Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
By Precious Detina
Unmothered + Unbothered PodcastAug 08, 2021
77: Standoffish or Barely Standing?
76: The Donda West Effect
75: 5 Things to Understand Before Healing From Mama Trauma
I was so motivated to get this message out! It’s healing time!! In this episode, I share 5 pivotal things that I had to grasp and fully understand before I was able to see a real difference in my healing process. Listen, digest, and move accordingly!
74: Parenting From a Place of Trauma feat. Joycelyn Johnson
73: I Know Ya’ll Been Talking About Me!
Hey y’all! What y’all been doing??
In this episode, I explain the reason for my dry spell and briefly mention what I have in the works for the future of Unmothered + Unbothered!
72: My Mother Was in a Cult pt. 5
This is the last part of the 4-hour interview that I had with Amanda as she told me her story of growing up with a mother in a cult. In episode 71, Amanda describes her mother's final days and shares the things her mother went through during the last few years of her life. In this episode, we discuss the aftermath of growing up with a mother in a cult and why we think the destruction of her mother's soul was more about HER than her mother.
I hope you have enjoyed Amanda's story and her transparency. This is a one-of-a-kind account that I am so blessed to have the opportunity to share. I appreciate your patience in getting the episodes released. I have never faced so many issues when it comes to releasing content and I believe that was on purpose. I am a spiritual person and I feel that the attacks on my life happened so that Amanda's story wouldn't get out. But that's just me.
Check Amanda out on IG @cambridgestorm
Amanda also owns a skateboard company out of LA called Westside Mage. Check it out at westsidemage.com
Keep in touch!
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Facebook: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
71: My Mother Was in a Cult pt. 4
70: My Mother Was in a Cult pt. 3
69: My Mother Was in a Cult pt. 2
This is part 2 and there is a huge bomb dropped at the end of the episode! Part 1 explained Amanda's background and how her mom got connected to the woman that will destroy her and those closest to her.
Stay tuned for part 3!!
68: My Mother Was in a Cult pt. 1
An orchestrated meeting with a stranger leads Amanda's mom to run through her 401k, buy a condo for the stranger, buy a brand new car for the stranger's daughter and ultimately leave her mom broke and homeless.
These are just a few details you will hear in this series. There couldn't be a better episode to jump-start my comeback! In this episode, I interview Amanda about her growing up with a mother that was in a cult until the day she died. This ended up being a 4-hour interview, full of twists and turns that I was not ready for! This is part 1 but I will be dropping the other parts weekly until we are done. Listen carefully! You won't want to miss a thing!
67: “My Mother Just Don’t Love Me” an anonymous interview feat. “MJ”
66: Being Honorable While Speaking My Truth feat. Imani Brooks-Wheeler
Tune-in as we chat about relinquishing control and allowing God to have the final say when it comes to saving our mothers. Laugh with us as we discuss those times where we had it all wrong in life and being thankful for clarity. Finally, hear how Imani currently honors her mother's wishes, demonstrating that honoring your parents takes on many meanings.
Two of my favorite Imani Jewels:
"You reap what you sow, not where you sow."
"Control is protection from a place of pain."
Ways to contact Imani:
Email: www.meetimani.com
Twitter:@meetimanidotcom
IG: @meetimanidotcom_
FB: Imani Brooks-Wheeler
Check me out on:
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
65: My Mother is Not Welcome in My House feat. Sabrina Belton
In this episode, I speak with Sabrina about growing up with a mother that was too trusting and carefree. As a result, Sabrina had to grow up before her time and experienced some things that she will never forget. Although her mother has a giving heart, Sabrina often shuffled between her home and her grandmother's home because her mother did not provide a stable place for her to live. She often lost the rent money on extracurricular activities, claiming that God would find a way to provide for them. Her attention was always focused on the men in her life, who were an unwelcomed, unhealthy addition to their lives. Sabrina is now an adult with her own family and her mother has yet to "grow up", which resulted in Sabrina taking her sister into her home at the age of 3. She is now a 19-year-old college student. What was supposed to be a temporary fix until her mother pulled it together, turned into a permanent situation. Sabrina figured this would happen, so her primary goal all through college was to obtain her degree so that she could create a stable home for her sister to grow up in.
Losing her hearing at the age of 3, being molested by several men from the age of 5, and holding a secret about her uncle for years so that her cousins would not be without their father, did not stop Sabrina from accomplishing her goals. She made no excuses and still does not. She has learned to create boundaries with her mother without guilt and accepts her for who she is. I am so proud of the woman Sabrina has fought to become and I know you all will be too!
