theHURTCIRCUS
By Nicholas Ridiculous
theHURTCIRCUSMar 28, 2020
041. THC: DANCING IN THE DARK WITH A LADY NAMED GEORGE
Well, well, well... here are back at it again! Like the rapscallion we is you know, put off the editing of this episode for far too long. Sometimes it's just too fresh you know? In today's episode we go back in time a wee bit to the aftermath of an "entanglement" I found myself in. Albeit emotional, I am goin to work on processing it better and pulling out what I have learned from the experience more clearly for next time. But for now, it is an emotional purge of sorts. Although, a very necessary one. It always helps to get the bullshit out. Feelings of admiration and love are difficult, often confusing and even more-so intoxicating. When the lines of friendship begin to blur into something much more, how do you handle that? You try so hard to be good, but even in that you find yourself on the wrong side. The full story? Next time! Can we process and understand the loss, to gain from it? Is it just our nature to be like the parents we never had? Is that the karmic gift for never bending the knee? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
linktr.ee/nicholasridiculous
040. THC: LATE-TERM EVICTION
We back at it again! It is a funny thing, how we forget the value of our own voices. The importance of getting thoughts, feelings and situations out our heads. That is what this podcast was started for, an outlet to let out the bullshi*t that life seems to hurdle at us in a neverending test of self, our worth and who we aim to be. Today we travel back in time as I reflect upon on a recent transitional period in my life that came about as most change does, swift and unseen. An attempt to be a part, to be involved, but what does it cost? What is the give, and what is the take? When is the joy earned,and the happiness valid? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
039. THC: VERSATILE TEACHINGS
In todays episode we discuss some strides in the arena of the modern pop-culture wars and independent mythmaking, how we don't have to always relinquish the things we hold dear, but create our own when they are destroyed. We also discuss some recent online research I have done into the Shaolin teachings by master Shi Heng Yi. The importance of moving forward and allowing yourself to use the knowledge garnered by those who came before, but not becoming reliant on those teachings. Are we but another pawn in the cycle of the continued arisen? Am I playing too much Dragon's Dogma? How do you let go, when all you've known is holding on to whispers? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
038. THC: FAM INTERRUPTED
What is good ya'll? It's ya boyyy nicridic, aka Nicholas Ridiculous back with another one! The summer highateus is real this year. real life problems getting in the way of the creative expulsion I hope too endure. But alas, we are back with another episode lightly touching on some topics of pop-culture, project plans & hopes, the evolution of the "family tree" and how outcomes most often vary like the colors in a rainbow. How do we dissect the lessons from the lame? Is letting go an option? Must we fear the fall forever? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
037. THC. FADED T-SHIRTS
AAAAAANNDDDD we're back folks, one lost episode later. The ides of digital reliance, ides? Ides. But alas, here we are for our 37th episode! Not the best track record but we here bb. In this episode we discuss the values of the things we were forced to forget, the subtle realizations of reality and life. Those worthwhile hardships, && the bullshit ones too. How do we navigate life's loops, can we escape the repetition of our own stories? Can you skip the hook? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
036. THC: 31 & SPUN
Another one bites the dust; another episode, another year, like sand in the wind bb. Here we are, episode 36! And it just so happens the recording of this episode coincided with my birthday, April 22nd, so as usual we do a little birthday not-so-spectacular and just try and reminisce a bit on the past year as the new one approaches. We get into the inspiration for our titles, titles, titles and what inspired it. Along with our usual tangents on realizations and observations. Is hindsight a luxury earned in age? And the older we get, what is to be done with the baggage? Do we unpack it? Leave it all at the station? Or drag it along forever... Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
035. THC: Belated & Wasted
Here we are again folks! Better belated than not at all, as they say, but alas episode 35 is here. Today we sit down for a little coffee and pop-tart chat with our host Nicholas Ridiculous. We discuss the current state and transition of pop-culture, and the further decay that befalls beloved franchise all over. As always we get around to the serious life stuff, a discussion of the jaded boy, current climate of collective confusion coupled with personal desirs makes for a funny world. Same old nonsense bb. How do we keep the momentum forward without burning out? What comes first the blow-up or the burn-out? Is it worth the risk to find out? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
