The Relationship Recovery Podcast

With the holidays coming, there's almost a shift in the air. Things can start to feel heavy when you know that those holidays mean you are dealing with someone that has narcissistic tendencies. If you're feeling that way, this episode is for you. Kierstyn and Tiffany share some great examples of narcissists from some of our holiday movies to start off this episode, then we'll talk about what a narcissist is, tools you can use to to protect your energy, how to not feed into a narcissist and more.

LISTENER FAVORITE MOMENTS
️️️7:35-8:13-explaining why the holidays are so difficult with a narcissistic person

️️️️10:39-11:42-one example of how a covert narcissist differs from a grandiose one…talks badly about themselves for attention. Pay attention to your energy/how you feel around them

️️15:04-16:06-don’t poke the bear…remove yourself from them and take a minute to do what you need. They don’t have the maturity to be rational.

️17:56-18:24-they don’t have emotional maturity, they will react as such. Don’t feed into it.

️️️️️21:34-23:20-realistic aspect that you might still have the person in your life…maybe not ready/not able to cut them completely out. Don’t be too hard on yourself…lots of things at play.

Do you have questions about your relationship? Is it toxic? What are red flags in dating? What is love bombing?

Well, you aren't alone!

In this special episode, we answered our listener questions, and odds are, at least one of your questions was answered by Kierstyn and Tiffany as they coached people navigating relationship turmoil live.

Want your question answered? Don't worry! We will be doing this periodically, so make sure you are following us on Instagram to have your questions answered in the future:
www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery 

Listener Favorite Moments:

 2:19-3:30 Q&A About partner says he’s doing work, but she’s not seeing changes…change takes time, ask him questions, look into other modalities for support. 

10:40-13:17 Q&A About feeling guilty for moving out…emotionally abusive = manipulated/groomed to feel guilt for that, set boundaries, get support, internal work. 

14:16-17:18 Q&A Dating Red Flags: Intuition, trusting yourself, dating again, and thinking everything is a red flag 13:30-18:00 Q&A about red flags and if NPD is a personality disorder…love bombing, notice how they treat others, lots of ups and downs, jealousy. Don’t need a diagnosis of NPD for it to feel off. 

23:50-25:24-Q&A about having the strength to go no contact…explanation of trauma bond (physical and chemical) Episode Resources: We just announced that we are now accepting applications to our new mentorship program, Accelerate. 

Accelerate is a 3-month mentorship for women who want to curate more peace, happiness, and confidence to accelerate their healing in community. Over three months, we will be doing intentional work to help you reconnect with your body, mind, and soul. If you are craving connection and want to level up your healing, then 'Accelerate' is perfect for you! 

Here is a snapshot of Accelerate: 

We are calling in 10 people to take this journey with us. We feel strongly that this group needs to be full of people who have positive energy, are willing to support each other, and are committed to doing the work to accelerate their healing journey. 

The Accelerate mentorship consists of: 

5 Group healing sessions 2 individual healing sessions
Messaging support group
Care package
Accelerate starts August 9th, 2022

When you join Accelerate, you will experience:
Community Deep connections
Meditation Journeys
Tools to add to your toolbox
A new support system
New friendships
An accelerated pathway to healing During our time together, we will do a deep dive into the following topics: Learning to trust yourself to make decisions again Learning to trust others Fining peace again Caretaking other's emotions over your own Feeling like you failed and how to shift the mindset Shame Dealing with a difficult ex Parental alienation Co-parenting Dating after divorce Finding yourself again Coping better with loss and loneliness The Accelerate mentorship is packed full of so much goodness and will help you reconnect to the YOU that was lost through the turmoil you have experienced. In Accelerate, our goal is to work with you to achieve the things you can truly control… ourselves, our responses, our actions, our boundaries, and our healing. 

If this is calling to your soul, click below to fill out the application: 

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/accelerate 

Applications will close August 7, 2022. 

More Resources: www.therelationshiprecovery.com Follow us: Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

No Matter Where You Are On Your Journey,

It’s Helpful To Know When The Risks Of Divorce Are Highest

When you look at the data on divorce and see the years of a marriage when divorces are likely to take place, a fascinating picture comes into focus.

