The Frontcourt Female

View from Jillian's court: I (finally) learned how to stop lowering the volume on myself and JUST. LISTEN.

2:25- An awakening can be simple as this: there is another way.

4:30- BIG-ASS Q: how do we answer the call of our deeper knowing?

6:00- Messy: why we devalue what we know we want, in order to do what we’re told is right.

10:00- Self-abandonment over mimosas: spoiler alert, this isn’t normal.

12:00- We prioritize belonging to a group over sense of self, TIL WE DON'T.

14:30- BIG-ASS Q: What truth do I know deep down that I’m not willing to face?

18:00- Using your voice in relationships is to affirm yourself, not receive external affirmation.

22:00- If you require dating approval from your brunch friends, what does that say about where you’re sourcing your power?

25:00- How to distinguish fear from intuition.

27:00- BIG UNPOPULAR TRUF: Perceived powerlessness is your drug of choice.

32:00- BIG UNPOPULAR TRUF: Get more sober to get more intentional.

35:00- Feelings follow behavior: changing your language to internalize self-worth.

37:00- But what if I wanna run? Going to the edge of trust by staying.

40:00- Daily self-trust practices to stuff into your pocket, bra, socks, WHEREVER.

44:00- When a feeling moves through you, how often do you form judgement against it?

46:00- Using feelings in your favor, fear for your benefit, and a self-honesty practice to ascend.

48:30- BIG ASS Q: Whose voice is that? Mine, or scarcity? WHO DO I WANNA ANSWER TO?!

54:00- From your home of self-trust, you bring wholeness into relationship instead of finding it there.

View from Jillian’s court: ghosting is a silly word that I will reluctantly use.

2:30: Ghosting isn’t new so let’s end the pity party and accept the gift of practicing choice.

5:00: WHY THO do people ghost?!

9:40: Making relational decisions that work in our favor: stop forcing other peoples’ timeline.

13:00: View from Jillian’s court: I’ve been ghosted y’all! I’ve also been a ghoster y’all! Self-responsibility is where the victory lies.

17:00: Clearing with your ghoster 101, clean anger vs aggression.

21:15: Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice. YOU DECIDE who lives in your brain.

24:00: We can never abandon ourselves, and this truth sets us free with closure.

26:40: BIG questions to ask yourself to get unstuck from an obsessive loop over your ghoster.

FIVE (OR MORE CAUSE JILLIAN CAN’T COUNT) WAYS TO PROPEL YOURSELF ACTIVELY FORWARD IN TRUTH AND ALIGNMENT AFTER A SPOOKY GHOSTING:

SENTENCE-FINISHERS FOR SELF-CLOSURE AND PRESENCE.

View from Jillian’s court: I execute relationships perfectly as the coach that I am, NOT! *Borat Voice*

2:00- Hello, my name is Consistency and I take precedence over constant communication.

4:45- Healing can be found in reclaiming your fun, as opposed fixating on trauma.

8:00- There's a community element to struggling in dating, but we don't have to buy in. Hello from the outside!

9:25- BIG TRUF: we look for evidence for what we want to believe.

10:20- Relational self-awareness helps us stay in reality and and stop letting our feelings choose for us.

14:15- That time when I thought my poop was in a group while single, only to have it sprayed all over the dating scene because I had not resolved all my inner stories.

15:00- Clean up your side of the street, so that your poop does not choose for you.

17:30- Self regulating is checking in with yourself on what meaning you may have have assigned to a lack of text from a hottie.

21:00- Poo hits the fan: what happens when you do not try a different behavior.

23:00- Learn to hold space for discomfort and let people come to you.

25:00- Don’t use attachment theory as an excuse to not change your shitty behavior.

30:00- What are you avoiding in yourself when you want attention just for attention’s sake?

View from Jillian’s court- crash courses in how to NOT have fun dating.

1:00: Let us reclaim the FUN we deserve to be having in dating.

4:00: Bad dating experiences aren't all preventable, but TRUST- a bad dating outlook is. How to keep a steady aligned state.

6:00- Set. A bigger. Dating goal. Than finding a relationship!

8:40: Self-abandonment in dating: unfun. Ways we do it, how to stop.

10:00: How to stop operating from a place of lack. Energetic shift hi!

14:30: Dude, you want commitment- taking a seat in your own truth.

16:30: 4 MEGAQUICK UNFUN BELIEF REFRAMES TO TAKE AND USE TO DATE HAPPIER THIS WEEK, LEZ GO

17:00: Dating is about finding the one🚫= dating is about getting rid of the wrong person quickly.

