. They give great advice on walking through grief and trauma with our kids, and how to help kids through mental health struggles.
LINKS
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76: How do I navigate sexuality as a Christian woman?
As Christian women, the conversation around sex, singleness, and desire is a struggle. Even in marriage, it can be difficult to separate truth from the lies of purity culture. How do we navigate sexuality in a way that honors God?
Kat Harris and I are chatting today on the podcast about what it looks like to live with sexual integrity as a Christian woman. Kat gives challenging advice for the woman who desires to honor God with her body – and shares powerful truth about what Jesus really had to say about women.
LINKS
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75: How can people of mixed ethnicity find belonging?
“What are you?”
Many of us will never know what it’s like to get that question. For those with multiethnic and multicultural backgrounds, finding their place can be painful, but it can also provide unique opportunities to connect with Jesus and the world around us. How can people of mixed ethnicity find belonging?
Today I’m answering that question with Chandra Crane! With a Thai birth father, a European American mother, and an African American father who adopted her when she was five, Chandra’s experience provides powerful encouragement for anyone who is searching for belonging.
LINKS
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74: How can women speak up when silenced?
If you have ever felt your voice silenced, this episode is for you. For so many women -- this is part of your story. In this episode, I'm chatting with Tiffany Bluhm, author of the book "Prey Tell: Why We Silence Women Who Tell the Truth and How Everyone Can Speak Up". We discuss how women can speak up when they feel silenced and the power of your voice in this #metoo age.
In this episode, you will hear:
→ Why women stay silent instead of speaking out against injustice.
→ How to be an advocate for a silenced woman.
→ Encouragement and practical tips for the woman feeling silenced.
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73: How can we find purpose in pain?
When tragedy strikes, it’s easy to feel hopeless. But what if the very thing that hurts us is the thing that God wants to use? What if we allowed Him to use our pain to mold us into who He wants us to be?
If you’re struggling to find the purpose in your pain, this episode is for you! I’m chatting with author Andrea Bourgeois about seeking God in the midst of the struggles we experience. Andrea shares the lessons she has learned through her own trials and powerful encouragement for using your pain to impact those around you.
LINKS
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72: Can God use rejection for good?
We all know what it’s like to feel the sting of rejection. Whether it happened when you were a child or it happened last week, it can be difficult to put your heart back out there. Where is God in the midst of our heartache and can He really use rejection for good?
Today I’m answering these hard questions with Kait Warness. Join us as Kait gives practical advice for bouncing back from rejection and reminds us that heartbreak is what makes us into who we are.
LINKS
Thank You for Rejecting Me Book
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71: What is it like as a Black woman and bridge builder?
As Black History Month comes to a close, we still have work to do. How can we continue to elevate the voices of people of color? What does it look like to authentically come alongside one another as bridge builders?
This week I’m rounding out my February series with Patricia Taylor, as she shares her experience as a Black woman and bridge builder! We chat through what it looks like to be authentically yourself as a woman of color and how white people can continue to elevate the voices of BIPOC long after Black History Month. Patricia shares the importance of knowing your “why” and encouragement for the body of Christ to step into hard things with one another.
LINKS
Some Thoughts From Your Black Friend FB
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70: What is it like to be a Black woman in publishing?
One of the first steps towards anti-racism is learning from the everyday experiences of people of color. This Black History Month, I’m speaking with Black women of different backgrounds and life stages, listening to their stories, and elevating their voices.
Dorena Williamson and I are chatting today about her experience as a best-selling children’s author! Dorena shares the inspiration behind her writing and gives powerful encouragement for women of color aspiring to be published. We’ll also talk about our shared experience as pastor’s wives and how each of us, no matter our story, can continue to show up in the face of discouragement and doubt.
LINKS
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69: What is it like as a Black woman in the marketplace?
One of the first steps towards anti-racism is learning from the everyday experiences of people of color. This Black History Month, I’m speaking with Black women of different backgrounds and life stages, listening to their stories, and elevating their voices.
This week, I’m chatting with Jena Holliday of a Spoonful of Faith. Jena shares her journey to becoming an illustrator (including her most recent partnership with Target!) and using her gifts to champion women from all walks of life.
LINKS
Spoonful of Faith Tumbler at Target
Spoonful of Faith Journal at Target
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68: What is it like to be a Black woman in education?
One of the first steps towards anti-racism is learning from the everyday experiences of people of color. This Black History Month, I’m speaking with Black women of different backgrounds and life stages, listening to their stories, and elevating their voices.
If you love to learn and want to feel supported on your anti-racism journey, today’s episode is for you! Join me in hearing from Lucretia Berry as she shares her experience as a Black woman in education.
LINKS
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67: How can I study the Bible as a busy woman?
Work, family, school, church… In the midst of a busy world, making the Bible a priority can seem like one more thing on a never-ending to-do list. If you’re struggling to consistently enjoy time in God’s word, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.
Today I’m chatting with Brittany Ann about what it looks like to fall in love with God’s word. Brittany gives great encouragement for the woman who feels like she can’t get it all done, and practical advice for making a daily habit of studying the Bible.
LINKS
Fall in Love With God's Word Book
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66: Where can I find hope when I feel stuck in life?
As Christ followers, we know that Jesus is coming back to make things right. We know He’s going to restore all things. But until then, it’s easy to feel stuck, as we deal with the reality of life in a broken world.