First of all, we take data with a grain of salt.  Every marriage is different.  Random events pop up.  

Love, commitment and understanding aren’t events written on a calendar like a dentist appointment.

They are the foundations of a relationship and the shakier they are, the higher the risk of divorce.

Divorce risk according to the length of time you’re married ebbs and flows.  There are safe years and hard years.

There are times when the hope things will get better is stronger than the feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment.

What stands out is how tough the early years are.  The adjustments that are so essential to a marriage can be impossible for some people to make.  

No wonder so many marriages crash and burn so quickly. 

10% of marriages fail in the first two years.

It’s heartbreaking.  It’s also a vivid reminder of how important it is to apply the lessons of a first failed marriage to make a second marriage a success.

If you marry later in life, does this mean you’ve got a better chance of making it through these first two years?  We’ll take a look at this in our podcast. 

Let’s spend a few minutes together to see how the risks of divorce rise and fall over the course of a marriage.  Even if this doesn’t directly apply to your situation, knowing about these risks gives you helpful insights.

Here's some listener favorite moments:

1:18-3:12 Bonus Tip - We all continue to grow and evolve.

8:21-9:21- The first year of marriage is a high risk for divorce…easy to just part ways. Things aren’t too complicated, finding out more about the person, self-sabotage.

12:55-17:35- Kierstyn shares personal experience with her marriage in the 5-8 year range. Personal growth as individuals, rubber-band and effect, 7 year itch etc...

18:38-19:58- Marriage in 30's is up, and divorcing in 50’s which is pretty common. Greater risk of cheating in 50’s according to statistics 

21:55-23:15-“50% of marriages end in divorce” caveat. Focus on individual marriage instead of relying solely on data

You might want to check out one of our most requested relationship tools.

“Should I Stay Or Should I Go” is a 4-week intensive.

It helps you put your relationship in perspective so you can make good decisions about the future.

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

Even If You Don’t Believe You Can Feel Secure In A Relationship Today,

This Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Prepare For Tomorrow

One of the fascinating things about attachment styles is our ability to move from one style into another.

We aren’t stuck and we aren’t doomed.

Intentional behavior, the right practices and tools can move us from where we are to where we’d like to be.

And the attachment style where most of us would like to be is The Secure Attachment Style.

Membership is not exclusive.

Feelings of security, self-confidence and clarity can be restored if they’ve been lost. They can also be nurtured if they’ve never been present.

Changes can be made. Things can get better.

We understand that moving out of an abusive or toxic relationship might seem impossible.

It’s not. This is because we have tools that let us move from one attachment style to another.

But let’s confront the realities. Let’s not underestimate the challenges that come with stepping out of an attachment style that’s Anxious-Preoccupied, Dismissive-Avoidant or Fearful-Avoidant.

Building the self-esteem that’s needed for this takes courage.

After all, we’re dealing with a lifetime of behaviors. Attachment styles are formed early in life. The process actually begins in infancy through nonverbal and emotional interactions.

The right practices and tools can help. So can patience and time.

The Secure Attachment Style doesn’t come with a lifetime guarantee.

We need to be intentional to stick with this style because events can send us reeling.

Toxic relationships and trauma are just two of the culprits.

Intentional behavior is the key to keeping your Secure Attachment Style.

So, what are these tools and best practices to use so we can move forward?

Let’s spend a few minutes together to find out and see what to do.

In this special podcast, you’ll discover…

What it takes to have a secure attachment style.

The best tools to help you regulate your emotions.

The role of self-esteem and self-compassion.

How a divorce is most likely to impact your kids.

So, get comfortable, find a quiet place and join us for this podcast.

No matter how discouraged or hurt you might feel, please keep in mind that things can get better. There are steps you can take to put the pain behind.

Here’s some of what you’ll discover in this special podcast…

[o3:49] When and how the influences of an attachment style begin.

[o5:00] Why being intentional helps so much when it comes to keeping you in a secure attachment style.