034. THC: TAMED ANIMALS
Aren't we though? Here we are again with a late as funk episode, my B folks! In todays episode, we get into the trials and tribulations of modern life in the transition from lockdown living, to the new world order or whatever it is these days (daze?)... the fun of navigating adulthood in these estranged times of hollow togetherness. We discuss how uncommon social common ground is these days after the years we spent in our own bubbles, and how easily divided it seems we all are. Especially when it comes to the basics... like our freedoms? But, for anyone who was forcefully raised within the child welfare industry, this type of authoritarian over reach is nothing new. Has the circus served as the prophecy of what is to come? Were we the trials, and the tribulations for the future? Have the lines between conspiracy and reality been so blurred? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
033. THC: a lame apocalypse
And another one! What's the happs m'cackle? In this episode of THC, we play a little catch up with the year. We get into the modern confusion that is; being human. Especially in terms of social aspects, and the current circumstances within out country at the moment. Divisive times spent on devices. Seems our time in captivity has only made us more feral to each other, especially in understanding each other. Amongst the chaos we try to grasp and understand the importance of family. Is normal a thing or an idea? A place to get back to, or strive to create? Or is it something we made-up purely to divide ourselves from others, in hopes of garnering a sense of security? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
032. THC: It's been fun, 2021
Happy New Year! Even though New Years is cancelled in Canada. :): Another one bites the dust, it is always a trip how they just go by faster and faster each go around. And in such weird times we find ourselves in, it's been fun to say the least... In this final episode of the year we get a little emotional. Life has been quite heavy, and this episode was recorded just before the most heaviest so the imbalance has been real. This being my personal therapy podcast, I let my feelings just run in this one. It is a lot of pent up and suppressed emotions bubbling up lately. The process of mourning and letting is an arduous one, and it hurts a lot. It's like even in trying to just touch upon the subject, the flood gates just open up... every... damn... time. Is growing up learning to live with our greatest pains because how do you really get over loss? Do you just learn to live with it? How do you fix the past, when you never really can go back? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
031. THC: SW33T&S0UR
Oh fall, the seasons continue to change and so do we. In today's episode I sit down with a fellow artist, friend and former crown-ward Caterina Sinclair. We sit back and chit-chat about some of our own experiences navigating life after the child welfare industry. While editing this episode, I really noticed how bitter and sour a lot of my own outlooks are compared to Caterina's. I found it to be something I should acknowledge and probably work on, hence the title. Be sure to check-out the links and the many avenues of content I got coming out. Join a couple blazed-out ex-foster kids as they discuss emotions and bullshit. How do we grow past what we know? While letting go of all our comforts? Could it all be worthwhile? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
030. THC: A Simulated Summer | 2021
Here we are, the end of the summer season 2021. What a blur that was huh? A season spent in a strange social limbo, content on a diet of mail order goods and direct to retina entertainment. And yet, the lowly creators crawling from the underbelly press onward! In today's late and distant episode we discuss the murkiness of personal balance and how the outside elements will forever persist. How do we gain strength from it, and ultimately set aside our childish bitterness and resentment to move forward? The golden-age of television is dead, let us mourn story-telling as it burns. Where does the power lie? How do we shift the tides? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
029. THC: Reclaiming the Narrative
Well, well, well, here we are again. Slow with them uploads, this is a late one. But alas, episode 29, welcome! In today's episode we get into some recent projects and outlooks in the world of lived experience experts. Reclaiming the Narrative is a new book project I am working on, we get into the importance of these kinds of independent projects that exist outside of the same system that inspire it. And the power that comes with reclaiming our stories beyond the fairytales of modern media. They controlled us for most of our lives, but they don't get to control our stories! Is it possible to connect the disconnected? Is our conditioning so engrained we only beckon when THEY call? Is all the experience and knowledge they take from us worth a measly $60.00 honorarium while they build their careers on our backs?! Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