Where can we find hope? Today I’m answering that question with Kat Armstrong as she shares encouragement for all of us who find ourselves in in-between places.
LINKS
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65: How do we redeem purity culture?
If you’ve been around church for a while, you’ve likely been impacted by the messages of purity culture. Rachel Joy Welcher believes it’s time to talk back.
If you are struggling with untangling God’s desire for sex, dating, and marriage from the lies of purity culture -- this episode is for you. In this episode, Rachel gives great encouragement for those who have been wounded by the Church’s definition of sexual purity, and practical advice for changing the conversation.
LINKS
Talking Back to Purity Culture Book
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64: How do I fight back against fear and anxiety?
As we kick off a new year, how do we move forward and fight back against fear and anxiety? How do we continue to show up on our darkest days? Whether you consider yourself “Queen of the New Year” or the glamour is already wearing off, this episode is for you!
Today I’m chatting with Hannah Brencher, author of “Fighting Forward”, about how to establish rhythms, practice discipline, and show up for yourself January 1st and beyond.
LINKS FROM THE EPISODE:
Fighting Forward Book
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63: What the 2020?
Well, we did it. We made it to the end of 2020, the longest year of our lives. But it’s not all bad — there were some great things that came from 2020! In this final episode of the year, Brook and I are sitting down to chat through all the major things that impacted women, culture and the church. Plus, if you are looking for a book or twelve to read, we’ve got you covered!
LINKS FROM THE EPISODE:
There are tons of links this week! Head over to see the full show notes here!
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62: How can I find comfort in suffering?
We all face seasons of suffering and hardship. In these times, we often find ourselves feeling isolated and alone in our pain. How can we find comfort and companionship when life gets dark?
Today, I’m chatting with Wendy Alsup as she reintroduces us to the companions in suffering that God has given us in His word. Wendy also gives practical advice for walking alongside friends who are suffering, and encouragement for those who are currently in the thick of it.
Companions in Suffering: Comfort for Times of Loss and Loneliness Book
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61: How can I calm down about parenting?
There is so much pressure on parents to do everything and be everything for their kids. How calm down and lighten up about parenting? If you feel the need to let go a bit, this episode is for you!
Melanie Dale and I are chatting about how to calm down about parenting. You will be encouraged by Melanie’s joy and walk away with some great tools to calm the h*ck down!
Episode 27: Can my parenting survive the apocalypse? with Melanie Dale
Calm the H*ck Down Book
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60: How should the church handle racism?
The American church still remains one of the most segregated places in the world. How should the church approach this struggle? Is there a place in the church to talk about politics?
Today I’m answering these hard questions with Trillia Newbell. Join us as we approach this tough topic and give practical ways to step into this space.
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59: Can I find joy in the holidays in 2020?
The holidays can be hard enough for many people but then throw in the chaos of 2020…yikes. Is it possible to find joy in the holidays of 2020?
I’m chatting with Mary Carver about how to find joy in the holidays when it’s a struggle. We chat about holiday movies, difficult family members, and practical ways to give back.
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58: How can I find peace in a noisy world?
The world is noisy. It’s filled with criticism, rejection, and pushback. And when you already struggle with anxiety and/or an inner critic, it feels like a road to failure.
Is it possible to find peace in a noisy world? I’m answering that question with Jamie Grace as we give some really practical ways to find peace in the noise.
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57: How can I love people I don't agree with?
When we find ourselves on the other side of an election, how can we continue to love people we don’t agree with? If you are struggling with seeing others through a lens of love this season, this episode is for you!
Today I am chatting with Sarah Anderson and giving you some ways to find your place in this conversation and give grace to others.
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56: Why should Christians care about politics?
The political season can be CRAZY, but can Christians find their place in politics? Should we even care? If you are struggling with all the pressure and struggles around politics, this episode is for you!
Today I’m chatting with Kaitlyn Schiess, author of “The Liturgy of Politics” about how Christians can find their place in this conversation.
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55: What does it mean to be pro-life?
If you are struggling with the pull of being pro-life, but wanting to honor God, women, and culture -- this episode is for you. In this episode I'm sharing a bit of what it means for me to be pro-life, talking through the nuances of the topic, and answering a few of your hard questions.
LINKS
What about Abortion by Holy Post
EP 30: How should the church handle abortion?
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54: How is the foster system impacting youth?
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Live in Grace, Walk in Love by Bob Goff
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53: Can you help me understand the foster system?
Kicking off a two week series as we look deeper into foster care. This week, my dear friend Ruthie Hart who is a biological parent, adoptive parent, and foster parent is helping us understand all things surrounding foster care. We chat through what the foster system looks like for children, how you can get involved in foster care, and what the process looks like.
LINKS IN THE EPISODE:
Foster Care Information (You can google for your state!)
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52: What did I miss? (Part 2)
It's time for another episode of What Did I Miss? with Kara-Kae and Elizabeth! We discuss books, movies, tv shows, another things that have impacted us over the past couple of months.
If you are looking for resources to help you reframe your thinking about the world, this is the perfect episode for you!
LINKS FROM THE SHOW:
- You’ve Been Volunteered
- To the End of June
- Reconstructing the Gospel
- Rediscipling the White Church
- PURE
- The Liturgy of the Ordinary
- Honey Boy
- Cuties
- Unorthodox
- One of Us
- The Social Dilemma
- Nice White Parents
- The Oral History of the Office
- Evolving Faith Podcast
- Jen Hatmaker’s Enneagram Series
- Selling Sunset
- Married at First Sight
- Get Organized
- Cobra Kai
- Dead to Me
- Sherlock
- The Umbrella Academy