[06:30] Which emotional triggers are most likely to jolt you out of one attachment style into another.

[09:14] A technique to help you avoid the messiest problems of co-parenting or parallel parenting.

[11:42] Why it’s never too late to show your kids what it’s like to be truly secure.

[12:37] Why securely attached adults tend to believe that romantic love will always endure.

[14:52] The key behaviors of The Secure Attachment Style.

Episode Resources:  https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep117

High conflict relationships come in all shapes and sizes. Many of them involve a divorce, either a divorce that’s underway or one that you’ve recently gone through.

The tactics and tools we’re sharing with you to use during a divorce can be used in any high-conflict relationship.

Divorcing somebody with a personality disorder is one of the toughest things you’ll ever go through.

It can spin out of control in a heartbeat. You can easily stagger from something that’s difficult into something that’s a full-blown disaster.

But there are common-sense steps you can take to soften the blows.

These steps give you a proven strategy. You can quickly turn your weakness into strength, your fear into courage and your uncertainty into confidence.

No matter how cruelly you are being treated, this strategy will change things for the better.

We’ve seen these changes for the better take place again and again with our coaching clients. You can use this strategy right away to make your own situation easier to deal with.

Let’s look at how you can successfully navigate through a high-conflict divorce.

In this podcast you’ll discover…

• Why you need a strategy when you divorce somebody with a personality disorder.
• How to soften the blows of all the emotional terrorism you’re subjected to.
• How to be intentional and why this is so helpful.
• What to do when there are kids.

Why not carve out a few minutes to join us for this important podcast? Please make yourself comfortable, find a peaceful spot and get this valuable information.

Here’s some of our Listeners Favorite Moments:

8:10-13:22-Characteristics of fearful avoidant, where it comes from, tendency to end up in abusive relationships.

13:05-14:30-tend to end up in abusive relationships due to repeating pattern from childhood…you do what you know, unless you seek help.

17:35-18:45- Feels like tug of war…anxious and then pushes them away. The appearance of little respect for partner. The connection between BPD and fearful-avoidant.

23:08-23:55-Healing the traumatic pieces around childhood to help move to a more secure attachment style.

24:53-25:33-If you’re the more secure partner with a fearful-avoidant, be aware of not jumping in to rescue/care take, or self abandon.

Episode Tools & Resources:

Fearful/Avoidant Check List: 

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep116

Anxious/Preoccupied Checklist Tool:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep115

4 Attachment Style PDF:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep113

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources:

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

What To Do About The Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style?

You’re at a big advantage when you know about the 4 different attachment styles.

You can navigate relationships with more clarity, you can move to a more secure place and you can turn negative behaviors into positive ones.

Naturally, this doesn’t happen overnight.

But with some intentional work you can make progress more quickly than you might think.  This is one of the benefits of knowing about these styles.

What do we see with people with The Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style?

Many feel underappreciated.

Something else that’s easily noticed is how things in life that should seem normal, and in fact are normal, don’t appear normal at all.

People in this attachment style often seem to stir up jealousy.

They worry a lot.  There are negative reactions – when there’s no need for these reactions to take place.

Little things that don’t matter much blow up.  They cause all sorts of pointless drama and hurtful tension.

One of the reasons for this is low self-esteem.  But there are other forces at play which we’ll share with you on this podcast.

Let’s spend a few minutes together to see what The Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style is all about.

In this podcast, you’ll discover…  

Why roughly 1 in 5 people fall into this style.

Why some people worry so much about abandonment.

Why perfectionism and insecurity so often go hand in hand.

How to move beyond the clinginess that can derail a relationship. 

So, relax, find a comfortable spot and join us on this podcast.

Here’s some of what you’ll discover…

The connections between feeling loved and wanting to be a perfectionist.

What to do when you feel you're on an emotional roller coaster that never stops.

Why it’s so common to constantly feel insecure about where you stand in the relationship.

The strange similarities between a relationship and a car accident.

Why being in a relationship with someone who’s highly secure doesn’t mean this security will automatically rub off on you. 