FeedSpot Article: https://blog.feedspot.com/child_welfare_podcasts/
028. THC: Oh... Canada...
In today's episode we get into some of the usual topics, play a little catch-up with the world and life. We contemplate some of the modern confusion in the world and how we celebrate a land that is so bathed in blood the flag is covered in red. The recent findings of residential schools and how these systems don't so easily disappear. They more often evolve, like predators do, they learn to blend. Also a brief discussion about the evolution of story-telling in modern entertainment, the swinging of the pendulum. We also go over a shout-out we got from a publication site called FeedSpot! In their Top 15 Child Welfare Podcasts article! What an honour, just to be seen in any context. We give many thanks for the recognition, and it feels great to see so many other people speaking out in the same ways. Can our voices together be loud enough to enact true change? Are these systems only listening with deaf ears and fake smile to protect their not-so-little industry? And with it their livelihood? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
FeedSpot Article: https://blog.feedspot.com/child_welfare_podcasts/
027. THC: Truant 514
Hello, hello and welcome back to theHURTCIRCUS. In our very late episode, we discuss the celebration of 5/14, Youth in Care Day here in Canada. Passions run high as they do with these things, discussing the overall disconnect of a community of disconnected people. With some Joseph Campbell wisdom drops thrown into the mix to keep yas thinking. Is our inability to come together as veterans of these systems a symptom of their design? Isolated and separated so long, we only began to isolate and separate ourselves? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
026. THC: Contact High III
Here we are at episode 26! Lockdown here in Ontario has been long, for anyone who ever wondered what it would be like to live the movie Groundhog Day, we made it bb. In today's episode we get into how people who lack personal power enforce their will upon others, and how that power can be used and abused. All in relation to events in my personal life that are cementing age old beliefs in a broken system. This being a Contact high episode, we briefly discuss the effects of over consumption. How that chase and race to make yourself feel good can cause ripples in your ability to feel joy and pleasure later in life, co-opted by a mental stigma of not deserving it anyways. We end off the episode on a series of clips from an acid trip circa the summer of '17. How do we come to terms and reconnect with ourselves? Can we deny ourselves the reality of who we are in hopeS to appease those we despise most? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
025. THC: i hate it here, but i love u
What is up my fellow kackolites! Here we are back again, discussing how life tends to force us to face the things we try and run from. Some recent situations where I had to deal with the same agency that disrupted my life so much, and how the faces change, the people change, but the practices within these systems... who they really are just does not seem to change. That leads into discussions of how we evolve the ability to help people, and better the systems who are in place and hold so much power. If even possible. This episode was a moment to reflect on a few days that really took a lot. And left me wondering is a job still a job, when it is somebody else's life? Who, how, and what decides at what point a mere affection towards good intention isn't enough to encapsulate the understanding necessary to truly help the people they claim to... Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
024. THC: Biennial BB
Happy Biennial episode ya'll! 2 years in the big tent, the road thus far may have been dreary, weird and inconsistent. But alas, tis the life folks. In today's low energy broadcast we take a little time to dissect the current view of things, look back on our journey so far here at theHURTCIRCUS. We question the role of those who live through the things we are trying to fix, and how do we redistribute power in the current landscape of transitional youth and affordable housing. Passions ignite as we bulldog the current state of pop-culture and the continuing disenfranchisement of the franchises we love under the thumb of a mouse in red shorts. I reflect on my time taking care of my nephew and the understanding that comes with, of taking on such responsibility and how it can affect us on an internal level, for better, or worse. Topped off with a minor feature from my favorite person in the world; my nephew! To close-out our Biennial 24th episode! And as always, enjoy them drops BB! Can we crack the glass ceiling? Change the designs they thought were set in stone? Is the pollution of the stories we adore a natural state of affairs? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
023. THC: Dismal+
In an attempt to make a self imposed deadline to hit 24 episodes by our two year anniversary this March, we will be double dropping this month! Some tid-bit eps to touch base and get back into the groove of the circus! Today we discuss more on work-life, what it means to push beyond the safety of our comforts and become the change we hope to see in the world. We also take some time to discuss the other half of modern life in 2021, video content. Whether it be streaming shows, movies or youtube, but mostly the new found trajectory of Star Wars, but more-so Marvel under their new regime. The empire of entertainment, Disney. (Yeah, like the bad empire from Star Wars, lol) Are the roots of these systems, from social service to entertainment, so deep-rooted that the world must continually bend to their whims and follow suit? Will money forever mean power, and power rule over all? Are we powerless to change the things we never could before? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
