The Second Generation
By Seher Shafiq
The perspective I offer is that of a South Asian (Canadian-Pakistani) millennial living and working in Toronto, Canada.
Twitter: @TheSecondGen_TO
Instagram: @TheSecondGen_TO
Facebook: facebook.com/thesecondgeneration
The Second GenerationJun 05, 2019
Romana Kassam on art, music and storytelling in the time of COVID-19
While Romana made art her whole entire life, she didn’t make art her career until relatively recently. Romana shares that in her experience, arts and creativity weren’t always encouraged in South Asian households. Even as kids, art was something you did after you finished your math homework. So, she never thought of art as anything outside of a hobby for the longest time, until recently.
Romana’s journey to a career as a storyteller and artist was not a linear one. After completing an English degree in university, Romana first worked in the corporate world for almost a decade. Before doing art full time, Romana initially started a side gig called “My Mehndi Story” where she would do mehndi/henna in a way that would tell story of a couple’s love, for example, through adding song lyrics or city skylines into bridal mehndi. It took a while until she felt ready to delve into an arts career full-time.
Now, Romana identifies as a storyteller and does work throughout various mediums. What story is Romana trying to tell? She wants to “speak the truth about her people and her culture”.
In this episode, we talk about Romana’s journey into the arts, and how COVID-19 has impacted her and other artist’s work.
Make sure to check out Romana’s BEAUTIFUL new single, Holding Space. You can also follow Romana on Instagram @romanakassam.
Paul Nazareth on family expectations, the gift of failure, and mentorship
In this episode, Paul and I talk about the day-to-day realities of COVID lockdown, and how quarantine has been impacting all of us. We talk a bit about Paul’s work in philanthropy, and how Paul got to where he is now in his career. Paul is currently the Vice President of the Canadian Association of Gift Planners, and sits on several charity boards and advisory groups.
Paul grew up in an immigrant household and like many, felt the pressure to have a high paying career. In this episode, Paul shares how the best thing that happened to his life and career was receiving the “gift of failure” in his early 20s, after which he discovered his values, and purpose, and ultimately built an incredibly successful a career as one of Canada’s top fundraisers. As someone who mentors daily (seriously!), Paul also shares insightful career advice for young people navigating their careers. We discuss the importance of purpose over passion, connecting over networking, the career secret of curiosity, and practical tips on seeking mentorship, including the “DNA of a coffee chat”.
The Lost Heer: Documenting the lost women of colonial Punjab
Wow the world has changed a LOT since my last episode which was a few months ago. Its changed even in the past few days.
Moving forward, I’m going to pivot to focus on stories that we don’t see on the news. There are so many stories to capture during this historic time, and I hope this podcast will be a place to document them. I’ll feature stories of what quarantine looks like for different families and households. I’ll also be looking to talk about how communities are coming together to address the crisis we are in, and of course hoping to do so from an angle that is not usually represented in media, which TBH is pretty dreadful these days
Today’s episode, I admit is not focused on COVID response, but is someone who is doing incredibly fascinating work. His name is Harleen Singh and he runs an Instagram page that documents life in pre-partition India, with a focus on women.
I discovered it a year ago and was blown away. As someone who was born and brought up in Canada, I learned very little about Indian history, colonialism, and partition until literally a few years ago. Most of the knowledge I have of South Asian history has been from my parents or a few books or articles I’ve read that talk about this topic. When I saw his page, I was blown away. In our discussion, Harleen and I talk about how he has archived the history and lives of people in the pre-partition era. We also talk about the fact that his research focuses on Punjabi women, and how their lives were not documented since history is often written by men.
The photo on the episode cover is a colourized photograph of a woman peeking from the window in her house in Lahore. Taken in the 1870s by JL Kipling, it is one of the earliest domestic photographs of a woman in Punjab.
Check out Harleen's page on Instagram @thesingingsingh
1987 in Edmonton, Alberta – Where My Mother’s Canadian Immigration Story Began
During this time, a white Albertan mother (Corrine) and daughter (Kathy) housed my mother for two years, without paying a penny or expecting anything in return. This year, I went back to Edmonton for work, and decided to stay with Corrine, who is now in her mid-late 80s. Corrine still lives in the house my mom lived in as a student, and almost everything is exactly the same still – from the stove, to the fridge, to pieces of décor that my mother gifted her 30 years ago.