Memorable quote:
"At 13 I revealed to my mother that my Uncle had had sex with me on several occasions and I didn't want her to tell anyone because I didn't want my cousins to be without a father. So in return, my mother blackmailed him and made him provide me school clothes every year. His wife unknowingly would take me shopping."
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
64: Embrace Your Triggers
There is a natural inclination to run from those things, people, and places that trigger us. This is assuming that we even know what our triggers are because most of us mistake our strong emotional reactions for passion and that is not always the case. We also run from our triggers because they scare us but we learn so much from those triggers. This episode is a quick look at why its important to delve into those triggers and embrace them.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
63: A Heart-to-Heart Convo About Forgiveness
I know how I used to feel about forgiveness so I never want to force my current opinions on others. I do want to be able to tell my story and encourage others to take a close look at themselves and question whether they truly are "okay" with not forgiving someone. I used to think that I was not harboring ill feelings towards my mother and that forgiving her was not necessary until I began to notice my own toxic behaviors. All I'm asking is that you stay true to yourself when it comes to what you need to feel whole.
62: Facade (Ep. 1 Replay)
This week I have decided to re-publish my very 1st episode, which happens to be the one with the most downloads. Lately, I have been reminded more and more of how important it is to be authentic to who I really am. Not because I want to be phony, but because I am constantly being told that I am too much. This is especially the case in professional settings because I am so passionate about what I do. Being told to relax or to hear coworkers say that I do "too much" is commonplace for me and I work hard every day to ensure I continue to show up, authentically.
Dealing with this in the workplace can be tough for any of us for many reasons, but especially because we already battle imposters syndrome. We also fight against feelings of inadequacies because of the toxic relationships we had with our mothers, therefore this extra layer is frustrating. I re-published this episode to help all of us battle these feelings and to serve as the reminder we need to never water ourselves down or apologize for who we are.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
61: Stop Hating Yourself!
In this episode, I explain what self-loathing is and give specific examples. I also discuss the importance of not allowing other people's insecurities to shape your view of yourself. Self-loathing does not have to be a lifelong battle. You are in control of your own life and there is still hope.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Facebook: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Blog: Passionately Precious
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Visit my Amazon Author Page to purchase my one-of-a-kind journals!
60: Passive -Aggressiveness
In this episode, I explain what passive-aggressiveness is and how it plays out in people's actions. I use a personal story as an example to show what it looks like in real-time. I personally am not a fan of passive-aggressive people because I am more confrontational in nature. In my opinion, there is no benefit in holding something that will eventually manifest in another way. Be up-front about it so that we can move on.
IG: unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
FB: The Unmothered and Unbothered Podcast
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
59: Social Media Smear Campaigns
In this episode, I discuss smear campaigns, also known as social media draggings. You know, when someone attempts to embarrass and discredit you online because they need people on their side? They make videos or create outlandish posts aimed at you, hoping to get a rise out of you. Why do people do that? What are their actions REALLY about? Let's talk about it!
IG:@unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
58: Your Feelings Are Valid
Why do we suppress our feelings instead of showing them? Why do we equate certain feelings to being soft, hostile, and inadequate? The answer is simple: we were never taught how to process our feelings. We were taught that suppressing our feelings somehow gives us the upper hand. It does not. What we are feeling will come out one way or another and we will be forced to deal with them.
In this episode, I discuss how we can become comfortable with feeling and why it's important.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Email:unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
57: Who You Have Always Been vs. Who You Need to Be
Why do we feel that people should except the ugly parts of us just because its how we've always been? Why do we not feel that we should change those things? Saying "that's just the way I am" is just another way of saying "oh well" to the hurt, pain, frustration, and embarrassment that we may cause other people. That attitude is very dismissive and selfish. There is a way to be yourself but do it in a way that reflects positivity. That take it or leave it attitude may get you left!
Follow me on Instagram: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Like my Facebook page @unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Blog: Passionately Precious
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Follow my Amazon author page and check out my one-of-a-kind journals, designed by me
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56: The Parenting Pivot feat. Tracie Osborne
In this episode, I interview Tracie Osborne about how she had to make a conscious decision to parent her sons, intentionally. She parented her kids the same way she was parented until she realized it was wrong. Listen as she explains when and why she found it necessary to pivot her parenting.