022. THC: Hard Tardy '21
The circus has arrived! With a fashionably late entrance into 2021. Today we get into the false finish line we all seemed to see, some current work I am doing and the struggles of coming to grips with this new found professionalism in such a disconnected world. As usual, the energy picks up once we get into the imaginary shit. In all honesty, this episode was recorded back in January so, we get into some talks of the new Disney+ series WandaVision. A lot of theories and aspects of that talk have been proven fact or false by now. Some repeat drops sprinkled in to remind y'all how far we have come. Bada-Bing, Bada-Boom. How do you take back something you never felt you had, all to empower others to do the same? Can we change what seems to be the design of modern society? Will our obsession with comfort forever be our catered downfall? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
021. THC: Holidazed & Confused
At last, here we are... episode 21... the end of 2020. THE END IS NIGH. But, will that matter? We are still fluctuating in and out of a state of mental and physical lockdown. We all probably thought we would be done by now, but no. This time around we get into some topics of social service evolution, and how sometimes something that begins as a response to an issue, often times, ends up becoming that same issue. These cycles we create, our beautiful yet tragic designs. We discuss some upcoming projects like the recently released, available anytime now on streaming services; Everything is Fine... the latest album from dimebagcrew! Can we ever change the systems in place, who promise more than is given? Is the social service system nothing more than another industry who creates the underclass of society? Are we their inevitable product line? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
020. THC: Welcome 2 the Island of Dipshit Boys
Ohh, the times they are a changin', huh? Join our host as we discuss the current social climate in a world of worlds, how our new found shared experience is being received. The challenges of stepping up to meet new responsibilities while navigating this new disconnected existence. After feeling powerless for so long, how do we become empowered without allowing that power to corrupt? Can we breakdown the walls we once thought protected us, and build something new? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
019. THC: Arvin
Well, well, well... here we are again. Can you rely on good intentions to change something you have no experience with? In this episode our host discusses relationships, personal and professional. The bartering of energies, time and experience. How the commodification of purpose has become a bit of a modern industry, and how systems work harder to break people rather than fix people. Seems as though there is more money to be made from the former, and that is what matters. Can we work to change that? Is it too late to reclaim our worth? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
018. THC: 2000LATE
Oh summer, where have you gone? How time has flown by these past few months. After much procrastination, we finally got our 18th episode done and edited. Our host discusses some, kind of, recent issues and how they correlate to ongoing systemic, and generational follies that have existed under the radar for a long while. Also some self reflection time with some smokeBREAK drops from the archive dissecting the past. How do we face our own realities, overcome them, to then help others trying to overcome those same issues? Can we choose to stop running, or must we wait until we are tuckered out and breathless before we finally slow down? Above all, can we control our chaos, or only be consumed by it? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
017. THC: HEReditary
Welcome, welcome, welcome one and all, to episode 17 of... theHURTCIRCUS! This time around the big tent, our host gets into some recent familial turmoil. How sometimes, you have to push through some hardship and discomfort to get to a better place, to open new lanes of communication. A bit of an emotional ride this time around, but that's the circus sometimes babehh! But as always, we try and balance those lows with the highs with a special unboxing of an adored relic, which we scoured many hours online to find. We will have pictures of it posted on the main man's Instagram. That Vader classic, keep them peepers peeled! Can you make the ultimate sacrifice to correct a trajectory you were born into? Is it possible to heal what was, and what hasn't been yet, reciprocally? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
016. THC: Contact High II
