How To Trust People Again When You've Been Burnt

Soon after the breakup I went through this period of blaming others... but soon after that, I was left understanding that I needed to change something about myself but not knowing:  A) WHAT or  B) HOW There is no guide map and structure for pulling yourself out of that place so how can you begin to rebuild yourself and not only that, REALLY start living with the FIRE in your belly again.

As men we can get so focussed on the end goal that we forget to appreciate the present OR when life events happen and that end goal is taking away from us it can leave us feeling like failures. We continue along in life just idling through without a purpose and wonder why we don't feel good anymore.  In this podcast I go through how STORIES that you have about yourself or the world are shaping how you feel (without you even knowing it) and how you can start to change them so you can lift that weight off your shoulders.  Listen in for practical exercises that you can do to find happiness again.

Life's easy when you're blaming others. Life's A LOT harder when you're putting your own actions under the microscope - and for good reason.  The problems that are showing up in your life today are a reflection of the man that you have been up until this point. Period. If you want change, start owning them. In today's podcast I go through why this is the case and how it practically applies to your life. Listen till the end to find an exercise that you can do to shift your perspective on the problems you have at the moment as well.

So often us men feel like we have to bare the brunt of all the pain, problems and obstacles in not only our own lives but also the lives of our children, partners, friends and family. Well, I'm here to tell you, you don't have to go in it alone.  Your family wants to go on a JOURNEY with you. So open that option up to them. LIFE IS PAIN, so show them how to deal with it best by DOING it yourself. Listen in to find out how you can apply this inside of your own life. 

In today's episode I talk about 'man blaming' off the back of some videos I've posted recently. There are some comments in there about BLAMING men and not women...am I a man basher? Listen in to find out my thoughts on this issue. 

Today I riff on TRUST after a troll called me out on Facebook. It got me thinking....Is trust different for people at different ages? What does this mean for you as a father and a partner? How can you trust again after someone burns you? Listen in to find out.

As some of you may have noticed.. Man Up With Millar is no longer! In this podcast I go into why I changed the name and what it means for you as a single father being the king of your kingdom! I cover: - How to look at change in your life so it happens smoothly. - Why 'manning up' is BS

So, after going to my regular salsa dance night and realising that I was definitely not where I wanted to be...I realised that I had to accept that I was shit before I could move on.... See, I was judging the shit out of myself for where I was and not appreciating that I was learning something new! So in this podcast I'm literally at home after I've been dancing, having a red, and getting real, raw and honest about the whole experience AND how it relates to where you're at right now as a single dad.

Let's face it. Going through a breakup with the mother of your kids can leave you feeling lost and uncertain....in more ways than one. Will I see my kids again? Why did this happen? Who the FUCK am I? If there's one thing for sure it's that this breakup has given you an opportunity. The door is open for you to grow and learn from this.. but are you ready......Really? Listen in.

Today I talk about the difficulties that arise when separating and deep down still wanting that other person in your life. Is this because you 'love' them or because you 'need' them? When the mother of your kids breaks up with you, many men will struggle to let go of her because of some kind of ownership or possession they believe they still have... but this is not love. Listen in to find out how you can make this distinction for yourself.

In this podcast I talk about a recent experience I had with saying bye to my son after drop off. It cut me deep and re-opened a wound from the initial stages of the breakup when I had to drop off the kids and felt like I was a failure and doing the wrong thing by my kids. I talk about: - How there is always going to be pain in life - How you can get through the pain quicker - How you can pull out the lessons and principles in life that will give you happiness and fulfilment for longer.

Most men struggle with self-awareness. In fact, most people struggle with it. Today I talk about the importance of finding YOURSELF and how you can do that through the breakup itself. We need to move away from being mindless working robots and move into a place of reflection and being at peace with our emotions... how do we do that though? In this podcast I cover: - The warning signs that I saw which told me I wasn't happy - What most men do to lose themselves whilst in a relationship - The identity shift you need to make to find yourself again.

In this podcast I interview Robert Kandell, author of the book Unhidden and host of the Tuff Love Podcast. Rob works with men and women on improving communication in their relationships by helping them with tools and techniques but most importantly looking at themselves first. Here we talk about: - Robert's coparenting situation and the learnings he's had as a result - How to deal with narcissists! - How you can start improving your communication today

A man's purpose is the most important thing in his life. Men who lack purpose will lack direction, motivation and drive. They will wonder why they are here and feel like working DOGS who are living their life for the needs of others. In today's podcast I talk about how you should go about tapping into this important part of your life.