Email: tracieosbornespeaks@gmail.com
IG: tracieosbornespeaks
Follow me on Instagram: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Like my Facebook page
Twitter: @podcastpresh
Blog: Passionately Precious
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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55: Enough is Enough
Please excuse me as I let off some steam! LOL, It is not often that I go off like this but it's needed sometimes.
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast
FB: https://m.facebook.com/Unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast/
Twitter: @theycallmepresh
Tumblr: PreciousDetina
Blog: https://preciousdetina.com
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
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54: How to Handle Awkward Mother-Daughter Conversations
When you grow up with an untraditional relationship with your mother, it can be very awkward when the topic of MAMAS comes up in conversation. You're not sure what to say because you cannot relate to what's being said. Or you do chime in but seem to always say the wrong thing because you honestly do not understand the mother-daughter dynamic as it is supposed to be. In addition, you may be nervous about being asked too many questions about your mother, which forces you to decide if you want to share the truth and risk being judged or pitied, or change the subject and make it awkward for those involved.
In this episode, I share tips that I use when the inevitable topic of mothers comes up in conversation. The key is to not allow yourself to feel like the strange one. Your story is your story and there is nothing you can do about it. Your experiences made you into the wonderfully unique person you are today and the world would not be the same without you!
This episode is sponsored by Blink Beautiful Lashes, where they believe that everyone should blink beautifully!
IG: @UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast
FB: https://m.facebook.com/Unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast/
Twitter: @theycallmepresh
Tumblr: PreciousDetina
Blog: https://preciousdetina.com
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Follow my Amazon author page and check out my one-of-a-kind journals, designed and published by yours truly: https://www.amazon.com/Leilani-Grace/e/B089DP8QR6
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53: Fighting for an Unavailable Love feat. "Tanesha"
In this anonymous episode, I interview "Tanesha" about how her unmothered childhood has impacted her friendships and romantic relationships. This is her first time telling her story and she does a great job of painting a picture of what physical & emotional abuse looks like at the hands of your own mother. You do not want to miss this one!
This episode is sponsored by @blinkbeautifullashes on Instagram. Listen to find out how to get free shipping on your order.
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast
FB: https://m.facebook.com/Unmotheredandunbotheredpodcast/
Twitter: @theycallmepresh
Tumblr: PreciousDetina
Blog: https://preciousdetina.com
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Follow my Amazon author page and check out my one-of-a-kind journals, designed by me: https://www.amazon.com/Leilani-Grace/e/B089DP8QR6
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52: Teaching People How to Treat You
51: Responding to Emotional Manipulators
50: Emotional Manipulation: What Are the Signs?
49: Meet Ms. Rose...My Mama.
This is the episode you’ve all been waiting for, even if you didn’t know you were waiting! I am so excited about this one! Introducing Ms. Rose, the woman that gave birth to all this fabulousness called Precious Detina! Listen as we discuss self-love, the bible, and shame. What you will also hear is years of frustration, pain, anger, resentment, and PRIDE being washed away by growth and forgiveness!
The rapport we have in this interview is all due to doing the work and divine intervention! Enjoy and please share!
There is hope!
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast
FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
FB Private Group: The Unmothered + Unbothered Group
Webpage: preciousdetina.com
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Please 5 STAR RATE AND REVIEW in iTunes, SUBSCRIBE and SHARE
48: Mother’s Day Message for the Unmothered
47: No Contact, in My Own Words
46: Overly Involved Mother: An Anonymous Interview feat. “ Nicole”.
In this episode I interviewed “Nicole”, who wished to remain anonymous. She shares a different aspect of toxic mothers that some would call MATERNAL ENMESHMENT. This can essentially be described as a mother being overly and inappropriately involved in their (in this case) daughters life. She lives through the daughter and depends on her for physical and emotional support in most cases. The mother does not want the daughter to have any independence and will guilt her if she has her own mind. There are many layers and degrees to enmeshment and in this episode you’ll hear “Nicole’s” version.
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
45: I’m so Proud of You!!
44: I’m Wack AF!
43: Stop Caring About the Opinions of People You Don’t Know
42: Don’t be Led by Emotion
41: Trust Yourself to Make Decisions About Your Life
40: Your Voice Matters!
39: Your Past Shaped You Into Something Beautiful!
38: You Are Full of Potential!