What is the happs m'kackle? Welcome to our second installment of the Contact High series. It is a historical time these days we are living in, it is difficult to know how to create content and what to create that content around. We decided to continue with our scheduled episode but we still touch on current events a bit, it is hard not to. Everyone has to share their feelings so hopefully we can start moving forward. I sat down with my guest Ty Rant, and we discussed the struggle of addiction and the hardships we create for ourselves while in the throws. We talk some recovery and what it means to live as opposed to survive when relying on a high to keep you going. Some innocent stories of youthful trips, and how shame can become our greatest burden. We hope all ya'll staying safe out there, be ready, act when necessary, and listen when necessary. Hopefully we all come out this as people, may the change we all wish for grow from the chaos. Can we ever truly change anything without compromising what we are changing it for? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
015. THC: bird on the run
Coming to you folks from our bunker, sequestered and secluded, divided and conquered, most of us sit and wait. Wait for what my dear boy? Something. Unsure and inoculated by comfort, the quarantine times are upon us. But it doesn't stop everything! I sat down with an old friend and we discussed growing up, growing apart, and how fear of change can lead to self destructive comforts. We speak about our hardships, mistakes and patterns of hereditary degeneracy and the cycles we try to change. They force you to leave somewhere you will spend the rest of your life trying to get back to. Only to realize that all that's left is a husk of what once was. Are the broken only meant to be abandoned? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
014. THC: Like tears in the rain
Wild times, one part impending panic, one part utter boredom. We joked about cancelling this year, until it went and cancelled it's damned self. In our 14th episode, we touch on the current state of the world a little bit, the give and take of the universe, alongside some projects I am currently working on amongst the quarantine downtime. If your a hungry artist, keep an ear open for my t.i.t. mag announcement in this episode! I use some time in the second half to discuss some real life examples of worst case scenarios of tragic downfalls in the child welfare industry. Opposite contexts, same kinds of negligence, and same tragic outcomes. Will the promises of the moment ever meet with the outcomes promised, does then ever matter to now? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
013. THC: Drop Dead Fred
Lucky number 13, babeh! Here we are back again for another fresh episode. Today I get into a news story that caught my attention recently, a tragic example of the worst outcomes that can come with a life from the child welfare industry. I also get into the concept of the "imaginary mindset", how a life of reacting and constant sidelining can lead to a lack in self belief. In today's smokeBREAK, I discuss my time transitioning out of the foster care system, and the life I had built for myself after my first big independent move. A most toxic trial, to say the least. Can we overcome the prophecies foretold, or in doing so do we only ensure their most certain fruition? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
012. THC: piss & vinegar
Ha-Za! Six months later, and we finally reach the end of January 2020! Yes, yes folks, we made it. And what a wild one it has been, the world is in a funny time. Like many, my head has been all over the damn place. I use this episode to take note of some personal barriers I have been battling with most recently; an attempt to clear some lingering rubble from the past that has a way of affecting the present, an attempt to pull one's self out of a hole they forgot they were digging, an attempt to understand all that stands over us. With a smokeBREAK thought drop on the tail end about companionship, cowabungaa m'kakkle! How do we deter the internal sinking of the self when the world is in such a drag? Is reclamation a possibility post expiration? Is it all just a game of give and take, gave and took? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
011. THC: Wishbones & Giblets
That solo deuce, we made it folks! Episode 11, the last episode of 2019 and the first episode of 2020! Happy New Year! It's the bits n' pieces, odds n' ends episode. Leftovers from the end of 2019 I had yet to put into episodes, and some fresh drops as usual, babehh! I get into some thoughts on the importance of childhood relations, estrangement, siblings, family, all that fun stuff we love here in the big tent. I share a recent project I worked on, which leads to thoughts on what it is to achieve and how success is handled, or not handled. Also some thoughts on the idea of "going home", what was isn't, so was it even? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
010. THC: Double Dragon
Dem double digiesss! Hello folks, and welcome to the 10th installment of this manic ass show. We finally managed to dig up a conversation with my modern gentleman of a brother, Anthony Spezzano. Our paths may have started around the same point, but oh how they diverged. Estranged by a system who never seemed to think twice, conjoined by the struggle that came from it. He is such a smart person, I try my best to keep up. We discuss everything from relationships and society, to our past and its affects on our behaviors and habits. Enjoy this not so recent conversation between two brothers trying to be. How do you build over all the bullshit? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
009. THC: bad bones, babeh