In this episode, I ask my mom questions about her immigration journey. I also had a chance to record a conversation with Corrine, and ask her why she welcomed international students to her home for free. Corrine explains that given international students went through so much, hosting them in her home was “just the right thing to do”.
The Muslim Tinder...MINDER! (Plus Other Online Dating Tales)
Adil, India and Ancestors
This episode is an interview with my friend Adil Dhalla, who decided to visit India for the first time in his mid-30s, to learn more about his ancestry.
200 years ago, Adil’s ancestors left India (Gujrat), and went to Tanzania. About 50 years ago, they immigrated to Canada. Adil grew up here in Toronto, when asked where he’s from, Adil would always either say Canadian or Tanzanian. He never identified as Indian, despite a lineage of Indian ancestors.
After 6 years of working at the Centre for Social Innovation, including as the Executive Director, Adil took a huge leap and decided to “retire” from that work. He left his job and asked himself what he wanted to do.
The answer was: go to India. Adil bought a one way ticket and left for India in January 2019.
Our conversation touches on many aspects of Adil’s trip to India: yoga, meditation retreats and letting go of “fear based” existence, flirting with cows (seriously!), reconsidering eating meat, and witnessing a professional hugger who has hugged 30 million people (Adil says it was akin to watching Beyonce on stage). We also talk about the ongoing legacy of colonization that Adil witnessed in day-to-day life in India.
I loved hearing how Adil’s experiences in India transported him into a completely new mindset and perspective that we aren’t used to in Western culture. Adil closes by talking about how he’s already working to integrate the lessons he’s learned into his life, in both tangible ways like yoga and food, and the intangible things like building capacity for love.
Ritu Bhasin, award-winning life coach, speaker and authenticity advocate
In this episode, I sit down with Ritu Bhasin, a renowned diversity, inclusion and empowerment speaker, author, consultant, coach, strategist. Ritu and I talk about what drives her to do the work she does.
We start off the conversation about how the 1960s and 1970s saw a new wave of immigration to Canada, and how Ritu’s upbringing in Toronto and Unionville was shaped by the race-based bullying she experienced. Ritu shares stories of social isolation and feeling like an outsider growing up in Unionville, and how the intersection of race and class identity impacted her social acceptance as a young brown woman (ex. shopping at Biway when the other kids rocked Roots and Benetton). These experiences had a tremendous impact on Ritu and inform the work she does now in disrupting forms of supremacy. Ritu also explains the neuroscience of how trauma is kept in the body and can be passed down inter-generationally. We close the discussion by talking about the importance of listening to your body and using mind-body methods of healing.
If you haven’t heard of Ritu yet, check out her book, The Authenticity Principle. I personally found it to be a very useful roadmap to identify situations where I am not being my most “real” self, and how I can bring my true self forward. You can follow Ritu on Instagram, or check out her website that’s filled with free tools like blogs, videos, and free self-reflection worksheets to help you live your best!
How Samra Zafar, author of "A Good Wife", escaped her abusive marriage
In this special hour-long interview, Samra and I talk about how she left her abusive marriage, and discuss the difficult but cathartic process of writing A Good Wife. We spend a considerable amount of time discussing cultural stigma against divorce in the Pakistani community, Samra's current work in speaking up against abuse, and what’s next on the horizon for her. Samra also tells me how she chose the title and cover photo on the book...there's a touching and emotional story behind the cover photo in particular.
For those who haven't come across the book yet, A Good Wife is about Samra’s personal experience escaping a 10+ year abusive marriage, which began when she was forced into the marriage as a child bride. Samra has courageously shared her story with the world through this memoir which launched March 5, 2019, and has quickly became an inspirational figure of hope for those facing gender-based violence. Along with starting a non-profit called Brave Beginnings for survivors of abuse, Samra now speaks to audiences around the world about this issue.
Samra is the winner of countless awards for her tireless work on this issue, including the 2017 RBC Global Citizen Award, the CPACT Malala Yousafzai Women Empowerment Award, the Ascend Canada Mentor of The Year Award, and the John H Moss Scholarship at the University of Toronto (among many others!).
TRIGGER WARNING: The episode covers topics related to domestic and sexual abuse.
The Story Behind Thorncliffe Park’s Jewel - Iqbal Halal Foods
This episode focuses on Iqbal Halal Foods, a South Asian grocery store in Thorncliffe Park neighbourhood.