37: If You Want to Hurt Me, Call Me Selfish.
36: What You're Raised in, You Absorb feat. Brenna Wilder
35: Mama Drama Straight From My DM's: Should I Invite My Mother to My Wedding?
Follow me on IG @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
34: You Can't Heal What You Haven't Uncovered.
In this episode, I explain what core wounds are and why you need to connect to the source of your wounds in order to heal them. The "source" is not a person or people, but more about the wound that remained after trauma took place. For example, my mother not raising me left a core wound of rejection. This core wound has kept me from making genuine connections with some people and has caused me to reject others before they reject me. A few common core wounds are abandonment, betrayal, abuse, and rejection. Core wounds vary so make sure you research to find what fits you. If you do not know how to discover your core wounds, here are a few ways to discover them: Pay attention to your triggers, listen to your body, and spend time recording your thoughts and feelings.
Listen to the episode to hear the traits that you may exhibit if you have unhealed core wounds.
IG: UnmotheredUnbotheredPodcast | FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Music track produced by @akilpratt on IG
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33: "Going No Contact Was a Matter of Life and Death" feat. Shawn Marshall
Shawn Marshall joins me on this episode as we discuss boundaries, maternal abandonment, drug addiction, teen pregnancy, suicide and more. After listening to episode 26: No Contact Was Best, featuring Black Cat, Shawn had the courage to go no contact with her mom without feeling guilty. She joins me from Virginia, where she lives with her husband and six-year-old son. At the current age of 38, she is positioned to retire from the military in 2 years. Shawn and I became fast friends as we bonded over stories of trauma and pain. Through this newfound friendship, we hope to work through the forgiveness process so that healing can take place, ultimately sharing stories of peace and prosperity.
cmarsh0721@gmail.com
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast | @preciousdetina
FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | The Unmothered + Unbothered Group
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
32: April Mack Fit Spotlight/Interview
This week on Tell Us About it Tuesday (or what was supposed to be TUAT), we have April Mack out of Birmingham, AL, creator of Kick | Box | Sculpt and host of the Warm Up, Cool Down Podcast. April and I go back 20 years to undergrad and it was great catching up with her. She discusses how she left corporate America to follow her passion and how she finds the most joy out of the non-paying gigs she gets. You also don't want to miss the story of how she was stopped in the grocery store by a woman she never met, only to be told something that would forever stay in her heart. What started as a short spotlight, ended up being a memorable conversation about finding your passion, maintaining peace and raising a 15-year-old. If you are contemplating a change in your journey or are the parent to a teenager (bless you), you have to take a listen.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast | @preciousdetina
FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast | The Unmothered + Unbothered Group
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
IG: @aprilmackfit | @gauntletfitness | @mpowerbhm @kickboxsculpt
FB: April Mackattack
Email: mackfitcontact@gmail.com
Background track, Cold Maybe, produced by @akilpratt
31: The Key to My Confidence
I am often asked about my ability to make decisions based on what is good for me. Sometimes that means upsetting or disappointing other people, but that comes with the territory. I have to have peace in my life and within my heart, so when making decisions I consider this first. In my life this often looks like creating boundaries for certain people or cutting them out of my life all-together. Though not always the easiest thing to do, it is always whats best for my sanity.
I believe that being confident in who you are and trusting your decision-making is the key. How do you get there? By loving yourself, unconditionally. This takes time and exploration and is truly a lifelong journey, however, it will change your life once achieved. You will begin to see things differently and make decisions about your life with your peace of mind at the forefront of those decision-making processes. It does not mean that you won't care about other people or their feelings, but it WILL mean that you will stop putting other people's feelings ahead of yours.
IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
FB: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
Private FB Group: The Unmothered + Unbothered Group
Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
30: What Type of Friend Are You?
29: Cassie's World Podcast Spotlight
IG: thepodcastcassiesworld
Website: Cassie's World
28: Views From a Jerk Spotlight with Nekos Davis
On this week's Tell Us About it Tuesday, I sit down with my friend, in real life, Nekos Davis. He is the host of Views From a Jerk podcast, a show in which his logic is the only logic that matters. If you want to hear a point of view that is probably unlike yours, tune in. Nekos is a highly opinionated, sarcastic comedienne, that will always bless you with a song. This 20 minute conversation will allow a small glimpse into what most of our conversations are like. You're welcome.
IG: itsnekos
Twitter: wheresNekos
Website: itsnekos.com