Episode 9 has finally arrived. After a bit of a hiatus, we are back. Coordination and conscious energy consumption is key people! It is a process though, even still. In this episode we discuss a small speech I gave at an event for supporting youths transitioning out of care and other marginalized groups. I lay out my outlooks on how these resources of help and assistance could be better presented, in ways that benefit all parties involved; lead by example, perpetuate organic and positive growth while embracing and accepting the negative. Especially in times when the negative can seem so much easier. I also share a recent twist in my personal life, that classic leg sweep, oh life.... but yes! How can those with the power to help enact true change not realize the resources right in front of them? Is the true change even what they aim for? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
008. THC: the sh!t luck ballad of lily dawn
In our octuple episode, we discuss some work I have been doing in regards to helping youth transition out of systemic lives into the freedom of young adult life. As well as the issues of experiential knowledge versus theoretical, and placement of power of personal desires as opposed to power to produce true change. We finally got to the sit down with my grandmother Lily Dawn, and get a good look at how sometimes, these cycles, are in our DNA. The breaking of stability, and how the generational inheritance echoes forward in time. Passions run high, misty eyed from the reflection. How do those claiming missions of help and betterment not look back and see the patterns? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
007. THC: silly boy
In this episode, my intentions were to discuss generational inheritance and how past actions can echo through our lives right down to our DNA. My intentions were to play a sit down I did with my grandmother for the second half of the episode. But, once again, ol' Nicholas Ridiculous got caught up in his emotions and spun-out on a rant about lack of accountability in a sinking system. Why is the child made to feel so culpable during such arduous transitions? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
006. THC: Contact High I
In our sextuple episode, it is our first contact high episode. I share some of my first experiences with drug exploration, and what feelings lead me there. When your only constant has ever been you, how do you take a break from that? Stepping-out here, and stepping-in there. When does the coping become the crutch? Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
005. THC: Shame, Less
In our 5th episode, nicridic hits it hard with a talk of shame, and how we seem to gain it and carry it on the road through the system. Pig metaphors and wishes never granted. Passions run high and emotions show a little on the the topic of hereditary shame and affliction passed on through misfit parentage, enhanced by the child welfare system's stern heel and unflinching bitch-face. Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
004. THC: April's Fool
Oh April, I always find it to be such a reflective month. A time of many endings and beginnings and just an overall sense of what has come and past. I dive into the difficulties of self celebration when it comes to things like birthdays, and how that may sometimes affect development of self-worth. Especially coming from the world of foster homes and false families. A world where a sense of hollowness tends to solidify, and social camouflage develops. How is a child supposed to know, what they do not know? Can maternal knowledge be passed, without maternity? Is it the generational lessons we never had, that we need? Let's talk about it. Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
003. THC: Cycles & Broken Smiles
In our third episode, I spend some time discussing podcasts I enjoy; This Past Weekend, Dopey, and Broken Harts. I also talk about how cycles tend to repeat themselves, and how being a witness to somebody experiencing the same trials that you had can mess with your head a little bit. How do you help somebody with something you never figured out yourself? Is just being there enough? Or does time just fade and change things so much, they just get too far away for it to ever be made right. Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
002. THC: Jaded Thursdays, Thursdays, Thursdays
In our second episode, I parse through my own past a bit more. Share some ideas on the split that occurs in life, the Mogli Effect, and existing in the aftercare limbo. Just some guy trying to figure out the pieces, and put 'em together. Share some stories of early life with a young mother trying to find love, and the wildly spontaneous ride that followed. Also I do a poor reading of a turning points essay from a decade ago, some statements from a past self. And briefly where that self ended up compared to where he thought he was going. Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
001. THC: boxes of soap
Bare with me over these first episodes, as I attempt to rummage through my own history within the child welfare system, and find my podcast legs. I will be attempting to draw conclusions and make connections between past experiences and current behaviors, share some stories from days long passed, and my overall outlook on my experiences in foster homes and how now, growing up, I am trying to manage the aftermath. Welcome to theHURTCIRCUS.
Thanks for tuning in!
Much love and respect!
N.
Theme Song by Lonbroh
Editing by Nicholas Ridiculous
thehurtcircus@gmail.com
000. THC: Hello
Just a little trailer letting everybody know what we are about over here at theHURTCIRCUS.
thehurtcircus@gmail.com