19:00: There are no good options because *insert excuse here*🚫= rejecting scarcity works in my favor.

22:00: I am always going to just screw this up🚫= I have my receipts to steer me successfully.

24:00: My past is going to repeat itself🚫= my past is not my proof.

27:00: Are you dating for an endgame of certainty? Try a shift.

29:00: Dating is about imagination, and you are a badass for embarking.

View from Jillian's court: the void I used to feel is now my buddy old pal

1:00- humans have trouble sitting in their own space. Why we gotta be like this?

4:00- the confusing addiction to needing people around you in order to feel whole

8:00- What we gained from 2020, the year we were not allowed to escape ourselves or our voids

9:00- if the void that you feel could speak, what would it say to you?

10:00- your void is not an obstacle; it’s you rejoining yourself

12:00- turning to the silence; presence with self is the key to your external world having order

14:30- view from my own court- how self-inquiry allowed me to reach a place of content solitude

16:00- the source of all the suffering in the world is your own unquestioned thoughts

20:00- who would you be without the thoughts that cause you suffering?

21:40- it’s never REALLY about scrolling social media, Netflix, or that text back that you’re waiting for- can you text yourself back?

23:00- when you are uncomfortable sitting in your own space, you are making it mean something. Change the meaning

View from guest Abigail's court: looking for answers to timelines and finding them through attachment work

Welcome fearless female Abigail Wilber- mindfulness and empowerment coach, children’s yoga instructor, attachment theory guru, and warrior of love! @abigail_themindfulnesspractice Abigailwilber.com/coaching http://insig.ht/abigailwilber

3:00- dating the wrong person, WHO CAN RELATE? Abby hits us with 3 big breakup lessons

7:00- 35 years old, newly single, new to dating apps- HALP

9:00- 36 years old, losing hope- what worked and what didn’t!

10:40- that moment when you turn it all around after waiting 17 hours for a text back

11:00- the “crazy-maker,” you know you’ve dated one

12:00- Attachment styles yas! “Avoidants need to get their shit together.”

12:40- anxious attachment = triggered by distance. Avoidant = triggered by closeness. What defines secure attachment?

15:00- identifying our attachment style gives us the power to stop making relationships so challenging for ourselves.

18:00- self-regulation is an art form

20:00- how to get your needs met as an anxiously attached homie

24:00- when anxiously attached “dumps” on a date: has this person earned the right to your story?

27:00- becoming open to love after walking the heartbreak path

29:00- how knowing your attachment patterns helps you walk away easily from deal-breaking red flags

31:00- avoiding over-investment after a great first date, let’s do it!

33:00- are the “spark” and “butterflies” just anxiety?

36:00- attention ALL attachment styles: know your needs and state your needs

40:00- mindfulness: what it is, how do we apply it during anxiety-inducing dating experiences?

45:00- Abby speaks to the women who think they missed the love boat at their age

50:00- are you as hopeless as you think? Or is there some information available to you?

52:00- tune in to the beliefs you have surrounding dating, with clarity comes action and it is NEVER too late.

54:00- what is fearless female Abby up to now?

View from guest Laura's court: your relationship issues with food are NOT due to lack of discipline

In our wholeness in connection with ourselves, body image and food awareness is an important relationship to examine. Welcome fearless female Laura Folkes, CHHC- A Truce with Food Starts Now! Instagram: Laurab.folkes Facebook: Laura B Folkes Website: laurabfolkes.com

1:00- 95% of diets don’t work. Why? Should we speak the dreaded word “diet” at all?

3:00- “anti diet” = anti diet culture, NOT anti eating healthy!

4:00- a world without diet culture? Imagine.

6:00- why do we self-sabotage our own damn diets?

9:00- emotional eaters R US

10:00- catching ourselves slippin- how the stories we create about our day lead to eating as a form of control

12:20- breaking the classic habit of coding food as good and bad

14:40- intuitive eating- what does that term really mean though?

17:20- feeling out of control is actually feeling out of choice.

18:20- honoring your hunger vs binge eating

21:00- give yourself grace after a binge by eliminating guilt and being ready to catch yourself early next time :)

22:00- are all calories created equal, or do I just wish that?

24:00- the REAL reason you're freaking out about your BMI is not what you think

27:00- ok but WHY do we think about food so much?!