Thorncliffe Park is a neighborhood where almost 80% of the population is racialized (aka visible minority), and nearly three quarters of the population report English is NOT their mother tongue. The most common languages in the neighborhood are Urdu and Gujrati. The neighborhood is home to some of the best restaurant in Toronto in my humble opinion –Fayley’s, Hakka Garden, Bamiyan Kabob, and Kandahar Kabob to name a few. Along with East York Town Center, the local mosque, and now the Costco, a landmark of the neighborhood is Iqbal Halal Foods, a South Asian supermarket, which is the focus of our episode today.
In this episode, I talk about my experience of going grocery shopping at Iqbal Foods - the hustle bustle of the store, the diversity you see in the neighborhood, the awkwardness of me trying to buy spices I’ve only ever seen in my mother’s spice cupboard, and the lighthearted jokes from the staff that work there.
I then talk about the founder, Iqbal Malek and share his entrepreneurship journey, which started when he came to Canada in 1971 with $7 in his pocket. His story is barely documented anywhere online – I know because I scoured the internet for it. I came across his bio and story on the RBC Top Canadian Immigrant website, and wanted to recognize and honour his story through this podcast episode.
I close the episode by touching on the theme of immigrant entrepreneurship – how come immigrants are twice as likely to become entrepreneurs? I share info from studies from the Harvard Business Review and talk about some of the reasons behind this trend.
Practicing spirituality in a big and busy city: A journey to Sufism
In the first part of the episode, I share my own experience learning about Islam as a child in Sunday School in a Scarborough and Vaughan mosque, and how in my early 20s I started exploring concepts of Sufi philosophy.
The majority of this episode is an interview with my friend Hamed Murad, who practices Sufism very actively and participates in meditative Sufi whirling (aka whirling dervishes) as a form of prayer. Hamed shares his experience of growing up in Afghanistan under Taliban rule, where religion was forced upon him, was heavily focused on rituals and was very intense. Hamed talks about leaving Afghanistan to study in Europe at age 17, going through periods of questioning his religion, and at one point thinking he’ll never enter a religious institution again. He shares his spiritual journey over the years and how he’s gotten to where he is now. Hamed and I also discuss the importance of soulful introspection and how to connect with the deeper part of yourself when living such hectic, busy lives living and working in a big city like Toronto.
LGBTQ+ Conversations in the South Asian Community
In this episode, I sit down with Hazel Hunter, a young South Asian woman of Indian background. We met in my apartment and had a conversation about her experience of coming out to her Indian parents as a lesbian in her early 20s. In this episode, Hazel describes how she came out to her parents and how the dynamic between her and her parents has changed over the years. Hazel also talks about finding (and creating!) LGBTQ+ spaces for South Asians and allies in Toronto. Last but not least, we touch on themes around mental health, and Hazel shares her experience of being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and how she has learned to fully embrace all aspects of her identity through things like yoga and mindfulness.
The Gentrification of Toronto's "Little India" Neighbourhood
This episode is about the gentrification of what used to be Little India, or Gerrard India Bazaar in Toronto.
I share my experiences growing up in Toronto in the 1990s and 2000s, and how Gerrard India Bazaar was a central meeting space. The area was a dynamic, bustling enclave of shops that catered to South Asian immigrants living in Toronto, including the very first Bollywood theatre in all of North America – the Naaz Theatre. This neighbourhood was a central meeting space for South Asian immigrants who were craving a piece of home in a foreign environment. It was a place where friendships, love, and community was created.
The episode explores how the area has changed over the years due to gentrification and other factors, and shows the perspective of a local shopkeeper (owner of “Desi Burgers” store) who has run her family business in Little India for 24 years. We conclude with discussion about the increase in rent in Toronto, the impact it’s having on mom and pop shops like hers, and how Little India is slowly disappearing and disaggregating, along with the vibrant community it hosted for so many decades.
Language - Reconnecting With My Roots Through My Mother Tongue (Urdu)
This is a story about how my first language was Urdu, and how I learned English as a 3 and a half year old…It’s also a story about how teaching me English backfired a little, and how my parents forced me to retain the ability to speak Urdu.
While growing up I resented getting in trouble for something as silly as not speaking Urdu at home, this relatively minor effort that my parents made gave me a gift that allows me to access a whole other world.