Sean Whalen is a single-dad doing big things. Author of 'How To Make Sh*t Happen', Creator of Lions Not Sheep and The Revolution Podcast, Sean knows a thing or two about being through tough shit after a breakup with the mother of your kids. In this podcast we cover: - How Sean went from wanting his ex DEAD to now having a great co-parenting relationship - His rise from being suicidal and the lessons he took away from those moments - The shift in mindset you must make if you want to live an empowered life again

As men, from an early age we get taught how to WORK, PROVIDE, GRIND and seek out SEX. We are not taught how to be still, reflect, dig deep into ourselves and go on the journey within. Work, hustle, grind, sex, sleep, repeat. Today I talk about how to BALANCE your masculine and feminine. We all have both within us, but if left untapped and not practiced we sell ourselves short. If you struggle to connect to the HERE and NOW or struggle to connect to your emotions (other than anger) then this is for you. Tune in!

Jeff Scult is the founder of One Golden Thread - A 'Tree-Shirt' company that is centred around connection and reminding us of our inherent golden nature. After going through some big life events Jeff changed his tune on life, choosing to let go of the trauma and pivot towards a new direction. In this podcast we cover: - Jeff's experience with breaking up with a long term partner who had a child and how he was able to rebuild - The shift you need to make to GIVE more love in a sustainable way - How you can shift focus away from the past and future and into the NOW - How to get past your grudges, trauma and roadblocks in your life Listen to the end for a special gift for all listeners... Check out www.onegoldenthread.com

Without a set of 'rules' to being a man or at least guidelines, its hard to know exactly what to do in times of stress or struggle. In this podcast I go through the '4 Agreements' for any man to live his life by. But simply listening to these is not enough... you must embody them. It takes consistency and constant self-examination. If you can truly take these on board your life will improve - I guarantee it.

A massive fear that I personally had after the breakup was questioning if I was ever going to be able to be in another relationship again that was supportive and accommodated to the fact that I had kids. I was worried that I would meet my 'one and only' and then she might turn around and say 'nah sorry you've got kids'... In this podcast I talk about how to shift your mindset away from this and into empowerment where YOU are the prize... Listen in...

In this podcast I talk about whether or not you SHOULD get back with the mother of your kids... it can be a certain decision for some men, for others it can be unsure and scary because of the implications it can have on the kids. I talk about a few fundamental concepts to take into account when doing this.

Sometimes we can think that the battles are all outside of us... The mother of our kids... Parents... The court system.. But the reality is that behind closed doors when we're all alone, the biggest battle of all is within ourselves! WE are our own worst enemy with the things we think, say or do to ourselves. Tune in to find out how to get through this.

I know how it can feel when you've been through the breakup and that possibly you have failed everyone that you really cared about. Well, in this podcast I get clear on when you have and when you haven't failed...

Many people think that getting into a relationship is easier than being single. The reality is, especially for men, that it becomes harder. More things to organise, better communication and being attentive to multiple facets of another person. Money, Intimacy, friendship, children, leading... Shit is hard to manage. Listen into this podcast about how to manage all these hats

Today I talk about two secrets to having a 60 year long marriage from none other than my own Granny and Grandad! I asked them what was the key to having a long marriage while I was overseas visiting them in Scotland. Their answers were great!

I'm sure that you, as I did, got caught up in endless spirals of negative thoughts, worries and concerns.... What if there is another man around my kids? This is just my luck? I don't deserve to be happy... And when it comes to breaking through these spiralling dark thoughts, there is one strategy that you must use, which most don't...This, without a doubt got me through dark times after the breakup and also most recently while I was overseas.

One of the biggest issues women have when it comes to men is that they don't know what we want. A friend of mine who coaches single ladies recently did a poll and that was the number one response. Check out this episode to understand why this is the case and how you can smash through this with a rock solid identity as a man.