How to break the habit of always questioning your self-worth.

What to do about your thirst for reassurance.

Episode Tools & Resources:

Anxious/Preoccupied Checklist Tool:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep115

4 Attachment Style PDF:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep113

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

Episode References: 

More Resources:

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Discover The Characteristics Of The Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style

Attachment styles mean so much.

So, we’re giving you an in-depth look at each of the 4 different styles. This week the focus is on the Dismissive-Avoidant Style.

What’s in it for you? How can knowing these different styles help?

You’ll be much better at opening – and closing – relationship doors when you know your own attachment style.

The result is a more secure attachment style. One you’ll find authentic and supportive.

In this podcast, the second in our special series, you’ll discover some of the Dismissive-Avoidant Style’s most common indicators.

One of them is a trait we normally consider something good.

Independence.

But like most things in life, independence can be taken to an extreme.

Too much independence leads to emotional distances. It creates identities that never seem to mesh into close relationships.

But this overdose of independence is just the tip of the emotional iceberg.

Let’s take an in-depth look at the other characteristics of the Dismissive-Avoidant Style.

In this podcast, you’ll discover…

• What specific problems the Dismissive-Avoidant Style can easily ignite.
• Why negative feelings are ignored and how this usually makes things even worse.
• The curious reason why limits are placed on commitment.
• The most helpful things to do if you feel this is your attachment style.

So relax, find a peaceful spot and spend some time with us on this podcast.

Episode Tools & Resources:

Dismissive-Avoidant Checklist Tool:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep114

4 Attachment Style PDF:

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/podcastep113

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources:

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Which One Of These Attachment Styles Is Yours?

Here’s Why These 4 Attachment Styles Are So Helpful To Know

Have you ever thought about how you relate to other people?

Have you considered the ways you either trust or hold back trust, and how ingrained patterns of behavior set the tone for your relationships?

If so, one of the big pieces of how this takes place is your attachment style.

We all have one. Attachment styles begin to form when we are very young. The way they develop shape our security, our ability to deal with stress, how we set boundaries and more.

There are four basic attachment styles.

Secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful.

The benefit of knowing which attachment style you resonate with the most is the reward of self-knowledge.

This self-knowledge can help you avoid hurtful relationships and make your existing ones even better.

To get started, so you can discover more about the styles, please join us for this special podcast.

If you’ve ever wondered why you want to be close to someone but push them away because you’re afraid of getting hurt…

If you’ve ever been hesitant to open up and share your emotions…

And if you’ve ever wondered what might be holding you back from enjoying the kind of relationship you know is possible…

Let’s spend a few minutes together. Let’s look at these attachment styles so you can better understand some of the things happening in your life.

In this special podcast, you’ll discover:

• Which one of the four attachment styles you most closely relate to.
• Why it can sometimes be so difficult to trust somebody.
• The different ways insecurity can poison a relationship.
• Why it can be so easy to misinterpret your partner’s behaviors.

So, get comfortable, find a quiet place to relax and spend some time with us on this podcast.

There’s a gift for you when you join us. You’ll get a tool that reviews the different attachment styles so you can self-assess for a better understanding.

And in the weeks ahead, we’ll take a closer look at each style so you can learn even more.

Our Listeners Favorite Moments:

2:15-3:11- Attachment template can evolve and change based on experiences and may differ between relationships️

️️️8:15-9:21- Wonderful parents, perfectionism played a role and carried into marriage️️️

️️15:47-17:35-No shame on you or your parents for insecure style…insecure attachment styles does not = bad parents/caregivers️️

Episode Tools & Resources:

4 Attachment Style Download:

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/26

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources:

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

High conflict relationships come in all shapes and sizes.  Many of them involve a divorce, either a divorce that’s underway or one that you’ve recently gone through.

The tactics and tools we’re sharing with you to use during a divorce can be used in any high-conflict relationship.

Divorcing somebody with a personality disorder is one of the toughest things you’ll ever go through.  

It can spin out of control in a heartbeat.  You can easily stagger from something complex into something that’s a full-blown disaster.

