The Guidelines Podcast: The Sidelines of Life

Kids who lack problem-solving skills may avoid taking action when faced with a problem and is the reason why many kids fall behind in school or struggle to maintain friendships. Other kids spring into action without recognizing their choices.

Identify the problem - Help your child state the problem such as ‘You don't have anyone to play with after school, is that right? Let's problem-solve this together.’ By voicing this out loud, you can make a big difference for kids who feel stuck.

Develop at least 5 doable solutions - Brainstorm possible ways to solve the problem that don't necessarily have to be good ideas. Even a silly answer is a possible solution. The key is to help it see that with a little creativity, it can find many different potential solutions to a problem

Identify pros&cons of each solution - Help your child find potential positive and negative consequences for each potential solution it identified.

Pick a solution - Once your child has evaluated the possible positive and negative outcomes, encourage them to pick a solution.

Test it out - Tell them to try a solution and see what happens. If it doesn't work out, it can always try another solution from the list.

Confidence comes from feeling in control of yourself, having certain skills so you feel capable of doing things and your social interactions.

Parents, you must love yourself before you can teach your child to love/show up for itself. You can model this behaviour by rewarding and praising yourself when you do well or keep following your practises and that you are celebrating yourself and successes so the child can do the same.

When we are not assertive we can suffer from a loss of confidence and self- esteem as we aren’t getting what we need which is more likely to make us less successful in the future also. It is therefore important to break this cycle and learn to be more assertive.

Those with low self-esteem or self- confidence may invite others to treat them poorly. Being assertive can help us feel better about ourselves by setting clear boundaries as it means expressing ourselves clearly and standing up for what we believe in or like to do which in return makes others feel like they can trust us as we are open & reasonable by saying things as they are without offending other people’s views or feelings.

Using active listening demonstrates that you’re paying attention and that you care about what the other person says.

General Techniques:

1. Getting close to the child/person or friend when they speak.
2. Giving the person your full attention.
3. By allowing child/person to talk and not interrupting them.
4. By avoiding questions that break your child’s or person’s train of thought.
5. By focusing on what your child is saying instead of thinking what to say next.
6. By looking at your child or person so it knows it’s being heard and understood.

Ideas For Initiating Conversation

1. Practice to listen without preparing your response and keep an open-mind by not anticipating what might happen next.

2. Be aware of your body language by opening up your body posture to feel more comfortable and confident and turn your body towards the person to indicate friendliness. Smile and create eye contact. Move towards the other person to close the space and promote conversation.

3. Use Ice Breakers to initiate a conversation such as finding both your common points, similarities or shared interests.

Transparency and Self-Disclosure

1. Such as which class, instrument, hobbies or sports you take or do so the other person can get to know you

2. Memories or stories from when you where younger and what you experienced and then once you feel comfortable with peeps, you can share harder things like challenges or crunches as we feel closer to people who you can share not-so- great-things with

3. If you are willing to share some of your opinions even on a lightweight matter, helps people to get to know you and the more they know you, they tend to like you instead of ‘when they know me, they’ll see my flaws’

4. Needs, feelings or experiences that are more personal or important to you when sharing can create supportive friends and family members and can show if you match with certain people.

5. Sharing desires and wants from the past or for the future can make the other person or you feel let in

When we feel unhappy about oursel- ves, we typically have negative thoughts, beliefs or emotions working in us and feel like we just want to get rid of these fee- lings or thoughts by ignoring them or just running away from them.

Self-Respect and Compassion - Practicing self-compassion will help create a good relationship with yourself. Also treating your child respectfully & giving it the belief it matters builds a strong sense of self & helps your child avoid risky be- haviour & being less vulnerable to bullies.

Social Skills and Boundaries - Capacities for making and keeping friends, sorting out conflicts and working well in teams so you can develop a sense of belonging & make good connections with people you can trust & talk things out

Problem-Solving Strategies - Working with your child on solutions to problems or conflicts can help it feel powerful in dealing with difficult situations and get through challenging times same as talking through difficult emotions.

Positive Thinking or Self-Talk - Includes keeping things in perspective by being realistic, thinking rationally, looking on the bright side of things even if some situations seems less favorable, finding positives, expecting things to go well and moving forward and achieving goals.

Empathy or Respecting Others - Knowing that you are caring, friendly and respectful, accepting people for who they are, compassionate towards yourself & others, makes you feel good about your- self & will likely get positive responses in return.

Last episode I touched on how engaging our Quafectra, the Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual aspects of our lives are important to find a peace of mind and keep our cups filled.  This episode discusses how we can engage with certain practices that brings us closer to a greater understanding of keeping out self talk strong.

Coping with your senses - Practice using the 5 Sense Countdown technique during the week whenever difficult emotions or thoughts come up and write down how it helps you overcome the difficult moments.

Gratitude - The act of focussing on what we are thankful for helps us experience more positive emotions, sleep better, express more kindness to ourselves and others and even develop a stronger immune system.

Agreements - Establish promises in your family or with your friends that will help you share more about yourself as well as important experiences that you are going through to get positive solutions and feedback.

Mindfulness - It means not attaching to all your negative beliefs or emotions that you think or have to lessen your negative image you might have about yourself.

This podcast is for parents who want to empower themselves and support their young kids and teens as well as kids who want to understand themselves and succeed in communicating themselves to others.  Each of us has unexpressed feelings, needs and insecurities where we are craving for understanding but possibly do not get it, which results us thinking in a certain blueprint.

This podcast is designed to support you in changing negative perceptions while achieving healthier outcomes for yourself.  It will give you helpful strategies for your emotional and mental well-being, provide you with healthy communication and coping skills and tools to increase your self- esteem and confidence so you are able to navigate through challenges and problems in your life much easier, may it be in school or at home.

Here’s a brief explanation of how you can make the most out of your adventure learning:

1. Learn: You’ll learn a step-by-step framework of how to support yourself sufficiently.

2. Build: After taking in the information, integrate it with what you already know or how it relates to your life. This is how information sticks!

3. Share: Take action consistently and do your exercises and practices to move ahead. The key to transformation is through action.