One of the most common issues I see (and also have) is that us men struggle to ask for help. Instead, bottle things up, go into avoidance of the issue or self-destructive behaviour. So, why don't we? and when is the right time to ask for it? In this podcast I go through what you need to know to stop this from happening.

Why is it that some people take years to actually heal the traumas of life events? There is something most people misunderstand about healing, which is that its an ACTIVE process...time is not enough. There is one thing that most people miss when trying to move on with life which is what I cover in this podcast. If you are struggling with moving on and find that constant little reminders of the hurt you once had keep raising their head...then listen in!

The battles that we fight as single dads can sometimes seem insurmountable and never ending. Battles with trying to get more visitation with the kids, having financial battles with the mother of your kids, battles in the court room or battles within our own heads. When is it time to give this up... Is there ever a good time? In this podcast I cover: - The key distinction you need to make in being able to surrender and when to not - The battle you are going to lose EVERY time if you don't listen - How you can make life a lot easier for yourself by surrendering every time

Everything in your life is a DIRECT reflection of that person that you are at this very moment. Your job, your friends, your relationships... everything.. This might be a bit hard to hear, but its true. So if this is the case you must ask yourself, WHO do I have to become in order to have the life that I want? In this podcast I cover: - How to shift your perspective to take on the power in your life - The reasons why YOU must be the one to change FIRST

How do you get motivated when the things you want in your life seem so far away? How can you bridge the gap when A) the target seems so far away and B) you have to deal with a constant barrage of things from your ex, work and life. I cover: - The #1 misconception people have when it comes to 'getting motivated' - The strategy I get all of my clients to go through when struggling to get motivated

It's time to stop walking away from emotional flare ups because 'there's just no point'. Think about what repeatedly withdrawing from disagreements communicates to women.. In this podcast I cover: - A strategy that you can use to deal with emotional flare ups when they happen - The message that you're communicating when you won't engage in conversation - The legacy that you're leaving behind as a result of being this kind of man

In this episode I get DEEP. Deep into why men are the most disempowered they have ever been and why I believe it has gotten to this point. You will discover: - How to pull yourself out of this and into empowerment - How to live a more authentic life so you can be a better father.

Seek first to understand and then to be understood. And when I'm talking about understanding your ex I don't just mean listening to the words that she's saying....In this podcast I cover: - A powerful technique that I take all of my clients through when improving this area - Where your currently falling down when trying to communicate

The illusive and evil EGO! How is this showing up for you at the moment? If there's one thing for sure its that if you are ruled by your ego communication with the mother of your kids will be difficult and you will feel entitled and expectant of things in your life.. The ego is there to protect us but we are not our EGOs! In this podcast I cover: - Some warning signs to look out for when your ego comes out - How your ego is suffocating your own growth - The importance of letting the old you DIE in order to grow

In today's podcast I get into the difference between fear based decisions and making decisions that are PROACTIVELY in alignment with your purpose or the life that you actually want to live. I cover: - How you're currently living life on everyone else's terms and it will leave you disempowered and scared - How you can shift your perspective on failure to empower yourself to take risky action - How you can use your purpose and drive to improve your relationship with yourself and mother of your kids

How do you stay open with your emotions without getting smacked down from your partner or ex-partner saying its too much? Where is that line between too much and 'just enough' emotion? In todays podcast I cover: - The framework you need to making sure this doesn't happen - What women are really saying when they say 'be more open to me' - How you've gone about it in the past was 'too little, too late'

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner would tell you: 'Its too much', 'Your over the top', 'I feel like you want me more than I want you'?? One thing that women HATE is neediness.. but why does this happen to men? Why do we get stuck in that trap of constantly chasing our OWN partner? Listen in!

What is the difference between guilt and shame? If there's one thing for sure, its that one of these will thrust you into action while the other will keep you stuck in no man's land FOREVER. I cover: - An actionable task that will make the shift for you - A great resource that will help you on the journey - What is happening when negative things keep showing up in your life

Here is a MASSIVE problem that most fathers will go through. Letting go of the things that happened or the lifestyle that you once had. In this podcast I cover: - What the real underlying issue is when you're struggling with this - A few ways that you can shift your mindset in order to smash through it - Practical steps towards setting your mind free of the negative self talk