But there are common-sense steps you can take to soften the blows.

These steps give you a proven strategy.  You can quickly turn your weakness into strength, fear into courage, and uncertainty into confidence.

No matter how cruelly you are being treated, this strategy will change things for the better.

We’ve seen these changes for the better occur again and again with our coaching clients.  You can use this strategy right away to make your situation easier to deal with.

Let’s look at how you can successfully navigate a high-conflict divorce.

In this podcast, you’ll discover…

Why do you need a strategy when you divorce somebody with a personality disorder.

How to soften the blows of all the emotional terrorism you’re subjected to.

How to be intentional and why this is so helpful.

What to do when there are kids.

Why not carve out a few minutes to join us for this critical podcast?  Please make yourself comfortable, find a peaceful spot and get this valuable information.

Episode Tools & Resources:

Boundaries PDF Download 

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/24

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

How To Leave Limbo Behind And Stop Being Stuck 

It feels so bad being stuck, when we’re in limbo and lack the confidence to take even a small step to move forward.

We’ve been through this.  When we look back, one thing we can’t forget is how terrible this felt.  It’s as if the bad choices we once made kept haunting us and even paralyzing us. 

It also seemed as if bad choices from long ago kept us from even trying to make good choices.

We get it.  The feelings of being stuck run deep.

People who have not suffered the pain and trauma of an abusive relationship might underestimate the difficulties and frustrations of being stuck.  Lots of times they make the mistake of believing that being in limbo can go away with “just a little willpower.” 

Well, life doesn’t work that way.

Getting unstuck takes intentional work and this work begins with awareness.

This awareness helps you see for yourself what the best small steps to take to move forward will be.  

These small steps will help you replenish your self-confidence.  You’ll discover for yourself, on your own terms, that doing something to set yourself free from a bad relationship is a lot better than doing nothing.

But here’s the thing that can make this process tricky.

We decide to be stuck.  We do this to protect ourselves from the unknown.

We understand how scary it can feel to get unstuck so we’re sharing a technique you can start to use to break the cycle. 

It’s based on the mind-body connections.  We’ll show you what to do to get started.

Let’s spend a few minutes together to see how to begin to set yourself free from the terrible trap of being in limbo.

In this special podcast, you’ll discover…  

What happens when the body sends an early warning signal to the brain.

Why looking for “little moments” can help break the cycle of feeling stuck.

The power of distractions to get yourself unstuck.

Why it’s so easy to overcomplicate the process of getting out of limbo. 

So, get comfortable, find a quiet spot and spend some time with us on this podcast.

Here’s some of what you’ll find out about…

3:00- You can see the light but you just can’t get to it. Overwhelm and stress set in.

3:35- The Fear

5:18- Physiological breakdown of what is going on in the body when triggered 

9:15 - Start being aware before that overwhelm narrative takes over.

10:42-Body awareness ➡️ 90 seconds to distract ourselves (ground feet, exercise, art) before overwhelm takes over.

13:22- Don’t overcomplicate things…take baby steps in the place where you feel stuck.

Episode Tools & Resources:

10 Books List 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

This pain drains away from our energy.  We can’t bounce back from an abusive or toxic relationship simply by breaking up. 

It feels strange because we’ve just taken a big step.  We’ve decided to get out of a relationship, taking action.

But we start the healing process in a tough spot.  

Because it feels like our energy has evaporated, we cannot do much of anything.  Many of us have a difficult time thinking clearly and making good decisions. 

You don’t need to feel stuck.  

You can do simple things to speed up the healing process… without watering it down or making it superficial.

Like many things in life, taking the first step is the hardest part of the process.  Fortunately, this first step doesn’t have to be complicated.  

This first step usually works best when it’s stripped down and simple.

This first step is something we’ve seen work countless times.  We did it, and it worked so well that we still do it.

It’s something you may have heard of—a morning routine.  

Unfortunately, many people never get into one because they don’t think it can do much good.

But we’d like to show you how to get into a morning routine that’s more helpful than you might imagine… a brief, simple morning routine that refuels you after a breakup.  