29:00- big goals are scary! Let’s set some small ones/preventing future slip-up’s

32:00- How Laura would address the stuck version of herself

View from guest Laura's court: busting the myth of the "last ten pounds"

In our wholeness in connection with ourselves, body image and food awareness is an important relationship to examine. Welcome fearless female Laura Folkes, CHHC- A Truce with Food Starts Now! Instagram: Laurab.folkes Facebook: Laura B Folkes Website: laurabfolkes.com

1:00- Laura experiencing weight watcher’s at 13 years old (holy s) became her passion now for health coaching

3:10- helping people identify their “why” and “what” inside their patterns on a health journey

5:15- story of the “now what” moment of arriving at your ideal body

6:40- the emptiness that is found in the gym mirror selfie

7:30- wtf does balance really mean?

10:00- for whom are you setting health goals?

11:15- curing your case of the “I should I must I have to” disease

12:30- reframe: come from choice not accommodation

14:00- how to make your fitness goals ACTUALLY WORK for you

16:00- managing hard feelings that come up when you see an old picture of yourself in a smaller body

21:00- taking your power back, connect to yourself instead of comparing

23:00- how do we move toward change while loving our bodies just as they are?

25:00- how do we use a scale without having a meltdown?

27:00- shoutout to Laura’s 13 year old self in WW, knowing what she knows now

View from Jillian's court: being single can be the *gasp* best thing that ever happened to you- IF you are willing to turn that finger inward!

1:00- what is *sparkle fingers* the law of attraction?

7:00- the Little Mermaid had a banging body and sold us a lie

10:00- you were put here with a limitless mind

11:00- single. is. not. a. problem to be fixed.

14:00- you are hoping for success but expecting failure

17:00- you cannot trick ze universe

19:00- silence is who you are

23:00- becoming radically clear in your intent

26:00- if you want something real, declare it!

28:00- hold up that hard mirror while single, for a chance to turn it ALL around

30:00- if you're surrounded by assholes and clowns, what does that make you?

32:00- raise the price of admission into your life

34:00- when your dating app is broken because wtf it only shows you bad people?

35:00- other people are a mirror of your energy

37:00- your ego loves the rush of drama

40:00- why are you so afraid to be great on your own?

View from guest Lynzie's court: just cause it didn't go as expected, doesn't mean it's wrong!

Welcome fearless female Lynzie! @independentbeautypros

-2:40: Lynzie's crash course in reality hitting

-6:00: Performative social media posts vs reality

-12:00: Humans are capable of cheating if they can't say "help me"

-17:00: Coming back to yourself after leaving a marriage

-20:00: The delete- re-download- delete cycle of dating apps

-23:00: Putting on an “I’m fine” face while you’re hurting

-26:00: The “not enoughness” and too muchness” wounds

-32:00: Dating in the “messy middle” of divorce

-37:00: Finding someone who checks your boxes, “rejection is protection”

-47:00- Letting people show up for you after heartbreak

-53:00- Becoming prepared for the right relationship

-58:00- Managing your insecurities post relational trauma

-1:05- Maintaining independent qualities in a relationship

View from Jillian's court: the "me" mindset is NOT a selfish place!

2:00- The pitfalls of an undisciplined mind; can we flip a switch to think positively?!

3:30- Working on yourself...takes actual work :-/

6:00- What happens when your subconscious and conscious thoughts align?

10:00- Science funtime- learning your conscious/subconscious/non-conscious

17:00- You are not your thoughts! Reconceptualizing

20:00- Make your story work for you

22:00- Why can’t I have what others have?

25:00- Be brave enough to suck at something

29:00- Other peoples’ thoughts aren’t real

31:00- What if-interrupt yourself! 

36:00- Coming back to a “me” mindset; text yourself my lovelies

39:20- Moment of presence

View from guest Jordan's court: more is not always better

Welcome fearless female Jordan, the most fun-filled story telling girlfriend I got, starting me off right!

-2:00 pattern study: dating fixer uppers

-5:00: dealing with the dreaded “why are you single” questions

-9:00: growth is a squiggley-lined mess

-12:00: you do not have to understand something to begin to move on from it

-17:00: why do we keep repeating our dating mistakes?

-23:00: 30 dates in 30 days

-30:00: Online dating strategy and setting a dating goal that is not “relationship”

-34:00- don’t give off poo energy

-37:00: What does “success” in dating look like?

View from Jillian's court: this is a place where I explore what it means to get unstuck and finally grab the ball on the frontcourt of your life.

5:00- How you create the game of your life

11:00- What is a belief?

15:00- Walking the harder path

23:00- Quit the wrong team!

25:00- Pain is the gift of noticing

32:00- Self-love and going in scared