If you've ever been guilty of getting stuck in the victimhood of going through the breakup, I can understand. The thing is that being here forever will leave you sad, lonely and depressed. You are in control of your own actions! In this podcast I cover: - How you're giving your power away constantly and don't even know - How to regain your power NOW - How you're pushing people away from you, which is making it worse

If you're sick of going around and around in circles and never getting anywhere when it comes to your communication and being able to compromise with your ex then listen up! In this podcast I cover: - The biggest trap that men get sucked into when they try to raise issues - How you can break through the unnecessary noise and get to constructive comms - Two different strategies for bringing the conversation back to where you want it

Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that because you have spent a long time in a relationship with her that you deserve a certain level of treatment. Now, although I do agree that this would be great in an ideal world, the reality is quite different. In this podcast I cover: - The unfortunate reality of resentful breakups - How having this mindset is suffocating your ability to move on - The single most important factor in getting through this

If you are a father who wants to get back with your ex, here are a few of the fundamental things that need to happen. In this podcast I cover: - The mindset that is going to give you the best chance of it happening - Where most people go wrong when getting back together too soon - How to do it to ensure a smooth transition for you, your partner and the kids

In this podcast I interview Juvan Langford who is an international speaker and mens motivational speaker. He has worked on things like the MENtour and the Elevation Effect helping thousands of men around the world on being able to remove the masks that we hold. We talk about: - How to spend more quality time WITH yourself and be able to deal with not seeing your kids as much - How to use the solitude you may be experiencing as a beneficial tool for growth - How to remove the masks that you may be holding - How masculinity has gone astray in todays world and how you can change that NOW Check him out on Facebook, Instagram and Youtube @juvanlangford.

No matter how much you try, the words that she says still get under your skin. Why do they constantly affect you in a negative way? Do you still love her? Do you still care about what she thinks? In this podcast I cover: - The reality of why this is happening to you and how you can change it - How to break the cycle of constantly seeking the approval - Where most fathers go wrong

This is one of the biggest problems single dads face and is definitely the source of enormous pain and suffering. In this episode I cover: - One reasoning behind why she is being difficult - How you can improve the relationship to see them more - Where most men go wrong when trying to tackle this issue

So often I hear people giving advice like.. "You'll be alright" or "Just give it a couple months and hang in there".. But then I also speak to fathers years after they've broken up who still haven't dealt with the past. In this podcast I cover: - The things you need to do to actually work through the issues and pain you have - Where most people go wrong when it comes to their wounds

One of the hardest things to hear when you want to get back with the mother of your children is: "I don't ever want to get back with you again". That light which was potentially there gets shut down like a candle being blown out. In this podcast I cover: - What she really means when she says this - The steps you need to take in order to turn this around - The real reason she said it

Are you a man who says YES to people even when you know you shouldn't? I cover: - How shutting down your personal power is impacting your identity - The repercussions this is having on your body - How to open up so that you can find yourself again

Half the battle in getting yourself through this is the belief that you can. How do you do that when everything seems so shaky and out of control? In todays episode I cover: - How to retrain yourself past the negative beliefs - Why its important to set yourself up for success - How this can lead to you hating yourself in the future if its not fixed now

Communicating with your ex can be one of the hardest things to do when emotions are running high. In this podcast I go through: - How to rebuild the foundation so that you can improve communication - The mindset you need to have when it comes to emotional disputes - How to control your emotions when tempers flare

Today I cover the four main categories areas that I have encountered with my work when it comes to your ex not letting you, or making it difficult for you to see the kids. You will hear: - Breakdown of the "Four S's" and reasons why - How you can start bridging this gap to start seeing your kids more

Today I talk about punishing yourself for things you either A) Have done or B) Haven't done in the present or past. I cover: - The common ways punishing yourself can manifest - The impacts this is having on your well being and relationship with kids - The #1 most important factor when it comes to breaking the pattern

In todays episode I talk about how to deal with feeling lost, alone and not knowing the way forward. If you feel like you don't even know yourself anymore then listen in. I cover: - How to shift your mindset so that you ramp up confidence - How to ensure that these feelings don't repeat themselves with future challenges - How to regain your identity

The very first episode of the Man Up With Millar Experience! Here I talk about: - How to get out of victimhood and into empowerment - The three levels of mindset that you MUST know - The reality of the breakup - How to move into taking powerful action