Tropes And Dreams

(1998) The one and only Halloween rom com (tbh barely) deserved its own episode! We watched everybody's favorite fall film and had a blast, but would still struggle to explain it to anyone, even after taking notes. Our main takeaways: wig budgets should model themselves after this film. If everyone's hair isn't down to their ass, is it even worth filming? Also, cop as the love interest? Fucking BOO. Hah. Boo! Get it? Happy Halloween, everybody.

(2007) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode) DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE (please listen to this episode)

(2001) How could we have been so wrong? So wrong for as long as possible? Again, Hugh Grant could tear me limb from limb and I'd smile about it, but Colin Firth could disembowel me and I wouldn't put up a fight. Anyways Happy Halloween. Fuck. 

(2011) Gee golly gosh is there an obvious winner when you compare this film to No Strings Attached. One had realistic relationships and honestly holds up pretty well, while the other aged like milk; a cheaply-shot 2011 time capsule nightmare starring Justin fucking Timberlake, and the most phoned-in Mila Kunis you’ve ever seen. Mila we know it’s not your fault. Jump in everyone, we’re back and we’re still fucking mean.

(2011) She's not like other girls; she's an emotionally unavailable doctor. She's also not like other rom com girls, in that she's an actual person who develops an actual relationship with another actual person. She's....Natalie Portman! He's Ashton Kutcher! And we really liked this movie. Tune in before we take a month-long break to catch up on all the shit we didn't have time to do because we were making content! For you!!

(2020) Snuggle up to this bummer of a holiday film. It’s got everything, lesbians, a horrible small town, and an ending no one wanted or expected. Clea Duvall, are you quite alright?* *no

(1999) This revolutionary commentary on gender and sexuality did so many things so beautifully on a budget of $11! Critics hated it, but they were stupid and wrong and we loved it! That said, we will not pretend that the dialouge was masterfully crafted; we wouldn't lie to you. We would never do that.

(2005) How could anyone think that this isn’t a romcom? We have no idea. Will Smith is in this... and boy howdy is he ever! Nicholas Keller joins us for this classic, which in true form, falls apart to a devastating extent 20 minutes from the end.

(2010) Wow. It's terrifying to be a woman, even in a made up world where problems aren't real. That being said Kristen Bell is as cute as a button and Danny Devito should have been the love interest. (Also we didn't really notice but like... maybe we do the Borat voice in this like... so many times? Don't hold it against us) Come along for the ride! 

(1998) Who pronounces these actors' names correctly on the first go? (We'll give you one guess, it's not Charlie!) When did the internet stop being a mystical tube? How is this film so unbelievably charming and so thoroughly scary at the same time? So many questions, far fewer answers, but nonetheless we do hope you'll join us.

(2003) Our first ever guest of the show, Brianna Wellen, joined us to dissect this 2003 staple of genre. As spellbindingly charming as it is utterly fucking nonsensical, this movie will transport you to a parallel New York, one where there are absolutely no serious journalism opportunities, but you can rent an apartment for approximately $8 a year! Boy howdy!

(2006) From the mind of an 8th grader comes a confusing as fuck film wherein not one person can correctly define the word “fate”. Is fate fixed? Can you steal someone else’s fate? Is that not completely antithetical to the concept of fate?? Jesus christ.

(2020) Damn. Do you like movies that blatantly steal? Do you, on a fundamental level, not understand money? Then you'll love this film! A wildly talented cast and just truly terrible writing, we absolutely do not love to see it.

(2011) Why did this fucking movie end like this? It was so good!!! But those last 20 minutes? Nothing gold can stay. 

In other news, Ryan Gosling is such a smoke show, so fine, bonkers hot, melt your face kinda sexy. Shit. 

(1987) The dancing? Dirty.  Abortion Rights? Not yet.  Patrick Swayze? Doing his best.  Did you also not realize that this was set in the 60s? You're in a safe space. We have fun here. 

(1999) It's a classic. But...why? Join us in unpacking why Usher is in this film, what Rachel Leigh Cook actually brought to the table, and some of the grossest things we’ve ever seen in a rom com!! Also we straight up did not have our podcast mic plugged in, so the sound quality is absolutely bottom of the barrel (and we are apologetic.) Get in there!

Take a stroll with us through the nine circles of hell contained in this 2010 abomination. Everyone and their mother was in this stupid god damn movie. The question and the answer is why. Join Us. Join Us. Join Us. 

Have you ever used a friend's vibrator without asking? If so, you may feel seen by the writing of this 2019 film, but just know... we see you...and we don't support you. Tune in. 

(2009) This movie was an alright time for comedy lovers everywhere and a rough time for anyone not white. Also why did they put Sandra in those eighth grade graduation flats? She's a grown lady! We have no answers, only criticisms and wild speculation. 

(1999) Can you find us a photo of Hugh Grant's bare ass? We are willing to pay an embarrassing amount of money. Serious inquiries only.

(2009) This is the worst movie we've ever seen. Like ever. UnHOLY. Please join us in mourning Katherine Heigl's career; she deserved better. 

(2014) What ever happened to Miles Teller? Should this movie have been a play? We almost have the answers!  

Was The Holiday (2006) good? Does it matter? Grab a drink, let's discuss.