51: Is justice biblical?
While justice definitely isn’t a new concept, it’s something we are seeing brought to our attention lately in the news and all around us. There has been a lot of focus on the word justice, but is it biblical?
In this episode, I'm chatting with Donna Barber - Executive Director of The Voices Project and author of Bread for the Resistance. If you struggle with wondering if this conversation of justice is for you, this is a must listen!
LINKS FOR THE EPISODE:
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50: What is the best way to serve those in need?
There is poverty and homelessness all around us. How can we step into the margins and what are the best ways to serve those in need?
Terence Lester is joining me to discuss this incredibly important topic. He gives us some great practical advice for what it looks like to help others. Let's go serve well!

49: How can we fight racial systems that divide us?
Is white supremacy at work in our churches? Unfortunately, YES. When we are ready to face this hard truth, then what? Today I’m chatting with Daniel Hill and how to fight the racial systems that divide us by better understanding the lies we face.
Daniel shares his own path of racial awakening and how that changed his life and ministry. We break down a few of the lies we face and how to bridge the divide.
LINKS FROM THE SHOWWhy do all the Black kids sit together in the Cafeteria? by Dr. Beverly Tatum

48: Can I trust God's plan for my life?
We love to put Jeremiah 29:11 on our coffee mugs and wall prints — but what does it REALLY mean? How can we truly trust that God is in control of our lives? Does he really have our best in mind?
In this great conversation with Megan Marshaman we dive in deep to what is means to trust God. If God gives us a hope and a future, what does that look like?
LINKS FROM THE SHOWSacred Rhythms by Ruth Haley Barton
Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

47: How can I improve my prayer life?
Prayer can be tough for many of us. It can be challenging to talk to someone we can't touch or see. If you feel this struggle, this episode is for you! I'm chatting with Chrystal Hurst about creating a great prayer life and what it looks like to pray without ceasing. You will walk away from this conversation encouraged and ready to have a deeper relationship with God!