Let’s spend a few minutes together to see why you should consider a morning routine, how it has helped us and how it can help you.

In this special podcast, you’ll discover…  

Why do you lose so much physical and mental energy following a breakup? 

What to do about getting this energy back.

How to shorten the amount of time the healing process takes. 

Why do so many people benefit from a simple morning routine? 

So, get comfortable, find a quiet spot and spend a few minutes with us on this podcast.

Here’s some of what you’ll discover…

[01:20] Why it seems so hard to get yourself into a productive healing mindset following a breakup.

[03:19] Why do so many of us want to reach out to our ex after a breakup, and why does this rarely work out.

[03:48] Why healing after a breakup is like training for a marathon.

[09:19] Why emotional pain can grow even after you make a move to get out of a bad relationship.

[11:19] What to do the first thing every morning to add strength and meaning to the healing process.

[12:09] The simple and powerful thing most people miss when they express feelings of gratitude.

[15:53] Why a simple “moment of intention” in the morning can give your mind more clarity and your body more energy.

Episode Tools & Resources:

Free Morning Routine PDF

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/20

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Unless you’re a professional, you can’t clinically diagnose a narcissistic personality disorder.

It’s confusing and complex.

But there’s nothing confusing or ambiguous about the pain somebody with a narcissistic personality disorder, or someone with narcissistic traits for that matter, can cause.  They are masters of cruel manipulation.

If you suspect you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, the bad news is that without a clinically valid evaluation, your suspicions can never be confirmed.

The good news… you don’t have to be left in the dark.

When you know the traits of somebody with a narcissistic personality disorder, you can see the situation you’re in more clearly. 

Of course, not every abuser is a narcissist and not every narcissist is an abuser.  And please keep in mind we’re not psychiatrists.  We’re certified life+health coaches.

So right now, we’d like to empower you with the knowledge that will let you understand the classic behaviors of the abuser who has a narcissistic personality disorder or someone that has narcissistic traits.

A toxic collection of misguided beliefs is what distinguishes the narcissist.

These beliefs, which can appear bizarre, are on fairly regular display.

Once you know the traits, you’ll be able to recognize them without much trouble. 

Let’s dive into a few of these traits.  We’ll take a look at how they can feed the abuse cycle and what you can do about it. 

In this podcast, you’ll discover…  

What makes narcissism so confusing.

Why a sense of self-entitlement can be so toxic.

Why do narcissists like to accuse other people of being too sensitive.

What scares the narcissist more than anything else. 

So set aside some quiet time, find a comfortable place to relax, and please join us for what we hope will be an enlightening podcast.

Here are some of our listener's favorite moments:

[o2:40] What a narcissist really is… and isn’t.

[o5:05] Why it’s so rare for a narcissist to get a professional clinical diagnosis. 

[07:40] How to recognize the line that divides healthy self-respect and unhealthy narcissism. 

[10:50] Why narcissists are constantly on the prowl looking for admiration and praise.

[19:52] The strange way that narcissists look at jealousy. 

[22:14] Why narcissists don’t understand empathy and are unable to genuinely demonstrate it.

[24:55] What makes narcissists masters of exploitation and manipulation. 

Episode Tools & Resources:

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 Week Intensive

www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Here’s how to start making sound decisions about the future of your relationship. 

In this special podcast, you’ll discover…  

-The 4 steps to take to know if you should stay or if you should go.

-Why it’s vital to know your boundaries and safeguard them.

-Why keeping a journal can be so helpful. 

-How to get back the power you’ve lost to make decisions. 

-So set aside a few minutes, find a quiet place and spend some time with us on this podcast.

Here’s some of what you’ll discover…

[o6:24] How to come up with a plan for how you will leave a relationship.

[07:22] Why paying attention to your intuition is always a smart move. 

[08:25] The best way to keep a journal and why this is such a powerful tool in the healing process.

[10:27] Why boundaries are so important and how they tend to shift in an abusive relationship.

[18:17] How to use your non-negotiables to size up the quality of a relationship.