46: What are the secrets of a secure woman? (Part 3)
Today we are wrapping up the series “what are the secrets of a secure woman?” as I chat with Rachel Kang about her experience in finding security in our identity. Rachel has an incredible story of family, heritage and finding herself through Christ at the center of it all. Let's be secure women!
LINKS FROM THE SHOWPlaying in the Dark Toni Morrison
Toni Morrison - The Pieces I Am (PBS) (Apple TV)

45: What are the secrets of a secure woman? (Part 2)
Nicki gives some great encouragement and advice in loving yourself and your body no matter where you are. Come hear all of her secrets to being secure!
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44: What are the secrets of a secure woman? (Part 1)
We all want to be secure as women, but is there a secret sauce to what security looks like? In part one of a three part series, I’m chatting with Alli Worthington about what it looks like to be a secure woman throughout the seasons we find ourselves in.
Alli gives great encouragement to what it looks like to stand strong through adversity, and find our security as a woman where God calls us.
LINKS FROM THE SHOWStanding Strong by Alli Worthington
Callings by William Placer
Atomic Habits by James Clear

43: What did I miss?
I have a really fun episode for you today as I welcome back Elizabeth for a great chat about resources. In this episode of “What did I miss?” (Thanks Thomas Jefferson), Elizabeth and I discuss what to read and watch that have impacted us over the past few months (and some fun things too). If you are looking for some resources to help reframe your thinking, this is the perfect episode for you!
LINKS:
Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria
White Fragility
Long Way Home
Everything’s Trash But It’s Okay
The Residence
Native
Born a Crime
The Myth of the American Dream
Such a Fun Age
Rhythms of Renewal
Blackfish
Athlete A
Unorthodox
Stateless
A 3 Minute Hug
The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez
Filthy Rich
Down to Earth

42: Can America really be united?

41: What's really going on at the border?
Immigration. Such a hard topic in our culture today, but a much needed conversation. Maybe you are unsure of what to believe and struggling to understand the narrative behind immigration. Today's episode is a great conversation with Sarah Jackson, author of "The House the Love Built" and Executive Director of Casa de Paz.
Because, immigrants...we get the job done.
LINKS FROM THE SHOW
Brene Brown interview with Ibram X. Kendi
How to be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi

40: How do I wait well?
We all know what it’s like to wait, and it’s not always an easy spot to be in. Whether we are waiting for a pandemic to end, waiting on an answer from God, waiting for a job — we all know what it’s like to wait.
Today I’m chatting with Jessica Hottle about how to wait well. When we find ourselves in seasons of getting a “no” or simply waiting, how can we do it with grace and patience?

39: How do I talk to my kids about pornography?

38: Why does the Church not talk about sex?

37: How do I talk to my kids about racism?
The number one question I’ve gotten recently from listeners is “how can I talk to my kids about racism?”, so I invited Jenny Delacruz to have this important conversation with me! Jenny and I tackle why it’s so important to talk to our kids about race, before they develop the world view of someone else.
We urge you to have this conversation with your kids and make it something you talk about often!

36: What if I doubt God?
Is it okay to doubt and ask questions of God? It’s a heavy question with many caveats, but an important conversation!
I had a great chat with Knox McCoy, author of All Things Reconsidered and co-host of The Popcast, to share our own stories of doubt, deconstruction and reconsidering what we've always believed . We hope you find your place here to approach your doubts and ask big questions.
LINKS FROM THE SHOWAll Things Reconsidered by Knox McCoy
Searching for Sunday by Rachel Held Evans
The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron
Beyond Belief by Elaine Pagels
Finding God in the Waves by Mike McHargue

35: How can I make my marriage last?

34: How should we respond to injustice?

33: How can the Church support singles?

32: Does my voice matter?
Do you ever feel like your voice doesn’t count? Do you feel silenced or not know where to start? Today I’m chatting with Csilla Muscan about why every one has a unique voice and how you have space to share your voice!
Csilla shares about her upbringing in a communist society and how she has learned to use her voice for good over the years. You will be so encouraged by her story!
LINKS FROM THE SHOWLeadershift by John Maxwell

31: What do moms really want?

30: How should the Church handle abortion?

29: How do I overcome stereotypes?
As women, we feel the pressure to be a lot of things and stereotypes are constantly placed on us. How can we overcome those stereotypes?
This week’s conversation with Simi John about stereotypes is a must listen! We chat about stereotypes we’ve both battled and ways to overcome and live out our callings.
Kim Walker Smith “How He Loves”
The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg
“So You Want to be Like Christ” by Chuck Swindoll