[21:24] How codependency really works and can easily spiral out of control. 

Episode Tools & Resources:

Should I Stay or Should I Go 4 week Clarity Intensive: 

https://www.therelationshiprecovery.com/stayorgo

Good Things Utah 

https://www.abc4.com/gtu/tough-decisions-in-relationships

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

We all do it.  We sabotage ourselves in all kinds of different ways and for all kinds of different reasons.

Including when we are dealing with a toxic partner or ex-partner. 

Will this ever stop?  Are there practices we can follow to make self-sabotage less of a habit?

Yes.

It might seem like an unreasonable goal to expect we can make every last bit of self-sabotage disappear (because we actually don't want to - we will talk about it more), but we can definitely learn how to overcome. 

In this episode, we will show you how to get started.

Like so many other steps we take on our healing journey, the first step is awareness, an understanding of what self-sabotage really is.

It’s essential to know how this disrupts your relationship, your life and your healing.

The challenge is to stop piling on shame.

To help, we’re sharing a collection of insights and tools you can use to push back against self-sabotage.  

Episode Tools & Resources:

10 Books Everyone Should Read After a Toxic Relationship

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could size up relationships and evaluate them before we discover we’ve made a terrible mistake?

None of us have crystal balls. But all of us can fine-tune our intuition and awareness so we see the red flags instead of ignoring them.

This week’s podcast gives you ways to notice these red flags, put them in context and decide what actions to take.

Kierstyn and Tiffany share red flags they've experienced, and what the community is navigating as a whole.  

Join us so you can take action now when you see flags vs paying later. 

Episode Tools & Resources:

The Red Flag Checklist: 

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/12

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

One of the most common questions we get around gaslighting is, does someone know they are gaslighting? This is a great debate.

In the traditional sense, gaslighting is not about love. It’s about power and control.  A Gaslighter is someone who needs to feel superior and who manipulates people to further their own agendas - when it's intentional. 

When gaslighting, the person finds a way to make the victim think they are “crazy” They gradually make you question your reality.

In this episode, Kierstyn and Tiffany discuss:

• What is Gaslighting?
• How do you feel when you are being gaslighted and recognize it.
• What to do if you are being gaslighted.
• and is Gaslighting Intentional, or can it be Unintentional? You decide.

Join us for the great debate around Gaslighting and how to navigate it.

Episode Tools & Resources:

What to Do If You Are Being Gaslighted PDF:

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/10

More Resources:

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

“How do you know if you are being Love-Bombed?” is one of the most common dating questions we receive.  

Love bombing is a common tactic used by a narcissistic abuser. They shower you with gifts, words, affection until they feel like they have you hooked. Once you are hooked, they change their tone and become highly critical of you until they discard you altogether. 

Being on the receiving end of love bombing can be seductive and overwhelming.  It can happen in any relationship, not just romantic.  So it's crucial for everyone to learn the signs to avoid getting stuck in the web. 

In this week's episode, we will be breaking down what love bombing is, what the signs are, what the narcissistic abuse cycle is, and what part love bombing comes in, and answering all our listeners' questions about love bombing. You won't want to miss this one! 

Episode Tools & Resources:

The Love Bombing Checklist: 

https://therelationshiprecovery.activehosted.com/f/8

More Resources: 

www.therelationshiprecovery.com

Follow us: 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/therelationshiprecovery

TikTok:  https://www.tiktok.com/@therelationshiprecovery

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0xaCdQ_S2o5tQ_ZeqeymDQ

Welcome to the Relationship Recovery Podcast! We’re so happy you’re here.

If you are navigating complicated relationships right now, you are in the right place. In this episode, we will be talking about who The Relationship Recovery is, how it all started, and who we serve.

We will also answer the most popular question we get… “If you could give one piece of advice to someone that is just starting their journey, whether it’s trying to navigate staying in the relationship, leaving a relationship, or finding yourself again, what would you say?”

A note from Tiffany & Kierstyn:

Please don’t forget that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what your circumstances are. You might not see it now, or you might think your light has gone out forever, but we know it’s there for you.